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The Secret Of Happiness: Don’t Wait, Just Take The Chance

The Secret Of Happiness: Don’t Wait, Just Take The Chance

Lately, I’ve been hearing a new spin on the old saying, “Good things come to those who wait.” The new sentiment is that good things (like happiness) come to those who work hard and go get them. Both versions of the mantra have their merits. The original instills the idea that patience is a virtue, and not everything comes easily. The amended version clarifies the misconception that simply waiting for something good to happen is not enough; you have to work for everything you earn in life. Keep this in mind as you go through life, and understand that every moment you live is another chance you have to work for what you deserve.

1. Nothing will simply come to you

Unless you were born into an incredibly wealthy family, you’re going to have to work for everything you want in life. Unfortunately, many people have grown up with a sense of entitlement, putting hard work off until “tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.” We seem to be under the impression that one day everything we’ve ever wanted will simply appear in front of us for the taking. We have to realize that the house we grew up in didn’t grow out of the ground; our parents worked every day of their lives to make sure we had that roof over our heads. Furthermore, if we were simply handed everything on a silver platter, we’d find no fulfillment in life. Working hard may be tough, but it makes earning the things we desire much more rewarding.

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2. Risks are a necessity

No one gets anywhere staying in their comfort zone. Expanding this zone may be difficult, but it’s absolutely necessary if you want to achieve anything. You’ll never get over your fear of public speaking if you avoid classes and jobs in which you’ll have to give presentations to a large group. Avoidance is never the answer. The worst thing that can happen when you take a risk is you could fall short of your goal. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it simply means you’ve found a way that didn’t work. When you take a risk and fall short, make the most out of the negative experience by learning from your short-comings, and changing your plan of attack the next time around.

3. Rewards make work worth doing

I alluded to this before, but it’s worth reiterating: Earning a reward is much more fulfilling than simply being given it. When you’re simply handed everything in life without having to work for it, the only thing that happens is your desire for more increases. Wisdom shows us that you’ll wind up being unfulfilled no matter how much “stuff” you accumulate. When you work for what you’ve earned, you’ll discover you’re happy with what you have. And, if you do desire more, you’ll know that it will come to you through more hard work and dedication. Even if you absolutely despise your job, you can take comfort when you come home at night to all that you’ve earned with your hours of hard work. You can look around and be proud that everything you see is a direct product of your perseverance.

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4. Don’t think “What if?” — Just go for it!

We previously discussed how important it is to take risks in order to get where you want to be in life. Of course, it can be hard to take that first step if you constantly second-guess yourself. However, it is important that you don’t ever let the fear of trying hold you back.The more time you spend thinking, “What if I fail?” or “What if I do something wrong?” or “What if I look stupid in front of everyone?”, the less time you have to actually improve yourself. Not only do you waste time, but you also waste energy, as well. You’ll find that being anxious about possible negative outcomes is actually more mentally, emotionally, and physically draining than actually taking that first step and making moves toward your goal. Just dive in, and focus your energy on the task at hand.

5. It gets easier to push yourself, the more you do it

The more you push yourself, the easier it becomes to push even farther. When I started to get serious about writing as a career, I’d read some tips from established writers which included one seemingly daunting task: Write at least 1,000 words a day. Having just started out, that number was incredibly intimidating. Having written almost every day for Lifehack for the past four months, I look back at how I felt about that and laugh. For example, it’s only 10:30 in the morning, and I’ve probably already written over 2,000 words so far.  Think of the times you’ve skipped a day at the gym. How much more difficult was it to get back into the swing of things than if you had just bucked up and gone the day before, regardless of how exhausted you were? Once you dive into something, you’ll find that consistently pushing yourself is actually easier than slacking off. You’ll also find you’re much happier with yourself for sticking with it.

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6. You control your own destiny

When you go out and work for what you want, you realize that you’re completely in control of your life. Working from home has taught me that I’ll only be rewarded if I put out the effort. When people find themselves stuck in boring, hourly-wage jobs, they often don’t feel the need to go the extra mile, especially if they think there’s not much chance of getting promoted. Why put in extra effort if you get paid the same regardless? Thinking this way hinders your chance to improve not only your work situation, but also your life as a whole. You never know when a better position will open up. If you’ve spent time and effort going above and beyond the call of duty, you’ll not only have made yourself stand out, but you’ll also have gained the skills necessary to be considered a leader. You reap what you sow. Now, go and make sure you use every chance you get as a chance to excel.

Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm9.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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