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Here’s What Happy Couples Do To Keep Their Relationships Fresh

Here’s What Happy Couples Do To Keep Their Relationships Fresh

Ralph Waldo Emerson was once quoted as saying that “True Love is the residue that’s left once the excitements of love banish away.”

As the new season approaches, we tend to have hopes and dreams of advancing our lives and taking them to a new level. The question is: do we ever think of behaviors we can adapt which can lead to a fresh new start for our current relationship?

The reason why most relationships become dull is that couples abandon the duties and efforts which are essential in keeping the relationship alive. I am sure you have heard before about how couples should make New Year resolutions to keep their relationships fresh. Be honest — have you ever thought about how you can make resolutions in your relationship? If your answer is no, then it’s high time that you reassess your approach to your relationship.

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Below are some simple steps which will help you and your partner to mold your mature relationship and keep that fire burning with freshness and excitement.

Share most of your time with your partner

This may sound crazy to some football fans out there, but the truth is that sacrificing the time you spend watching football with your friends to be with your partner can really boost your relationship. Happy couples always spend most of their time doing what their partners love. Furthermore, you can decide to be more helpful to your partner through helping them in their tasks and becoming part of their successes.

Try something new together

You might have always wished to infuse your old relationship with something new but have been reluctant for a variety of reasons. The moment you adapt new ideas and relate them to your relationship, you will be able to achieve more happiness and bonding with your partner. Ensure that your relationship is fun-filled and adventurous.

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When I first met my wife, I would always spring surprises on her just to see her smile and fill her heart with love and adoration. Take your partner back to the days when the relationship was new and see them light up again.

Maintain outside relationships

It’s important to note that a couple’s relationship can either be enhanced or corrupted by outside relationships. Not all outside relationships are positive — some are bad and should be avoided at all cost.

An example of a healthy outside relationship includes spending time with other couples who are in a very strong relationship. Look for couples who have strong values and character and who are able to influence your relationship positively. Through this, you will gain insight on the importance of commitment and keeping the relationship exciting.

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At the same time, couples should choose the types of friends they hang out with. These types of friends help you to develop a social life, which is important in keeping a relationship fresh.

Try a joint project

Most of us know the story of Ken Blanchard and how he became a spiritual motivational speaker and a renowned author. Ken and his wife Marjorie decided to form a joint project by starting a company which could offer high-quality training to young investors on how to make a difference in a business platform. Through hard work and sacrifice, they managed to launch the Ken Blanchard Company, which quickly gained worldwide recognition for offering International Management training and counseling programs on leadership qualities.

Couples should create common goals which they can work on and achieve together. An example of a joint project may include a financial goal where both of you can save a certain amount of money to go on a vacation. Or, it could include saving some cash to buy something you have always wished for. Through accomplishing your goals together, you feel more like a team — something which strengthens your love bonds. Be it shopping for running shoes together or scouring trampoline reviews to find an outdoor trampoline you could both enjoy, any kind of common hobby or interest will help cement the bond between the two of you.

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Discuss your dreams and ideas

When you first met your partner, conversation was probably never lacking at the dinner table. You talked about hopes, dreams, and things you wished to achieve in the future. With time, such conversations likely vanished. It’s important to spend time discussing your dreams and the things you wish to achieve in the future.

Keep surprising your partner

Keeping the element of surprise alive is among the most basic things that most couples do to keep their relationships fresh. Here’s how: choose one day of the week to go home early carrying a small gift. Alternatively, you can decide to cook your partner’s favorite meal or book a surprise holiday getaway. It doesn’t have to be much, but nothing works as well as giving small and unexpected gifts. These small surprises help to enhance your relationship, decorating it with freshness and novelty and preventing it from getting stuck.

Let them know how much you admire them

When you first met your spouse, there were certain qualities which attracted you to them. Maybe it’s beauty, intelligence, or their ability to speak freely and intelligently. Whatever it is that drove you mad still exists. You should tell them how beautiful, handsome, intelligent, or humorous they are from time to time. This will make them feel loved, valued, and special.

Bottom line

Even though you may find these steps hard to achieve or outside of your comfort zone, they are the best cure for bringing a dull relationship back to life. Psychological studies have revealed that the most important thing in your life is your relationship. So, make it a good one.

Featured photo credit: Pedro Ribeiro Simões via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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