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8 Hacks to Conquer a Life-changing Injury like a Boss

8 Hacks to Conquer a Life-changing Injury like a Boss

Life is rarely easy but, for some unlucky few, it often throws a life-changing curve ball. While many of us can shrug off cuts and bruises, there are some injuries that change lives.

It’s during these challenging moments that many people simply give up and accept their change as a loss. However, life is full of pleasant surprises and examples that show a better option – talk about transforming lemons into lemonades. History is full of people accepting their devastating injuries and like true champions – finding a way to achieve even more in the aftermath.

A valuable example can be easily traced to the success stories already being achieved in the wake of the Boston Marathon Bombing. Survivors suffered various injuries and health issues, yet many are achieving great things with their lives, using the experience gained to realize their potential – all in just two years!

So, how can you take inspiration from these real life heroes and improve your own life when the worst happens? Life-changing injuries don’t need to be a change for the worse and, with these life hacks, you can strive to overcome them like a boss!

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1. Don’t Live in Denial

A positive attitude really does count for a lot, but even this initially requires acceptance. How can you have the right frame of mind if you don’t come to terms with your physical changes? One of the first things you should do is accept, both mentally and physically, what you can and can’t do.

To put it another way, this is a way of finding your current limits and setting a goal to beat them. Once you know what you are and are not currently capable of, you can start finding ways to push that bar higher and higher. Denial, on the other hand, will simply mislead you.

2. Set Goals

Speaking of goals, it’s important to have a series of achievable targets, rather than one large or vague goal. The latter might look impossible, while a series of objectives more firmly within reach gives you something to constantly strive for. This can be as simple as using a wheelchair, learning to stand up on your own and then walking.

3. Find an Outlet

When injuries change you on a physical level, it’s often no surprise to experience emotional or mental changes as well. As part of the healing process, it helps to find an emotional outlet. Not only will this give you a means to work through your pain; it can help fill time, encourage you to head outdoors, and even meet others.

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This is also important because, in many incidents, the brain can be just as damaged as the body. The mind is a frail thing, so be sure not to neglect it during these difficult times.

4. Practice Mindfulness

As mentioned earlier on, it helps to accept your own physical limitations. Similarly, you should always keep these in mind, practicing constant mindfulness to ensure you don’t take on too much, do something dangerous, or push yourself too hard.

5. Go Back to Nature

There’s always been something calm and relaxing about the natural world and modern science suggests that even the smallest touches of nature can help people heal. Whether it’s the vibrant colors, the enticing fragrance or just forgetting about the city for a while, nature can play a large role in the healing process.

You don’t need to even leave your home to do this. While a day away from the city life can do wonders, there’s nothing wrong with growing flowers and plants in your home. There are many activities you can enjoy with loved ones by simply embracing the environment.

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6. Meet with Others

It’s a big world out there and no matter what happens, you are never alone. There are always other people who have experienced something similar and if you take the time to look, you can find people willing to share experiences. Perhaps more importantly, they might understand better too.

Part of coming to terms with, and consequently beating injuries is finding a way to be happy. Positive thinking can lead to better, faster recovery rates and meeting like-minded individuals is a great way to do this. What’s more, people like company and seldom benefit from long periods of loneliness. Therefore, regular contact with other individuals will definitely give you the cheer to beat your setback!

7. Your Disability is not an Excuse

One of the biggest issues with disabilities is that life itself is often seen as an excuse. Yet, the fact remains that disabled people can do just as much as anyone else. The best way to describe this is to look at two different options.

In one instance, you can work around your limitations or injury and find something you can do. This includes finding a job, or finding new hobbies to replace ones you no longer feel are suitable. By choosing a new path, you can stay active, engaged and happy.

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On the other hand, there are those who wish to push through their injuries, seeing the disability as a challenge. Many runners from the unfortunate Boston Marathon incident for example, have gone on to run again, defying expectations.

In either case, you’re doing something. If you accept your disability and use it as a means to get out of things, life will never improve. Like anyone else, you have to push yourself and not fall back on excuses.

8. Become an Example/Inspiration to Others

Finally and perhaps, most importantly, you should always set an example for others. Many people look up to the survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing. Many have become a shining example of what individuals can achieve and if you’re ever in the same situation, there’s really no excuse not to do the same.

In summary, many of these points focus on finding a passion or goal to inspire yourself but, by being the best you can be, you will also inspire others to do the same as well. Start thinking about how you want others to see you, and plan then to become that person!

Featured photo credit: Official U.S. Navy Page via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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