Advertising
Advertising

They Acquire It All On Their Own: Why Aren’t Independent Women The Most Likeable Type?

They Acquire It All On Their Own: Why Aren’t Independent Women The Most Likeable Type?

Being independent can be a source of strength for many women. It signifies power and stability. It also means they are secure and brave. And who can deny the relevance of independent women in our society and how immense their contributions can be to our society. But people can get the wrong message about them. They may come off as arrogant and intimidating. It makes many wonder why independent women are not the most likeable people.

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” ― Marilyn Monroe

1. They have it figured out

“I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.” ― Louise Hay

Independent women have the knowledge and experience to lay claim to their autonomy. Every time they have sought to get what they want, they have also gained knowledge to use as a tool. Such knowledge gives them a voice and could be a representation of their energy and intensity.

2. They love hard work

“Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it by use.”― Ruth Gordo

Advertising

Independent women need nothing from anyone else. They have a strong work ethic and know what they want out of their work. They don’t chicken out from a challenge. Work is something that drives them to greater independence.

3. They care more about themselves than anything else

“You’re not gonna tell me who I am. I’m gonna tell you who I am.”― Nicki Minaj

They won’t be bothering themselves with other people’s business. They are concerned and engrossed in their own world, work, and intellect.

4. They are brave

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.” — Maya Angelou

This can be intimidating to someone who has just met a very independent woman. People may feel that they are cold and ruthless. But this is a way to scare away the wrong people and filter through those few people that are meant to stay in their world.

Advertising

5. They have their priorities

“A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.”― Madonna

They have goals. They have what they want. And that may be different from the norm. Yet they always have a direction and goal.

6. They can go solo

“I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them.”― Jane Austen

They prefer to be alone and appreciate solitude. They want things on their own terms. And if they needs help, they will find it.

7. They are confident

“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.”― Alison Boulter

Advertising

They believe in their abilities. They knows their strength as well. They don’t need to be concerned about what other people think about them. They have self-esteem and that is enough to keep them positive and driven.

8. They are self-sufficient

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”― Alice Walker

They are content with what they have. They don’t need to become greedy or beg for the things they don’t have. They know that if they need something, they can work for it and take pride in getting it.

9. They are stable

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” ― Coco Chanel

They are not entering relationships because they lack money or feel inferior to those who are in relationships. They are stable and solid, whether they are in a relationship or not.

Advertising

10. They are free

“I’m single because I was born that way.”― Mae West

In the long run, independent women are free and only have themselves to answer to. They are slaves to no one.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

6 Things To Do Every Day To Ensure You Stick To Your Goals How to Form Your Success Formula to Get Unstuck in Life 10 Habits Of People Who Are Highly Successful At Work 8 Reasons Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful 15 Signs Of Self-Absorbed People

Trending in Communication

1 How to Not Be Sad When It Feels Like Everything Is Going Wrong 2 The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life 3 7 Reasons Why You’re Feeling Restless and Unmotivated 4 10 Things to Do If You’re Feeling Hopeless About Your Future 5 How to Be a Good Listener (And a Better Communicator)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 19, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

Advertising

For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

Advertising

5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

“Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

Advertising

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

Advertising

Saying no the healthy way

    10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

    This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

    Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

    The Bottom Line

    Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

    Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

    More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

    Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

    Reference

    Read Next