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Learn These 5 Clever Ways To Get Rid Of Manipulators

Learn These 5 Clever Ways To Get Rid Of Manipulators

Some people exist and flourish in this world only because they constantly use others to their advantage to get ahead. Manipulators have the ability to make others feel as if something is owed to them, and often prey on hard-working, selfless individuals who are more susceptible to being exploited in their work. If you find yourself in a situation in which someone is trying to manipulate you, remember: You are your own person. Never ever let anyone make you feel otherwise.

1. Recognize the problem

The first step in dealing with a manipulative individual, whether at work or in your personal life, is to realize you’re being manipulated. These people will expect you to drop everything you’re doing when they’re in need of assistance, and are incredibly pervasive in their demands for help. They don’t consider your needs in the slightest when they need something to be done, and view their needs as top priority. If you notice colleagues or so-called friends putting their own needs ahead of yours, start taking steps to thwart their attempts immediately.

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2. Ask questions

Manipulators will attempt to get you to do something for them with no questions asked. So when you ask questions of them, it shifts the balance of power ever so slightly to your side. Ask them why or how a task will benefit all parties involved, or if they really think what they’re asking is reasonable. If they’re being honest, they’ll have to admit that they’re being a bit unreasonable or illogical. If they choose not to be honest, you’ve shifted power even further to your side since you have no reason to do anything for someone who’s less than truthful with you.

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3. Stand firm

Manipulators are just bullies in adult clothing. They prey on people who they know won’t stand up for themselves, as they know they’ll always get what they want from them. However, manipulators completely lose power when their victim stands their ground in front of them. They’re so used to having their bidding done for them that when someone defies their demands they have no idea what to do. When you stand firm against a manipulator, they’ll often try to sway your decision. Don’t let it happen. Only you can control you; compromising just once can lead to a slippery slope in which you’re constantly victimized by aggressors.

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4. Use time to your advantage

Manipulators make demands and impose deadlines that cause their victims massive stress. But your time is yours. If someone who you know is trying to take advantage of you demands you complete a task within a certain period of time, tell them you’ll “think about it.” Doing so is just as effective as shutting them down completely. In fact, stringing them along completely turns the tables on the manipulator, as they’ll be the ones waiting to hear from you. Of course, you don’t want to become the manipulator yourself, but it can’t hurt your own cause to give your aggressor a taste of their own medicine.

5. Set consequences

The demands manipulators impose on others are, in their eyes, mandates that must be accomplished. They’ll do their best to make it seem as if you owe them, and must do what they say. In truth, if you do them this favor, it’s them who will owe you. Make that extremely clear to them. This works especially if you have other mandates that do require your immediate attention. If they discover that they’ll end up having to do something for you in return, they’ll more than likely rescind their demand. Although they’ll probably try to find another victim rather than simply completing the task on their own, at least you’ve succeeded in getting them off your back.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm5.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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