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8 Ways To Teach Your Kids To Be Good-Tempered

8 Ways To Teach Your Kids To Be Good-Tempered

Children come into this world not knowing how to handle themselves. It’s up to us as adults to guide them toward self-control and approaching life with an even temper.

Kids will definitely fly off the handle at times, but we need to expect that, and react empathetically so they can learn by example how to better deal with aggravating situations as they arise. It’s okay if they make mistakes, but leaving their temper unchecked as they grow into adults can lead to major problems down the road.

In order to teach our children to be good-tempered, we must:

1. Teach them about feelings

Childhood is a confusing time for everyone. We are thrown into this world with the capability of experiencing a plethora of emotions, and no idea how to handle any of them.

It’s important that adults take the time to teach children how to recognize feelings of anger, sadness, and discomfort, and to provide them with strategies to help cope when these feelings arise. It will take time for them to master these skills, but as with all aspects of childhood, it is expected to be a work in progress.

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2. Explain listening skills

If you’ve ever interacted with children, you know they can get themselves worked up over absolutely anything. And most of the time, it’s a huge misunderstanding that was caused because the child wasn’t truly listening to what the other person was saying.

There’s a difference between hearing somebody, and actually listening to them. Teach your children to be mindful when others are speaking, rather than simply waiting for their turn to speak their mind.

If a child learns that listening is just as much a part of communication as talking is, he’ll surely grow into a good-tempered adult.

3. Show them problem solving skills

Once you get children understanding their feelings and truly listening to what others are saying, you’ll also need to guide them in how to actually resolve the issue they’re facing. There are many methods you can utilize to do so, but one of the most effective ways is through role playing.

Discuss a variety of “what if” scenarios in which your child will have to make a decision that could lead to a positive or negative outcome, and discuss the options fully. Act out the scenario both ways, taking care to point out how both parties are feeling throughout the role play.

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Doing so will help children understand that their actions play a heavy part in how a certain situation plays out.

4. Discuss anger management skills

Everyone gets angry at some points in life. Anger is a natural human emotion, so there’s nothing wrong with being angry. However, there is something wrong with acting on your anger in a way that negatively affects others around you.

Children need to be taught strategies they can use to cope with their anger that lead to positive resolutions for all parties involved. One notion that should be stressed when discussing anger with children is that anger is always triggered by another emotion, be it fear, jealousy, frustration, or a feeling of rejection.

Help children get to the bottom of their anger, and they’ll better be able to manage their behavior when their emotions begin to flare up.

5. Establish rules

Children need boundaries growing up. As the adult, you’re in charge here. Establish ground rules that your children must obey under any and all circumstances. They’ll learn there are certain actions or behaviors they simply won’t get away with.

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However, it’s not enough to just establish the rules, but it is necessary to explain them as well. Children who understand why certain behavior is unacceptable will be less apt to break the rules than children who are simply told “because I said so.”

Since they understand the given rules of a household, they’ll lead much more even-tempered lives..

6. Provide structure

Children should definitely be given some freedom, but for the most part, they should learn to follow a daily routine. This includes before school, after school, and at bedtime.

Again, these house rules are made by you, and the consequences of not following them should be crystal clear to your children. As they get used to following a schedule throughout their day, the thought of deviating from the plan won’t even cross their minds.

7. Help them practice delayed gratification

I know some adults that could use some help here, too! In today’s world in which answers are at our fingertips, and material possessions are just a mouse click away, children need to learn that not everything is “on demand” like their favorite cartoon is.

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In fact, the most rewarding things in life are those which we have fully anticipated for days, weeks, months, even years. Earning a good grade on a test takes weeks of preparation and hard work, but the reward lies not only in the actual grade, but in the feeling of success and accomplishment.

Help children see this by creating schedules on a calendar that will show their progress over time. Growth is not necessarily noticeable by children unless it is visualized and discussed on a daily basis.

Showing them how they’ve grown as they work toward a goal will help keep their need for gratification satisfied while working toward that long-term goal.

8. Model appropriate behavior

I cannot stress this last point enough: If you want your children to be even-tempered, you too have to be calm and collected at all times. They learn about life by watching you.

If you fly off the handle at every little bump in the road, they learn that doing so is an appropriate response to frustration, and will act accordingly. However, if you stay cool when bad situations arise, your children will follow suit.

It doesn’t matter how you used to be before you had kids. Once you have a child that looks up to you, you need to remember that they will grow up to be just like you in many ways, and act accordingly.

Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

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The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

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  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

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If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

More Tips for Single Moms

Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

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