Advertising
Advertising

9 Ways To Pump Success From The Unsuccessful

9 Ways To Pump Success From The Unsuccessful

Each and every one of us heads down the pathway towards success at some point during our time on Earth. While many of us seemingly fall away from our trails, often due to lack of proper tools or resources, a number have the potential of completing their journeys with enough time to fully embellish their victories. Unfortunately, we find ourselves defeat more often than success.

I’ve outlined the nine most useful ways to pump success back into your life, which is plenty of opportunity to write your own success story. No particular order applies to the following.

1. Spend 30 Days Documenting Your Every Movement

A journal that you record daily events such as encounters, failures, successes and thoughts can assist you to making proper adjustments in future situations. We can always learn more about ourselves if we’re consistently reminded of what we’ve endured thus far. For thirty days, summarize what specifically you’re doing; right or wrong really doesn’t matter as it’s an honest account of your daily activities that matters most.

Advertising

2. Find A Guide

Everyone trekking down the illustrious path towards success needs a guide who can be there, via phone or some other method of communication. Your ideal guide has been down your path or one similar to yours and can provide needed guidance should you seek it. Yes, this can be a family member or a friend; the most important aspect of this method is finding someone who’s fallen on his ass and found his way back. Why? He’s doing something (or several somethings) you’re not.

3. Perform A Fearless Moral Inventory

Sounds like an AA/NA step, right? Well, it is.  Except you’ll substitute an addictive substance for your moral, financial, or spiritual bankruptcy. Be honest with yourself; whether you’re a saint or not, write down how so and why. Be specific in notating what led you down this path. The more forthcoming you are with the dictation of your entire life’s failures, the better angle you’ll give yourself when improving your unsuccessful ways. Just remember, friends, a business that doesn’t track inventory will eventually go broke.

4. Budget Downtime Into Your Daily Routine

Humans become weary after long uninterrupted stints of effort. You may not necessarily be physically tired, but you can be emotionally worn out. Therefore, a respectable amount of “me time” gives you the opportunity to recuperate for the next day. It’s an ingenious tool which equates to taking a time-out in football; failure wants to smash through your defense, which means you’ll need to formulate an offensive plan to score a victory.  This allocated time, spent whenever you have the most mental energy, allows you to formulate a more well-rounded offensive strategy based off what’s failed prior to your current day. Downtime, in other words, gives each day’s events an equivocal amount of purpose and sustenance.

Advertising

5. Nourish Your Body, Mind and Soul

In order to have the necessary physical or mental energy to carry forth your ‘success mission’, you need some form of nourishment – this can come in the form of foodstuffs, literature, or some type of tribulation that could challenge your mental or physical prowess to advance well beyond your normal capacities. Believe it or not, some of today’s more widely known success coaches, billionaires, and thought leaders not only read often, they meditate and consume foods indicative to clean bodies such as juice diets and a good balance of the recommended daily allowance of nutrients.

6. Know What You Want, Not What Others Want For You

It’s noteworthy to mention how so many times in life we’re consumed with the desires of others. By no means is success defined as what your family pushes you to accomplish; don’t feel obliged to live their fantasy. Don’t walk through life holding someone else’s dreams or unfinished missions, and don’t be fooled into thinking you’re wrong for denying requests to become a doctor, football player, or cheerleader solely based off what your friends or parents couldn’t accomplish themselves. We’ve enough politicians morally bankrupting the American Dream; don’t let outside influences ruin your dream!

7. Ask Questions Often

Don’t be afraid to ask difficult questions, receive criticism, and ask even more questions. Record the answers. Presenting questions, theories, and arguing with individuals could be just enough for you to gain valuable insight that wasn’t available before. What do I do if someone tells me to ‘bug off‘? Ask someone else, my friend. Then stop dwelling on the ‘what if’s in life.

Advertising

8. Flip Status Quo The Bird

Can you honestly say everything society tells us about righteous living and pro-social interaction is correct? Is success really a measure of how fat our checking and IRA accounts are? If you honestly believe hogwash mass media puts into your mind, you’ll never enjoy the true meaning of freedom, let alone success. Give status quo a nice throat punch and work towards goals that better your situation (called YMMV, or your mileage may vary, in internet ebonics). Forget those actions which are recommended by professionals (many which will admit they’re unhappy) and study the path of those who took chances in order to enjoy success.

9. LOL More Than You SMH

Are you sharing miserable news more than funny memes on social media? What percentage of conversations have you laughing as opposed to mudslinging? Much can be said about our own walks simply by our engagement level in conversations, our social media habits, and our quickness towards judging others as opposed to uplifting them. Reader’s Digest didn’t lie when they chose to develop their 2-3 page joke column entitled Laughter, The Best Medicine. Consistent negativity is often waving a white flag; instead, the more you find yourself laughing out loud with others, the less stress you tend to harbor.

Conclusion

While many people begin down the path toward success unprepared and inevitably fail, an increasing number of individuals from all walks and ages become a burgeoning success in their personal journeys simply by planning instead of expecting, and by listening and learning rather than talking and doubting. Accomplishment is work; success is earned.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Defining Success in Your Career / Dress for Success via blog.dressforsuccess.org

More by this author

success 9 Ways To Pump Success From The Unsuccessful

Trending in Communication

1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next