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15 Signs You Have Become More Mature Though You Don’t Even Know It

15 Signs You Have Become More Mature Though You Don’t Even Know It

I’ve always resisted growing up. When I was younger I used to think that, with enough effort, you could preserve the mindset of a child; alas, this isn’t true. I mean, this is a common occurrence among young people—not wanting to grow up—but growing up is a natural thing and believe it or not, it is a good thing. The thing with growing up is that it really creeps up on you, and it happens without you even realizing. It has a lot to do with your ability to introspect and learn from experience, but the result of the process is not always obvious and straightforward.

The thing is, most people in their 20s and 30s don’t really get how far they have grown and how grown up they actually are. Let us open your eyes and show you how far you have actually gotten. The signs are subtle, but they are most definitely there.

1. You take time more seriously.

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    One of the clearest signs that you’re maturing is that you realize that how you manage time is one of the more important aspects of your life. Immature people don’t really think about time, and tend to waste quite a lot of it. They also tend to disregard other people’s time quite often and don’t realize why people get mad when they complain about their tardiness.

    2. You confront responsibilities head on.

    If you no longer have those moments where you keep procrastinating, all the while feeling guilty that you are not paying attention to all those responsibilities waiting for you, then congratulations, you are growing up. A mature person knows that he/she will feel much better if they handle the work first and then relax with a clear conscience.

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    3. You plan things out.

    Impulsivity and spontaneity are things reserved for younger people. I’m not saying that mature people can’t show these qualities, but they don’t usually make life moves based purely on a gut instinct. Making big decisions like that can cause serious trouble for you if they go wrong and the less planning there is in your decision-making process, the more likely something is to go sour. For example a mature person is aware of the potential threats when moving, while an immature one takes the whole thing lightly. Carelessness is something you need to resort to in specific situations, not all the time. This is why a mature person will always have at least a broad plan that includes the goals they wish to reach. It is the only way you progress.

    4. You think about your health more often.

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      Most people will think that this is just because as your body gets older, you automatically start paying more attention to health, but actually there are people out there that are quite old and still disregard their health. This has nothing to do with age; it has more to do with the realization that you are not invincible and that regular check-ups help you remain in good physical as well as mental health. This includes checking your home for health hazards which might not be outwardly apparent, like testing for potential mold that can cause respiratory problems, checking your installations for fire hazards and so on. There are quite a few threats that can skulk around the house without you being aware of them.

      5. You feel uncomfortable doing nothing.

      Wasting time used to be my specialty. Back in the day, I could waste an entire day doing absolutely nothing and even make the day seem short in all that nothingness. These days, things are quite a bit different. I tend to strive to fill every minute of my day with things that I consider either useful or enjoyable—in some cases, even both. Sitting around twiddling my thumbs really annoys me and makes me feel useless. Getting there is a process, but if you notice a slight annoyance when you spend an entire day doing nothing even though you have no obligations, then you are on the right way to maturity.

      6. You have less patience for parties and going out.

      Ah, yes, weekends come and go and you haven’t hit the club for months and you’re not even sorry. It used to be that you really felt bad by missing a chance to go paint the town red during the weekend with you friends, but these days, you are not really impressed by what this kind of lifestyle has to offer. You’d much rather enjoy a quiet evening with a nice dinner and a book or a movie before bed. Even when you decide to go out, the hangover that you get tomorrow really proves that it was not quite worth it. Furthermore, you lost an entire day recovering, which is a pretty steep price for one night of debauchery.

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      7. Your circle of friends is a bit smaller.

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        All relationships require energy and a part of growing up is realizing which relationships in your life truly hold great value and which ones do not require you to invest too much into them. Mature people know to show respect to the people in their life that truly matter and don’t waste too much time on causal relationships.

        8. You rely on yourself more.

        Whether it is parents, friends or a romantic partner, immature people always have a go-to person when they get “in trouble.” If you find that you are solving all your problems by yourself and taking responsibility for your own shortcomings, then you can most definitely call yourself a mature person.

        9. You cherish sleep.

        Having an active day on half batteries is quite stressful. Lack of sleep causes sloppiness due to lack of concentration and irritability, and it is terrible for the immune system. With maturity comes the realization that you have your limits and need a good night’s sleep in order to perform at you maximum in everything that you do. Still, it takes some time to find the best routine for yourself and if you have problems adjusting, you might want to research this subject a bit. It sometimes has nothing to do with maturity but with the way you get organized, but sometimes even some tech assistance isn’t too bad.

        10. You focus on self-improvement.

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          It has nothing to do with ambition but with the effort of making your own life better. The more things you know and can do, the better person you become and the easier your life gets. You enjoy progressing and opening up new opportunities and situations for yourself. Experience is key and boredom is the enemy, and a mature person realizes that the more you work on your skillset, the more options you have!

          11. You respect people who make an effort.

          Immature people tend to consider responsible and diligent individuals uptight or overly serious. As you mature, you begin to realize how much passion and energy this kind of devotion actually requires. Furthermore, you want to hear about everyone’s experiences in order to improve yourself. There are tons of things you can learn by simply being patient and listening.

          12. You respect yourself more.

          Mature people have a more stable personality which isn’t rattled by other people’s opinions. If the time when other people’s approval or disapproval could impact your opinion on your decisions is behind you, then you have grown quite a bit.

          13. You have learned to focus more easily.

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            There is a subtle difference between being a day dreamer and letting your mind wander from your tasks. The former is a part of a creative process while the latter is more of an escape from your obligations. If you tend to zone out when bored by your work or other obligations, then you still have some way to go until you reach maturity. If you have managed to find that “On switch” in your mind that let’s you focus instantly, then don’t worry: you are already there.

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            14. You respect your work time.

            Being lazy during the work hours does nothing for you except that it allows work to leak through into your leisure time. This is quite frustrating since you are constantly under the impression that you need to sit down to take care of your work and you can’t ever really relax. Maturity is knowing that you need to keep work and leisure time separate.

            15. You allow yourself to have fun guilt-free.

            Finally, the thing that you realize as a mature person is that the best kind of fun comes out of those times when you are really free to enjoy yourself. No nagging voice inside your head is telling you that you shouldn’t be doing something. You are free to relax and enjoy your free time and let yourself go.

            Maturity is having control over yourself and your life, taking action and being respectful to others no matter your difference of opinion, religion and other things that seem to outwardly divide people. It has nothing to do with age; it has to do with the mindset of a person and his/her desire to grow and become the best version of him/herself. It is a thing a lot of people don’t achieve their entire lives and is something you need to work on actively.

            Reaching maturity is not a moment, it is more of a process and it takes time to get there, but the benefits are pretty good. Don’t overdo it though!

            Featured photo credit: meditation by Elissa Eikelboom via Flickr via flickr.com

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            Aleksandar Ilic

            Blogger, Social Media Butterfly, Guitarist

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            Published on May 4, 2021

            How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

            How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

            They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

            In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

            How to Spot Fake People?

            When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

            Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

            1. Full of Themselves

            Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

            Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

            2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

            Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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            It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

            3. Zero Self-Reflection

            To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

            Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

            4. Unrealistic Perceptions

            Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

            A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

            5. Love Attention

            As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

            6. People Pleaser

            Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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            Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

            7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

            Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

            8. Crappy friend

            Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

            It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

            The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

            How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

            It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

            There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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            1. Boundaries

            Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

            2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

            Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

            3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

            If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

            4. Ask for Advice

            If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

            Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

            5. Dig Deeper

            Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

            Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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            6. Practice Self-Care!

            Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

            Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

            Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

            Final Thoughts

            Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

            We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

            More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

            Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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