Advertising
Advertising

10 Signs You Are Having A Quarter-Life Crisis (But It’s Perfectly Fine)

10 Signs You Are Having A Quarter-Life Crisis (But It’s Perfectly Fine)

Are you going through your twenties, and constantly feel like your life is more weird and confusing than the plot of Inception? Have you got no idea where your career is heading, why your relationships are changing or why you’re feeling so lost all the time?

Fear not. While it may feel like you’re going crazy and your life is falling to pieces before your very eyes, what you’re going through is a rite of passage experienced by everyone as they moved through the turbulent twenties – as your doctor would say (in a very doctor-ish voice), ‘my diagnosis is a Quarter-Life Crisis, and it’s perfectly normal thing for people your age.’

The twenties are often described as a time to set yourself up, lay foundations for the future and learn how to make safe, intelligent life decisions. But if there was a survival pack for your twenties, it would contain a user manual with diagrams of young people being hit repeatedly by large trucks, a bunch of ‘look on the bright side’ quote cards, and a life vest with a whistle that attracts the attention of your parents’ harsh opinions.

Advertising

Put simply, the quarter-life crisis is a time of transitioning from early to late twenties, childhood to adulthood, and adapting to the changes that come with that. But while it can feel banging your head against a cold office desk most of the time, there’s actually nothing to worry about because life takes on a whole new level of meaning and beauty after the storm is over. When you’re going through the eye of a storm, though, it can be challenging to see the full picture and meaning of what you’re feeling.

Here are 10 signs that you’re in the middle of one of these points in your life, and why everything is actually perfectly OK.

1. You suddenly feel like your job is a prison cell and you need to escape

The most easily recognisable sign of a quarter-life crisis is feeling like you’re trapped at work, waiting for a call from Morpheus. It’s is a positive thing because it means you’re being forced to face big career questions head on that will have been eating away at you for some time. You’re realising life is meant to be explored, and having a job with a good salary or job security may be standing in the way of pursuing something you love, whether it be a different career, escaping overseas, working in a different country, or doing something you’ve always wanted to do.

Advertising

2. You daydream about your life when waiting in line for coffee

Studies show daydreaming is a sign of a creative soul, and if you find yourself regularly getting lost in your imagination it means you’re consciously taking control of creating your life, rather than reacting to events around you. As we move through our twenties we become more comfortable being ourselves and choosing our own direction, no matter what others think, and our creativity blossoms as realise we can do anything we want. Don’t just dream it, do it!

3. You get anxious scrolling through Facebook posts about weddings and pregnancies

Your early twenties are consumed by thoughts of competition – trying to go one better than your friends, being seen as successful by your peers, living up to an ideal your parents set. A major shift during a quarter-life crisis is realizing that life is not a game, the competitiveness is useless, and social hierarchies don’t matter. It’s a liberating moment when this all melts into place in your head, but one that often comes after a peak of panic when being in your shoes becomes too much. If you’re not there yet, just know that it’s just an emotional release, and life is so much more beautiful on the other side. Life can’t be planned, and everyone has their own path. It’s what makes life amazing.

4. You realize you have nothing in common with friends from High School any more

It can be a bit of a shock when you first start noticing old friends drift out of your life, particularly if you have a lot of awesome memories from High School or College. When you reach mid twenties you have changed substantially to the person you were at 16 or 17, which means your interests have too. People evolve, and as you mature you realize life is short, and best spent with people who add to it in some way. If you’re seeing some big changes to your social circles, don’t worry – it’s giving you the strength to consciously choose what sort of people you want in your life. And if there’s friend in your life who’s dragging you down, it might be time to break up with them.

Advertising

5. You do something you’ve always wanted to try, but never had the guts to go through with (like join a dance or yoga class)

Most of our lives we get told by others how to live – what should be important to us, how we should plan our careers, what we should spend our time on. I had always wanted to try creative writing but was taught from an early age that money is hard to come by as an artist, and I should try to earn a crust in a high-paying job instead. When I went through my own quarter-life crisis, I told the world to shove it, signed up for a class, and now I have the confidence to share my own expert opinions with the world. A lot of what we believe about the world is only mental, but it can feel so real to us. If you’ve done something random or fun recently (or are planning to), something you’ve always wanted to try, it’s a brilliant sign that you’re going through a shift, and valuing your own happiness over what others say.

6. You stay in on a Saturday night and don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything

It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but it’s totally okay (and smart) to not feel like you need to hit the clubs or go to every party or event you can on the weekend. Although your friends might ridicule you at first, realizing you can do whatever you want on a ‘party night’ (like choosing to Netflix and chill), means you’re listening to your body and paying attention to what it can handle. You’re also choosing to do what you really want instead of listening to the voices of others. It means you’re on a direct path to social enlightenment. Namaste!

7. You freak out whenever someone asks you to commit to something a year away

When you’re feeling on edge about your own plans for the future, anyone trying to get you to commit to something more than a few months away can make you feel anxious and boxed in. Just remember that even if it seems like everyone else have their future worked out, it’s totally OK (and even normal) to hold off on locking in to anything if it doesn’t feel right for you. It means you’re learning to walk to the beat of your own drum, and re-calibrating to focus on living to the rhythm of the present moment. If you’re worried about the ‘freak out’ bit, learning to meditate can totally help with that!

Advertising

8. You can’t understand why you’re still not happy, despite all of your achievements

Stepping back from your life and recognizing something’s wrong is difficult to do, but it’s a sign that you’re heading in the right direction. This means you’re beginning to take ownership of your happiness, and after freaking out about and blowing up all the mistakes you’ve made in your career, you will be in the box seat to steer things in a better direction. Just remember that our ‘I will be happy when’ targets actually change the closer we get to them, so chances are you’ve probably achieved most of what you originally set out to do, so all that’s happened is you’ve changed what you want (which is a very good thing)

9. You start noticing everyday things that you’ve never noticed before 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with making sense of your life right now, you will probably find yourself paying more attention than usual to little things around you, like nature, or the way your friend’s face twitches when they talk, or a new opportunity that’s been right under your nose the whole time. As you surrender to life and give up on trying to control it, past and future fade into the background, and the air you’re breathing takes center stage. your awareness is heightened, you become more relaxed and alert, and you can feel the textures, tastes and smells of everything around you on a grander, more beautiful scale. It’s an amazing place to be, and it’s the reason why you’ve seen so many self-help books around about how to live in the moment.

10. You have realized there’s no such thing as perfect.

This is a sure sign that you’re towards the end of your quarter-life crisis. If you feel anxious reading that sentence, that’s alright – you will get there. Once you fully appreciate that there’s no such thing as perfect, you will be able to get through not only the turbulent period you find yourself in right now, but literally any life crisis after it. Your life is only going off the rails if you believe there are correct rails, or a better train than the one you’re on. And as we grow, we realize there’s no such thing as the perfect train – so sit back in your cabin chair, feel the warmth of the tea cup in your hands, and enjoy the ride.

Featured photo credit: Photo is free license from Unsplash via download.unsplash.com

More by this author

This Is How Negative Emotions Cause Pain On Different Body Parts girl with hood 4 Easy Steps to Becoming a Morning Person (And Making It Stick) girl in quarter-life crisis 10 Signs You Are Having A Quarter-Life Crisis (But It’s Perfectly Fine)

Trending in Communication

1 How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up 2 How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late 3 7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer 4 If You Think You’re in an Unhappy Marriage, Remember These 5 Things 5 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

Advertising

How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

Advertising

A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

Advertising

Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

Advertising

How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

More Resources About Job Interviews

Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

Read Next