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7 Dating Habits All Mature Men Definitely Need To Leave Behind

7 Dating Habits All Mature Men Definitely Need To Leave Behind

Maturity demands an improvement in attitude and expectations. Perhaps when we were growing up we achieved certain goals by being immature. But when you’re a grown man approaching dating seriously, maturity demands that some habits just need to be thrown out the window. We want to be respectable, appealing, and the kind of person a future partner can be proud of. This is what maturity means.
When we improve our habits and mature, we are more likely to attract a great romantic relationship.

Here are 7 dating habits all mature men should definitely leave behind:

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1. Having someone talk to the person you are interested in for you

This is so lame. If you like someone you need to go and reach out to that person for yourself. Let them know your feelings and that you are willing and ready to go. It is cowardly to have a friend or someone else take that bold move for you. It isn’t just a sign of maturity to be the one to tell the other person how you feel, it is also the responsible thing to do as it gives you the best chance to make the relationship work.

2. Pretending to be who you are not

You find someone and you like them so much that you decide to pretend to be like someone else, thinking this will make a great impression. The truth is that there is no point acting quiet, serious, and careful when you are an exuberant, humorous, and impulsive person. Dates should be an opportunity for you to give the other person a heads up on who you are- and that means being genuine, real, and authentic. If you are a Christian, Muslim, or Jewish, let the other person know. You are being respectful by presenting yourself honestly and maturely.

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3. Letting your friends’ opinions determine who you date

Who you date is entirely up to you. You should know for yourself what you want from a possible partner. Rather than be indecisive about what actions you will take and inviting your friends to have a say on who you date, do the responsible thing and make decisions for yourself.

4. Discussing with others how your present relationship compares to other relationships you’ve had

Whether discussing how your relationship compares to your friend’s relationship, or how your current partner compares to past partners- making these kinds of comparisons is so lame. Every relationship is unique. Understanding this will leave you better prepared to handle the challenges that come with being in a relationship.

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5. “I will wait 3 days to call”

Perhaps this was a rule you and your friends followed when you were younger. Perhaps you feel that you have to step back and wait some time after a date to show your feelings to the other person, because you don’t want to appear needy. The thing is that following this conventional rule may leave you looking immature. If you are mature you understand that there are no rules or regulations when it comes to calling or texting someone you are really interested in romantically.

6. Ignoring someone you went on a date with because you’re not interested

You go out on a date with someone and you find out that the person doesn’t meet your standards. Instead of being honest about your feelings toward the other person you just start ignoring their calls and messages. It isn’t respectful to just grow cold on someone. Burning bridges after a date is not maturity. It is best for you to be respectful and tell the other person you are not interested. This offers them information that will help them to move forward with finding a partner, rather than being stuck speculating  about what to make out of your complete silence following the date.

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7. Secretly going through your partner’s phone

You may feel the other person is not telling you enough and getting the information you want is likely to be best achieved by going through their phone, email, or other password-protected accounts. Perhaps you did this while growing up and it gave you what you wanted to know once or twice. But maturity means showing trust, respect, and having the courage to love the other person even when you feel vulnerable.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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