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11 Signs Revealed Only In People With True Confidence

11 Signs Revealed Only In People With True Confidence

The image of confidence that we have composed as a society is a bit blurry. Things that are presented as confident behaviour tend to be overly brash, inconsiderate, and aggressive. The most popular image of confidence is a successful businessman/woman willing to hustle, talk, brag, and push their way towards more favourable business environments. This kind of imagery tends to confuse people and push them into developing an overconfident (i.e. fake confidence) which, instead of getting them to move forward, actually holds them back and pushes them towards a bad crowd. This kind of confidence is also hard to maintain because it has no roots from which it stems. It takes too much energy from the person trying to hold onto this kind of personality. It is basically a character people attempt to role-play. This character also rarely comes naturally.

The thing that we are going to try to outline here is what defines a truly naturally confident person. These things can extend to the business sphere of our lives, but they are never exclusively tied to it. Let’s see what behaviour marks truly confident people.

1. They do not rely on outside compliments for a confidence boost

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    To thrive on compliments and praise from others isn’t unnatural or necessarily a bad thing. Still, a person that requires outside positive feedback to function with confidence isn’t someone that we would define as a confident person. Truly confident people retain their personality and attitude even when nobody in particular is praising their work or behaviour. In other words, their productivity and motivation are self-regulated.

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    2. They can accept a compliment

    Getting overly excited about compliments is also an indicator that an individual’s self-confidence isn’t really all that solid. A confident individual will accept a compliment, recognize it, but will not let it impact their internal picture of themselves too much. If each compliment shifts a person’s internal image of themselves, this means that this image isn’t all that stable. This is a requirement for a confident personality.

    3. They can accept criticism as well

    The paradigm works for negative opinions as well. It is not that confident people are not fazed by criticism or that it doesn’t affect them in any way. Confident people don’t act out when they are faced with criticism. They can measure up their action to the criticism they received and react appropriately. Not all criticism comes from a good place. Confident people can be objective about the criticism they receive and get the best out of it. They don’t feel threatened because they realize that they are only human after all, and as humans, they are prone to making mistakes so they do the next logical thing instead. They learn from them.

    4. They do not crack under social pressure

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      Our personality is inevitably influenced by our social environment, friends, family, celebrities, teachers, and so on. Still, we all have our weird quirks and interests that are not commonly shared by the rest of society. One example of this is the fact that people keep reptiles and snakes as pets even though most people get the creeps from these animals. The reasons for this have actually been explained scientifically. A truly confident person will not evict their favourite pet on account of other people’s pressure. This can be transferred on all other aspects of life.

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      5. They avoid bragging

      There are few clearer indicators of a lack of confidence than constant bragging. The desire to be constantly in the spotlight and asking for attention by loudly boasting about various things are usually a defence mechanism for people who are not really satisfied with their internal image and who lack stability. Confident people; on the other hand, share their confidence with the people whose opinion they truly value. They avoid talking about their success, professional or otherwise, with people who are not obviously interested in their achievements. Humbleness is not excluded by confidence, quite the contrary.

      6. They are not afraid of other people’s success

      Truly being satisfied with your current success and yourself as a person eliminates feeling envious of other people’s success. True confidence means that somebody else’s success doesn’t send you into a spiral of self-doubt and reevaluation. This in turn allows them to feel truly happy for the good things happening in other people’s lives. This allows them to learn from other people’s success. This is also why it is easier for them to make changes. Confident people have a much easier time making that transformation from a couch potato to an active individual because they learn from others and are motivated by their success.

      7. They ask for help when they need it

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        Humans are social beings for a reason. Nobody can go through life without ever relying on help from friends, family, and co-workers. Holding on to pride and struggling to resolve each and every life issue on your own will get you nothing but struggle and hardship. Confidence means accepting that you have either made a mistake or are unable to resolve something alone and that you need help from somebody who is better at handling problems of that type. Relying on the experience of others and watching them handle difficult situations you couldn’t resolve are important parts of learning and personal growth.

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        8. They are not afraid to make a change

        The comfort zone is a cosy place to be in. There are more than a few people out there that wouldn’t leave their comfort zone for anything in the world — which is quite okay. However, there are a lot of situations where the things we desire are outside of our comfort zone. That important first step that leads us into the unknown requires some of that true confidence. Also, while the changes that are beneficial to us as people might be questionable in the eyes of our social environment, we can also require those same traits. Baldness is something that is socially acceptable, but a confident person wouldn’t have a problem with resolving this issue if they thought that the quality of their life would improve, regardless of the judgement they might receive from their social environment. Change comes from within, not from social pressure.

        9. They listen more than they talk

        While we are on the subject of learning, confident people do not feel the need to constantly impart their experiences and opinions upon others. They are aware that there are quite a lot of ways to go through life and are interested in hearing about them. They also realize that in order to establish a healthy relationship, you need to do some listening as well as talking. They don’t feel a need to make themselves more presentable by talking for ages. Their confidence makes them a good listener, and this helps them connect to people better.

        10. They rely on guilt to improve, but don’t hold on to it

        Confidence is not a shield against guilt, this is more where denial steps in to “save the day”. Confidence creates room for acceptance and sets the grounds for change. Guilt is there to help us realize we have made a mistake and that we should improve some aspect of our life or personality that requires recognition, acceptance, and action. True confidence helps us avoid crumbling under guilt and gives us the space to grow from it.

        11. They are not afraid to argue and be wrong

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          I’m not trying to say that they are pushy and that they will run head-first into any argument, but they will not step back from an argument even if they are not 100% sure if the point they are defending is the right one. Most people will avoid an argument and sidestep confrontation, whether they feel that they are right or wrong. The risk of being wrong in front of other people and seeming stupid or silly is too great. Only with true confidence can you accept the fact that you can’t always be right and can’t win every argument. It also helps you realize that there is no humiliation in being wrong.

          Keep in mind that real confidence is something you work on. It’s something that takes time and patience! The road is paved with NOT GIVING UP! You will doubt yourself, you will feel fear, and you will make mistakes. Thankfully, confidence doesn’t revolve about being perfect. It involves owning up to your imperfections and learning to feel comfortable with yourself despite them. If I had to outline truly confident people, I would have to say that these are people who feel comfortable in their own skin. It is as simple as that.

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          Vladimir Zivanovic

          CMO at MyCity-Web

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          Last Updated on January 15, 2021

          7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

          7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

          The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

          Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

          Posture

          First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

          • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
          • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
          • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
          • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

          All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

          Facial Expressions

          Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

          • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
          • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
          • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

          If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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          1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

          A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

          The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

          This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

          2. Relax Your Face

          New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

          The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

          To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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          3. Improve Your Eye Contact

          Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

          The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

          To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

          3. Smile More

          There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

          Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

          4. Hand Gestures

          Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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          It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

          5. Enhance Your Handshake

          In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

          “Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

          It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

          6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

          As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

          Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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          Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

          Final Takeaways

          Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

          If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

          More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

          Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

          Reference

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