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25 Things To Do Before 30 That Will Make Your Remaining Life Better

25 Things To Do Before 30 That Will Make Your Remaining Life Better

Your teens and 20s are like training wheels on an adult bike. However, once you hit 30, the training wheels are off. Hopefully, you’ll have fallen off and scratched your knees enough times to learn from your mistakes before 30, so your remaining life will be better. Most of you have had your hearts broken, made a few bad choices, and had your parents bail you out of financial bind (or two). Your 20s are a time to push boundaries, be a little irresponsible, and get to know yourself in the process. By the time your turn 30, you should know who you are and how far you’ve come.

Practice these tips before you hit 30, and it will make the rest of your life somewhere you’ll definitely want to be.

1. Have No Regrets

Your 20s are for making mistakes and learning from them. There’s no need for regrets because if you’ve reflected and learned from what you did there is no reason why you would do it again after 30.

2. Understand There is No Failure, Only Feedback

All the greatest achievers of our time have failed, failed, and failed again. The difference is that they understand the value of failing. Achievers see it as an opportunity to brush themselves off and try again. Michael Jordan said, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

3. Love Who You Are

Take care of yourself and be proud of who you are. There are always opportunities to grow and change, but let it be out of love and not out of hate.

4. Travel Somewhere That Will Definitely Get You Out of Your Comfort Zone

You can often forget how lucky you are when you’re constantly surrounded by comfort. If you travel somewhere that doesn’t have first-world conveniences before you’re 30, you can begin to truly appreciate what you have and where you were born.

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5. Take Time for Yourself

You need to take time for yourself no matter how extroverted or social you are. We all need time to reflect and recharge, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

6. Find a Job that Makes You Happy

You don’t want to be stuck at a job that makes you miserable at 30. Stress and anxiety caused by a negative workplace can create serious health problems down the track. Think about what makes you feel good and how you can translate that into a career. Making money is another bonus.

7. Do Something that Contributes to the Greater Good

When you give back, you fee like you are part of something bigger than yourself — and that feels really good.

8. Be Okay With Not Knowing Everything

You don’t know everything and you never will. By letting go of being right all of the time, you allow yourself to be more open, honest, and ready to learn something new everyday.

9. Look Forward to 30

Thirty means more opportunity, self-awareness, and wisdom. Bring it on!

10. Accept Your Parents and Appreciate What They’ve Done for You

Your parents did the best they could. Once you appreciate them and accept them for who they are, your relationship will change from parent-child to peer. You may not agree with the choices they make or made, but it doesn’t matter because you have your own choices to make.

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11. Learn From the Mistakes You Made in Your Teens and 20s

Your teenage years and your 20s learn from your mistakes, hopefully without any major repercussions. Your parents bailed you out of that speeding ticket or paid for that phone you dropped in the toilet. However, once you hit 30 those responsibilities are solely your own. Be certain to learn from your earlier mistakes and be responsible in the future.

12. Be Grateful For the Life You’ve Led So Far

Gratitude is the appreciation for what you have. The more grateful you are for your past experiences, the more happiness you’ll have in your future life.

13. Anything Worth Having is Hard Work

You have to work to make things happen. You won’t be given things on a silver platter. Life is hard. Once you accept that, you can move on and start figuring out how to work through it.

14. Don’t Feel Rushed to Settle Down, Get Married and Have Kids

Life isn’t as short as they say. You have plenty of time before 30 to travel, explore, and experience life before you start the next chapter of your life.

15. Save Your Money

You spent your allowance on expensive shoes or on that new piece of technology, not really thinking about the future. However, you’ll be paying back student loans and your mortgage in no time, so start saving money now to set yourself up for the future.

16. Surround Yourself With People Who Make You Feel Good

When you were younger you might have hung out wit the popular kids or tried to get involved with groups that were seen as “cool.” When you’re older, hanging with the cool kids doesn’t matter anymore. It’s about surrounding yourself with people who accept you for who you are and help make you a better person.

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17. Learn to Control the Voice in Your Head

The older you get, the more you’re berated with society’s pressures of what clothes to wear, what car to drive, and what career to have; which can all fuel the ego and create self-doubt. Be kind to yourself and know that you are good enough, no matter what.

18. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Just because you’re growing up doesn’t mean you should stop playing. Play is an important part of our human existence. We’re very social creatures. Dr. Stuart Brown (from the National Institute of Play) compares play to oxygen. Brown says, “It’s all around us, yet goes mostly unnoticed or unappreciated until it is missing.” This might seem surprising until you consider everything that constitutes “play. Play is: art, books, movies, music, comedy, flirting, and daydreaming,

19. Take Everyday as an Opportunity to Become a Better Person

“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.” – Anonymous

20. Be Aware that You Can’t Change Anyone

You might get frustrated by a friend, partner, or family member because they aren’t doing what you think is best for them. You have to realise that you can’t change anyone — you can only change yourself. Changing the way you respond or behave can shed new light on any situation, despite the other person’s actions.

21. Talk Less and Listen More

You might have a lot to say and want to share it with the world, but if you talk less and listen more you will hear things you might have never heard. You could end up connecting with someone you might have never connected with otherwise.

22. Don’t Make it About You

The Buddha said, “We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.” I would definitely like joy as a shadow, wouldn’t you?

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23. Slow Down

When you’re in your 20s it seems like everything is going a million miles a minute. Take time to slow down and be aware of your surroundings. Incorporating a mindfulness practice into your life is beneficial to your health and happiness. Check out Smiling Mind for more information about bringing mindfulness to your everyday.

24. Take Care of Yourself Emotionally, Spiritually, and Physically

Eating healthy, exercising, and looking after yourself on an emotional and spiritual level through meditation, yoga, or prayer will inevitably set the tone for a more balanced life after 30. A life of gratitude and understanding is certainly a life worth living.

25. “Dance Like There’s Nobody Watching, Love Like You’ll Never Be Hurt, Sing Like There’s Nobody Listening, and Live Like it’s Heaven On Earth”

This quote from William W. Purkey (educational author) says it all.

Featured photo credit: Girl with sunglasses in Bed via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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