Advertising
Advertising

Advice For Dating A Woman Who’s Used To Being Single

Advice For Dating A Woman Who’s Used To Being Single

Women who are single are used to being independent. They find joy in the things they accomplish alone. Dating independent people like this comes with its own unique set of challenges. It is not as if they do not need companionship. They just might believe in playing their cards their own way, without any external support.

Here are some things you need to remember when you date someone who has always been single and is trying to adjust.

1. She does what she wants without letting you know first

She is so comfortable with being independent. She feels she can do her own thing without letting you know first. She would love to let you know, but she is okay with doing what she wants to do without asking for permission from anyone.

Advertising

2. She can be rigid at first

She has always been determined and steadfast on her own while navigating through situations. When you come in it may mean that a little of her territory has been encroached upon. Expect her to be stubborn at first. Although this will fade, be willing and patient to help her realize that you are partner rather than a “stealer” of territory.

3. She will appear tough

She uses a strong appearance to intimidate others and protect herself. Eventually, they could pull down this veil of supposed strength. It is your responsibility to be patient and understanding. They know what they want. This characteristic they possess could help them filter through the process.

4. She will have overprotective friends

Her friends will be a shield for a while. They will be suspicious of you at first, although they only want to be protective of her. It is just that they are not used to seeing her with someone special. They just want to be certain that she is going out with the right person.

Advertising

5. She will want to take things slowly

She is so used to being with herself that she wants to take things slowly, rather than dive right into a serious relationship. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you, it’s just that she’s slowly absorbing the idea and trying to figure out a way to plug herself into the relationship.

6. She will have a hard time letting you do things for her

She is used to taking care of herself. It isn’t likely that she’ll see you being some sort of Superman coming to her rescue. She has lived so long in her single world that she would find it difficult to have someone else simply looking out for her. So don’t take it personally.

7. She can be afraid

Beyond the tough persona there is some fear and caution that exists within her. She is afraid of being loved. and being in love. She may have been hurt before, and just might be afraid of being hurt again.

Advertising

8. She will question your motives

She wants to get into your thoughts. She would love to know why you do the things you do for them. Since she is used to figuring things out by herself, she will like to figure you out whether you are real deal or not.

9. She will need her space sometimes

You may consider this strange, but she will need her space sometimes. She is used to spending most of her time alone in solitude. Such space and time allows her to think independently and figure things out. And this space makes her see you in a clearer light.

10. She will be reserved

She won’t want to reveal everything important about her life to you right away. It may take some time, especially for her to share the things that matter most and are dearest to her. She will want you to wait for such vital information. Perhaps when you do get to know her better, she will open up the raw version of her beautiful self for you to discover. It will be well worth the wait.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

6 Things To Do Every Day To Ensure You Stick To Your Goals How to Form Your Success Formula to Get Unstuck in Life 10 Habits Of People Who Are Highly Successful At Work 8 Reasons Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful 15 Signs Of Self-Absorbed People

Trending in Communication

1 40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place 2 6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak 3 How to Train Your Brain to Be Optimistic 4 How to Stop Living on Autopilot with Antonio Neves 5 The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

Advertising

Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

Advertising

How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

Advertising

Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

Read Next