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5 Misconceptions About Your Loved One Fighting Lupus

5 Misconceptions About Your Loved One Fighting Lupus

If you love someone fighting lupus, you very likely know that this disease is an autoimmune disorder. This means that the immune system is out of sync and attacks healthy body tissue.

It just cannot distinguish the threats from the benign elements. The result is usually painful inflammation of the joints. Its official name is Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE). Symptoms range from mild to severe and the disease may manifest itself in joint pain, chronic fatigue, skin rashes, migraines, ulcers and may damage internal organs such as the kidneys and heart.

If you have a loved one struggling with lupus right now, there are a few choice misconceptions that others believe and that you should keep in mind as you support them.

1. They have an easily understood disease

In spite of the fact that 1 in 185 Americans suffer from lupus, the majority of the population is extremely ignorant about this disease. They also think it is contagious, which is completely false and they persist in thinking that only the elderly are affected.

The reality is that the most common age group to be affected is actually in the 15 – 45 range. Only about 10% of lupus sufferers are men, so it is generally a women’s disease. Thanks to Toni Braxton, the reality TV star and award winning singer, who has come out about her daily battle with lupus, there is more public awareness now of what the disease involves.

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Watch the video of Toni here,as she describes some of her daily struggles.

2. They are very lazy

Few people understand any condition which involves chronic fatigue and they just assume that the people are plain lazy and they ought to get on with it. This applies to many diseases such as chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), and lupus is no exception. Toni Braxton describes it as like having the flu, but every day.

Telling their doctor that they are tired is often very difficult as you can see from the sufferers’ comments here on the Lupus Foundation of America’s Facebook page. The fact that this post was liked by more than 1,000 people speaks volumes.

You can support your loved one better by bearing in mind that they will almost always need more rest than anyone else in the family or circle of friends.

3. They cannot have children

Lots of people mistakenly think that a woman with lupus may have a very risky pregnancy and that the child will be born with some birth defect. This is just a myth though, as the risk of birth defects with a woman with lupus is exactly the same as any normal pregnancy.

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Women with lupus are generally advised to plan their pregnancy when their disease is in remission though. This normally makes things much easier for them.

Lupus sufferers have to be carefully monitored as there are some dangers, but they very often carry a child successfully to term. There is a small chance that the lupus condition can be passed on to the child, but in reality, these risks are minimal.

4. They can be easily diagnosed

Diagnosis is not just simple blood work and many people think that a visit to the doctor can confirm the diagnosis. But it is much more complicated than that. This disease is often called “the great imitator” because its symptoms could be many other diseases.

In addition, there are flare ups which mean that the disease may come and go, and change over time. The doctor, if she suspects lupus, will order a complete set of laboratory tests. Antibody testing, a complete blood count, kidney and liver functions, and blood cells sedimentation rates are usually ordered.

Getting treatment is not that easy either, as the best person to treat it is usually a rheumatologist as that is also a connective tissue disease. This is also why doctors use the American College of Rheumatology guidelines to help them diagnose lupus.

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There are just not enough rheumatologists to go around, which means that the best qualified specialist is often not available.

5. They probably got it from their parents

This is another myth, because the actual genetic factor is quite small, statistically. It is thought that only about 5% of parents will pass on the disease to their offspring. Research so far has failed to identify a gene or group of genes that might be responsible.

The fact that Native Americans, Native Hawaiians, African and Asian ethnic groups are at greater risk certainly suggests a genetic link. There are also environmental issues involved which specialists do not fully understand, as yet.

If you talk to lupus sufferers, you will find that the hardest part for them is trying to make friends and family understand what they are going through. Some of the symptoms are vague and that is part of the problem.

The mental and physical suffering is often brushed under the carpet by the sufferers themselves because they are not getting enough support and sympathy. Talking openly and honestly about this chronic condition is often the best way to help.

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This is a great step toward accepting changes in lifestyle for family members and also helping to meet the patients’ needs.

“I was upfront about having lupus, but it never came up in the show. I didn’t want anyone thinking they had an advantage – there’s a fine line between what you tell and what you don’t.” – Leslie Hunt, season six contestant on ‘American Idol’

Featured photo credit: Fuente: Com Salud/ Com Salud Agencia via flickr.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

“Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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2. Show Compassion

If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

3. Communicate Regularly

Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

4. Ask for Feedback

Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

You Can Find Good Help

It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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You Pull Together as a Team

Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

Your Career Shines Bright

Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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