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Five Reasons to Just Say “No” to The Dad Bod

Five Reasons to Just Say “No” to The Dad Bod

Lately, everyone seems to be talking about dad bods- a male body type characterized by a beer gut, lack of muscles, and unsightly tan lines. Word is, women go crazy for this body type. But here’s the problem: there’s no evidence for that. The original article that kicked off the dad bod craze provided zero evidence that women like the dad bod, beyond stating the the author’s roommate used to be into it. Subsequent articles simply cited this first article, or each other, as evidence.

In fact, scientists have been studying both male and female visual attractiveness for decades, so there’s no need to guess at what women are attracted to. Here’s what the science actually says.

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1.  Women prefer fit men

There have been many, many studies on what women actually find attractive in a man, and they always come to the same conclusion: women like men with athletic figures.  Specifically, women show a strong preference for guys with broad shoulders and narrow waists.  Women also have a slight preference for guys with broad, muscular chests.

This doesn’t mean that women like guys who look like bodybuilders, and it doesn’t mean you need to start taking steroids and eating 5 pounds of steak a day.The ideal male physique appears to be closer to Brad Pitt’s look in Fight Club, which is entirely achievable to the average guy if he’s willing to work for it. So, instead of trading your gym membership for a beer collection, try to trim some weight off your midsection and add a few pounds to your shoulders.

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2.  Muscular men have more sex than flabby men

Traditional stereotypes hold that big guys with ripped abs and huge arms get laid like rock stars, while guys who are out of shape struggle with women. On the other hand, the recent dad bod trend suggests the reverse; that guys with flabbier physiques should be getting more female attention than they can handle.  So which is it?

According to researchers at UCLA, the stereotypes win this round. More muscular men have significantly more sex with more partners. Burly guys are also twice as likely to have short flings or one night stands, compared to less muscular men. Once again though, men who are toned and moderately muscular seem to have an edge over men who are downright huge.

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3.  Dad beards aren’t sexy

Quick, what style of facial hair do you associate with fathers- clean shaven, stubble, or full beards? Research shows that most people, both male and female, view men with full beards as ideal fathers. Men also tend to think that bearded men are the most attractive, but women disagree– they think men with heavy stubble are the most attractive, with the light stubble, full beard, and clean-shaven looks all tied for a distant second place.

The takeaway: if you’re desperate to have kids and looking for a woman to be your baby momma, a beard might be the way to go. On the other hand, if you’re like the 95% of guys who want to look sexy, think less Billy Mays and more Colin Farrell.

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4.  The dad bod makes you look like everyone else

Now I’ll admit that this one isn’t based on science- just cold, hard common sense. Look at the guys around you next time you’re out and about. Count the number of dad bods you see. Now, bearing in mind just how many guys are rocking the dad bod, how do you stand out with one? To get extraordinary results in your love life, you need to be an extraordinary guy- and it helps if you look the part by making the effort to be an attractive man.

5. You’ll tend to date women who look like you

All of this talk about the dad bod carries a strong implication that men with dad bods can attract the hottest women – the models, the beach babes, the sexy librarians. Yet science says that just isn’t true. Instead, what happens is assortative mating, a process by which people pair off with people who are much like themselves. In other words, guys with dad bods end up with women who have the same body type, toned women end up with toned men, and so on.

This applies to non-physical qualities too – smart men end up with smart women, artistic men end up with artistic women, and so on. So being an attractive man ultimately comes down to one thing: identify your ideal woman, and become the male counterpart to that ideal woman.

Featured photo credit: Triumphant/Tony Alter via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 20, 2018

10 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

10 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

A new year beautifully symbolizes a new chapter opening in the book that is your life. But while so many people like you aspire to achieve ambitious goals, only 12% of you will ever experience the taste of victory. Sound bad? It is. 156 million people (that’s 156,000,000) will probably give up on their resolution before you can say “confetti.” Keep on reading to learn why New Year’s resolutions fail (and how to succeed).

Note: Since losing weight is the most common New Year’s resolution, I chose to focus on weight loss (but these principles can be applied to just about any goal you think of — make it work for you!).

1. You’re treating a marathon like a sprint.

Slow and steady habit change might not be sexy, but it’s a lot more effective than the “I want it ALL and I want it NOW!” mentality. Small changes stick better because they aren’t intimidating (if you do it right, you’ll barely even notice them!).

If you have a lot of bad habits today, the last thing you need to do is remodel your entire life overnight. Want to lose weight? Stop it with the crash diets and excessive exercise plans. Instead of following a super restrictive plan that bans anything fun, add one positive habit per week. For example, you could start with something easy like drinking more water during your first week. The following week, you could move on to eating 3 fruits and veggies every day. And the next week, you could aim to eat a fistful of protein at every meal.

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2. You put the cart before the horse.

“Supplementing” a crappy diet is stupid, so don’t even think about it. Focus on the actions that produce the overwhelming amount of results. If it’s not important, don’t worry about it.

3. You don’t believe in yourself.

A failure to act can cripple you before you leave the starting line. If you’ve tried (and failed) to set a New Year’s resolution (or several) in the past, I know it might be hard to believe in yourself. Doubt is a nagging voice in your head that will resist personal growth with every ounce of its being. The only way to defeat doubt is to believe in yourself. Who cares if you’ve failed a time or two? This year, you can try again (but better this time).

4. Too much thinking, not enough doing.

The best self-help book in the world can’t save you if you fail to take action. Yes, seek inspiration and knowledge, but only as much as you can realistically apply to your life. If you can put just one thing you learn from every book or article you read into practice, you’ll be on the fast track to success.

5. You’re in too much of a hurry.

If it was quick-and-easy, everybody would do it, so it’s in your best interest to exercise your patience muscles.

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6. You don’t enjoy the process.

Is it any wonder people struggle with their weight when they see eating as a chore and exercise as a dreadful bore? The best fitness plan is one that causes the least interruption to your daily life. The goal isn’t to add stress to your life, but rather to remove it.

The best of us couldn’t bring ourselves to do something we hate consistently, so make getting in shape fun, however you’ve gotta do it. That could be participating in a sport you love, exercising with a good friend or two, joining a group exercise class so you can meet new people, or giving yourself one “free day” per week where you forget about your training plan and exercise in any way you please.

7. You’re trying too hard.

Unless you want to experience some nasty cravings, don’t deprive your body of pleasure. The more you tell yourself you can’t have a food, the more you’re going to want it. As long as you’re making positive choices 80-90% of the time, don’t sweat the occasional indulgence.

8. You don’t track your progress.

Keeping a written record of your training progress will help you sustain an “I CAN do this” attitude. All you need is a notebook and a pen. For every workout, record what exercises you do, the number of repetitions performed, and how much weight you used if applicable. Your goal? Do better next time. Improving your best performance on a regular basis offers positive feedback that will encourage you to keep going.

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9. You have no social support.

It can be hard to stay motivated when you feel alone. The good news? You’re not alone: far from it. Post a status on Facebook asking your friends if anybody would like to be your gym or accountability buddy. If you know a co-worker who shares your goal, try to coordinate your lunch time and go out together so you’ll be more likely to make positive decisions. Join a support group of like-minded folks on Facebook, LinkedIn, or elsewhere on the internet. Strength in numbers is powerful, so use it to your advantage.

10. You know your what but not your why.

The biggest reason why most New Year’s resolutions fail: you know what you want but you not why you want it.

Yes: you want to get fit, lose weight, or be healthy… but why is your goal important to you? For example:

Do you want to be fit so you can be a positive example that your children can admire and look up to?

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Do you want to lose fat so you’ll feel more confident and sexy in your body than ever before?

Do you want to be healthy so you’ll have increased clarity, energy, and focus that would carry over into every single aspect of your life?

Whether you’re getting in shape because you want to live longer, be a good example, boost your energy, feel confident, have an excuse to buy hot new clothes, or increase your likelihood of getting laid (hey, I’m not here to judge) is up to you. Forget about any preconceived notions and be true to yourself.

  • The more specific you can make your goal,
  • The more vivid it will be in your imagination,
  • The more encouraged you’ll be,
  • The more likely it is you will succeed (because yes, you CAN do this!).

I hope this guide to why New Year’s resolutions fail helps you achieve your goals this year. If you found this helpful, please pass it along to some friends so they can be successful just like you. What do you hope to accomplish next year?

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