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10 Things To Remember When Dating A Strong Woman

10 Things To Remember When Dating A Strong Woman

Western society has this odd notion that strong, independent women are something of a new phenomenon. I’d argue that women have always been strong, we’re just now choosing to acknowledge it. At any rate, strong women are those who don’t rely on anyone else to make their way through life. They do whatever it takes to reach their goals. However, that doesn’t mean they don’t want an equally strong partner by their side along the way.

1. Strong women are always on a mission

Strong women are deliberate in their planning. They know where they want to be in life and they set a clear path in order to get there. They always keep their eye on the goal. If you’ve found yourself dating a strong woman, know that you must fit into her greater plan somewhere.

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2. Strong women go for what they want

After they set their plans in motion, strong women stop at nothing until they reach their goals. They don’t settle for second best or “good enough.” They’ll reach for the stars, and won’t be happy until they get there. Again, if you’re currently in a relationship with a strong woman, be sure that you’re the one she wants, because she’s not settling for anything less than perfection.

3. Strong women take action

Strong women don’t wait for others to catch up or for someone else to give them the “go ahead.” If a job offer comes up that your girlfriend or wife has been working hard for, don’t expect her to feel the need to discuss it with you first. If some handiwork is required around the house, don’t expect her to wait until you get home to dive right in and fix it. Don’t feel emasculated — how do you think she got so far in life in the first place?

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4. Strong women are independent

Strong women don’t need anyone else in their lives. They take action when something needs to be done and can carry their own. They’re not looking for someone to support them in a relationship — they’re looking for someone to grow with them. Don’t feel like you need to be the one bringing home the bacon, but don’t slack off, either. She’s her own woman, and if you’re not growing with her, she won’t need you around.

5. Strong women don’t mind being alone

A strong woman sometimes needs time to herself. After a long day of work, she probably doesn’t want to run up to her man and put on the lovey-dovey housewife act. She might just need some time to rest and reflect on her day. Remember, she doesn’t live for you, so don’t expect her to go all puppy-dog eyed when you get home.

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6. Strong women have strong friends

Strong, independent women have friends with similar personalities. When they get together, you’re more likely to hear them discussing business mergers than gossipy office rumors. Although it may be intimidating to be in a room full of women who are talking over your head, you should definitely admire the drive and determination they all have.

7. Strong women crave knowledge and skill building

Strong women are constantly learning and working to improve themselves. They don’t waste time on frivolous TV or social media garbage when they could be reading or taking a class to further themselves. Be prepared to be active if you’re dating a strong woman. She’ll always be open to new experiences, so you’d better be ready to expand your comfort zone along with her.

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8. Strong women have strong values

Strong women are not morally bankrupt, and they certainly don’t waver in their stances on certain topics. Expect her to stand up for what she believes in, and be prepared to be by her side when she takes action for a cause.

9. Strong women have a purpose

Strong women don’t just have goals, they have a purpose for setting these goals. Of course, their goals most likely align with their value system. They view themselves as incredibly important, and they know they have the power to change the world for the better. Support their goals, and help to give them an even bigger purpose.

10. Strong women will show their soft side if they trust you

Strong women aren’t immune to feeling sad, lonely, or defeated — regardless of how independent they are. However, they’ll only let their guard down around people they trust, such as family, good friends, and loved ones. If your strong-willed wife or girlfriend trusts you enough to bare her soul to you, know that you’re one of the most important people in her life. And realize you have a good thing going — don’t mess it up.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm6.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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