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Here’s What Happy Couples Do To Keep Their Relationships Fresh

Here’s What Happy Couples Do To Keep Their Relationships Fresh

Ralph Waldo Emerson was once quoted as saying that “True Love is the residue that’s left once the excitements of love banish away.”

As the new season approaches, we tend to have hopes and dreams of advancing our lives and taking them to a new level. The question is: do we ever think of behaviors we can adapt which can lead to a fresh new start for our current relationship?

The reason why most relationships become dull is that couples abandon the duties and efforts which are essential in keeping the relationship alive. I am sure you have heard before about how couples should make New Year resolutions to keep their relationships fresh. Be honest — have you ever thought about how you can make resolutions in your relationship? If your answer is no, then it’s high time that you reassess your approach to your relationship.

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Below are some simple steps which will help you and your partner to mold your mature relationship and keep that fire burning with freshness and excitement.

Share most of your time with your partner

This may sound crazy to some football fans out there, but the truth is that sacrificing the time you spend watching football with your friends to be with your partner can really boost your relationship. Happy couples always spend most of their time doing what their partners love. Furthermore, you can decide to be more helpful to your partner through helping them in their tasks and becoming part of their successes.

Try something new together

You might have always wished to infuse your old relationship with something new but have been reluctant for a variety of reasons. The moment you adapt new ideas and relate them to your relationship, you will be able to achieve more happiness and bonding with your partner. Ensure that your relationship is fun-filled and adventurous.

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When I first met my wife, I would always spring surprises on her just to see her smile and fill her heart with love and adoration. Take your partner back to the days when the relationship was new and see them light up again.

Maintain outside relationships

It’s important to note that a couple’s relationship can either be enhanced or corrupted by outside relationships. Not all outside relationships are positive — some are bad and should be avoided at all cost.

An example of a healthy outside relationship includes spending time with other couples who are in a very strong relationship. Look for couples who have strong values and character and who are able to influence your relationship positively. Through this, you will gain insight on the importance of commitment and keeping the relationship exciting.

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At the same time, couples should choose the types of friends they hang out with. These types of friends help you to develop a social life, which is important in keeping a relationship fresh.

Try a joint project

Most of us know the story of Ken Blanchard and how he became a spiritual motivational speaker and a renowned author. Ken and his wife Marjorie decided to form a joint project by starting a company which could offer high-quality training to young investors on how to make a difference in a business platform. Through hard work and sacrifice, they managed to launch the Ken Blanchard Company, which quickly gained worldwide recognition for offering International Management training and counseling programs on leadership qualities.

Couples should create common goals which they can work on and achieve together. An example of a joint project may include a financial goal where both of you can save a certain amount of money to go on a vacation. Or, it could include saving some cash to buy something you have always wished for. Through accomplishing your goals together, you feel more like a team — something which strengthens your love bonds. Be it shopping for running shoes together or scouring trampoline reviews to find an outdoor trampoline you could both enjoy, any kind of common hobby or interest will help cement the bond between the two of you.

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Discuss your dreams and ideas

When you first met your partner, conversation was probably never lacking at the dinner table. You talked about hopes, dreams, and things you wished to achieve in the future. With time, such conversations likely vanished. It’s important to spend time discussing your dreams and the things you wish to achieve in the future.

Keep surprising your partner

Keeping the element of surprise alive is among the most basic things that most couples do to keep their relationships fresh. Here’s how: choose one day of the week to go home early carrying a small gift. Alternatively, you can decide to cook your partner’s favorite meal or book a surprise holiday getaway. It doesn’t have to be much, but nothing works as well as giving small and unexpected gifts. These small surprises help to enhance your relationship, decorating it with freshness and novelty and preventing it from getting stuck.

Let them know how much you admire them

When you first met your spouse, there were certain qualities which attracted you to them. Maybe it’s beauty, intelligence, or their ability to speak freely and intelligently. Whatever it is that drove you mad still exists. You should tell them how beautiful, handsome, intelligent, or humorous they are from time to time. This will make them feel loved, valued, and special.

Bottom line

Even though you may find these steps hard to achieve or outside of your comfort zone, they are the best cure for bringing a dull relationship back to life. Psychological studies have revealed that the most important thing in your life is your relationship. So, make it a good one.

Featured photo credit: Pedro Ribeiro Simões via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 23, 2020

6 Qualities of a Charismatic Leader

6 Qualities of a Charismatic Leader

We all know a person with a charismatic personality when we see one. They seem to radiate a certain magnetism that turns heads when they speak. They know how to command attention with not just their words, but the cadence of their voice and their body language. From celebrities to titans of industry and world leaders, charismatic people just have a certain something that draws others in.

For a long time, conventional wisdom held onto the belief that you were either born with charisma or you weren’t. Psychologists believe that charisma is a mix of nature and nurture.[1] Yes, some people are simply hardwired with more of a charismatic personality than others. The good news though is that, yes, you can learn to be more charismatic and develop the qualities of a charismatic leader.

Before we jump into what those qualities are exactly, it would help to define first what exactly charisma is.

The word is derived from Greek and means “divine gift.” (Admittedly, that doesn’t sound like something that can be learned, but let’s hold out hope.)

Charisma is steeped in a certain amount of mystery, but to boil it down, Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as “a personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure.”

It’s easy to see how “a personal magic of leadership” could be so appealing for a leader and give them a cutting edge over the competition. Having that certain “It” factor might come more innately for some than others, but all successful leaders have at least some of it—even if they learned it along the way.

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Here are the characteristics of a charismatic personality and why they’re so beneficial.

1. Adaptability

Psychology professor William von Hippel, from the University of Queensland in Australia, believes that adaptability is the number one trait that all charismatic leaders possess.

“There are clearly many qualities that enable people to be socially successful, but the fact that what works in one situation often does not work in another suggests that behavioral flexibility may be the single most important attribute for social functioning.”[2]

-von Hippel

There’s nothing charismatic about sulking when plans don’t work out exactly as expected. Instead, charismatic leaders find a way to make lemonade with the lemons they’ve been given.

This adaptability was further broken down by von Hippel into several offshoots of adaptability:

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  • Being quick-witted
  • Knowing how to handle subtle changes
  • Staying cool amid distraction

According to von Hippel, charismatic people may not always know the right answer to a tough question, but they can come up with alternative answers and choose the one that best works for the situation. They’re also in tune with what’s going on around them in a situation and can quickly modify their behavior to subtle changes to handle any conflicts that may have arisen.

Moreover, charismatic leaders are cool as cucumbers—or at least project that confidence—regardless of whatever distractions there may be. It’s this sort of adaptability that allows them to close business deals and push ahead, even when things don’t go according to plan.

2. Confidence

Trust is one of the most important things for leaders to establish with their teams. When a leader is confident and not afraid to take a bold stance, it allows others to relax a little bit and stand behind that leader because they trust them. Charismatic leaders exude confidence almost without falter.

When it’s a celebrity like Bono or Lady Gaga, they call this confidence swagger as it allows them to strut across the stage like they haven’t got a sliver of self-doubt in them. They have a certain confidence about them that can be felt throughout an entire arena.

Showing confidence isn’t always easy, but it can certainly be learned and is paramount for success. Confident leaders are always going to be those who see the glass as half-full, and this sort of optimism can be a powerful motivating tool for those they lead.

3. Vision

Charismatic leaders may have a respect for the past, but they’re not going to be stuck in it. They have a mindset for innovation and are almost always looking for ways of how things could be better. It’s this sort of forward-thinking that made somebody like Martin Luther King Jr. such a charismatic leader. He had a clear vision that he was passionate about and knew how to communicate it (more on that in a second).

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Charismatic leaders have clearly defined goals that they’re looking to achieve and combined with confidence, that can be incredibly intoxicating to people. Next to adaptability, this may be the second most important quality of a charismatic leader, and how they go about sharing their vision often results in a strong emotional response from those listening.

4. Determination

If the vision is the far off summit on the horizon, determination is that drive that keeps charismatic leaders pushing forward. If that vision is ever going to be achieved, then milestones will have to be accomplished along the way.

Take Amazon’s vision of having a zero carbon footprint by 2040, for example. To make that happen, Jeff Bezos and his team are going to need unwavering determination and hit certain goals at certain points in this timeline.

Determined leaders don’t give up when they hit roadblocks. Instead, they put their head down, adapt, and push forward. This drive to keep pushing ahead can trickle down and motivate those they’re leading to work harder at accomplishing whatever the collective goal might be.

5. Clear Communication

There’s a reason why crowds will show up in droves to hear a politician speak—the most captivating politicians know how to communicate their vision effectively in a clear manner. Those with an especially charismatic personality often have strong beliefs and can be incredibly persuasive both with their words and body language. To put it rather simply—they’re good storytellers.

Charismatic leaders draw listeners in with good posture, eye contact, and hand gestures that work to help connect their words to the audience. They articulate their words to help convey their vision and deliver their message with the same confidence, whether they’re speaking to a single individual or an audience of 10,000 people.

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This sort of clear communication is key for the formulation of new goals and in gaining the trust of those around them to follow.

6. Creativity

The economy is changing faster than ever before, and you don’t have to look very far to realize how creativity and adaptability will drive the successes of tomorrow. So, what’s this have to do with charisma?

Well, charismatic people tend to think outside the box and look for new ways of doing things. This, of course, ties into having a passion and a vision. Not only do charismatic thinkers tend to be creative people, but they also challenge the status quo and take risks to make those visions a reality.

The best managers not only think outside the box but also encourage those around them to tap into their creativity and look for better ways of doing things. A charismatic leader rises to meet the challenges that face them and view problems as opportunities for innovation.

To put into perspective just how important this quality is, a global survey of more than 1,500 CEOs from 60 countries found creativity was the most sought after attribute in a leader.[3] When leaders show that they have a creative spirit, they come across as incredibly charismatic and inspire others to follow that creative lead as well.

In Conclusion

The most charismatic leaders don’t just have a vision and know-how to effectively communicate it—they know how to adapt to the sudden changes thrown their way and still be persuasive and motivating.

The truth is, some people may be born with a little more natural charisma than others. Make no mistake about it, though—the traits of a charismatic leader can all be learned and developed.

More Tips on How to Develop a Charismatic Personality

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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