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Five Reasons to Just Say “No” to The Dad Bod

Five Reasons to Just Say “No” to The Dad Bod

Lately, everyone seems to be talking about dad bods- a male body type characterized by a beer gut, lack of muscles, and unsightly tan lines. Word is, women go crazy for this body type. But here’s the problem: there’s no evidence for that. The original article that kicked off the dad bod craze provided zero evidence that women like the dad bod, beyond stating the the author’s roommate used to be into it. Subsequent articles simply cited this first article, or each other, as evidence.

In fact, scientists have been studying both male and female visual attractiveness for decades, so there’s no need to guess at what women are attracted to. Here’s what the science actually says.

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1.  Women prefer fit men

There have been many, many studies on what women actually find attractive in a man, and they always come to the same conclusion: women like men with athletic figures.  Specifically, women show a strong preference for guys with broad shoulders and narrow waists.  Women also have a slight preference for guys with broad, muscular chests.

This doesn’t mean that women like guys who look like bodybuilders, and it doesn’t mean you need to start taking steroids and eating 5 pounds of steak a day.The ideal male physique appears to be closer to Brad Pitt’s look in Fight Club, which is entirely achievable to the average guy if he’s willing to work for it. So, instead of trading your gym membership for a beer collection, try to trim some weight off your midsection and add a few pounds to your shoulders.

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2.  Muscular men have more sex than flabby men

Traditional stereotypes hold that big guys with ripped abs and huge arms get laid like rock stars, while guys who are out of shape struggle with women. On the other hand, the recent dad bod trend suggests the reverse; that guys with flabbier physiques should be getting more female attention than they can handle.  So which is it?

According to researchers at UCLA, the stereotypes win this round. More muscular men have significantly more sex with more partners. Burly guys are also twice as likely to have short flings or one night stands, compared to less muscular men. Once again though, men who are toned and moderately muscular seem to have an edge over men who are downright huge.

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3.  Dad beards aren’t sexy

Quick, what style of facial hair do you associate with fathers- clean shaven, stubble, or full beards? Research shows that most people, both male and female, view men with full beards as ideal fathers. Men also tend to think that bearded men are the most attractive, but women disagree– they think men with heavy stubble are the most attractive, with the light stubble, full beard, and clean-shaven looks all tied for a distant second place.

The takeaway: if you’re desperate to have kids and looking for a woman to be your baby momma, a beard might be the way to go. On the other hand, if you’re like the 95% of guys who want to look sexy, think less Billy Mays and more Colin Farrell.

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4.  The dad bod makes you look like everyone else

Now I’ll admit that this one isn’t based on science- just cold, hard common sense. Look at the guys around you next time you’re out and about. Count the number of dad bods you see. Now, bearing in mind just how many guys are rocking the dad bod, how do you stand out with one? To get extraordinary results in your love life, you need to be an extraordinary guy- and it helps if you look the part by making the effort to be an attractive man.

5. You’ll tend to date women who look like you

All of this talk about the dad bod carries a strong implication that men with dad bods can attract the hottest women – the models, the beach babes, the sexy librarians. Yet science says that just isn’t true. Instead, what happens is assortative mating, a process by which people pair off with people who are much like themselves. In other words, guys with dad bods end up with women who have the same body type, toned women end up with toned men, and so on.

This applies to non-physical qualities too – smart men end up with smart women, artistic men end up with artistic women, and so on. So being an attractive man ultimately comes down to one thing: identify your ideal woman, and become the male counterpart to that ideal woman.

Featured photo credit: Triumphant/Tony Alter via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 17, 2019

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

Listen carefully:

We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

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The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

1. Pray Daily

You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

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If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

3. Smile Often

Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

4. Organize Your Working Desk

A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

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5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

How do you do that? This is my formula:

First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

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If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

8. Go Exercise

Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

The Bottom Line

It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

More Resources About Mindfulness

Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

Reference

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