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10 Life Lessons 30-Somethings Always Forget

10 Life Lessons 30-Somethings Always Forget

You’ve hit the big Three-Oh, and perhaps then some. You probably have your priorities straight; your career, finances, home, and relationships are (for the most part) sorted out and regular. You may even be happy with your life as it is – but that doesn’t mean you have life totally figured out.

The 30s come to everyone – whether you want them to or not – and usually some degree of stability and contentment comes with them. However, adaptation to your newfound secure lifestyle may dissolve memories of experiences long past. Those diverse experiences allowed you to better understand the people and world around you, and thus they remain abundantly important even as you transition into a calmer lifestyle. To make sure you remain as mindful as possible as you survive your 30s (and beyond), here are the top nine life lessons most often forgotten by 30-somethings.

1. The Feeling of Being Lost

“I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.” – Michel de Montaigne

For the first 10 years or so, being an adult is utterly terrifying. People never stop asking you who you are and what you want to be, but no matter how hard you try, you can never generate a satisfying answer. Without direction, you can feel lost and alone. Yet, as scary as that sensation is, you also feel slightly exhilarated because you are completely open to new opportunities.

2. The Variety of Dreams

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

You may have found success and stability in any number of ways, but your path certainly isn’t the only one that leads to a happy life. Dreams are as unique as the people who hold them, and you shouldn’t chastise anyone – especially anyone younger than you – for harboring a dream that differs from your reality.

3. The Importance of Play

“A little nonsense, now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” – Roald Dahl

You probably tell yourself that you don’t have time to play (i.e. to engage in purposeless, pleasurable fun) but the truth is you have replaced valuable active play with more passive activities, like watching television. Research shows that play is as important for adults as for kids, so you should start making play a bigger part of your life.

4. The Pleasure of New Experiences

“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.” – Paulo Coelho

To young people, it seems that every experience is something new and exciting. Yet, once you reach your 30s, new experiences are harder to find – which makes them less enjoyable to pursue. Still, even the smallest new experience can bring pleasure that is well worth the cost; even signing up for one of the best rewards credit cards may lead you to a thrilling experience.

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5. The Reasons to Party

“I want to rock and roll all night and party every day.” – KISS

When you hit 30, your body seems immediately less amenable to partying hard. The cheap drinks don’t taste as good, the loud music leaves your ears buzzing all night, and the hangovers linger on for days. Unfortunately, 30-somethings have forgotten the catharsis and celebration that only parties provide – even if they aren’t all-out ragers.

6. The Dangers of Bullying

“Not everyone has been a bully or the victim of bullies, but everyone has seen bullying, and seeing it, has responded to it by joining in or objecting, by laughing or keeping silent, by feeling disgusted or feeling interested.” – Octavia Butler

It seems that kids get lectured every semester on the importance of treating their peers with positivity and respect, but after high school, adults receive no such reminders. Bullying happens just as often in the adult world, but most 30-somethings choose to see bullying as something else, including humor. However, putting someone else down is just as hurtful after 30 as it is under 10, and you should strive to make everyone you meet feel valued.

7. The Brilliance of Innocence

“Innocence is one of the most exciting things in the world.” – Eartha Kitt

After years of failures and successes, you probably have established a standard operating procedure at home as well as at work. Your experience has ingrained in you a certain way of doing things. However, young people who have no such experience, when confronted with the same problems, have the opportunity to find new, creative solutions that may just be better than your tried-and-tired methods. Innocence is not always a bad quality.

8. The Burn of Curiosity

“Curiosity is the lust of the mind.” – Thomas Hobbes

Long out of academia, most 30-somethings only demonstrate mild inquisitiveness in the world around them. You might watch a documentary now and again, but rarely do adults outside of college feel intense desire to know more. Yet, curiosity is a powerful, transformative emotion, and developing a thirst for knowledge (and slaking it) will make you a better person.

9. The Joy of Simple Touches

“I wanna hold your hand.” – The Beatles

When you were a teenager, any physical interaction with your crush felt breathtakingly taboo. Young people delight in the smallest, simplest touches: holding hands, hugging, kissing. Unfortunately, older people often forget how these touches can bring joy. You should strive to incorporate more positive touches in your days.

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10. The Relief of Getting Help

“You will find that help will always be given to those who ask for it.” – JK Rowling

Even in your 30s, there are times when you will feel uncertain, but as true adults, many people forget that seeking help is an option – or else they refuse to accept help out of pride or fear. Yet, receiving aid when you truly need it is one of the most satisfying sensations: You solve your problem, learn more about the world, and, perhaps, make a valuable friend.

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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