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15 Reasons Why Messy People Are Likeable

15 Reasons Why Messy People Are Likeable

When it comes to liking someone, a lot of factors come into play. It is especially interesting to consider first impressions and how many different aspects of a person we take in upon first meeting them. In a matter of seconds, we generally classify the person so we can modify our attitude and decide how to approach the interaction. To truly know someone, we need quite a bit more information. For example, have you ever considered how cleanliness factors into your impressions of others?

“Cleanliness is next to godliness,” but is it really? There are more than a few indicators that point to the idea that messy people are easier to like. Some of them are obvious while others are more subtle. Let’s see what makes these rascals so lovable.

1. Messy people have more tolerance for other people’s quirks

Because they spend most of their lives being harassed and singled out by “normal” people, their ability for empathy develops. How many times have you been sarcastically praised for the state your room is in? How often are you attacked for spilling something or leaving something “in the wrong place?”

This inability of other people to understand that messy people don’t perceive the world the same way can really bother them. That’s why they show a lot of understanding for people who function a bit outside of the social norm.

2. They do not stress about small things

How much stress do you think you can take? I can’t imagine what state my mind would be in if I stressed about the location of each individual sock or the stains on my carpet. Messy people tend to keep their minds on the things that really matter, and the rest they can live without.

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3. It’s cute when they clean up for you

It is the ultimate sign of respect and affection when someone who is generally messy decides to tidy up for you. Still, going back to their usual messy ways actually means that they feel comfortable around you.

4. They are more creative, and there is a reason for that

If I told you to imagine an artist, you are bound to envision them in a messy environment. This is a social stereotype of sorts which we share on a global level. The correlation between creativity and messiness is something that is attributed to many great minds of our past — like Albert Einstein, Mark Twain, and many others. A study was conducted at the University of Minnesota by psychologist Kathleen Vohs to test this theory — it yielded some interesting results.

5. They don’t mind other people being messy

We already mentioned tolerance for various quirks, but this point deserves a separate mention. It is a very interesting situation to see a normally orderly and organized person make a mess at a sloppy person’s home. Depending on their personality, they may do one of two things: start feeling awkward and shuffle for the cleaning products, or laugh it off and remember all the times the host made a mess at their place. Either way, the messy host is usually oblivious to this and really doesn’t mind the mess. They’ll take care of it — eventually.

6. It is hard to embarrass them

Messy people are used to being singled out, so being in the spotlight really doesn’t mess with their heads too much. Of course, they know the feeling of embarassment, but in most cases they overcome it and tend to deal with it quite efficiently.

7. They have the wildest things around their rooms

While it might not seem like it, messy people actually decorate their rooms — just not conventionally. There are all kinds of small mementos scattered throughout the room. Anything from concert tickets, random chocolate wrappings, umbrellas from cocktails, and all sorts of weird trinkets which were left for some reason. One day, they’ll be looking for something in particular and find something that will put a smile on their face.

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8. You feel more relaxed when you enter their home

For obvious reasons, messy people throw the best, off-the-chain, completely off-the-hook parties ever. They don’t care what happens, as long as it doesn’t include completely trashing the place, furniture and all. It can ruin the mood of a party when you see the host wincing every time somebody spills a drop from their glass.

9. It’s impressive when they can actually find stuff in that mess

Many have stood in awe watching a messy person taking very planned and calculated steps through a room that looked like it was a front in WWII, and finding each and every thing they need in a matter of minutes. This ability relies partially on memory and partially on instinct and practice. This isn’t their first rodeo.

10. They are not married to their phones

Actually, messy people usually treat their phones like more of a liability than a necessity. It is not uncommon for this nifty little device to get lost somewhere in the mess. They’re just not that interested in finding it. Chances are that a messy person won’t devote attention to their phones while having a conversation with you or stress because Android is unpatchable.

11. The fact that they will clean the whole house to get out of a boring obligation

Because it’s a common occurrence for messy and orderly people share a home, the whole process of getting messy people motivated to clean up is usually leveraged by an even worse chore. Studying works wonders, buying groceries in some cases, and walking the dog can be a great incentive as well. Still, when they really decide to clean up, they do it thoroughly.

12. They don’t mind imperfections

Messy people are rarely perfectionists and don’t seek perfection from those they interact with. Pressuring somebody to change is not something that they like to do, nor do they feel there is a need to do it.

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13. They make the neat people feel better about themselves

Unlike messy people, there are those who actually enjoy making things orderly and maintaining that order. There are people who consider that time relaxing. This doesn’t mean that messy people go out of their way to make a mess, but the fact is that this dynamic of a relationship is present in a lot of cases, and it works.

14. They can really get ready in a hurry

Forgo your organized closet and your colour-classified drawers. A key factor to being quick when you are getting ready isn’t knowing where everything is, it is being able to make decisions fast. This is how a messy person gets ready on the run:

“Hmm, this will do.”

“Ooh, I didn’t know I still had this.”

“Sniff, not too bad.”

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“Done.”

No overthinking, no panic, just pure instinct — and it really works. This can be a lifesaver in a lot of situations and makes them a bit more prepared for not-so-casual emergency situations.

15. They stick to their guns

There is a lot of social pressure to be clean and organized. Being messy is seen as an inherently bad thing. However, most messy people find a way to meet these standards but maintain a lifestyle that suits them best in their private lives.

There is a difference between being messy and being a complete slob. While we are most definitely entitled to the right to hold our own space in a state of perpetual mess, it is unkind and rude to keep it stinky, unhygienic, and — in some cases — physically dangerous to our friends and family members.

Featured photo credit: danabooo via flickr.com

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Aleksandar Ilic

Blogger, Social Media Butterfly, Guitarist

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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