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15 Things We Shouldn’t Stop Kids From Doing

15 Things We Shouldn’t Stop Kids From Doing

All children are naturally curious about any and everything the world has to offer. Kids are literally real-life “noobs” who find every new experience interesting, intriguing, and exciting. They react to positive and negative stimuli with extreme emotion because they essentially don’t know how else to react. Simply put, children live all of their experiences to the fullest, whether good or bad.

As we grow older, we remember less and less about what it was like to be a child and to be constantly amazed at the world around us. And once we have kids of our own, we start thinking that they should simply act like we do. We need to remember that children are still learning about life and everything it encompasses. And we could definitely learn a thing or two from them while we’re at it. Think twice before intervening when children do any of the following:

1. Crying

Our first instinct when a child cries is to run to them and find out what’s wrong. While it’s definitely okay to show that you care for a child, you shouldn’t try to stop them from crying altogether. Crying isn’t comfortable; if they could stop, they would. But sometimes they just need to let it out. And it definitely doesn’t help the situation if you’re standing over them demanding they tell you what the problem is over and over again.

2. Laughing

I know, who would stop a kid from laughing? Of course, laughter isn’t always appropriate under certain circumstances, and it’s important to teach your children about these situations. But like crying, laughing is an involuntary response that can’t be controlled at times. When I worked with children, I never got upset with them for finding something so funny that they couldn’t stop themselves from laughing. Isn’t life supposed to be fun? Instead, I’d ask them to leave the room to compose themselves, but there was no reason to get upset with them for catching a case of the giggles.

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3. Fooling around

Alright, so this is a little more controllable, but what’s the point of life if you’re going to take it so seriously? Don’t you remember what it was like to be a kid and so carefree that you actually had the time and energy to goof around? I’m not saying you should let your children act inappropriately, but what’s so bad about hiding in a clothes rack at Target to mess with your sister? When’s the last time you had that much fun at Target? Like I said before, maybe we could learn something from our little rascals.

4. Jumping in puddles

Watch this video, and you’ll immediately want to take your kid outside and dance in the rain. Okay, so their shoes will be wet, and you might have to wash them. I’m sorry you’re the adult, but as old Blue Eyes says, “That’s life.” This is another one of those moments that you forgot is actually fun to little kids. In their own way, they’re experimenting with their surroundings. Let them have their fun while they’re young enough for it to be socially acceptable.

5. Making a mess

Whether or not they mean to be, kids are messy little humans. But again, what’s the worst that could happen? Perhaps you’ll have to scrub the floor, do some laundry, or repaint the entire house (okay, maybe not that last one). But if your kid spills paint on her shirt while she’s creating a masterpiece for the fridge, can you really get upset with her? If they’re being careless, that’s one thing. But mistakes happen. Don’t discourage your kids from getting their hands dirty in the name of art or science. Those worms aren’t going to dig themselves up, you know.

6. Reading

You’re probably thinking, “Who would stop a kid from reading?” Sadly, I’ve heard plenty of other adults tell students to put away comic books and take out “a real book.” Okay, so they were reading, and fully engaged in their reading, and you want them to stop and read something that you consider interesting instead? What if I told you to watch wrestling instead of So You Think You Can Dance tonight? I bet you’d choose to just not watch TV at all. What do you think a kid will do if you restrict what he’s allowed to read?

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7. Playing an instrument

I’m looking at you, Homer Simpson. When kids start showing an interest in a musical instrument, parents usually feel a mix of excitement and trepidation, knowing they’ll be dealing with squeaky scales and repetitions of Hot Crossed Buns for the next month or so. While you should definitely put a limit on how late your child is up practicing his tuba, you should never discourage him from picking it up when he feels driven to practice. Even if it interferes with your after work nap time.

8. Focusing on an interest

This goes along with the last two sections. There was a popular commercial a few years ago in which a girl’s parents and teachers constantly dissuaded her from learning about science, power tools, and other so-called “manly” things. How can children ever break the mold and grow into adults that will change the world if they’re constantly being told to fit in? Just because a kid is into something you don’t think they should be into doesn’t mean you should stop them from pursuing their passion.

9. Arguing with a friend

I’m not saying you shouldn’t monitor the situation when you realize two friends are having a fight, and you should definitely never let it come to blows. But children need to learn to sort their arguments out on their own. You can certainly act as a moderator, but you should let both parties come to the realization that they both were most likely somewhat at fault, and that they can also both put their differences behind them and move on.

10. Doing homework

Seriously, who would stop a kid from completing their obligation to school? But, remember all the other things we sign our kids up for in the name of preparing them for life? “Hurry up and finish your work, you have karate and baseball practice tonight! And you can’t do it in the morning because you have choir!” Sound familiar? I know, we want our kids to experience as many things in life as possible, but we can’t let them burn out, and we certainly can’t force them to shirk one obligation in favor of another.

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11. Trying things on their own

Many kids don’t want to admit that they need help doing something. Most kids don’t think they need help, and will try to go about doing something their own way time and time again until they’re physically and mentally exhausted. I’d often see kids working on a math problem, knowing they’re doing it incorrectly, and let them finish anyway before I intervened. They learn much more by trying, failing, and trying again than by being caught before they fail in the first place. Let them scrape their knees when trying to ride a bike; it will make mastering the skill that much more rewarding for them when they finally do get it on their own.

12. Expressing themselves

Be honest: If your 13-year-old son came home with a green mohawk, how would you feel? I imagine your first thought would be, “What are people going to think if they see my son and me together?” Let kids experiment with who they are. Again, they’re new to the world, and simply trying to find their way through it. And if they simply follow in everyone else’s footsteps, they run the risk of becoming another office drone. They have their entire life to toe the line for their boss and society in general; let their voice be heard while they’re still young.

13. Being weird

As if dying your hair green isn’t weird enough. But again, let them push the limits of social boundaries. John Waters is a bit weird. Robin Williams was too. And I can’t imagine what Jim Carrey was like as a child. He was probably a nightmare for his parents and teachers. But I also bet they (at least some of the time) let him get away with some ridiculous stuff. Kids don’t have to fit any kind of mold yet; again, that’s for boring adults with boring office jobs. They’re not there yet. Let them experiment with their weirdness, and see where it gets them.

14. Playing

You should probably know by now that play is the work of children. And, ironically, when children play, most of the time they’re emulating “grown up” jobs. They play house, teacher, doctor. They build things. They dig for stuff. When you think about it, isn’t it amazing that kids find the stuff we think of as boring work-related tasks interesting and entertaining? Too often, we beat it out of them (not literally, I’d hope) by putting them in various structured activities (like I talked about before). Let them have time to play and find their true passion on their own.

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15. Growing up

This whole article was about letting kids be kids, so this part probably comes as a surprise. However, I think most parents reach a point where they realize they had forced their kid to grow up too fast, only to want them to stay young forever. They’ll always be your baby, but they won’t always be a baby. Once the time comes for them to get their license, graduate high school, and move away to college, it’s time to start treating your kids as what you’ve always prepared them to be: responsible young adults.

Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm1.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Published on April 3, 2020

How to Strengthen Family Bonds When You’re Staying at Home

How to Strengthen Family Bonds When You’re Staying at Home

Now is a perfect time to work on making some memories with your closest family members. When situations call for social distancing outside of our home, we need to do the opposite within home.

Now, more than ever, we need to engage with those living in our home. We may be together for a while, but look at it is way, it is a wonderful opportunity to create some good family memories and positive interactions together.

Staying home can be isolating, especially when we hole ourselves up in different rooms than our other family members. Make an effort to spend quality time together. Sitting in the same room on different electronic devices is not quality family time. Put down the elections, join together in one room, and do activities together.

Your family bonding becomes stronger when you spend time doing activities together. Below are 10 ideas you can do with your family and loved ones.

1. Create Photo Albums

If you are like most of the population, you probably have lots of photos and very few physical albums. My parents generation always had photo albums. I can go to my parents’ home in Florida and find at least 20 albums from the lives of my parents and my childhood that I can flip through and reminisce. Physical, tangible photo albums are always cherished.

Look back at the past five years of your life. Were there meaningful trips that you took as a family or major life events such as a Baptism, marriage, or birth of a child that happened in the past few years? Do you have photos of the event stored somewhere digitally such as social media, on your phone, or on a computer? If you do and you want to savor those memories for years to come, then you may want to think about creating some photo albums.

This is a great activity for family of all ages. You can approach the project in one of several ways. You can print the photos and put them in your own physical photo album (the kind our parents used and you can still buy), you can scrapbook, or you can create an online photo album.

Whichever choice you make, the family can be involved in the process. I like the tangible photos and traditional albums or basic (no frills) scrap-booking, as do my kids. We have albums in all three formats. Whichever method you decide to do you can involve the whole family in the creation process.

Scrap booking as a family can be fun too. It does not have to be over the top either. We do it with scrap booking paper (12 by 12 inches), photos, and bits of paper to write captions for the photos. The family uses photo safe glue to secure the photos to paper that each person selected and then we slide the pages into the clear page holders of the album. Albums are easy to create using this method and this method still allows for personalization of each page.

    To do a photo album project, I simply print out the photos that I want to use for the album. Many albums will ship printed photos directly to your home. For example, we did a National Park trip this past summer and visited seven of them in the United States over a three-week span.

    I printed all of the photos from the trip that I thought we could use for the album. Then I cut strips of colored paper. I use these strips to write a sentence of two. I usually put a strip with details on each page, but not every photo because that becomes more tedious.

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    Having everyone select and do a page or two and write the details about what the photos they selected makes it even more meaningful. For example, my son Charlie writing “This is Glacier National Park where we camped and Max got bit by gobs of ants at the dog run and we had to find a vet to help him” makes it memorable. His handwriting and the thing that captured his memory about that particular day are special. It adds his touch to the memories from the trip. Having every family member participate in putting the photos into the book and writing a few sentences for the photos that they are putting into the book helps to make it a shared family experience.

    It is also a wonderful time for revisiting the occasion that you are creating the album about. For example, doing an album as a family for a trip you all took together provides us with plenty to talk about as we go through the photos. My kids always get excited and say “look mom, remember when….” about a hundred times anytime we do an album together. The photo album activity is a bonding activity, as is the reminiscing over special time you spent together in the past.

    2. Indoor Camping with Sheet Forts

    What kid doesn’t love a good sheet fort? Sheet forts are the kind of memories that make a childhood great. If your kids don’t have any sheet fort memories, then now is the time to start making them!

    All you need are some sheets. The bigger, the better. Flat and fitted work just fine. Fitted sheets can be helpful to secure under legs of tables since they have elastic corners and are gathered. We like to use tables, chairs, and sometimes couch cushions too. You create a space using the furniture and then cover the furniture with sheets. You are essentially making indoor tents.

    My kids like to play inside their forts for hours once they are created. I help with the creation, to ensure that things don’t fall over and hurt anyone, but once that is done, I let them play. They will take books, little action figures, and their stuffed animals into their fort to play. Feel free to climb into their fort with them too! They will think you are the best parent ever!

      3. Bake or Cook Together

      Staying at home is a great opportunity to cook or bake together as a family. If you have special recipes that you would like to teach your children, now is a great time to do that.

      If you have grandma’s apple pie recipe that has been passed down for generations, it would be a nice time to make it with your children. You can use the time to talk about your grandparents, the heritage of your family, and perhaps the meaning of the recipe to you.

      After you make the special dessert or dish with your children, it will then have special meaning to them too. They will be able to recall the time that they made that special concoction with you and the memories you made from that day.

      Here’re also some ideas for you: 15 Easy Recipes for Kids That Don’t Require an Oven

      4. Play Board Games Together

      I come from a family that plays games together. Even as adults, we love to play Boggle, Scrabble, Rummikub, and a variety of card games.

      My kids have caught the game bug too. When we go camping or are home over the weekend, we will play Uno, Connect Four, Dominoes, and Memory. These board and card games are inexpensive and provide hours of entertainment. It is also a great way to bond as a family and create memories.

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      Some of my favorite memories from childhood are sitting at the kitchen table playing games with my siblings and parents.

      For very young children, you can start with games like Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders. From there, you can move onto slightly more challenging games for their minds such as Uno, Monopoly Junior, Memory, War (basic card game), and Connect Four.

      My kids started playing Candy Land at the ages of three and four. From there, they have been hooked on family game time ever since. They ask often to play together and now is a great time to teach them to play even more games. The entertainment, laughs, and memories are priceless!

      5. Put on a Show or Play

      Family talent shows, putting on a play, and putting on a musical show do not require an audience. Your family can do the show and record on your phone or other electronic device. It doesn’t need an audience other than you all to make it memorable. It is the experience of collaborating, planning, and executing the show together that make it special.

      My kids began making their own hat creations out of our various art supplies. I have been helping them in the process. We have art class daily as part of our new home school curriculum (I am one of those moms who never wanted to home school, yet I am doing it because our schools are closed indefinitely).

      Art class daily has become hat making time. Once they have made enough hats for a fashion show, I said we would put on a show and record it. It has spurred on their motivation to create elaborate works of art. They are excited about each hat and the show that is to come to fruition.

      You can find free plays and scripts on Free Drama. You can act them out as a family and record just for fun. You can also use a script from the website to create a puppet show. Each family member can then play multiple roles and it opens the door to more characters.

      If you don’t have puppets, then make some! You probably have a basket of mismatched socks like we do. It is a great way to use them at this point. Go to Pinterest for ideas on how to make sock puppets. Creating the puppets together is also a great bonding activity. Once you have your characters made, then you can act it out.

      Don’t forget to video it, because I can guarantee that your kids are going to be interested in seeing their own performance. Such a great way to make family memories and it doesn’t cost much, if anything at all!

      6. Reading Aloud

      Reading a book aloud is a great way to create some bonding time and memories. It is a much better alternative than everyone isolating themselves doing their own activities. Being pulled into the same imaginative world through a book creates a shared experiences.

      I remember reading The Old Man and the Sea to my mom when we were on a car trip when I was a kid. I recall talking about the premise of the book and our opinions about it. It obviously left an impression on me, as I remember this over 25 years later.

      I have read aloud books to my kids too. The first chapter book we read aloud together was Charlotte’s Web. After we read the book together, we then watched the movie. It is sweet how my kids will still point on the book or movie if we see it somewhere in public. They will say “remember when we read the book together and watched the movie?” They say it with such sweetness and innocent pleasure, it is a good reminder that the simple things in life are sometimes the best.

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      Some other good books that we have read aloud together that my kids personally enjoyed were The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, The Secret Garden, and Little Women. I know several friends that have read the Harry Potter series with their children who are slightly older than my six and eight year old children.

      Medium shares a list of 20 great books to read aloud with your kids. Their list is helpful because it has descriptions along with recommended ages for each book.

      If you can’t get out of the house to go to the library, you should look into the digital software that your library utilizes. Visit your local library’s website to find out what apps you will need for you to borrow from their digital library.

      Our library offers a multitude of free e-book downloads. You borrow the materials much like you would a physical book. Usually, the downloads can be kept for 2-3 weeks at a time, depending on your library rules. They also have audible books available for download from many libraries as well. For example, our local library subscribes to Cloud Library. To use it, I simply downloaded the app and entered my library card information requested from the app. I was instantly given access to thousands of audible books free!

      7. Plant a Garden

      This tip only applies if you have a yard, however there are options for creating patio gardens and indoor gardens too. Planting a garden and teaching your child how to tend to vegetables is a wonderful bonding opportunity. You are teaching them real life skills, you will have real food to eat from your own garden, and you are creating memories that will last a lifetime.

      If you ask a person if they had a garden when they were a kid, everyone knows the answer. It is not something you have to think to hard about. Why? Because gardening is an experience. Why not experience it with your family too?

      If you don’t know much about gardening, then you can learn with your child as you go through the process. Here is an article from Bonnie Plants on how to plant a garden.

      If you don’t want to leave your home, then you can order gardening supplies online like I did. Lowe’s dropped off our raised garden bed kit on my doorstep and I ordered a variety of seeds from Amazon. Just look online at the garden stores that are closest to you and see what they ship to doorstep if you don’t want to leave the house.

      8. Host Your Own Family Party

      Just because you are home and can’t have a big party with lots of friends doesn’t mean you can’t still have a party. A party with your family is fun if you decide to make it fun.

      Pick a theme to really make it an event. An 80’s themed dance party is sure to get the whole family laughing and smiling. Pull out your best 80’s looking clothing, rat your hair to get that special 80’s look, put on some 1980’s tunes, and teach your kids some dance moves from the 80’s.

      Having a dance party doesn’t require many people. A party of two is still a party! Make some memories and perhaps show your kids what things were like when you were a kid. They will certainly remember an 80’s themed dance party for many years to come.

      Weekends spent at home don’t mean that they can’t be fun. Make the weekend special even if you have to be home. For example, Friday can be family movie night or family game night. Then Saturday night can be your 80’s dance party. Let your creativity go to work and if you need a few ideas check out this blog article that has 32 Party Theme Ideas .

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      9. Learn an Instrument Together

      No time better than the present to start learning to play that instrument you have always wanted to play.

      Have you always wanted to play the guitar? Then, look online for a basic learning guitar that isn’t expensive, yet has good reviews. We did that for my daughter and purchased a decent quality ukulele from Amazon that was intended for beginners while still having a quality sound (it wasn’t some trinket from a tourist destination that wouldn’t hold a tune.)

      We found lessons online from an instructor who would conduct lessons one on one using Skype. Many instructors use this technology or other free software that allows quality video communications from their home to yours.

      The website we happened to use to find an instructor was TakeLessons.com. You can find instructors that will teach anything from drums to cello to saxophone. Prices vary too. You pick your instructor from their pool of instructors available. This website is basically a service that connects people with talent (some with really good music education too) who can teach to students who are looking to learn.

      Learning to play an instrument together and you are creating memories together! You are also learning a new skill that you can enjoy for years to come. Playing music together is good for the mind and soul!

      The TakeLessons.com website also has language lessons. You can learn a new language as a family. All from the comfort of your own home. I am sure there are many different website that offer lessons on learning another language. Do your research and compare prices before committing to anything.

      10. Plan Future Travels

      While you are learning a new language you can begin planning future vacations. You can do a family meeting and discuss where you would like to go and why.

      It would be even better to have each child research where they would like to take a trip. Each child and/or family member can present a pitch on why your family should travel to that location in the future. They can use their research to tell about the area such as its historical value, recreational features, and the learning experiences that can be had from such travels.

      This doesn’t mean you need to book any travels. It more about learning and finding hope in the future. If we can’t plan for the future, then there is no hope. Make mental plans now, as a family, for what you want to do and where you want to travel someday.

      Make Memories Today!

      There is no time better than the present to start making memories together and bonding as a family. In these times when many people are having to stay home for extended periods of time, it is a great opportunity to bond and connect as a family.

      You have a captive audience with your children at home. Don’t miss out on this time by holing up in separate rooms doing your own activities. Make it a point to chose group activities and engage your family during this time at home.

      Every day alive is a blessing. Every day having your family is blessing. Don’t take your blessings for granted. Love on them and create great memories in spite of the circumstances.

      Featured photo credit: Marisa Howenstine via unsplash.com

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