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11 Signs Revealed Only In People With True Confidence

11 Signs Revealed Only In People With True Confidence

The image of confidence that we have composed as a society is a bit blurry. Things that are presented as confident behaviour tend to be overly brash, inconsiderate, and aggressive. The most popular image of confidence is a successful businessman/woman willing to hustle, talk, brag, and push their way towards more favourable business environments. This kind of imagery tends to confuse people and push them into developing an overconfident (i.e. fake confidence) which, instead of getting them to move forward, actually holds them back and pushes them towards a bad crowd. This kind of confidence is also hard to maintain because it has no roots from which it stems. It takes too much energy from the person trying to hold onto this kind of personality. It is basically a character people attempt to role-play. This character also rarely comes naturally.

The thing that we are going to try to outline here is what defines a truly naturally confident person. These things can extend to the business sphere of our lives, but they are never exclusively tied to it. Let’s see what behaviour marks truly confident people.

1. They do not rely on outside compliments for a confidence boost

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    To thrive on compliments and praise from others isn’t unnatural or necessarily a bad thing. Still, a person that requires outside positive feedback to function with confidence isn’t someone that we would define as a confident person. Truly confident people retain their personality and attitude even when nobody in particular is praising their work or behaviour. In other words, their productivity and motivation are self-regulated.

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    2. They can accept a compliment

    Getting overly excited about compliments is also an indicator that an individual’s self-confidence isn’t really all that solid. A confident individual will accept a compliment, recognize it, but will not let it impact their internal picture of themselves too much. If each compliment shifts a person’s internal image of themselves, this means that this image isn’t all that stable. This is a requirement for a confident personality.

    3. They can accept criticism as well

    The paradigm works for negative opinions as well. It is not that confident people are not fazed by criticism or that it doesn’t affect them in any way. Confident people don’t act out when they are faced with criticism. They can measure up their action to the criticism they received and react appropriately. Not all criticism comes from a good place. Confident people can be objective about the criticism they receive and get the best out of it. They don’t feel threatened because they realize that they are only human after all, and as humans, they are prone to making mistakes so they do the next logical thing instead. They learn from them.

    4. They do not crack under social pressure

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      Our personality is inevitably influenced by our social environment, friends, family, celebrities, teachers, and so on. Still, we all have our weird quirks and interests that are not commonly shared by the rest of society. One example of this is the fact that people keep reptiles and snakes as pets even though most people get the creeps from these animals. The reasons for this have actually been explained scientifically. A truly confident person will not evict their favourite pet on account of other people’s pressure. This can be transferred on all other aspects of life.

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      5. They avoid bragging

      There are few clearer indicators of a lack of confidence than constant bragging. The desire to be constantly in the spotlight and asking for attention by loudly boasting about various things are usually a defence mechanism for people who are not really satisfied with their internal image and who lack stability. Confident people; on the other hand, share their confidence with the people whose opinion they truly value. They avoid talking about their success, professional or otherwise, with people who are not obviously interested in their achievements. Humbleness is not excluded by confidence, quite the contrary.

      6. They are not afraid of other people’s success

      Truly being satisfied with your current success and yourself as a person eliminates feeling envious of other people’s success. True confidence means that somebody else’s success doesn’t send you into a spiral of self-doubt and reevaluation. This in turn allows them to feel truly happy for the good things happening in other people’s lives. This allows them to learn from other people’s success. This is also why it is easier for them to make changes. Confident people have a much easier time making that transformation from a couch potato to an active individual because they learn from others and are motivated by their success.

      7. They ask for help when they need it

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        Humans are social beings for a reason. Nobody can go through life without ever relying on help from friends, family, and co-workers. Holding on to pride and struggling to resolve each and every life issue on your own will get you nothing but struggle and hardship. Confidence means accepting that you have either made a mistake or are unable to resolve something alone and that you need help from somebody who is better at handling problems of that type. Relying on the experience of others and watching them handle difficult situations you couldn’t resolve are important parts of learning and personal growth.

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        8. They are not afraid to make a change

        The comfort zone is a cosy place to be in. There are more than a few people out there that wouldn’t leave their comfort zone for anything in the world — which is quite okay. However, there are a lot of situations where the things we desire are outside of our comfort zone. That important first step that leads us into the unknown requires some of that true confidence. Also, while the changes that are beneficial to us as people might be questionable in the eyes of our social environment, we can also require those same traits. Baldness is something that is socially acceptable, but a confident person wouldn’t have a problem with resolving this issue if they thought that the quality of their life would improve, regardless of the judgement they might receive from their social environment. Change comes from within, not from social pressure.

        9. They listen more than they talk

        While we are on the subject of learning, confident people do not feel the need to constantly impart their experiences and opinions upon others. They are aware that there are quite a lot of ways to go through life and are interested in hearing about them. They also realize that in order to establish a healthy relationship, you need to do some listening as well as talking. They don’t feel a need to make themselves more presentable by talking for ages. Their confidence makes them a good listener, and this helps them connect to people better.

        10. They rely on guilt to improve, but don’t hold on to it

        Confidence is not a shield against guilt, this is more where denial steps in to “save the day”. Confidence creates room for acceptance and sets the grounds for change. Guilt is there to help us realize we have made a mistake and that we should improve some aspect of our life or personality that requires recognition, acceptance, and action. True confidence helps us avoid crumbling under guilt and gives us the space to grow from it.

        11. They are not afraid to argue and be wrong

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          I’m not trying to say that they are pushy and that they will run head-first into any argument, but they will not step back from an argument even if they are not 100% sure if the point they are defending is the right one. Most people will avoid an argument and sidestep confrontation, whether they feel that they are right or wrong. The risk of being wrong in front of other people and seeming stupid or silly is too great. Only with true confidence can you accept the fact that you can’t always be right and can’t win every argument. It also helps you realize that there is no humiliation in being wrong.

          Keep in mind that real confidence is something you work on. It’s something that takes time and patience! The road is paved with NOT GIVING UP! You will doubt yourself, you will feel fear, and you will make mistakes. Thankfully, confidence doesn’t revolve about being perfect. It involves owning up to your imperfections and learning to feel comfortable with yourself despite them. If I had to outline truly confident people, I would have to say that these are people who feel comfortable in their own skin. It is as simple as that.

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          Vladimir Zivanovic

          CMO at MyCity-Web

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          Last Updated on December 9, 2019

          What Makes a Good Leader: 10 Critical Leadership Qualities

          What Makes a Good Leader: 10 Critical Leadership Qualities

          The word “leader” makes you think of people in charge. High-ranking people – your boss, politicians, presidents, CEOs…

          But leadership really isn’t about a particular position or a person’s seniority. Just because someone has worked for many years doesn’t mean he has gained the qualities and skills to lead a team.

          Getting promoted to a managerial position doesn’t automatically turn you into a leader either. CEOs and other high-ranking officials don’t always have great leadership skills.

          So what makes a good leader? What are the characteristics of a leader?

          Good leadership is about acquiring and honing skills. Leadership skills enable you to be a role model for a team in any environment. With great leadership qualities, successful leaders come in all shapes and sizes: in the home, at school, or at the workplace.

          The following is a list of characteristics of a leader who successfully leads a great team:

          1. Stay Positive, Even in the Worst Situations

          Great leaders know that they won’t have a happy and motivated team unless they themselves exhibit a positive attitude. This can be done by remaining positive when things go wrong and, by creating a relaxed and happy atmosphere in the workplace.

          Even some simple things like providing cupcakes or beers on Fridays can make the world of difference. An added perk is that team members are likely to work harder and do overtime when needed if they’re happy and appreciated.

          Even in the worst situations such as experiencing low team morale or team members having made a big mistake at work, a great leader stays positive and figure out ways to keep the team motivated to solve the problems.

          Walt Disney (1901-1966), had his share of hardships and challenges; and like any great leader, he managed to stay positive and find new opportunities. In 1928, Disney found that his film producer, Charles Mintz, wanted to reduce his payments for the Oswald series. Mintz threatened to cut ties entirely if Disney didn’t accept his terms, and Disney chose to part ways. But in leaving Oswald, Disney decided to create something new: the iconic Mickey Mouse.

            What Can You Learn from Walt Disney?

            Break down huge challenges into smaller ones and find ways to tackle them one by one.

            Think about the lessons you can learn from the mistake and jot them down — Because sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

            2. Exhibit Confidence Everywhere

            All great leaders have to exhibit an air of confidence if they’re going to succeed. Please don’t confuse this with self-satisfaction and arrogance. You want people to look up to you for inspiration, not so they can punch you in the face.

            Confidence is important because people will be looking to you on how to behave, particularly if things aren’t going 100% right. If you remain calm and poised, team members are far more likely to as well. As a result, morale and productivity will remain high and the problem will be solved more quickly.

            If you panic and give up, they will know immediately and things will simply go down hill from there.

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            Elon Musk is a great example of a leader with confidence. He truly believes that Tesla will be successful, which he has shown many times through his actions. He converted 532,000 stock options at $6.63 each, their value on Dec. 4, 2009, before Tesla went public. It was a hefty bargain considering Tesla’s stock price stood at around $195 per share at that time. He doesn’t apologize for his beliefs and has drawn fire from just about everyone for his political actions.

              What Can You Learn from Elon Musk?

              You can’t instantly become a very confident person, but all the small things you do every day will gradually make you more confident:

              • List 10 things you like about yourself every day (something different every day), and you’ll be more confident about yourself.
              • Work on your strengths, do your best to enhance them.

              3. Have a Sense of Humor

              It’s imperative for any kind of leader to have a sense of humor, particularly when things go wrong. And they will.

              Your team members are going to be looking to you for how to react in a seemingly dire situation. It would probably be best if you weren’t stringing up a noose for yourself in the corner. You need to be able to laugh things off, because if staff morale goes down, so will productivity.

              Establish this environment prior to any kind of meltdown by encouraging humor and personal discussions in the work place.

              As president, Barack Obama exuded confidence and calm during stressful situations. But he was also known for his “dad jokes”,[1] his genuinely funny speeches at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and appearing on Zack Galifianakis’s Between Two Ferns.[2] Obama’s sense of humor made him grounded, realistic, and honest – no doubt that helped during some tense moments in the White House!

                What Can You Learn from Barak Obama?

                Laugh at yourself. Confident people laugh about their own silly mistakes, others will also trust you more because you’re willing to share your experiences.

                Be observant and learn from the jokes others make. You can also get a lot of inspirations from the internet.

                4. Embrace Failures and Manage Set Backs

                No matter how hard you try to avoid it, failures will happen; that’s okay. You just need to know how to deal with them.

                Great leaders take them in strides. They remain calm and logically think through the situation and utilize their resources. What they don’t do is fall apart and reveal to their team how worried they are, which leads to negative morale, fear and binge-drinking under desks.

                Great leaders do in fact lead, even when they’re faced with setbacks.

                Henry Ford experienced a major setback after designing and improving the Ford Quadricycle. He founded the Detroit Automobile Company in 1899, but the resulting cars they produced did not live up to his standards and were too expensive. The company dissolved in 1901. Ford took this in stride and formed the Henry Ford Company. The sales were slow and the company had financial problems; it wasn’t until 1903 that the Ford Motor Company was successful and put the Ford on the map.

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                  What Can You Learn from Walt Disney?

                  Get to the root cause of any problem so you can prevent it from happening again and learn from the mistake.

                  To do this, use the 5 Whys problem solving framework.

                  By asking “why” for 5 times (or more) on why something happened, you can find out the key factor that caused the problem and can find the best solution to tackle the problem.

                  You’ll also learn how to prevent this from happening again in the future after finding out a problem’s root cause.

                  5. Listen, and Give Feedback

                  This is far more complex than it actually sounds. Good communication skills are essential for a great leader. You may very well understand the cave of crazy that is your brain, but that doesn’t mean that you can adequately take the ideas out of it and explain them to someone else.

                  The best leaders need to be able to communicate clearly with the people around them. They also need to be able to interpret other people properly and not take what they say personally.

                  The Dalai Lama, as a symbol of the unification of the state of Tibet, represents and practices Buddhist values. The Dalai Lama’s leadership is benevolent and aims toward truth and understanding, alongside the other Buddhist precepts. This is a great example for all leaders: if you want to give good directions to others, you have to get feedback from others to understand the situation properly.

                    What Can You Learn from Dalai Lama?

                    Encourage communication between team members and establishing an open door policy.

                    Practice not to interrupt team members when they’re talking.

                    Summarize what they say and ask for feedback every time after you have talked about your ideas.

                    6. Know How and When to Delegate

                    No matter how much you might want to, you can’t actually do everything yourself. Even if you could, in a team environment that would be a terrible idea anyway.

                    Good leaders recognize that delegation does more than simply alleviate their own stress levels (although that’s obviously a nice perk). Delegating to others shows that you have confidence in their abilities, which subsequently results in higher morale in the workplace, as well as loyalty from your staff. They want to feel appreciated and trusted.

                    Although Steve Jobs is known for focusing in on the smallest of details, he knew how to delegate. By finding, cultivating, and trusting capable team members – like Tim Cook – Jobs was able to make Apple run smoothly, even while he had to be absent for extended periods of time.

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                      What Can You Learn from Steve Jobs?

                      To know when and how to delegate work to team members, you have to be very familiar with each of them:

                      • List out all of their strengths, weaknesses and personalities.
                      • Talk with your team members more too to know more about their passion and interests.

                      Take a look at this guide and learn more about delegation: How to Delegate Work Effectively (The Definitive Guide for Leaders)

                      7. Inspire and Grow People Around

                      Any good leader knows how important it is to develop the skills of those around them. The best can recognize those skills early on. Not only will development make work easier as they improve and grow, it will also foster morale. In addition, they may develop some skills that you don’t possess that will be beneficial to the workplace.

                      Great leaders share their knowledge with the team and give them the opportunity to achieve. This is how leaders gain their respect and loyalty.

                      Pope Francis has been unusually popular with many Catholics and many non-Catholics. His position isn’t totally traditional, which is part of his appeal, but he also has admirable leadership skills. Pope Francis’s TED talk drew attention, because he encouraged leaders to be humble and to demonstrate solidarity with others. This inclusive, kind, and respectful style of leadership is incredibly important for any situation.

                        What Can You Learn from Pope Francis?

                        Spend time to talk with other team members individually to understand them.

                        Find out team members’ current challenges and try to give feedback and encouragement so they will grow and do better.

                        8. Take Responsibility and Never Blame Others

                        Great leaders know that when it comes to their company, work place or whatever situation they’re in, they need to take personal responsibility for failure. How can they expect employees to hold themselves accountable if they themselves don’t?

                        The best leaders don’t make excuses; they take the blame and then work out how to fix the problem as soon as possible. This proves that they’re trustworthy and possess integrity.

                        Howard Gillman is the chancellor of UC Irvine. You might have heard of how the university rescinded a bunch of acceptances, and then changed its mind.[3] This past spring, an unusually high number of accepted students decided to matriculate; the school initially responded by rescinding offers over things like missed deadlines. But the college realized this was a mistake and reversed its decision. Gillman and the university accepted responsibility and decided to move past their earlier bad decision.

                          What Can You Learn from Howard Gillman?

                          Ask yourself what you could have done better to prevent this from happening.

                          Take the responsibility and think about what you can do better to prevent this from happening next time.

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                          9. Make Decisions Based on Lessons Learned in the Past

                          It’s safe to say that all great leaders will have to enter unchartered waters at some point during their career (figuratively, of course). Because of this, they have to be able to trust their intuition and draw on past experiences to guide them.

                          Great leaders know that there’s always something to learn from everything they have experienced before. They are able to connect the present challenges with the lessons learned in the past to make decisions and take actions promptly.

                          You can either recall what you’ve learned from your memories, or search from your notes (ideally, a software that you can access anywhere with things well-organized).

                          Warren Buffett, one of the richest people in the world, has mostly made the right calls. But in dealing with huge amounts of money, Buffett has also made several multi-million (and sometimes multi-billion) dollar mistakes. He has stated that buying the company Berkshire Hathaway was his biggest mistake.[4] From that poor choice, he realized that it was unwise to pursue “improvements” and “expansions” in the existing textile industry. Despite mistakes like this, Buffett has invested wisely – and it shows.

                            What Can You Learn from Warren Buffett?

                            Write down lessons you’ve learned from any mistakes you’ve made.

                            Have all the lessons well organized and  when similar things happen again in future, take these lessons as references.

                            10. Lead by Example and Commit to Do the Best

                            Great leaders stick to their commitments and promises, and they are the most committed and hard working ones on the job. All great leaders lead by example.

                            Why should your staff and team members give it their all if you don’t bother to? By proving your own commitment, great leaders will inspire others to do the same, as well as earn their respect and instill a good work ethic.

                            After 15 years of house arrest, Aung San Suu Kyi was voted state counsellor in Myanmar – one of the highest-profile and most powerful positions in the country. She became a symbol of peaceful resistance when she attempted to bring democracy to her country.[5] In the early years of her detention, she was often in solitary confinement. Suu Kyi is a perfect example of committed and belief-driven leadership, which she openly demonstrated during her many years of house arrest.

                              What Can You Learn from Aung San Suu Kyi?

                              Some people learn by observing the way you perform a task, some need more detailed guidelines.

                              So dedicate time to demonstrate your work to team members, let them observe how you do it. Summarize the skills you use and let team members know how you make difficult things work.

                              The Bottom Line

                              Leadership traits are learnable. If you practice consistently, you can be a great leader too.

                              Make small changes your habits when you work with your team – wherever that may be. Most of us aren’t presidents or CEOs.

                              But we all work with other people, and our actions always impact others. This gives every person the chance to develop leadership skills and to stand out from the crowd.

                              More About Leadership

                              Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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