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25 Things To Do Before 30 That Will Make Your Remaining Life Better

25 Things To Do Before 30 That Will Make Your Remaining Life Better

Your teens and 20s are like training wheels on an adult bike. However, once you hit 30, the training wheels are off. Hopefully, you’ll have fallen off and scratched your knees enough times to learn from your mistakes before 30, so your remaining life will be better. Most of you have had your hearts broken, made a few bad choices, and had your parents bail you out of financial bind (or two). Your 20s are a time to push boundaries, be a little irresponsible, and get to know yourself in the process. By the time your turn 30, you should know who you are and how far you’ve come.

Practice these tips before you hit 30, and it will make the rest of your life somewhere you’ll definitely want to be.

1. Have No Regrets

Your 20s are for making mistakes and learning from them. There’s no need for regrets because if you’ve reflected and learned from what you did there is no reason why you would do it again after 30.

2. Understand There is No Failure, Only Feedback

All the greatest achievers of our time have failed, failed, and failed again. The difference is that they understand the value of failing. Achievers see it as an opportunity to brush themselves off and try again. Michael Jordan said, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

3. Love Who You Are

Take care of yourself and be proud of who you are. There are always opportunities to grow and change, but let it be out of love and not out of hate.

4. Travel Somewhere That Will Definitely Get You Out of Your Comfort Zone

You can often forget how lucky you are when you’re constantly surrounded by comfort. If you travel somewhere that doesn’t have first-world conveniences before you’re 30, you can begin to truly appreciate what you have and where you were born.

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5. Take Time for Yourself

You need to take time for yourself no matter how extroverted or social you are. We all need time to reflect and recharge, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

6. Find a Job that Makes You Happy

You don’t want to be stuck at a job that makes you miserable at 30. Stress and anxiety caused by a negative workplace can create serious health problems down the track. Think about what makes you feel good and how you can translate that into a career. Making money is another bonus.

7. Do Something that Contributes to the Greater Good

When you give back, you fee like you are part of something bigger than yourself — and that feels really good.

8. Be Okay With Not Knowing Everything

You don’t know everything and you never will. By letting go of being right all of the time, you allow yourself to be more open, honest, and ready to learn something new everyday.

9. Look Forward to 30

Thirty means more opportunity, self-awareness, and wisdom. Bring it on!

10. Accept Your Parents and Appreciate What They’ve Done for You

Your parents did the best they could. Once you appreciate them and accept them for who they are, your relationship will change from parent-child to peer. You may not agree with the choices they make or made, but it doesn’t matter because you have your own choices to make.

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11. Learn From the Mistakes You Made in Your Teens and 20s

Your teenage years and your 20s learn from your mistakes, hopefully without any major repercussions. Your parents bailed you out of that speeding ticket or paid for that phone you dropped in the toilet. However, once you hit 30 those responsibilities are solely your own. Be certain to learn from your earlier mistakes and be responsible in the future.

12. Be Grateful For the Life You’ve Led So Far

Gratitude is the appreciation for what you have. The more grateful you are for your past experiences, the more happiness you’ll have in your future life.

13. Anything Worth Having is Hard Work

You have to work to make things happen. You won’t be given things on a silver platter. Life is hard. Once you accept that, you can move on and start figuring out how to work through it.

14. Don’t Feel Rushed to Settle Down, Get Married and Have Kids

Life isn’t as short as they say. You have plenty of time before 30 to travel, explore, and experience life before you start the next chapter of your life.

15. Save Your Money

You spent your allowance on expensive shoes or on that new piece of technology, not really thinking about the future. However, you’ll be paying back student loans and your mortgage in no time, so start saving money now to set yourself up for the future.

16. Surround Yourself With People Who Make You Feel Good

When you were younger you might have hung out wit the popular kids or tried to get involved with groups that were seen as “cool.” When you’re older, hanging with the cool kids doesn’t matter anymore. It’s about surrounding yourself with people who accept you for who you are and help make you a better person.

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17. Learn to Control the Voice in Your Head

The older you get, the more you’re berated with society’s pressures of what clothes to wear, what car to drive, and what career to have; which can all fuel the ego and create self-doubt. Be kind to yourself and know that you are good enough, no matter what.

18. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Just because you’re growing up doesn’t mean you should stop playing. Play is an important part of our human existence. We’re very social creatures. Dr. Stuart Brown (from the National Institute of Play) compares play to oxygen. Brown says, “It’s all around us, yet goes mostly unnoticed or unappreciated until it is missing.” This might seem surprising until you consider everything that constitutes “play. Play is: art, books, movies, music, comedy, flirting, and daydreaming,

19. Take Everyday as an Opportunity to Become a Better Person

“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.” – Anonymous

20. Be Aware that You Can’t Change Anyone

You might get frustrated by a friend, partner, or family member because they aren’t doing what you think is best for them. You have to realise that you can’t change anyone — you can only change yourself. Changing the way you respond or behave can shed new light on any situation, despite the other person’s actions.

21. Talk Less and Listen More

You might have a lot to say and want to share it with the world, but if you talk less and listen more you will hear things you might have never heard. You could end up connecting with someone you might have never connected with otherwise.

22. Don’t Make it About You

The Buddha said, “We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.” I would definitely like joy as a shadow, wouldn’t you?

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23. Slow Down

When you’re in your 20s it seems like everything is going a million miles a minute. Take time to slow down and be aware of your surroundings. Incorporating a mindfulness practice into your life is beneficial to your health and happiness. Check out Smiling Mind for more information about bringing mindfulness to your everyday.

24. Take Care of Yourself Emotionally, Spiritually, and Physically

Eating healthy, exercising, and looking after yourself on an emotional and spiritual level through meditation, yoga, or prayer will inevitably set the tone for a more balanced life after 30. A life of gratitude and understanding is certainly a life worth living.

25. “Dance Like There’s Nobody Watching, Love Like You’ll Never Be Hurt, Sing Like There’s Nobody Listening, and Live Like it’s Heaven On Earth”

This quote from William W. Purkey (educational author) says it all.

Featured photo credit: Girl with sunglasses in Bed via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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