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8 Acts You Might Be Doing To Kill Your Kid’s Creativity

8 Acts You Might Be Doing To Kill Your Kid’s Creativity

It’s a sad truth that some of the world’s best minds are stifled at a young age simply because society has forced them into doing so. Parents are not to blame for this, per se, as for the most part they are doing what they’ve read or been told is right. However, some actions parents take in regard to raising their children unfortunately might be doing more harm than good.

1. Giving Extrinsic Rewards

Okay, it’s definitely easiest to promise an extra scoop of ice cream if your child completes his homework, or practices her piano for a half hour. But by doing so, you’re ingraining two detrimental notions within their growing minds: One, that they should only do work if there is a reward offered; and two, that what they’re doing is actually work. Yes, I understand homework is not the most fun thing in the world to do, but by doing it, and doing it right, it will make learning the next step that much easier. If a child associates playing an instrument with hard work, he won’t be free to get creative with it. Instead, reward a job well done with a more fun piece of music, or a math puzzle that relates to the night’s homework. Every task has some menial part to it, but the reward for completing tasks should relate specifically to the skills built while working through the menial parts.

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2. Over-scheduling

In an effort to making their kids an expert at something, parents often sign their children up for way too many things. Karate, soccer, swimming lessons, and art classes? All this will do is make them a jack of all trades, and master of none. Too often, kids feel like they “have to go to baseball practice tonight,” instead of actually looking forward to it. How many of us, as adults, would want to be up and about until 9PM after a long day’s work, and still have to come home and do more work before bed? I know there are people that function that way, but the truth is they are probably cyborgs. The most successful minds in history have spoken out about the benefits of downtime. It’s when the mind is free from stress and having to follow a regiment that it is able to reflect on the day’s events, and prepare itself for the following day. With no downtime, children go through life never truly being prepared.

3. Limiting choices

On the other hand, giving a child too little to do will also stifle her creativity. I’m sure many parents have experienced this: You go out and buy an expensive toy, playset, etc. that comes in a huge box, and hours later find your kid playing with…the box. Of course, you’re not happy about it because you just spent $200 on cardboard. But to that child, it’s not a box; it’s a spaceship, a train, or a dollhouse. The lesson here is, children see the world differently than adults, and by forcing our narrow viewpoint upon them, we kill their imagination. I’ll let Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson explain this a little further.

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4. Shadowing or hovering

As a kid, I remember absolutely hating when a teacher would circle the room and check over my shoulder while I was completing a task. I always felt like I had better be right, or else I’d be completely embarrassed and never want to show my face in class again. It also made me feel incredibly rigid, so I would make sure I was doing the work her way, and wouldn’t deviate from the set instructions given. Children need to feel free to go about things in their own way, and find their own solutions. If children are constantly just repeating instructions, there will never be any innovation in their thought process.

5. Making them fear failure

Simply put: everyone fears failure. But without failure, success wouldn’t feel as sweet as it does. Unfortunately, we ingrain in our children the idea that failure is a dead end road, with no turning back. This can’t be farther from the truth. In fact, failure is simply a bump in the road to success. You wouldn’t turn back to home if you hit a pothole, right? (I mean, unless you get a flat, but stay with me here). Often, finding the right way to go about solving a problem is all about finding the ways not to go about solving it, and changing your approach. Children need to understand that failure is inevitable, but is able to be conquered. The only way failure wins is if they stop trying altogether.

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6. Rushing them

A notion that is sadly overlooked in today’s society is the idea that children are simply new to life. They truly do not have the experience adults have to understand concepts, and they lack the background knowledge we have that makes it easy for us to connect ideas and come to conclusions fairly quickly. Their brain is a muscle that takes time to form connections, and by rushing children through tasks we make it almost certain these connections will not be made. Let them accomplish goals at their own pace. It might take a little longer than expected, but the connections made will last a lifetime, and they will have a much easier go of it the next time they encounter a similar problem.

7. Making everything a competition

Okay, let me start out by saying I’m not all for the “everybody gets a trophy” thing. But placing the idea that they have to “beat” everyone else puts way too much pressure on children. You’ll notice that even the most famous sports stars aren’t simply obsessed with beating the other team; they’re focused on playing their best, and when they do, they end up winning the game. The only person a child should ever feel like he’s competing against is himself. He should approach every obstacle with the goal of being better at it than he was the day before. Not only will he continue to grow on a daily basis, but he will also be humble about his advances, instead of looking at “how much better” or “how much worse” he is at something than everyone else.

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8. Not being creative yourself

There’s a saying in the adult world: “If it looks stupid, but works…it’s not stupid.” A lot of us are afraid of looking…well, looking like children, when it comes to finding solutions to a problem. By stifling our own creativity, we stifle our children’s. We should be the ones who find new ways of doing things, so our children know it’s okay to go off the beaten path once in a while. We should create drums out of empty paint cans and milk jugs instead of throwing them away; we should make our own wrapping paper or greeting cards instead of buying them. It sounds corny, and it is. But the truth is, that’s what our children need. They need to see that we’re not afraid to drop the act and get silly, that it’s normal to be abnormal. When we force ourselves to walk a straight line, our children will follow. When we choose to skip and zig-zag around it, they’ll be right behind us.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm7.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

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Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

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The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

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  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

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If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

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Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

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