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10 Life Lessons 30-Somethings Always Forget

10 Life Lessons 30-Somethings Always Forget

You’ve hit the big Three-Oh, and perhaps then some. You probably have your priorities straight; your career, finances, home, and relationships are (for the most part) sorted out and regular. You may even be happy with your life as it is – but that doesn’t mean you have life totally figured out.

The 30s come to everyone – whether you want them to or not – and usually some degree of stability and contentment comes with them. However, adaptation to your newfound secure lifestyle may dissolve memories of experiences long past. Those diverse experiences allowed you to better understand the people and world around you, and thus they remain abundantly important even as you transition into a calmer lifestyle. To make sure you remain as mindful as possible as you survive your 30s (and beyond), here are the top nine life lessons most often forgotten by 30-somethings.

1. The Feeling of Being Lost

“I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.” – Michel de Montaigne

For the first 10 years or so, being an adult is utterly terrifying. People never stop asking you who you are and what you want to be, but no matter how hard you try, you can never generate a satisfying answer. Without direction, you can feel lost and alone. Yet, as scary as that sensation is, you also feel slightly exhilarated because you are completely open to new opportunities.

2. The Variety of Dreams

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

You may have found success and stability in any number of ways, but your path certainly isn’t the only one that leads to a happy life. Dreams are as unique as the people who hold them, and you shouldn’t chastise anyone – especially anyone younger than you – for harboring a dream that differs from your reality.

3. The Importance of Play

“A little nonsense, now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” – Roald Dahl

You probably tell yourself that you don’t have time to play (i.e. to engage in purposeless, pleasurable fun) but the truth is you have replaced valuable active play with more passive activities, like watching television. Research shows that play is as important for adults as for kids, so you should start making play a bigger part of your life.

4. The Pleasure of New Experiences

“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.” – Paulo Coelho

To young people, it seems that every experience is something new and exciting. Yet, once you reach your 30s, new experiences are harder to find – which makes them less enjoyable to pursue. Still, even the smallest new experience can bring pleasure that is well worth the cost; even signing up for one of the best rewards credit cards may lead you to a thrilling experience.

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5. The Reasons to Party

“I want to rock and roll all night and party every day.” – KISS

When you hit 30, your body seems immediately less amenable to partying hard. The cheap drinks don’t taste as good, the loud music leaves your ears buzzing all night, and the hangovers linger on for days. Unfortunately, 30-somethings have forgotten the catharsis and celebration that only parties provide – even if they aren’t all-out ragers.

6. The Dangers of Bullying

“Not everyone has been a bully or the victim of bullies, but everyone has seen bullying, and seeing it, has responded to it by joining in or objecting, by laughing or keeping silent, by feeling disgusted or feeling interested.” – Octavia Butler

It seems that kids get lectured every semester on the importance of treating their peers with positivity and respect, but after high school, adults receive no such reminders. Bullying happens just as often in the adult world, but most 30-somethings choose to see bullying as something else, including humor. However, putting someone else down is just as hurtful after 30 as it is under 10, and you should strive to make everyone you meet feel valued.

7. The Brilliance of Innocence

“Innocence is one of the most exciting things in the world.” – Eartha Kitt

After years of failures and successes, you probably have established a standard operating procedure at home as well as at work. Your experience has ingrained in you a certain way of doing things. However, young people who have no such experience, when confronted with the same problems, have the opportunity to find new, creative solutions that may just be better than your tried-and-tired methods. Innocence is not always a bad quality.

8. The Burn of Curiosity

“Curiosity is the lust of the mind.” – Thomas Hobbes

Long out of academia, most 30-somethings only demonstrate mild inquisitiveness in the world around them. You might watch a documentary now and again, but rarely do adults outside of college feel intense desire to know more. Yet, curiosity is a powerful, transformative emotion, and developing a thirst for knowledge (and slaking it) will make you a better person.

9. The Joy of Simple Touches

“I wanna hold your hand.” – The Beatles

When you were a teenager, any physical interaction with your crush felt breathtakingly taboo. Young people delight in the smallest, simplest touches: holding hands, hugging, kissing. Unfortunately, older people often forget how these touches can bring joy. You should strive to incorporate more positive touches in your days.

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10. The Relief of Getting Help

“You will find that help will always be given to those who ask for it.” – JK Rowling

Even in your 30s, there are times when you will feel uncertain, but as true adults, many people forget that seeking help is an option – or else they refuse to accept help out of pride or fear. Yet, receiving aid when you truly need it is one of the most satisfying sensations: You solve your problem, learn more about the world, and, perhaps, make a valuable friend.

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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