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10 Life Lessons 30-Somethings Always Forget

10 Life Lessons 30-Somethings Always Forget

You’ve hit the big Three-Oh, and perhaps then some. You probably have your priorities straight; your career, finances, home, and relationships are (for the most part) sorted out and regular. You may even be happy with your life as it is – but that doesn’t mean you have life totally figured out.

The 30s come to everyone – whether you want them to or not – and usually some degree of stability and contentment comes with them. However, adaptation to your newfound secure lifestyle may dissolve memories of experiences long past. Those diverse experiences allowed you to better understand the people and world around you, and thus they remain abundantly important even as you transition into a calmer lifestyle. To make sure you remain as mindful as possible as you survive your 30s (and beyond), here are the top nine life lessons most often forgotten by 30-somethings.

1. The Feeling of Being Lost

“I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.” – Michel de Montaigne

For the first 10 years or so, being an adult is utterly terrifying. People never stop asking you who you are and what you want to be, but no matter how hard you try, you can never generate a satisfying answer. Without direction, you can feel lost and alone. Yet, as scary as that sensation is, you also feel slightly exhilarated because you are completely open to new opportunities.

2. The Variety of Dreams

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

You may have found success and stability in any number of ways, but your path certainly isn’t the only one that leads to a happy life. Dreams are as unique as the people who hold them, and you shouldn’t chastise anyone – especially anyone younger than you – for harboring a dream that differs from your reality.

3. The Importance of Play

“A little nonsense, now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” – Roald Dahl

You probably tell yourself that you don’t have time to play (i.e. to engage in purposeless, pleasurable fun) but the truth is you have replaced valuable active play with more passive activities, like watching television. Research shows that play is as important for adults as for kids, so you should start making play a bigger part of your life.

4. The Pleasure of New Experiences

“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.” – Paulo Coelho

To young people, it seems that every experience is something new and exciting. Yet, once you reach your 30s, new experiences are harder to find – which makes them less enjoyable to pursue. Still, even the smallest new experience can bring pleasure that is well worth the cost; even signing up for one of the best rewards credit cards may lead you to a thrilling experience.

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5. The Reasons to Party

“I want to rock and roll all night and party every day.” – KISS

When you hit 30, your body seems immediately less amenable to partying hard. The cheap drinks don’t taste as good, the loud music leaves your ears buzzing all night, and the hangovers linger on for days. Unfortunately, 30-somethings have forgotten the catharsis and celebration that only parties provide – even if they aren’t all-out ragers.

6. The Dangers of Bullying

“Not everyone has been a bully or the victim of bullies, but everyone has seen bullying, and seeing it, has responded to it by joining in or objecting, by laughing or keeping silent, by feeling disgusted or feeling interested.” – Octavia Butler

It seems that kids get lectured every semester on the importance of treating their peers with positivity and respect, but after high school, adults receive no such reminders. Bullying happens just as often in the adult world, but most 30-somethings choose to see bullying as something else, including humor. However, putting someone else down is just as hurtful after 30 as it is under 10, and you should strive to make everyone you meet feel valued.

7. The Brilliance of Innocence

“Innocence is one of the most exciting things in the world.” – Eartha Kitt

After years of failures and successes, you probably have established a standard operating procedure at home as well as at work. Your experience has ingrained in you a certain way of doing things. However, young people who have no such experience, when confronted with the same problems, have the opportunity to find new, creative solutions that may just be better than your tried-and-tired methods. Innocence is not always a bad quality.

8. The Burn of Curiosity

“Curiosity is the lust of the mind.” – Thomas Hobbes

Long out of academia, most 30-somethings only demonstrate mild inquisitiveness in the world around them. You might watch a documentary now and again, but rarely do adults outside of college feel intense desire to know more. Yet, curiosity is a powerful, transformative emotion, and developing a thirst for knowledge (and slaking it) will make you a better person.

9. The Joy of Simple Touches

“I wanna hold your hand.” – The Beatles

When you were a teenager, any physical interaction with your crush felt breathtakingly taboo. Young people delight in the smallest, simplest touches: holding hands, hugging, kissing. Unfortunately, older people often forget how these touches can bring joy. You should strive to incorporate more positive touches in your days.

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10. The Relief of Getting Help

“You will find that help will always be given to those who ask for it.” – JK Rowling

Even in your 30s, there are times when you will feel uncertain, but as true adults, many people forget that seeking help is an option – or else they refuse to accept help out of pride or fear. Yet, receiving aid when you truly need it is one of the most satisfying sensations: You solve your problem, learn more about the world, and, perhaps, make a valuable friend.

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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