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10 Things I Wish I Had Known Before Turning 40

10 Things I Wish I Had Known Before Turning 40

Worried about turning 40? If so, you’re probably in the majority. But before you decide to buy that new Harley, take a look at a few things I wish I would have known before turning 40.

1: I Wish I Had Kept Track of Old Friends

My life got busy after finishing college. I ending up loosing track of many of the friends I met in classes and residence hall. I have some great friends that I’ve met in the years that have passed, but I wish I would have taken more time to care for relationships with the college roommates who helped me cram for big exams, took care of me when I was under the weather, or talked me through a difficult break-up. I had no idea at the time just how much of an impact those friendships really had on me.

2: I Wish I Had Saved More Money When I Was Younger

Back in high school, my economics teacher explained how if each of us saved a few hundred dollars each month, the magic of compound interest would see that we were millionaires by our 50s. I was way too young then to heed such sage financial advice, so of course I spent much of the next decade spending money on movie nights with friends, expensive restaurants, and the latest and greatest clothing. Don’t get me wrong, some of my favorite memories are from going out with friends, but as my 50s get closer and closer, I know that saving that money sooner would have made a huge difference. It could be the difference between retiring at 55 and retiring at 70.

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3: I Wish I Had Not Burned Bridges in the Past

In my teens and twenties, I burned a lot of bridges. At times, it was through stupid things like getting offended at a job and quitting rashly. In other cases it came down to cutting off contact with a good friend or ex-girlfriend over petty disagreements. What I didn’t know then was that every positive relationship can be built on in the future. You’d be surprised how many co-workers you run into who have connections with a company you were at previously, or how many people you meet who knew an ex or an old friend of your’s.

4: I Wish I Had Traveled More as a Young Adult

In some countries, young adults take a year off to travel extensively, while staying in hostels and backpacking. There are huge benefits to traveling while you’re young. However, instead of taking the time to see the world or volunteer abroad, I was anxious to get to work. With financial commitments that have increased as the years have passed, I seldom have the money to travel abroad. Unfortunately, I may have to wait until retirement to enjoy some of those experiences.

5: I Wish I Had Taken Better Care of My Body

While being over 40 doesn’t mean that I am ancient by any means, I can definitely see differences in my body. I wish I would have begun to focus earlier on caring for my joints while maintaining my weight. Instead I’ve spent far too much time focusing on heavy weight lifting without giving much regard to proper pain management. I also envy people who embraced healthy eating when they were young, maintaining a healthy weight and building good habits over the years.

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6: I Wish I Had Been Kinder to Others

Now that I am older, I realize how important small acts of kindness are. We are all connected in some way. There is no reason to become hostile with waitresses or customer service reps over petty things. Taking time for little things, like letting someone with two items pass me at the grocery store when I have an overflowing cart would have been, in retrospect, well worth the sacrifice.

7: I Wish I Had Learned to Not Worry Constantly

I don’t know if worrying is really the cause of some of these wrinkles and gray hairs, but I do know that constant worrying can affect the chemicals in the brain. Most things tend to work themselves out in the end. I’ve found that shifting my focus to the things I can control, helps keep the stress away and keeps me more in tune with my family and the things that matter most.

8: I Wish I Hadn’t Collected So Much “Stuff”

Over the years, I have filled my home with a lot of stuff that I didn’t really need. Many of these “useless” items were expensive. All of these things represent wasted money and require space, leading to the necessity for a bigger house just to store all of the stuff. In recent years I’ve tried to adopt a much more minimalist lifestyle, funneling more money into paying down debts and investing in things I really want/need. My “stuff” collection has dwindled, leaving my home and my mind more clear and free.

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9: I Wish I Had Known How Important Hobbies Are

When I was younger, I spent plenty of time on hobbies to keep me occupied in my spare time. Playing sports with buddies, hitting the golf range, or reading books were welcome breaks from responsibilities at school and work. As I’ve gotten older and the focus has shifted more directly to family and work, many of these hobbies have fallen by the wayside. Having a hobby is a great way to keep yourself active and keep your mind sharp.

10: I Wish I Would have Realized That the Mind Stays Young

Although I may look 40, my mind thinks I am a teenager in many ways. I still want to do many of the things I neglected to do at a younger age. This is actually one of the more pleasant aspects of aging because it means that I can still have fun and learn new things. I can choose to make new friends, change my diet, and go back to the golf course. Turning 40 has given me a new perspective on life, on my priorities, and what I want the future to look like.

Don’t slow down. 40 can be the start of your next great adventure, a time to invest in what matters the most, and a chance to start fresh! What are you going to accomplish in your next 40 years?

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Featured photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/aigle_dore/ via flickr.com

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Jimmy Winskowski

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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