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Learn These 5 Clever Ways To Get Rid Of Manipulators

Learn These 5 Clever Ways To Get Rid Of Manipulators

Some people exist and flourish in this world only because they constantly use others to their advantage to get ahead. Manipulators have the ability to make others feel as if something is owed to them, and often prey on hard-working, selfless individuals who are more susceptible to being exploited in their work. If you find yourself in a situation in which someone is trying to manipulate you, remember: You are your own person. Never ever let anyone make you feel otherwise.

1. Recognize the problem

The first step in dealing with a manipulative individual, whether at work or in your personal life, is to realize you’re being manipulated. These people will expect you to drop everything you’re doing when they’re in need of assistance, and are incredibly pervasive in their demands for help. They don’t consider your needs in the slightest when they need something to be done, and view their needs as top priority. If you notice colleagues or so-called friends putting their own needs ahead of yours, start taking steps to thwart their attempts immediately.

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2. Ask questions

Manipulators will attempt to get you to do something for them with no questions asked. So when you ask questions of them, it shifts the balance of power ever so slightly to your side. Ask them why or how a task will benefit all parties involved, or if they really think what they’re asking is reasonable. If they’re being honest, they’ll have to admit that they’re being a bit unreasonable or illogical. If they choose not to be honest, you’ve shifted power even further to your side since you have no reason to do anything for someone who’s less than truthful with you.

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3. Stand firm

Manipulators are just bullies in adult clothing. They prey on people who they know won’t stand up for themselves, as they know they’ll always get what they want from them. However, manipulators completely lose power when their victim stands their ground in front of them. They’re so used to having their bidding done for them that when someone defies their demands they have no idea what to do. When you stand firm against a manipulator, they’ll often try to sway your decision. Don’t let it happen. Only you can control you; compromising just once can lead to a slippery slope in which you’re constantly victimized by aggressors.

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4. Use time to your advantage

Manipulators make demands and impose deadlines that cause their victims massive stress. But your time is yours. If someone who you know is trying to take advantage of you demands you complete a task within a certain period of time, tell them you’ll “think about it.” Doing so is just as effective as shutting them down completely. In fact, stringing them along completely turns the tables on the manipulator, as they’ll be the ones waiting to hear from you. Of course, you don’t want to become the manipulator yourself, but it can’t hurt your own cause to give your aggressor a taste of their own medicine.

5. Set consequences

The demands manipulators impose on others are, in their eyes, mandates that must be accomplished. They’ll do their best to make it seem as if you owe them, and must do what they say. In truth, if you do them this favor, it’s them who will owe you. Make that extremely clear to them. This works especially if you have other mandates that do require your immediate attention. If they discover that they’ll end up having to do something for you in return, they’ll more than likely rescind their demand. Although they’ll probably try to find another victim rather than simply completing the task on their own, at least you’ve succeeded in getting them off your back.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm5.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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