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8 Strategies To Turn Your Bad Karma Around

8 Strategies To Turn Your Bad Karma Around

You’ve probably heard the saying “What goes around, comes around” way too many times in your life. No matter how cliché it sounds, it’s definitely true. Everything you do in life will affect your future in some way or another. Knowing this, you should always look to do good in life, so when instant karma comes to get you, it does so in a positive way. You can optimize the effect karma has on you by following these rules of life:

1. Think positive thoughts

The more positive you are, the happier you’ll be. If you approach each and every moment of your life in a positive fashion, you’ll end up seeing the good in everything. Even when things go wrong, staying optimistic will help you push past the bad, allowing you to see the silver lining through the dark clouds. If you spend your life looking for bad things to happen, you’ll miss out on the good that’s all around you.

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2. Rethink failure

Failure is universal to all humans. The most successful people in the world have spoken out about how many jobs they’ve been fired from, or how many business ventures they’ve made that have fallen flat. The difference between a successful person and a failure is the way in which they handle themselves when they fall short of a goal. While successful people use their mistakes as learning tools, people who fall short of their goals do so because they let their mistakes become dead ends. Failure is only a bump in the road, and if you treat it that way, good things will happen.

3. Continue learning

Too many people leave high school thinking “Great, I never have to read another book again!” Well, it’s true that you never have to, but do you really want to live the rest of your life not learning anything ever again? Just as you should learn from your mistakes, you should also push yourself to continue learning about anything you possibly can. The world is full of knowledge and wonders waiting to be discovered and understood, so why would you waste the time you have on Earth going through your days without ever experiencing anything new? You don’t want to wake up one day at 40 and realize you missed out on life. Try to learn something new each and every day. You might end up finding a passion for something you never knew you had.

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4. Be patient

I joked before about “instant karma,” and while sometimes people get what’s coming to them right away (good or bad), it usually takes time for good deeds to be rewarded. But be patient, because good things will come to you. Of course, I don’t mean to say “good things come to those who wait,” because in actuality, good things come to those who work hard and earn them. On the other hand, you shouldn’t simply expect good things to come to you just because you think you deserve them. Sometimes, hard work doesn’t pay off; that’s life. But, again, if you treat the times that your dedication didn’t pay off as a roadblock, you’ll never achieve the success you desire.

5. Be intrinsically motivated

I just alluded to this, but if you want good karma in life, you have to be resilient. You’re not going to be rewarded every time you do something well. Don’t let that stop you from doing good deeds. Instead of looking for a reward for your actions, look at your actions as the reward. Anyone would be more than happy to go out of their way to help others if they knew they’d be given some sort of reward. Being intrinsically motivated by knowing you’ve helped others will lead to a much more fulfilling life in the long-run.

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6. Challenge yourself

Like I said about being a life-long learner, good karma will come to you if you keep striving to improve yourself. Think of things you don’t consider yourself to be “good” at, and think about why that is. Most likely, the reason is that you never really gave it more than a passing try. Dedicate yourself to an interest or hobby, and it could turn into a life-long passion. You may even be able to turn what was initially a part-time hobby into a full-time career. Like I said before, if you don’t challenge yourself, you end up wasting the gift you were given when you were born.

7. Turn the other cheek

Not everyone in this world is going to be as kind and generous as you. You simply have to accept that, and not let others get you down. You can only control your own being, so if someone else does something to spite you, intentionally or not, the best thing you can do for your own well-being is to let it go. You might be offended or otherwise taken aback by someone’s actions, but you don’t walk in their shoes, and you don’t know what they’ve been through. Perhaps they’ve had an awful day and just took it out on you. While this isn’t necessarily excusable, reacting negatively will only make things worse for both parties involved.

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8. Spread the love

There’s no better way than to ensure good karma than to spread love around. A little effort can go a long way. A smile and a kind word here and there can be the catalyst that starts a chain reaction that can reach farther than you could ever imagine. Buying a dozen donuts for your colleagues could be the pick-me-up everyone needs to actually enjoy another Monday at the office. In turn, you’ll have lightened the mood of your workplace so that you can enjoy Monday as well. Again, doing something kind for others should never be about what you get in return, but your efforts will certainly make you feel better in some way or another.

Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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