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8 Science-Backed Facts Every Couple Should Know Before Marriage

8 Science-Backed Facts Every Couple Should Know Before Marriage

The French essayist Michel D. Montaigne cynically wrote, “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and deaf husband.” Despite his jaundiced view, your marriage has a good chance of lasting if you follow some simple scientifically proven guidelines as outlined below. And FYI: The divorce rate in the United States is dropping, and is no longer around 50% — it’s much closer to 30% if you wait until age 23 to marry.

1. How deep is the hole you’re in?

It’s a scientific statistic: Almost 80% of couples who divorce, cite financial debt as a major reason for the split. Before you and your intended seal the deal, have an honest dialogue about how much each of you owes on student loans. Can you afford to marry and still pay them off? If not, can you get payments reduced or postponed? Remember that a defaulted student loan lowers your credit score significantly, critically impacting your ability to get a mortgage or find a car loan.

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2. Does your partner have a lead foot?

The science of statistics can be tedious, but it tells us this: Over 37 thousand people die in car crashes each year in the United States. Couples are less open about their past driving records than about their past love affairs. You’ve got to sit down with your fiance to work out how much past driving indiscretions are going to affect your car insurance payments. Don’t be afraid to shop around to see about getting lower combined rates — that’s what the Internet is for.

3. How many children will you have?

Social science studies show that American women have fewer children during marriage. There are various reasons for this, but the bottom line is that unless you plan on adopting, the two of you have to agree ahead of time about this tremendous economic responsibility. Leaving it to chance is foolish. Today the birth of a child in a hospital will run about $10,000. Add to that the cost of diapers, food, vaccinations, and so on, and the bills start to run very high indeed.

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4. Synchronized Sleep Patterns Bring Satisfaction

In a 2010 study, published in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine, University of Pittsburgh researchers followed 29 heterosexual couples for a week, showed that couples who went to sleep and woke up at the same time reported higher satisfaction in their marriages. Couples on the same sleep schedules have less conflict, participate in more shared activities, have sex more often, and participate in deeper conversation than those couples who are not on the same sleep schedules.

5. Where will you start out your married life?

A scientific poll on BabyCenter.com of 252 recently married couples shows the vast majority are vigorously opposed to living with their parents or in-laws after the marriage. So although it’s a great way to save money for a down payment on your own house or a deposit on a decent apartment, it isn’t a very popular option with couples today. Make sure, though, to hash it out prior to tying the knot. And if your significant other is already living back at home, what does that tell you about him or her? Is he or she just trying to save money . . . or are there deeper issues that need to be brought out into the light of day?

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6. Can you laugh it up?

Modern research indicates that people with a robust sense of humor will have fewer symptoms of physical illness than those who ignore a sense of the ridiculous in life, love and marriage. Dr. Leslie Parrott writes that, “A daily dose of laughter is like a vitamin pill for your marriage. It is a healthy habit all married couples should enjoy.” So how easy is it for you and your intended to raise a chuckle together? If your relationship is always intense and serious . . . try wearing a flower in your lapel that squirts water and see what happens!

7. The more you make love, the less you’ll worry

When you and your partner are dyed-in-the-wool worrywarts, participating in an active sex life will boost your sense of well-being. In fact, published research in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science claims that neurotic newlyweds who had a lot of sex were just as happy with their marriages as couples who tested as less neurotic. So the bottom line is lovemaking is scientifically proven to lessen stress — men have ALWAYS known that!

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8. Watch your mouth!

Before your marriage, it may have bothered you if friends constantly referred to themselves as “we” or “us,” but it turns out that, when you get married, using couple-focused words like “we,” “our,” and “us” when involved in a conflict can actually produce more affection, less anger, and has lowered psychological stress levels during the disagreement; this is according to a study printed in the journal Psychology and Aging. Also, using words like “I,” “me,” and “you” during an argument is linked to marital dissatisfaction. So watch those pronouns!

Featured photo credit: artisticfilms via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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