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10 Things Only People Who Sweat A Lot Would Understand

10 Things Only People Who Sweat A Lot Would Understand

On even a fairly warm summer day, do you sweat so much that you resemble a champagne bottle that has been taken right out of the cooler and left to condense? Do you look like Queen Latifa after a mile long run, even though you just walked out the door? Do you look like someone who’s been doing her collage paper at a place where there’s no air conditioning? Can do people have trouble figuring out if you just came right out of the shower or out the gym?

For people who sweat a lot, life can be difficult. These circumstances can be embarrassing. While people smile and welcome a sunny day in the month of May, you cheerfully wave it goodbye until August slowly – and thankfully – comes to an end.

They say, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” But what if we sweat everything – all the time. Big, small, long, short, hot, cold, good day, bad day… I mean: ALL THE TIME!

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Here are ten things only people who are prone to perspire would understand.

1) You Fear the White T-Shirt

Thanks to your pit-stain problems, you dread the white T-shirt more than any other color. They won’t last a day, much less a week when it comes to “being spot-less”. The only white shirts you own are either huge mistakes or not-so-welcome gifts. With so much whites in your closet, you must own a bottle of bleach. And of course, if you don’t have the time to bleach away the yellows from the whites, you’d much rather throw away the shirt. Unless of course, you prefer to show off the size and color of your stains.

2) You Have Unsuccessfully Tried Too Many Antiperspirants

The deodorant manufacturers talk about the “aluminum salts” that are believed to magically cure perspiration. You know it’s a sham, but you will still give it a try. No, not just one kind. You have tried, tested, and failed with several kinds. The roll-ons, the sprays, the cream-ish ones, and what-not. Yep, you’ve tried everything that should work to seal the sweat. What makes it even worse is when someone ever-so-kindly advises you try a product you are positive doesn’t work on you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t.

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For you “anti” with “perspire” is like “life” with “easy”. Is life ever easy? Thought so. Okay, let’s be thankful of the fact it helps mingle the smell with your own reek. At least, it works to conceal the secretions in its own deceptive ways, right?

3) You Envy Models with Everlasting Makeup

It’s baffling how make-up can actually stick to the face. Your face? Not suited to make-up at all. The only thing that sticks to you is your own salts. Being a Sweaty Betty has caused you to hate makeup altogether. Black eyes, under eye circles, smeared lipstick, and a melting foundation – you end up looking worse than you did in the morning, thanks to a layer of powders lathered onto your face. You wonder how the head-banging punk-rock female celebrities (Britney-types) manage to keep their face looking pretty throughout their stage performance. You know all there is to know about “melt-proof makeup”. However, even with that mascara and liner they promised wouldn’t “bleed”, you’re still crying black in no time.

4) You Never Raise Your Hand High Up

Waving your hand high up in the air like a brainy Hermione is out of question for you. For you, flying a hand straight up towards the roof means revealing the sweat-soaked under arms. Except for in front of cab drivers – who are probably too busy wondering how much you’ll pay them to get out of sun-struck agony. Let’s be optimistic. Let’s hope that’s all they care about and not their brand-new seat covers.

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You also avoid flailing arms at all costs. To be nice to yourself and others, you keep the arms low. Better safe than sorry.

5) You Shower A Great Portion of the Day

You envy anyone who speaks of showering only once a day – and means it. God gave them compassionate sweat glands, unlike your own. Stressful situation or not, you are likely to “break a sweat” at any time or place and in any manner. Showering to rid yourself of that stinky situation is your only chance of seeming “calm”. You shower before work, you shower after work, you shower before bed, and (quite possibly) wherever you find a shower. A great portion of your day is comprised of showering and worrying when on earth you’ll get the chance to do so.

6) You Have Never Been Known to Sunbathe… Except Everyday

For you, it would be a pleasure to heavily lather a sun tan lotion, lay on a deck chair, and give yourself a “sunbathe” like every other normal person out on the beach on a fine summer day. Unfortunately, you can’t sunbathe because you know you’ll drown in your own sweat within the first few minutes of “sunbathing”. Your sunny friend won’t let you get tanned. Oh no, my friend, you only get to bathe in your own sweat every time your sunny friend is around.

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7) You Dread a First Date

You sincerely hope that your date would either be the understanding type, or much like you, they also have a serious sweat problem. Nervousness and all, you’re always worried about your first dates turning out to be one of your worst sweat-soaking episodes. Checking your arms to see how much you’ve perspired is going to be tricky. If your date is not perceptive enough, expect them to ask you why you,occasionally peer into your arms.

8) You are Often Asked About Being Nervous

Even on a normal day and in a very normal situation, you run the risk of looking like a nervous wreck. Thanks to your sweaty palms and sweat-dripping forehead, you are often approached and questioned about your not calm composure. People tell you to relax or ask you if you’re okay. You are okay, of course – except for the perpetual and unconditional physiological response of sweating.

9) You Don’t Dress to Impress at a Night Club

Hey, a sleeve-less tank top would do. The last thing you want to do is wear a full sleeve shirt to a night club where even practically bare outfit would get you sweating in no time. Moving while you’re grooving and being the life of the party is great. But once the sweat starts to drip on the dance floor, you’re glad the lights aren’t bright enough to display your sticky condition. Dirty Dancing anyone? For a crazy sweater, out of question. Unless of course, your partner suffers from the same blessing.

10) You Get a Damp Ass from Sitting

Sitting on your butt on a warm, sunny day can be quite bothersome – and embarrassing too. The last thing you want to sit up from is a damp-ass, sweat-soaked seat that you sat on for too long. To save yourself from the embarrassment of questionably sopping up a chair, you prefer walking around every once in a while and cooling off your rear. Not only is it unpleasant to let your sweat make a crime scene-like chalk outline complimenting your butt size, but it’s also inconsiderate to leave behind a swamp for the next person willing to sit on the chair.

Featured photo credit: Drops of Perspiration via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

Being in a hurry all the time drains your energy. Your work and routine life make you feel overwhelmed. Getting caught up in things beyond your control stresses you out…

If you’d like to stay calm and cool in stressful situations, put the following 8 steps into practice:

1. Breathe

The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation that makes you want to hurry, stop what you’re doing for one minute and perform the following steps:

  • Take five deep breaths in and out (your belly should come forward with each inhale).
  • Imagine all that stress leaving your body with each exhale.
  • Smile. Fake it if you have to. It’s pretty hard to stay grumpy with a goofy grin on your face.

Feel free to repeat the above steps every few hours at work or home if you need to.

2. Loosen up

After your breathing session, perform a quick body scan to identify any areas that are tight or tense. Clenched jaw? Rounded shoulders? Anything else that isn’t at ease?

Gently touch or massage any of your body parts that are under tension to encourage total relaxation. It might help to imagine you’re in a place that calms you: a beach, hot tub, or nature trail, for example.

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3. Chew slowly

Slow down at the dinner table if you want to learn to be patient and lose weight. Shoveling your food down as fast as you can is a surefire way to eat more than you need to (and find yourself with a bellyache).

Be a mindful eater who pays attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of every dish. Chew slowly while you try to guess all of the ingredients that were used to prepare your dish.

Chewing slowly will also reduce those dreadful late-night cravings that sneak up on you after work.

4. Let go

Cliche as it sounds, it’s very effective.

The thing that seems like the end of the world right now?

It’s not. Promise.

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Stressing and worrying about the situation you’re in won’t do any good because you’re already in it, so just let it go.

Letting go isn’t easy, so here’s a guide to help you:

21 Things To Do When You Find It Hard To Let Go

5. Enjoy the journey

Focusing on the end result can quickly become exhausting. Chasing a bold, audacious goal that’s going to require a lot of time and patience? Split it into several mini-goals so you’ll have several causes for celebration.

Stop focusing on the negative thoughts. Giving yourself consistent positive feedback will help you grow patience, stay encouraged, and find more joy in the process of achieving your goals.

6. Look at the big picture

The next time you find your stress level skyrocketing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

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Will this matter to me…

  • Next week?
  • Next month?
  • Next year?
  • In 10 years?

Hint: No, it won’t.

I bet most of the stuff that stresses you wouldn’t matter the next week, maybe not even the next day.

Stop agonizing over things you can’t control because you’re only hurting yourself.

7. Stop demanding perfection of yourself

You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Show me a person who claims to be perfect and I’ll show you a dirty liar.

Demanding perfection of yourself (or anybody else) will only stress you out because it just isn’t possible.

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8. Practice patience every day

Below are a few easy ways you can practice patience every day, increasing your ability to remain calm and cool in times of stress:

  • The next time you go to the grocery store, get in the longest line.
  • Instead of going through the drive-thru at your bank, go inside.
  • Take a long walk through a secluded park or trail.

Final thoughts

Staying calm in stressful situations is possible, all you need is some daily practice.

Taking deep breaths and eat mindfully are some simple ways to train your brain to be more patient. But changing the way you think of a situation and staying positive are most important in keeping cool whenever you feel overwhelmed and stressful.

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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