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Last Updated on November 18, 2019

10 Things Only Those Who Travel With Friends Understand

10 Things Only Those Who Travel With Friends Understand

Traveling with your best friend can be truly amazing. You get to make memories that will last forever while spending time with somebody who gets you more than any other person. So much awesomeness rolled into a single vacation. Here are some of the most amazing things you learn traveling with your best friend!

1. You share stuff even words can’t capture

That gorgeous sunset might make a nice picture, but really the cool colors are not what makes this moment special. When you are there with your best friend, you don’t have to convey why its special. You are your bestie just get it in a way you don’t even need to describe.

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2. You feel incredibly invincible afterward

Traveling can be a bit intense, but after overcoming all the challenges with your best friend, you will feel ready to take on the world. Wherever your next adventure takes you, you will be ready to take it all in stride. Food poisoning, getting lost on the subway, and transportation breakdowns all feel like part of the adventure because you’ve already survived it with your bestie.

3. You know you’re unstoppable when working together

Totally lost in the streets of Madrid? No problem! Your bestie is a wiz at reading the map and you are awesome at asking for directions, even if your Spanish is a little sketchy. With a bit of team work, you are back on the right path. Nothing like working as a team with someone as cool as your best friend.

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4. You know how great it is to have someone help you stay safe

Sometimes we get carried away and have a drink or two more than we should. Or maybe we’ve just stayed out a little later than was smart. When you travel with friends, you know that someone is there to help you out. Things will not get too out of hand because you are with your best friend.

5. You have awesome stories to relive

Whether you and your best friend are trying to impress people at the dinner table, or you are just looking for a way to lighten your spirits, those shared experiences truly give you something awesome to reflect on. These moments can help you take on new challenges, feel better about those you have already overcome, and continue living your life to the fullest.

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6. You learned stuff about your bestie, even though you already knew everything

Traveling with your best friend reveals stuff that just never comes up in everyday life. You get to see your bestie in new situations and find out even more about your favorite person. Some of these things your best friend might not have even known themselves. Learning new stuff is awesome and what a better way to discover it than on some amazing adventure.

7. Your travel down time was NEVER BORING

Stuck for an hour in the train station? No problem! With your bestie by your side this is the perfect opportunity for a dance party, or gossip fest, or whatever you and your bestie do best! That time is usually a drag, but when your best friend is with you, every moment is an opportunity for awesomeness.

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8. You got an honest opinion about whatever you considered buying

While those leather pants seemed like a really great idea to you, your best friend was right by your side to help you avoid that disaster. When you travel with your bestie, you know you’ve got someone there to help you make good choices.

9. You never had time to feel homesick

Your best friend is like a little piece of home that travels with you. With the friendly laugh and smiling face of your bestie, there is no way you could feel homesick. And that is an awesome way to spend your vacation.

10. You have LEGENDARY Pictures of your adventures

Since you and your bestie are on the same page, you took some epic pictures on your journey of awesomeness. These are pictures your family members will be talking about for generations. And its all thanks to having such a great travel buddy.

Featured photo credit: Nathan Dumlao via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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