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11 Signs Revealed Only In People With True Confidence

11 Signs Revealed Only In People With True Confidence

The image of confidence that we have composed as a society is a bit blurry. Things that are presented as confident behaviour tend to be overly brash, inconsiderate, and aggressive. The most popular image of confidence is a successful businessman/woman willing to hustle, talk, brag, and push their way towards more favourable business environments. This kind of imagery tends to confuse people and push them into developing an overconfident (i.e. fake confidence) which, instead of getting them to move forward, actually holds them back and pushes them towards a bad crowd. This kind of confidence is also hard to maintain because it has no roots from which it stems. It takes too much energy from the person trying to hold onto this kind of personality. It is basically a character people attempt to role-play. This character also rarely comes naturally.

The thing that we are going to try to outline here is what defines a truly naturally confident person. These things can extend to the business sphere of our lives, but they are never exclusively tied to it. Let’s see what behaviour marks truly confident people.

1. They do not rely on outside compliments for a confidence boost

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    To thrive on compliments and praise from others isn’t unnatural or necessarily a bad thing. Still, a person that requires outside positive feedback to function with confidence isn’t someone that we would define as a confident person. Truly confident people retain their personality and attitude even when nobody in particular is praising their work or behaviour. In other words, their productivity and motivation are self-regulated.

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    2. They can accept a compliment

    Getting overly excited about compliments is also an indicator that an individual’s self-confidence isn’t really all that solid. A confident individual will accept a compliment, recognize it, but will not let it impact their internal picture of themselves too much. If each compliment shifts a person’s internal image of themselves, this means that this image isn’t all that stable. This is a requirement for a confident personality.

    3. They can accept criticism as well

    The paradigm works for negative opinions as well. It is not that confident people are not fazed by criticism or that it doesn’t affect them in any way. Confident people don’t act out when they are faced with criticism. They can measure up their action to the criticism they received and react appropriately. Not all criticism comes from a good place. Confident people can be objective about the criticism they receive and get the best out of it. They don’t feel threatened because they realize that they are only human after all, and as humans, they are prone to making mistakes so they do the next logical thing instead. They learn from them.

    4. They do not crack under social pressure

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      Our personality is inevitably influenced by our social environment, friends, family, celebrities, teachers, and so on. Still, we all have our weird quirks and interests that are not commonly shared by the rest of society. One example of this is the fact that people keep reptiles and snakes as pets even though most people get the creeps from these animals. The reasons for this have actually been explained scientifically. A truly confident person will not evict their favourite pet on account of other people’s pressure. This can be transferred on all other aspects of life.

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      5. They avoid bragging

      There are few clearer indicators of a lack of confidence than constant bragging. The desire to be constantly in the spotlight and asking for attention by loudly boasting about various things are usually a defence mechanism for people who are not really satisfied with their internal image and who lack stability. Confident people; on the other hand, share their confidence with the people whose opinion they truly value. They avoid talking about their success, professional or otherwise, with people who are not obviously interested in their achievements. Humbleness is not excluded by confidence, quite the contrary.

      6. They are not afraid of other people’s success

      Truly being satisfied with your current success and yourself as a person eliminates feeling envious of other people’s success. True confidence means that somebody else’s success doesn’t send you into a spiral of self-doubt and reevaluation. This in turn allows them to feel truly happy for the good things happening in other people’s lives. This allows them to learn from other people’s success. This is also why it is easier for them to make changes. Confident people have a much easier time making that transformation from a couch potato to an active individual because they learn from others and are motivated by their success.

      7. They ask for help when they need it

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        Humans are social beings for a reason. Nobody can go through life without ever relying on help from friends, family, and co-workers. Holding on to pride and struggling to resolve each and every life issue on your own will get you nothing but struggle and hardship. Confidence means accepting that you have either made a mistake or are unable to resolve something alone and that you need help from somebody who is better at handling problems of that type. Relying on the experience of others and watching them handle difficult situations you couldn’t resolve are important parts of learning and personal growth.

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        8. They are not afraid to make a change

        The comfort zone is a cosy place to be in. There are more than a few people out there that wouldn’t leave their comfort zone for anything in the world — which is quite okay. However, there are a lot of situations where the things we desire are outside of our comfort zone. That important first step that leads us into the unknown requires some of that true confidence. Also, while the changes that are beneficial to us as people might be questionable in the eyes of our social environment, we can also require those same traits. Baldness is something that is socially acceptable, but a confident person wouldn’t have a problem with resolving this issue if they thought that the quality of their life would improve, regardless of the judgement they might receive from their social environment. Change comes from within, not from social pressure.

        9. They listen more than they talk

        While we are on the subject of learning, confident people do not feel the need to constantly impart their experiences and opinions upon others. They are aware that there are quite a lot of ways to go through life and are interested in hearing about them. They also realize that in order to establish a healthy relationship, you need to do some listening as well as talking. They don’t feel a need to make themselves more presentable by talking for ages. Their confidence makes them a good listener, and this helps them connect to people better.

        10. They rely on guilt to improve, but don’t hold on to it

        Confidence is not a shield against guilt, this is more where denial steps in to “save the day”. Confidence creates room for acceptance and sets the grounds for change. Guilt is there to help us realize we have made a mistake and that we should improve some aspect of our life or personality that requires recognition, acceptance, and action. True confidence helps us avoid crumbling under guilt and gives us the space to grow from it.

        11. They are not afraid to argue and be wrong

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          I’m not trying to say that they are pushy and that they will run head-first into any argument, but they will not step back from an argument even if they are not 100% sure if the point they are defending is the right one. Most people will avoid an argument and sidestep confrontation, whether they feel that they are right or wrong. The risk of being wrong in front of other people and seeming stupid or silly is too great. Only with true confidence can you accept the fact that you can’t always be right and can’t win every argument. It also helps you realize that there is no humiliation in being wrong.

          Keep in mind that real confidence is something you work on. It’s something that takes time and patience! The road is paved with NOT GIVING UP! You will doubt yourself, you will feel fear, and you will make mistakes. Thankfully, confidence doesn’t revolve about being perfect. It involves owning up to your imperfections and learning to feel comfortable with yourself despite them. If I had to outline truly confident people, I would have to say that these are people who feel comfortable in their own skin. It is as simple as that.

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          Vladimir Zivanovic

          CMO at MyCity-Web

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          Published on May 4, 2021

          How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

          How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

          They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

          In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

          How to Spot Fake People?

          When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

          Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

          1. Full of Themselves

          Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

          Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

          2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

          Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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          It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

          3. Zero Self-Reflection

          To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

          Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

          4. Unrealistic Perceptions

          Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

          A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

          5. Love Attention

          As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

          6. People Pleaser

          Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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          Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

          7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

          Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

          8. Crappy friend

          Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

          It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

          The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

          How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

          It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

          There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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          1. Boundaries

          Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

          2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

          Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

          3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

          If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

          4. Ask for Advice

          If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

          Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

          5. Dig Deeper

          Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

          Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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          6. Practice Self-Care!

          Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

          Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

          Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

          Final Thoughts

          Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

          We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

          More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

          Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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