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5 Misconceptions About Your Loved One Fighting Lupus

5 Misconceptions About Your Loved One Fighting Lupus

If you love someone fighting lupus, you very likely know that this disease is an autoimmune disorder. This means that the immune system is out of sync and attacks healthy body tissue.

It just cannot distinguish the threats from the benign elements. The result is usually painful inflammation of the joints. Its official name is Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE). Symptoms range from mild to severe and the disease may manifest itself in joint pain, chronic fatigue, skin rashes, migraines, ulcers and may damage internal organs such as the kidneys and heart.

If you have a loved one struggling with lupus right now, there are a few choice misconceptions that others believe and that you should keep in mind as you support them.

1. They have an easily understood disease

In spite of the fact that 1 in 185 Americans suffer from lupus, the majority of the population is extremely ignorant about this disease. They also think it is contagious, which is completely false and they persist in thinking that only the elderly are affected.

The reality is that the most common age group to be affected is actually in the 15 – 45 range. Only about 10% of lupus sufferers are men, so it is generally a women’s disease. Thanks to Toni Braxton, the reality TV star and award winning singer, who has come out about her daily battle with lupus, there is more public awareness now of what the disease involves.

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Watch the video of Toni here,as she describes some of her daily struggles.

2. They are very lazy

Few people understand any condition which involves chronic fatigue and they just assume that the people are plain lazy and they ought to get on with it. This applies to many diseases such as chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), and lupus is no exception. Toni Braxton describes it as like having the flu, but every day.

Telling their doctor that they are tired is often very difficult as you can see from the sufferers’ comments here on the Lupus Foundation of America’s Facebook page. The fact that this post was liked by more than 1,000 people speaks volumes.

You can support your loved one better by bearing in mind that they will almost always need more rest than anyone else in the family or circle of friends.

3. They cannot have children

Lots of people mistakenly think that a woman with lupus may have a very risky pregnancy and that the child will be born with some birth defect. This is just a myth though, as the risk of birth defects with a woman with lupus is exactly the same as any normal pregnancy.

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Women with lupus are generally advised to plan their pregnancy when their disease is in remission though. This normally makes things much easier for them.

Lupus sufferers have to be carefully monitored as there are some dangers, but they very often carry a child successfully to term. There is a small chance that the lupus condition can be passed on to the child, but in reality, these risks are minimal.

4. They can be easily diagnosed

Diagnosis is not just simple blood work and many people think that a visit to the doctor can confirm the diagnosis. But it is much more complicated than that. This disease is often called “the great imitator” because its symptoms could be many other diseases.

In addition, there are flare ups which mean that the disease may come and go, and change over time. The doctor, if she suspects lupus, will order a complete set of laboratory tests. Antibody testing, a complete blood count, kidney and liver functions, and blood cells sedimentation rates are usually ordered.

Getting treatment is not that easy either, as the best person to treat it is usually a rheumatologist as that is also a connective tissue disease. This is also why doctors use the American College of Rheumatology guidelines to help them diagnose lupus.

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There are just not enough rheumatologists to go around, which means that the best qualified specialist is often not available.

5. They probably got it from their parents

This is another myth, because the actual genetic factor is quite small, statistically. It is thought that only about 5% of parents will pass on the disease to their offspring. Research so far has failed to identify a gene or group of genes that might be responsible.

The fact that Native Americans, Native Hawaiians, African and Asian ethnic groups are at greater risk certainly suggests a genetic link. There are also environmental issues involved which specialists do not fully understand, as yet.

If you talk to lupus sufferers, you will find that the hardest part for them is trying to make friends and family understand what they are going through. Some of the symptoms are vague and that is part of the problem.

The mental and physical suffering is often brushed under the carpet by the sufferers themselves because they are not getting enough support and sympathy. Talking openly and honestly about this chronic condition is often the best way to help.

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This is a great step toward accepting changes in lifestyle for family members and also helping to meet the patients’ needs.

“I was upfront about having lupus, but it never came up in the show. I didn’t want anyone thinking they had an advantage – there’s a fine line between what you tell and what you don’t.” – Leslie Hunt, season six contestant on ‘American Idol’

Featured photo credit: Fuente: Com Salud/ Com Salud Agencia via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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