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Seven Reasons To Believe In Yourself Again Even If You Don’t Feel You Can (And How To Do So)

Seven Reasons To Believe In Yourself Again Even If You Don’t Feel You Can (And How To Do So)

Sometimes life sucks. That’s just the way it is. We’ve all heard over and over again that it’s through the tough times that we learn to appreciate the great times. It’s easy to say but when you’re at a low point how do you find the energy to pick yourself up off the floor and get back on track?

When your confidence is in the doldrums here are seven facts to build your self-belief and ignite the fire in your belly.

Your strengths are powerful

If you find yourself focusing on your weaknesses, it’s time to reconnect with your strengths. Knowing and developing your character strengths can have a significant impact on your quality of life as well as a positive effect on your relationships, your career and your personal growth. Take the simple free survey at www.viacharacter.org and 15 mins later you’ll have a report that outlines your top strengths. Who knows you might even by pleasantly surprised what turns up.

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“Being confident and believing in your own self-worth is necessary to achieving your potential.” – Sheryl Sandberg

You have choices

Our lives are the result of the choices we make. Pure and simple. Becoming more aware of how we make our decisions is crucial. If you find yourself in the habit of negatively reacting to people or events, next time just try to pause and think then make an informed decision on your next action.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” Maya Angelou

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You are one of a kind

Besides the physical what also makes us unique is our individual collection of experiences, abilities, thoughts and dreams. Spend some time to reflect and get clarity on the magic that exists at the intersection of what you care about and what you’re good at. When you are clear and can operate from this intersection life will start to flow. A way to discover this is to answer two questions:

  • What really pisses you off? Not the immaterial stuff like missing out on a sale or the bus being late but at a deeper level, that you really care about and that you feel needs to be changed.
  • What did you want to be when you grew up? Think about the qualities that were necessary in that profession. Odds are that these are things you’re naturally good at and related to your strengths.

“You have to believe in yourself when no one else does – that makes you a winner right there.” – Venus Williams

You can make a difference

Find your magic then pay it forward so that others can find theirs. In his popular TED talks, Simon Sinek explains that when you help others, both you and the person you serve get a release of oxytocin. Not only does it give you the warm fuzzier but oxytocin boosts our immune systems and enables us to be better problem solvers. So find a charity or a cause that means something to you and get involved.

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“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” – Oprah Winfrey

You are tougher than you think

Human beings are remarkable things. Examples of people overcoming extreme hardship who go on and thrive, are all around us. No matter where you find yourself, someone has been there before and they are stronger from it. You can be too. While you might not be feeling like you’re the best version of yourself right now, even the fact you are reading this is the first step to finding what you are truly capable of.

“Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” – Richard Branson

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Your energy is infectious (and so is your smile)

One of the best ways to feel better is to make other people to feel better first. Every day is filled with a series of energy exchanges. Make the effort to be an energy giver and you’ll find it not only coming back to you but spreading to those around you. Start every interaction with a smile and take it from there. For more tips on managing your energy check check out this article.

You can create your own destiny

Your life is yours and yours alone to create. Whether you choose to make it grand or humble is up to you. Comparing your vision to others is irrelevant. What is important is that it is fulfilling and meaningful for you. Take these seven facts and start now.

“We are not in this world to find ourselves, we are here to create ourselves.”

Featured photo credit: https://twitter.com/viktorhanacek via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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