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A Letter To My Daughter: You’re Way More Powerful Than You Imagined

A Letter To My Daughter: You’re Way More Powerful Than You Imagined

Dear daughter,

I drove home from work feeling like nothing I did matters. You were waiting for me on the porch, happy to have me home. Just seeing your smiling face made the rest of the tedious day become what didn’t matter. And then I realized, even as a little girl, you’re way more powerful than you could ever imagine. As you are growing up, touching more and more people’s lives in this world, it is even more important for you to understand that and embrace it.

You have the power to make other people feel like they matter

Everyone has days when they feel like they don’t matter. Sometimes, the days can stack on top of each other and nothing seems to matter. You have the power to change this mindset in others.

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Remember the time you made presents for your teachers, your bus driver, and the lady in the cafeteria? You didn’t want anyone to be left out. They all mattered to you. You showed them with kindness that they all mattered equally. You didn’t skip anyone.

You have the power to build people up or tear them down

Unhappy people like to make others unhappy, and you may see this more as you spend time with more kids. It is true even for adults. You can spend your time with these people just so you won’t be alone. You can find someone weaker or sadder and tear them down. But, you can also choose to change this.

You can change the conversation. You can find better things to talk about and use your words to build up the people around you. You can go your own way and do good things. The easiest thing in the world is to tear people down, but you have the power to build people up. I hope you make that choice, no matter what the people around you say or do.

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You have the power to make a difference

I love that trash makes you angry. I love that you love animals and nature. I will support you however I can when you want to make a difference.

You were the one that wanted us to take trash bags with us on our walks. Now, you have the whole family gathering trash and recycling it, ensuring it won’t hurt any animals and putting it in its rightful place.

You wanted us to plant flowers for the pollinators because we need more bees and butterflies in the world, so now we have a great big garden of them. You wanted to walk to the farmer’s market and buy fresh fruit and vegetables. Now we do it every Saturday. It is because of you.

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Your family is the first group of people you changed to make a difference. Take that power, go into the world and find more ways to make a difference. You have that power.

Your words, as well as your action, have power

People leave words behind them like breadcrumbs. Everywhere there are words that will be picked up by the rest of the world. We pay way too much attention to some words and little attention to others.

Don’t ever convince yourself that what you say or write doesn’t matter, even as the world is crowded with comments and commentary. Your world will be built up or torn down with the words you let inside your heart and mind. Other people’s worlds may be built up or torn down with the words that come out of your mouth. Remember to give people hope and inspiration always, and this will also give you hope and inspiration.

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Daughter, you have already taught me so much by just by being a presence in my life. I can only imagine what you could do given purpose and motivation. So with that, I just want to remind you one last time: you’re way more powerful than you realize. You can change the world in significant ways.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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