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Five Reasons to Just Say “No” to The Dad Bod

Five Reasons to Just Say “No” to The Dad Bod

Lately, everyone seems to be talking about dad bods- a male body type characterized by a beer gut, lack of muscles, and unsightly tan lines. Word is, women go crazy for this body type. But here’s the problem: there’s no evidence for that. The original article that kicked off the dad bod craze provided zero evidence that women like the dad bod, beyond stating the the author’s roommate used to be into it. Subsequent articles simply cited this first article, or each other, as evidence.

In fact, scientists have been studying both male and female visual attractiveness for decades, so there’s no need to guess at what women are attracted to. Here’s what the science actually says.

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1.  Women prefer fit men

There have been many, many studies on what women actually find attractive in a man, and they always come to the same conclusion: women like men with athletic figures.  Specifically, women show a strong preference for guys with broad shoulders and narrow waists.  Women also have a slight preference for guys with broad, muscular chests.

This doesn’t mean that women like guys who look like bodybuilders, and it doesn’t mean you need to start taking steroids and eating 5 pounds of steak a day.The ideal male physique appears to be closer to Brad Pitt’s look in Fight Club, which is entirely achievable to the average guy if he’s willing to work for it. So, instead of trading your gym membership for a beer collection, try to trim some weight off your midsection and add a few pounds to your shoulders.

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2.  Muscular men have more sex than flabby men

Traditional stereotypes hold that big guys with ripped abs and huge arms get laid like rock stars, while guys who are out of shape struggle with women. On the other hand, the recent dad bod trend suggests the reverse; that guys with flabbier physiques should be getting more female attention than they can handle.  So which is it?

According to researchers at UCLA, the stereotypes win this round. More muscular men have significantly more sex with more partners. Burly guys are also twice as likely to have short flings or one night stands, compared to less muscular men. Once again though, men who are toned and moderately muscular seem to have an edge over men who are downright huge.

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3.  Dad beards aren’t sexy

Quick, what style of facial hair do you associate with fathers- clean shaven, stubble, or full beards? Research shows that most people, both male and female, view men with full beards as ideal fathers. Men also tend to think that bearded men are the most attractive, but women disagree– they think men with heavy stubble are the most attractive, with the light stubble, full beard, and clean-shaven looks all tied for a distant second place.

The takeaway: if you’re desperate to have kids and looking for a woman to be your baby momma, a beard might be the way to go. On the other hand, if you’re like the 95% of guys who want to look sexy, think less Billy Mays and more Colin Farrell.

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4.  The dad bod makes you look like everyone else

Now I’ll admit that this one isn’t based on science- just cold, hard common sense. Look at the guys around you next time you’re out and about. Count the number of dad bods you see. Now, bearing in mind just how many guys are rocking the dad bod, how do you stand out with one? To get extraordinary results in your love life, you need to be an extraordinary guy- and it helps if you look the part by making the effort to be an attractive man.

5. You’ll tend to date women who look like you

All of this talk about the dad bod carries a strong implication that men with dad bods can attract the hottest women – the models, the beach babes, the sexy librarians. Yet science says that just isn’t true. Instead, what happens is assortative mating, a process by which people pair off with people who are much like themselves. In other words, guys with dad bods end up with women who have the same body type, toned women end up with toned men, and so on.

This applies to non-physical qualities too – smart men end up with smart women, artistic men end up with artistic women, and so on. So being an attractive man ultimately comes down to one thing: identify your ideal woman, and become the male counterpart to that ideal woman.

Featured photo credit: Triumphant/Tony Alter via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

Being in a hurry all the time drains your energy. Your work and routine life make you feel overwhelmed. Getting caught up in things beyond your control stresses you out…

If you’d like to stay calm and cool in stressful situations, put the following 8 steps into practice:

1. Breathe

The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation that makes you want to hurry, stop what you’re doing for one minute and perform the following steps:

  • Take five deep breaths in and out (your belly should come forward with each inhale).
  • Imagine all that stress leaving your body with each exhale.
  • Smile. Fake it if you have to. It’s pretty hard to stay grumpy with a goofy grin on your face.

Feel free to repeat the above steps every few hours at work or home if you need to.

2. Loosen up

After your breathing session, perform a quick body scan to identify any areas that are tight or tense. Clenched jaw? Rounded shoulders? Anything else that isn’t at ease?

Gently touch or massage any of your body parts that are under tension to encourage total relaxation. It might help to imagine you’re in a place that calms you: a beach, hot tub, or nature trail, for example.

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3. Chew slowly

Slow down at the dinner table if you want to learn to be patient and lose weight. Shoveling your food down as fast as you can is a surefire way to eat more than you need to (and find yourself with a bellyache).

Be a mindful eater who pays attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of every dish. Chew slowly while you try to guess all of the ingredients that were used to prepare your dish.

Chewing slowly will also reduce those dreadful late-night cravings that sneak up on you after work.

4. Let go

Cliche as it sounds, it’s very effective.

The thing that seems like the end of the world right now?

It’s not. Promise.

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Stressing and worrying about the situation you’re in won’t do any good because you’re already in it, so just let it go.

Letting go isn’t easy, so here’s a guide to help you:

21 Things To Do When You Find It Hard To Let Go

5. Enjoy the journey

Focusing on the end result can quickly become exhausting. Chasing a bold, audacious goal that’s going to require a lot of time and patience? Split it into several mini-goals so you’ll have several causes for celebration.

Stop focusing on the negative thoughts. Giving yourself consistent positive feedback will help you grow patience, stay encouraged, and find more joy in the process of achieving your goals.

6. Look at the big picture

The next time you find your stress level skyrocketing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

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Will this matter to me…

  • Next week?
  • Next month?
  • Next year?
  • In 10 years?

Hint: No, it won’t.

I bet most of the stuff that stresses you wouldn’t matter the next week, maybe not even the next day.

Stop agonizing over things you can’t control because you’re only hurting yourself.

7. Stop demanding perfection of yourself

You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Show me a person who claims to be perfect and I’ll show you a dirty liar.

Demanding perfection of yourself (or anybody else) will only stress you out because it just isn’t possible.

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8. Practice patience every day

Below are a few easy ways you can practice patience every day, increasing your ability to remain calm and cool in times of stress:

  • The next time you go to the grocery store, get in the longest line.
  • Instead of going through the drive-thru at your bank, go inside.
  • Take a long walk through a secluded park or trail.

Final thoughts

Staying calm in stressful situations is possible, all you need is some daily practice.

Taking deep breaths and eat mindfully are some simple ways to train your brain to be more patient. But changing the way you think of a situation and staying positive are most important in keeping cool whenever you feel overwhelmed and stressful.

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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