Advertising
Advertising

8 Strategies To Turn Your Bad Karma Around

8 Strategies To Turn Your Bad Karma Around

You’ve probably heard the saying “What goes around, comes around” way too many times in your life. No matter how cliché it sounds, it’s definitely true. Everything you do in life will affect your future in some way or another. Knowing this, you should always look to do good in life, so when instant karma comes to get you, it does so in a positive way. You can optimize the effect karma has on you by following these rules of life:

1. Think positive thoughts

The more positive you are, the happier you’ll be. If you approach each and every moment of your life in a positive fashion, you’ll end up seeing the good in everything. Even when things go wrong, staying optimistic will help you push past the bad, allowing you to see the silver lining through the dark clouds. If you spend your life looking for bad things to happen, you’ll miss out on the good that’s all around you.

Advertising

2. Rethink failure

Failure is universal to all humans. The most successful people in the world have spoken out about how many jobs they’ve been fired from, or how many business ventures they’ve made that have fallen flat. The difference between a successful person and a failure is the way in which they handle themselves when they fall short of a goal. While successful people use their mistakes as learning tools, people who fall short of their goals do so because they let their mistakes become dead ends. Failure is only a bump in the road, and if you treat it that way, good things will happen.

3. Continue learning

Too many people leave high school thinking “Great, I never have to read another book again!” Well, it’s true that you never have to, but do you really want to live the rest of your life not learning anything ever again? Just as you should learn from your mistakes, you should also push yourself to continue learning about anything you possibly can. The world is full of knowledge and wonders waiting to be discovered and understood, so why would you waste the time you have on Earth going through your days without ever experiencing anything new? You don’t want to wake up one day at 40 and realize you missed out on life. Try to learn something new each and every day. You might end up finding a passion for something you never knew you had.

Advertising

4. Be patient

I joked before about “instant karma,” and while sometimes people get what’s coming to them right away (good or bad), it usually takes time for good deeds to be rewarded. But be patient, because good things will come to you. Of course, I don’t mean to say “good things come to those who wait,” because in actuality, good things come to those who work hard and earn them. On the other hand, you shouldn’t simply expect good things to come to you just because you think you deserve them. Sometimes, hard work doesn’t pay off; that’s life. But, again, if you treat the times that your dedication didn’t pay off as a roadblock, you’ll never achieve the success you desire.

5. Be intrinsically motivated

I just alluded to this, but if you want good karma in life, you have to be resilient. You’re not going to be rewarded every time you do something well. Don’t let that stop you from doing good deeds. Instead of looking for a reward for your actions, look at your actions as the reward. Anyone would be more than happy to go out of their way to help others if they knew they’d be given some sort of reward. Being intrinsically motivated by knowing you’ve helped others will lead to a much more fulfilling life in the long-run.

Advertising

6. Challenge yourself

Like I said about being a life-long learner, good karma will come to you if you keep striving to improve yourself. Think of things you don’t consider yourself to be “good” at, and think about why that is. Most likely, the reason is that you never really gave it more than a passing try. Dedicate yourself to an interest or hobby, and it could turn into a life-long passion. You may even be able to turn what was initially a part-time hobby into a full-time career. Like I said before, if you don’t challenge yourself, you end up wasting the gift you were given when you were born.

7. Turn the other cheek

Not everyone in this world is going to be as kind and generous as you. You simply have to accept that, and not let others get you down. You can only control your own being, so if someone else does something to spite you, intentionally or not, the best thing you can do for your own well-being is to let it go. You might be offended or otherwise taken aback by someone’s actions, but you don’t walk in their shoes, and you don’t know what they’ve been through. Perhaps they’ve had an awful day and just took it out on you. While this isn’t necessarily excusable, reacting negatively will only make things worse for both parties involved.

Advertising

8. Spread the love

There’s no better way than to ensure good karma than to spread love around. A little effort can go a long way. A smile and a kind word here and there can be the catalyst that starts a chain reaction that can reach farther than you could ever imagine. Buying a dozen donuts for your colleagues could be the pick-me-up everyone needs to actually enjoy another Monday at the office. In turn, you’ll have lightened the mood of your workplace so that you can enjoy Monday as well. Again, doing something kind for others should never be about what you get in return, but your efforts will certainly make you feel better in some way or another.

Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm4.staticflickr.com

More by this author

12 Signs Of Self-Destructive People 7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience 20 Little Signs You’ve Found The One 8 Signs of a Man Who Will Never Ever Stop Loving You 8 Things To Remember When Dating Someone With A Guarded Heart

Trending in Communication

1 Procrastination Is a Matter of Emotion, Here’s How to Stop It 2 What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It) 3 How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life 4 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People? 5 How to Surround Yourself With Positive People

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

Advertising

1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

Advertising

If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

Advertising

6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

Advertising

In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

Read Next