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20 Things A Truly Great Partner Doesn’t Do

20 Things A Truly Great Partner Doesn’t Do

Being a great partner means certain characteristics are displayed. A great partner doesn’t do any of these things.

1. They don’t belittle your dreams

Great partners see your success as part of their success. They want you to achieve great things and they will support you on the path you are trying to take.

2. They don’t constantly remind you of your failures

Granted we all make mistakes and fail sometimes. But a great partner does not make a big deal out of your failures or mistakes.

3. They don’t disrespect you in public

Great partners know that you are an integral part of their world. They could scorn you privately but never will they give you a public shaming.

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4. They don’t exert control on your world

Great partners offer you the freedom to excel. They are not domineering and they wouldn’t want to twist your arm to always do what they want.

5. They don’t seek vengeance

They do not always find an avenue to pay a tooth for a tooth or an eye for an eye. They would find a way to move on with you rather than seek revenge for every hurt you direct at them.

6. They don’t encroach on your space

Even in a relationship everyone needs his/her space. A great partner will respect that you need your space and there is a life outside the relationship as well.

7. They don’t feel indifferent to your feelings

They are concerned about how you feel and will never abandon you to deal with certain emotional situations alone.

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8. The don’t take the superior position

They see you as a partner and do not belittle or consider you inferior. Rather they want you to be part of every decision they make.

9. They don’t disappoint you

If they want you in their world a great partner will be there to keep to his promises and stand up to any responsibility he commits himself to as regards to.

10. They don’t make you feel insecure

They are not threatening or want to impose themselves on you. Rather they complement and make you feel you are part of a team.

11. They don’t constantly disapprove of everything you do

They do not see you as a pain and disapprove of every action you take. If you need some counsel or advice they are willing to offer it to you.

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12. They don’t expose every aspect of the relationship to the world

Great partners keep certain things in your relationship private. They understand that the relationship is just between two of you.

13. They don’t treat you like a disposable object

A great partner appreciates you. He/she knows that you are special and keeps you that way. They want to treat you as something they can keep.

14. They don’t think they are always perfect

A great partner knows that he/she will make mistakes and when they do they don’t think they are always right.

15. They don’t always disbelieve you

A great partner trusts you. He knows that you are part of his success and has no reason to continue disbelieving everything you say.

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16. They don’t tell you demeaning jokes

Humor can be used as medium of mockery and sarcasm. A great doesn’t humor to abuse you but to make you happy.

17. They don’t blame you for their problems

They don’t see you as a hindrance to their success rather they see you as someone who makes them happy.

18. They don’t become sensitive when you make a joke

When you throw a joke at a great partner they can laugh at them and see the humor in it.

19. They don’t make you feel as if you are not good enough

A great partner knows you are not just good enough for them but great and everything they need.

20. They don’t force you to prove your love

They know that you have the right to show your love and they are not accusing of things to make you feel as if you don’t care.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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