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10 Mind-Blowing TED Talks On How To Be Confident, Gorgeous- And A Better Person

10 Mind-Blowing TED Talks On How To Be Confident, Gorgeous- And A Better Person

1. Your Body Language Influences the Way You Feel

In this video, social Psychologist Amy Cuddy discusses research that shows how body language shapes your reality. Our posture and nonverbal communication not only influences how others perceive us – they actually change our body chemistry. Controlling your posture and training yourself in ‘power posing’ significantly increase your chances of success. You’ll not only seem confident, but actually be more confident! Try her tips and see for yourself.

2. Love What You Do


In this funny and audacious talk, Larry Smith, a professor of economics at the University of Waterloo in Canada, explains why you will fail to get a great career. He bluntly reveals the absurd excuses provided by people who are afraid to look for and pursue their true passions. In Smith’s words, “Wasted talent is a waste I cannot stand.”

3. Trust Your Feelings

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In this video, brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor describes her experience of a massive stroke. Because she is a scientist with a vast knowledge of how the human brain works, she was able to observe her loss of body functions: speech, motion, and logical thinking. After losing touch with her rational mind, Jill experienced the ‘right-side’ brain- the purely emotional part of her brain- which she describes in her talk. It’s a fascinating story!

4. You Can Be Happy, No Matter What Life Circumstances You Face

Dan Gilbert, Harvard psychologist and author of Stumbling on Happiness, explains why most of us do badly in our lifelong pursuit of happiness. In his talk, he uses clinical research from psychology and neuroscience to prove we can be happy – even if everything goes totally wrong. He also says that getting things you want can give you exactly the same amount of happiness as not getting them at all. Check out his advice on how you can use the “psychological immune system” inside your brain to create your own happiness.

5. Embrace Your Vulnerabilities

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Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, offers deep insights from her 10 years of study into human emotions in this talk. She shares her personal quest to explain that embracing your vulnerabilities is the key to finding inner peace. In a funny way, she explains why accepting your imperfections, loving with your whole heart, practicing gratitude, not being afraid to apologize for your mistakes, and believing that you are enough are the major components of creating a better humanity.

6. Confidence Stems From the Belief That What You Do Is Right

Dr. Ivan Joseph, Athletic Director and Head Coach of the Ryerson University Varsity Soccer team explains in this talk why confidence is the most important skill in life. You need to practice confidence and be aware that you’re good at what you do. With this belief (and persistence), you can achieve anything. Joseph demonstrates the importance of self-affirmation, interpreting reality correctly, and accepting feedback positively.

7. Looks Aren’t Everything

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Cameron Russell, a gorgeous model, gives an honest talk about how superficial physical appearance is and how easily it can be transformed. She says that everyone is just a human being with their own struggles, whether you’re a model who won the “genetic lottery” or an obese man going bald. Everyone has to learn how not to feel judged. You should not feel overwhelmed by interactions with people who seem more attractive or powerful than you because every single person in the world has their own insecurities.

8. You Are What You Eat

Dr. Terry Wahls, a clinical professor of medicine at the University of Iowa, discussed how she used the lessons she learned about cells to cure her multiple sclerosis. She shows how she used her diet to help her deal with multiple sclerosis, which had led her to using a wheelchair. In her talk, she shows the importance of eating real, unprocessed foods and getting more of the vitamins, minerals, and essential fats our mitochondria need to thrive. In the talk she also discusses why she opposes the sugary, white flour-based products that fatigue us instead of giving us the energy to live.

9. Emotional Hygiene Is Essential

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Psychologist Guy Winch explains in this talk how neglected emotional pain can dramatically influence our happiness, success, and life expectancy. He explains that people go to the doctor when they experience certain types of pain, but neglect their emotional states (even though these can lead to serious medical conditions). Winch shows that changing your responses to failure, battling your negative thoughts, taking action when you feel lonely, and practicing emotional hygiene should be the start of your quest to reach your highest potential!

10. You’re the Only Person Who Can Define Yourself

Lizzie Velasquez, a 26-year-old motivational coach and the author of 3 books, was born with a rare disease which makes it impossible for her body to create fat. She describes the day when (as a 17-year-old girl) she discovered a YouTube video with 4 million views and thousands of mean comments naming her the “World’s Ugliest Woman.” In her talk, Velasquez gives her honest and powerful opinions on why you are the only person with the power to define who you really are.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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