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9 Things To Remember Before You Date An Outgoing Introvert

9 Things To Remember Before You Date An Outgoing Introvert

An outgoing introvert is a rare and special creature. We don’t fall into the specific boundaries of extrovert or introvert – we are a unique mixture of the two. While it may take a little extra effort to understand an outgoing introvert, you will find your life changed for the better when you do. We are definitely puzzles worth solving.

Here are 9 things to remember before you date an outgoing introvert.

1. It takes us some time to find the right words

Our introverted side causes us to live in our heads quite a bit. Our extroverted side wants to talk and share feelings. When you combine the two, you get someone who has really important things to say but may need some time to get the words right. Be patient with us and you will be rewarded with true and meaningful conversation.

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2. We need a little time to ourselves every day

We enjoy your company and love being around others, but we give so much during these encounters that it drains us. We need some time every day to simply be quiet and recharge. This might mean sitting in the sun for ten minutes or taking a yoga class. Either way, give us that space and don’t take it personally. It has nothing to do with you.

3. We try to cancel plans at the last minute

The extrovert in us wants to socialize and be around others, but the introvert gets nervous and bored at the thought of small talk and awkward conversations. Gently remind us what a good time we will have, and know that we will most likely be the life of the party once we arrive.

4. We have a constant inner dialogue with ourselves

We tend to live in our heads, and are even known to talk to ourselves out loud. We are constantly analyzing the past and planning for the future. It’s not that we aren’t enjoying ourselves or having fun. It is just hard to turn off our inner voice. We want someone who can help us get out of our head and really enjoy the present moment.

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5. You can skip the small talk

We want deep and real conversation. We don’t have the patience for small talk or awkward silences. We don’t need your life story in the first date, but get ready to be honest and straightforward and ask interesting questions. If you mention reality tv, the weather, gossip or shopping, don’t expect that call for a second date.

6. Don’t post about our relationship on social media

We are extroverts, so we enjoy the socializing that Facebook and Twitter offer. But remember, we are also introverts, which means we choose to share our lives with just a few very close people. We would much rather receive a heart felt phone call or email from you than see a picture of our first date on Instagram.

7. We want to meet your friends, but not all at once

We want to meet the important people in your life, but only one or two at a time. We become self-conscious in a big group of people we don’t know. We want you to show us off, so please allow us to shine our brightest by saving the introductions for small dinner parties instead of company BBQs.

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8. Be ready to take the reigns

Because we appear outgoing and confident on the outside, people often let us make most decisions on our own. This can be exhausting for us. We occasionally just want to be told where we are going to dinner and what time to be ready, without having to plan everything ourselves.

9. We are different from anyone else you have dated

We are confident, beautiful, fun, creative, independent and grounded. We are also self-conscious, questioning, reserved, introspective and searching. We will make you feel like the most important person in the world, and will support your strengths and dreams. We will also need some extra encouragement during our quiet days.

If you are willing to walk the line between the two, you could find the perfect partner for life.

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Featured photo credit: Thomas Leuthard via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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