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6 Toxic Beliefs That Hinder Your Success

6 Toxic Beliefs That Hinder Your Success

Oftentimes, the only barrier that prevents you from becoming successful is your own mind. If you don’t control your brain, it will control you. When the latter is your case, you likely gathered tons of toxic beliefs and negative affirmations which taint your life and limit your perspective. It’s a mental cage that enslaves many people, sometimes for good. The fact is, you can and should eradicate the harmful thoughts and finally break the bars of your mind cage.

The purpose of this article is to point the damaging beliefs so you could find out whether they took up residence in your brain and separate yourself from the negative energy.

1. “It’s not the right time.”

Procrastination is a dangerous disease and if you don’t take action, it will eventually eat all your dreams for breakfast. Achieving something extraordinary scares our minds since it requires leaving your comfort zone and facing the unknown.

The truth is, however, every single remarkable achievement involves discomfort. Fortunately, the final result is worth the effort. But to start getting closer to your goal, you need to stop believing that today isn’t the right time to start.

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Based on my experience, putting any of my goals off was a bad decision. It’s when I finally began working toward something that I realized there’s no reasonable excuse for postponing. Every time you do it, you harm yourself only because a fictional belief your mind serves you.

From now on, accept the fact that it’s always better to start, fail and then get up stronger and wiser, instead of waiting for the perfect moment (which never arrives).

2. “I’m not good enough.“

If you base your opinion completely on your mind and you didn’t train it yet to work for you, you are probably stuck. Lack of self-belief can be extremely damaging, but in reality, there’s no fair reason not to believe in yourself. You are the first person that need to truly believe in your abilities.

Once you make a switch, the rest will adapt your assumption. It never happens the other way around. What I’m getting at is that being good enough or being inadequate is only a state of mind and not an absolute fact. That’s why you should always believe in your competences even when you face the worst moment in your life. Self-belief leads to more confidence in your strengths which is required to survive the tests life throws at you.

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“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”

Henry Ford

3. “I’m not an expert.“

There’s a weird assumption in some people’s brains that you need to be really good at something to be allowed to do it. Although they believe experts are born, in real life you need to start from scratch and go through moments of uncertainty so that one day you become savvy and experienced.

If you are completely inept at something, that’s the perfect point to begin at. Sometimes we fool ourselves believing in the overnight success the Television tries to inspire us with. In fact, behind every true expert there is a story of a beginner who went through countless failures, tons of hard work and constant practice.

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4. “I will surely fail.”

It’s impossible to foretell the future, yet many people spare no effort to envision the worst scenario. It’s very likely that you’ll fail at something completely new, but it doesn’t mean you can’t succeed as well. In fact, every successful person admits that failure is an inseparate part of their success. One cannot exist without the other.

What you need to believe is that failing is momentary. Even if it feels like forever, achieving your goal is closer than you think, so don’t give up and try once again.

Do you know what’s bitter than failure? It’s asking yourself a regretful question, namely “what if”. What if I tried one more time, maybe I would succeed? You don’t know until you do it.

5. “I will start once I have more…”

More time, more money and more willpower? The fact is, none of these things happens by accident. It’s always a result of preparation, work, and perseverance. You need to abandon the toxic belief that a better environment for success will originate by itself.

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To have more time, you must eliminate the unnecessary commitments and learn to say no. To have more money, you must take care of your financial stability or maybe create your own business.

The very same thing applies to willpower — it’s earned, not given. Once you realize that you are the master of your universe, you are on the right path to success.

6. “I’m not lucky.”

Whereas successful people take a full responsibility for their achievements, the crowd tends to believe the luck made them outstanding. The truth is, luck plays a role, but it’s a drop in the ocean of hard work, right attitude and persistence.

My advice would be to exclude luck from your visions. Assume that it doesn’t matter at all and everything can be influenced by your actions. Actually, that’s truth and you realize it at the moment you see the results of your efforts.

Featured photo credit: Joe Szilagyi via flickr.com

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Oskar Nowik

Oskar is a blogger and the author of "Brightening: The Positive Attitude That Will Change Your Life"

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Last Updated on August 12, 2020

When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

Learning how to trust your gut, otherwise known as your intuition, can keep you safe. Your gut can guide you and help you build your confidence and resilience. My own gut instinct has saved me on more than one occasion. It has also guided me into making sound career choices and other exciting, big decisions. I’m also aware of the times when I’ve gone against my instincts and really regretted it later, wondering why I didn’t tune in to that valuable internal voice that we all have within us.

In this article, we’re going to explore why and how you should listen to your gut, as well as some concrete tips on how to make sure you’re making the most out of your gut instincts.

How to Listen to Your Gut

The key when making any big decision is to always take a minute to listen well to yourself and your inner compass. If you hear your actual voice saying yes while inside you’re silently screaming no, my advice is to ask for some time to think, or simply take a breath and pause before the yes or no escapes your mouth.

Use that moment to breathe, check in with yourself, and give the answer that feels congruent with who you are and what you want, not the one that always involves following the herd. Trusting your gut means having the courage to not simply go with the majority. It can be about holding your own. Here’s how to hone that skill for yourself and reap the rewards.

1. Tune Into Your Body

Your body gives you clues when you’re faced with a big decision. There are many visible and obvious symptoms that we feel in uncomfortable situations. Our body’s reaction is often something that we might try to hide, for example, blushing, being lost for words, or shaking. There are things we might do to try and hide that physical reaction, whether it’s wearing makeup, having a glass of wine or coffee to perk us up a bit, or learning to control our nerves.

However, paying attention to your body when you experience these feelings of anxiety can teach you so much and help you to make sound choices. Some people will experience an actual “gut” feeling of stomach ache or indigestion in an uncomfortable situation.

Ask yourself what’s really going on here, and explore what is happening behind your body’s response to the situation. What can your reaction or instinct teach you? Understanding that can be a clue and can help you either learn something about yourself, the situation, or other people. The answers are often within us.

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Sometimes we’ll get this “something’s not right here” feeling and cannot quite put our finger on it or explain it. That can still be incredibly useful and really guide us away from danger, even if we don’t know the reason.

In his book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell also argues this, making the point that sometimes our subconscious is better at processing the answer we need, and that we don’t necessarily need to take time to collect hours and hours of information to come to a reliable conclusion[1].

2. Ensure Your Head Is Clear Before Making a Decision

Energy, sleep, and good nutrition are so vital to nourishing our minds, as well as our bodies. There are times when your instinct could lead you astray, and one of these is when you are hungry, “hangry” (angry because you’re hungry!), tired, or anxious. If this is the case–and it may sound obvious–do consider sleeping or eating on it before making an important choice.

There is, in fact, a connection between our gut and our brain[2], which is where terms like “butterflies in the stomach” and “gut-wrenching” originate from. Stress and emotions can cause physical feelings, and ignoring them might do more harm than good.

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Say What You Think and Feel

Listening to your gut and really paying attention to it might involve standing up and being counted, calling something out, or taking a stand. As someone who works for myself, I’ve become used to following the less-travelled road, and that’s given me the chance to strike out on my own in other ways, too.

As they tell you in the planes, “put your own oxygen mask on first,” and part of that self-reliance is knowing what you really want and like and what is safe and good for you, including what resonates with your personal and business values. Making good decisions with this in mind means making choices that do not go against your own beliefs, even when it may mean taking a stand. This is part of trusting yourself and trusting your instincts.

This does not always mean taking the “safe” option, although keeping ourselves safe is an important part of the process. This is how we learn and grow, by following our own inner compass. When you do take risks, go outside of your comfort zone, or choose the less popular option, spending some time researching the facts can stand us in good stead, too.

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4. Do Your Research If Something Feels Off

As well as listening to our instincts, we can also back up the evidence for our chosen course of action before taking the leap. I had a gut feeling about the need for a learning and development network when I noticed my clients getting stuck with the same problems. I set up and now run such a network, but instead of simply going for it, without evidence, I followed up on my instinct with research.

Having confidence in your gut instinct through these kinds of tests can help to minimize your risks, as well as spur you on. It will encourage you to trust your gut again in the future and trust that you are an expert with foresight and experience. You are!

5. Challenge Your Assumptions

When you look at the assumptions your making, this could be the clue to mistakes you are making.

In order to check that our instincts are wise, we need to ask ourselves what blanks we might be filling in, either consciously or unconsciously. This is true not just when it comes to our own decision-making. It’s also true when we are listening to someone explain a problem or situation, and we’re about to jump in and give some advice. If we can learn to be aware of our own assumptions, we can become better listeners and better decision makers, too.

A useful tool to become more aware of your assumptions before making a final decision is simply to ask yourself, “What assumptions am I making about this situation or person?”

6. Educate Yourself on Unconscious Bias

Unconscious bias is something we all have, and it can trip us up big time!

There is a vital caveat to bear in mind when wondering about whether you can trust your gut and the feelings your body gives you, and that’s having an awareness of your unconscious bias. Understanding your own bias–which is hard to do because it literally does happen in our subconscious–can help you to make stronger, better, decisions instead of re-confirming your view of the world over and over again.

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Bias exists, and it’s part of the human condition. All of us have it, and it colors our decisions and can impact on our performance without us realizing.

Unconscious bias happens at a subconscious level in our brains. Our subconscious brain processes information so much faster than our conscious brain. Quick decisions we make in our subconscious are based on both our societal conditioning and how our families raised us.

Our brains process hundreds of thousands of pieces of information daily. We unconsciously categorize and format that information into patterns that feel familiar to us. Aspects such as gender, disability, class, sexuality, body shape and size, ethnicity, and what someone does for a job can all quickly influence decisions we make about people and the relationships we choose to form. Our unconscious bias can be very subtle and go unnoticed..

We naturally tend to gravitate towards people similar to ourselves, favoring people who we see as belonging to the same “group” as us. Being able to make a quick decision about whether someone is part of your group and distinguish friend from foe was what helped early humans to survive. Conversely, we don’t automatically favor people who we don’t immediately relate to or easily connect with.

The downside of that human instinct to seek out similar people is the potential for prejudice, which seems to be hard-wired into human cognition, no matter how open-minded we believe ourselves to be. And these stereotypes we create can be wrong. If we only spend our time with and employ people similar to ourselves, it can create prejudices, as well as stifle fresh thinking and innovation.

We may feel more natural or comfortable working with other people who share our own background and/or opinions than collaborating with people who don’t look, talk, or think like us. However, diversity is not just morally right; having a mix of different people and perspectives that can be genuinely heard is also a valuable way to counter groupthink. Diversity stretches us to think more critically and creatively.

7. Trust Yourself

It is possible to learn how to truly trust yourself[3]. Like any talent or skill, practicing trusting your gut is the best way to get really good at it. When people talk about having great intuition or being good decision-makers, it’s because they’ve worked at honing those skills, made mistakes, learned from them, and tried again.

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Looking back at decisions you’ve made, what you did, what the outcome was, and what you’ve learned can help you become a stronger decision maker and develop solid self-trust and resilience. Making a mistake does not mean you are not great at decision-making; it’s a chance to grow and learn, and the only mistake is to ignore the lesson in that experience.

If you are in the habit of asking others for their input, then the trick here is to choose your inner circle wisely. Having a sounding board of people who have your best interests at heart is a valuable asset, and, combined with your own excellent instincts, can make you a champion decision maker.

The Bottom Line

The above tips are all actionable and easy to start immediately. It’s simply about switching your thinking around, slowing down, and taking great care of this amazing machine that is your body and mind!

Learning how to trust your gut is one of the most fundamental ways to make decisions that will help you lead the life you want and need. Tune into what your body is telling you and start making good decisions today.

More Tips on How to Trust Your Gut

Featured photo credit: Acy Varlan via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Science of People: Learn to Trust Your Gut Instincts: The Science Behind Thin-slicing
[2] Harvard Health Publishing: The gut-brain connection
[3] Psych Central: 3 Ways to Develop Self-Trust

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