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26 Things To Remember If You Want To Be Truly Happy

26 Things To Remember If You Want To Be Truly Happy

If you’ve asked yourself how to become a happier person, this is already a very good sign. Happiness is not something that happens to us by chance. Being happy is an achievable and learnable skill, which requires constant work on your attitude and depends on how you interpret your life situation. Happiness is largely a matter of choice. And it is probably the smartest life choice you can make. Recent studies show that happy people are 35% less likely to die early than unhappy ones!

So, what do you need to remember if you want to be truly happy?

1. Never dwell on the past

“Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.” – Unknown

Your past is just a story. Everyone has a past – often full of pain, disappointment, missed opportunities, and unfulfilled expectations. No matter what your past looks like, it’s just a story – so don’t let it influence you. Make the present meaningful.

2. Never focus on what’s missing; look at what you actually have.

 “Happiness is not having what you want. It is appreciating what you have.”- Unknown

Be grateful for what you have. You could waste hours counting the things you would like to improve, which would only take you away from appreciating your real life. Gratitude puts situations into perspective and rewires your mind toward a positive direction.

3. Never underestimate quality time with yourself.

 “Focus on loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” – Unknown

Don’t confuse happiness with excitement; a lasting joy of life grows when your mind is in peace. Making time for yourself is as important as devoting time to your everyday duties. Regular meditation, sport, contact with nature, and quality (offline) time spent reading will help you reconnect with yourself and hear your intuition again.

4. Never stop improving yourself.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever”. – Mahatma Gandhi

We are all different, and there is no perfect direction or path to our personal evolution. The whole point is to become the best version of YOU, and never stop taking lessons from your own life experiences.

5. Never be too harsh on yourself.

“Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can.“ – Unknown

Many of us are our own hardest critics, constantly diminishing every success. Accept that you will never be ideal – and see this as okay. In the process of self-development, embracing your own vulnerabilities has been scientifically proven to be a key component of happiness.

6. Never lose a sense of purpose in what you are doing.

“What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” – Unknown

Your time and life power are limited, so spend them wisely and target your energy towards something meaningful. Finding a purpose helps you live a bigger life.

7. Never treat your body badly.

“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” – Buddha

A truly happy soul can only live in a healthy body. Your body will “send you a bill” for the trash you’ve eaten, the sports classes you’ve skipped, your long nights of partying, and your long hours of stressful work. Treat your body as your biggest investment; it will have to serve you your entire life.

8. Never value material things more than experiences.

“Your actions are your only true belongings.” – Allan Lokos

Experiences bring people more happiness than possessions, which never keep you satisfied. Experiences will last in your head forever, nourish your mind, and become a memory which will light up your face with a smile on a bad day.

9. Never compare yourself to other people.

“True happiness is when you are living your life without waiting for anyone’s approval.”- Unknown

Everyone lives life at a different pace, which makes us each special and beautiful. The sooner you embrace your uniqueness and the differences between you and other people, the happier you will be. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you really are without trying to change you or reframe you.

10. Never let your bad thoughts grow.

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts” – Marcus Aurelius

Being judgmental, jealous, or angry will at some point turn against you. A bad thought can trigger bad speech, just as bad words provoke bad actions. Don’t let your mind initiate anything you’d be ashamed of later.

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11. Never fear to embrace change.

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”- Unknown

As you accept the laws which change our life, our bodies, and the way we evolve, you will see the unique beauty of every moment in life with all its natural flow. Be open to new opportunities and humbly accept changes you can’t influence.

12. Never blame others for your own failures.

“Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won’t let you face them alone.” – Unknown

Be responsible for your actions and their outcomes. Taking responsibility gives you a sense of power over your life; blaming your life on circumstances can make you feel powerless.

13. Never tame your curiosity.

“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.” – Fay Weldom

Be curious and ask a lot of questions. Travel, observe, read, watch, and talk with smart people to open your mind and explore the world. Inquisitive thinking and a passion for exploring will nourish your mind.

14. Never stop being mindful.

“Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect” – Unknown

Learn to mindfully observe, smell, hear, and fully appreciate every minute of your life. Those who can’t conscientiously notice and appreciate the present moment aren’t able to be fully happy.

15. Never forget about your loved ones.

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Care about those who are happy to see you succeed in life and support you in difficult times. Avoid harsh critiques and make sure these people know how glad you are that they’re a part of your life.

16. Never worry about the things you cannot influence.

“Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All is does it steal your joy and keep you very busy doing nothing.”- Unknown

How many times has a situation you’ve worried about not come true? Worrying about things you can’t influence is a waste of time and makes you feel unnecessarily miserable.

17. Never attach happiness to something in the future.

“Think of all the beauty that is still left in and around you and be happy.” – Anne Frank

Many people live like they’re waiting for something – to find a perfect love partner, to get promoted, or to retire with a good pension. Don’t postpone your happiness to a moment in the future; life is all about enjoying the journey.

18. Never stop meeting new people.

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” – Joseph F Newton

Surrounding yourself with happy people makes you happier. Meeting new people nowadays is easy, due to open lifestyles, new technologies, internet forums, popular mobile apps. It would be a waste to not make the most of this opportunity. Even people who enter your life for a short time can teach you important lessons and make your life more colorful.

19. Never let your ego win.

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.”- Pema Chodron

Acting with anger and following your insecurities can only complicate your life situation. Instead, act with compassion and humility towards others. Showing maturity will make your relations with others more joyful and fulfilling.

20. Never voluntary harm.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain

Every choice you make, every word you say, and every purchase you make impacts someone’s life. Choose to be a good person.

21. Never stop living life to the fullest.

“Hug harder. Laugh louder. Smile bigger. Love longer.” – Unknown

Live intensely. Do what you want and enjoy it with all your senses. Start working on fulfilling your dreams as soon as possible. “Hug harder. Laugh louder. Smile bigger. Love longer.”

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22. Never forget to smile.

“Use your smile to change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.” – Unknown

You don’t know what the person in front of you is going through. Be kind to others and share your smiles and positive words. Isn’t it amazing to make someone’s day a little better in such a simple way?

23. Never be afraid to completely change your life.

“If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” – Roman Price

It is never too late to completely change your life and make it more meaningful. Let your mind be free and surprise you from time to time.  Go with the flow and open yourself up to different possibilities.

24. Never be afraid of being alone.

“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” – Maxwell Maltz

Don’t be afraid of being alone. Happiness is internal, and you don’t need anyone or anything to be happy. Learn to have fun on your own: walk, travel, eat good food, etc. Being alone doesn’t mean to you have to be lonely. Look at monks for example – being happy in solitude is a virtue.

25. Never stop organizing your own happiness.

“Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.” – Richard Kline

Happiness appears where dreams meet preparation. Make a conscious everyday effort to shape yourself and your life the way you want.

26. Never stop loving.

“Love as much as you can from wherever you are.” – Thaddeus Golas

True love doesn’t lose value over time; it multiplies and comes back to you the more you give it away. The meaning of our whole existence would be much simpler if love meant only romantic love. Love everyone who you think deserves and needs your love. Love the Earth and the people who have helped you become who you are. Love your own life.

Last but not least, try to appreciate more about small things that happen in your life to become happier!

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    Featured photo credit: Pexels via static.pexels.com

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    Last Updated on January 15, 2019

    How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

    How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

    Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

    In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

    Step right up, don’t be shy!

    Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

    The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

    Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

    Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
    So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

    A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

    Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

    Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

    When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

    Culturally Conditioned

    We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

    I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

    The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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    Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

    Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

    Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

    1. Broadens Your Network

    After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

    2. Improves Your Communication Skills

    I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

    Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

    3. Continually Learning

    So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

    Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

    4. Increases Self Confidence

    Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

    Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

    So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

    How to Talk to Strangers

    Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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    1. Say Hello

    Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

    Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

    Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

    2. Ask About Them

    Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

    You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

    As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

    3. Just Do It

    One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

    When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

    Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

    4. Don’t Take It Personal

    One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

    When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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    5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

    I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

    One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

    6. Detach

    A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

    Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

    7. Share Your Stories

    Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

    To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

    So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

    8. Give a Compliment

    Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

    When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

    9. Relax Your Body Language

    If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

    When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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    If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

    10. Practice, Practice, Practice

    Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

    Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

    After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

    The Bottom Line

    As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

    There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

    Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

    Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

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    Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

    Reference

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