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Why Couples Who Argue Maintain A Closer And Healthier Relationship

Why Couples Who Argue Maintain A Closer And Healthier Relationship

Many people tend to see arguments in a negative light. They assume disputes can cause breakage and tear two people apart. However, research has shown that the opposite is the case. Seeing these arguments in a positive light can bring strength to a partnership. Couples who argue regularly understand what commitment means and how they can channel their energy into helping the other person to appreciate, love, and understand them.

Rather than condemn the idea, it is best to try to understand why couples who argue can maintain a healthy and close relationship.

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1. It means the line of communication is open

Arguments can be the best way to deal with issues and opens emotions, rather than just hiding how you feel and having these issues develop into resentment. According to a study conducted in India, many couples agreed that arguments can be healthy and keep the line of communication open. Arguments can bring a constructive perspective to a situation and make a couple deal with it openly.

2. It means you are concerned about the other person

Arguments can make us emotionally charged and show just how much we care. If you are really comfortable and concerned about the other person, airing your opinions won’t destroy your relationship. Rather, it may bring new strength to your relationship. When an argument is healthy, you can feel how concerned the other person is about you.

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3. It means your relationship is alive

No one likes a boring atmosphere where there is no intensity and controversy. Some drama can keep a relationship alive and active. This kind of drama exposes you to each other’s energy and fire. Such arguments also keep you awake and alert to the other person’s discomforts, needs, and characteristics — something you learn to deal with and adjust to in time.

4. It means you will learn from each other

No one should shy away from learning and trying to discover a new thread of thought or perspective on life. When you argue, you will learn from each other and see yourselves from another person’s point of view. You can truly see the other person and their knowledge in the form of a hot debate, one that you might learn a little from.

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5. It means you are real to each other

You are not pretending when you argue, since disputes are expressive. You can be authentic and allow the other person accept you for who you are — your energy, opinions, and temper. The other person can see you at your worst and find a way to appreciate you anyway.

6. It means you can deal with issues

Arguments show a level of maturity in a relationship and how well you are able to deal with negativity. Rather than run away from issues, you are willing to take on difficulties and survive them together as a couple. Arguments bring you closer in terms of allowing for each other’s negative energy and sticking with your partner regardless. There is power in every argument and that power is represented in how you survive each one.

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7. It means you stand for something

You and your partner both have values and opinions that are solid. Arguments make you defend these values and represent what you stand for. Although some may see this in a negative light, it is actually a positive thing. Having solid opinions and beliefs means that you both have something substantive you are bringing to the table. Sometimes, accepting a compromise or making a sacrifice will show how much you care about the other person and how much you are offering to make the relationship work.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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