An outgoing introvert is a rare and special creature. We don’t fall into the specific boundaries of extrovert or introvert – we are a unique mixture of the two. While it may take a little extra effort to understand an outgoing introvert, you will find your life changed for the better when you do. We are definitely puzzles worth solving.
Here are 9 things to remember before you date an outgoing introvert.
1. It takes us some time to find the right words
Our introverted side causes us to live in our heads quite a bit. Our extroverted side wants to talk and share feelings. When you combine the two, you get someone who has really important things to say but may need some time to get the words right. Be patient with us and you will be rewarded with true and meaningful conversation.
2. We need a little time to ourselves every day
We enjoy your company and love being around others, but we give so much during these encounters that it drains us. We need some time every day to simply be quiet and recharge. This might mean sitting in the sun for ten minutes or taking a yoga class. Either way, give us that space and don’t take it personally. It has nothing to do with you.
3. We try to cancel plans at the last minute
The extrovert in us wants to socialize and be around others, but the introvert gets nervous and bored at the thought of small talk and awkward conversations. Gently remind us what a good time we will have, and know that we will most likely be the life of the party once we arrive.
4. We have a constant inner dialogue with ourselves
We tend to live in our heads, and are even known to talk to ourselves out loud. We are constantly analyzing the past and planning for the future. It’s not that we aren’t enjoying ourselves or having fun. It is just hard to turn off our inner voice. We want someone who can help us get out of our head and really enjoy the present moment.
5. You can skip the small talk
We want deep and real conversation. We don’t have the patience for small talk or awkward silences. We don’t need your life story in the first date, but get ready to be honest and straightforward and ask interesting questions. If you mention reality tv, the weather, gossip or shopping, don’t expect that call for a second date.
6. Don’t post about our relationship on social media
We are extroverts, so we enjoy the socializing that Facebook and Twitter offer. But remember, we are also introverts, which means we choose to share our lives with just a few very close people. We would much rather receive a heart felt phone call or email from you than see a picture of our first date on Instagram.
7. We want to meet your friends, but not all at once
We want to meet the important people in your life, but only one or two at a time. We become self-conscious in a big group of people we don’t know. We want you to show us off, so please allow us to shine our brightest by saving the introductions for small dinner parties instead of company BBQs.
8. Be ready to take the reigns
Because we appear outgoing and confident on the outside, people often let us make most decisions on our own. This can be exhausting for us. We occasionally just want to be told where we are going to dinner and what time to be ready, without having to plan everything ourselves.
9. We are different from anyone else you have dated
We are confident, beautiful, fun, creative, independent and grounded. We are also self-conscious, questioning, reserved, introspective and searching. We will make you feel like the most important person in the world, and will support your strengths and dreams. We will also need some extra encouragement during our quiet days.
If you are willing to walk the line between the two, you could find the perfect partner for life.
Featured photo credit: Thomas Leuthard via flickr.com