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20 Totally Awkward (But Hilarious) Valentine’s Day Cards

20 Totally Awkward (But Hilarious) Valentine’s Day Cards

Whichever situation or stage of a relationship you are in, you’ll able to find a card that brilliantly expresses how you truly feel so you don’t have to say it face-to-face. There’s something for everyone – your bae, almost-lover, single friends, besties, mom or even your ex.

When it’s still ambiguous…

Awkward confession
    Source: diamonddonatello
    awkward-dating-card
      Source: EmilyMcdowell
      unplanned_love
        Source: PeekAOwl

        For the newly attached

        http://valentinesshit.tumblr.com/post/41245976926
          Source: ValentinesShit
          o-VDAY-CARD-THING-570
            Source: EmilyMcdowell

            For those who found love online

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            tinder_card
              grindr_card
                Source: ParadisePapercraft

                For those that have been together for too long…

                still_not_sick
                  Source: kingofcirclelenses
                  il_570xN.570022355_odsm
                    Source: RowHouse14

                    For the friendzoned

                    platonic_vday_card
                      Source: ForTheLoveOfWords

                      For the ex

                      ex_vday_card
                        Source: StrangerDays

                        Send it to your BFF

                        bff_vday_card
                          Source: FunGirlsCards

                          Single, so what?

                          tinder_valentines
                            Source: JulieAnnArt

                            It gets a little geeky

                            If you decide to be a little cheesy. Or find more geeky designs here.

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                            vday_geeky
                              Source: ClassyCardsCreative

                              When analogies would help express it better

                              love_cat
                                Source: TheDetroitCardCo
                                il_570xN.837428432_9qxm
                                  Source: LissaLooStationery

                                  For those who are shy…

                                  choo_choose_valentine
                                    Source: Imgfave
                                    soiloveyou

                                      Source: Sadshop

                                      For those who are *NOT* shy!

                                      delete_clothes
                                        Source: CrimsonandCloverGift
                                        licked_it
                                          Source: SimplySaidPaperie

                                          Featured photo credit: Kathryn Rotondo via flickr.com

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                                          Science Says Screaming Is Good For You

                                          Science Says Screaming Is Good For You

                                          There are many reasons why people might scream – they’re angry, scared, or in pain (or maybe they’re in a metal band!). Some might say that screaming is bad, but here’s why science says it’s good for you.

                                          “For the first time in the history of psychology there is a way to access feelings, hidden away, in a safe way and thus to reduce human suffering. It is, in essence, the first science of psychotherapy.” — Dr. Arthur Janov

                                          Primal Therapy

                                          Dr. Arthur Janov invented Primal Therapy in the late 1960’s. It is a practice that allows the patient to face their repressed emotions from past trauma head on and let those emotions go. This treatment is intended to cure any mental illness the patient may have that surfaced from this past trauma. In most cases, Primal Therapy has lead Dr. Janov’s patients to scream towards the end of their session, though it was not part of the original procedure. During a group therapy session that was at a standstill, Dr. Janov says that one of his patients, a student he called Danny, told a story that inspired him to implement a technique that he never would have thought of on his own.

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                                          How it Started

                                          “During a lull in our group therapy session, he told us a story about a man named Ortiz who was currently doing an act on the London stage in which he paraded around in diapers drinking bottles of milk. Throughout his number, Ortiz is shouting, ‘Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!’ at the top of his lungs. At the end of his act he vomits. Plastic bags are passed out, and the audience is requested to follow suit.”

                                          It doesn’t end there, though. Dr. Janov said that his patient was quite fascinated with that story, and that alone moved him to suggest something even he believed to be a little elementary.

                                          “I asked him to call out, ‘Mommy! Daddy!’ Danny refused, saying that he couldn’t see the sense in such a childish act, and frankly, neither could I. But I persisted, and finally, he gave in. As he began, he became noticeably upset. Suddenly he was writhing on the floor in agony. His breathing was rapid, spasmodic. ‘Mommy! Daddy!’ came out of his mouth almost involuntarily in loud screeches. He appeared to be in a coma or hypnotic state. The writhing gave way to small convulsions, and finally, he released a piercing, deathlike scream that rattled the walls of my office. The entire episode lasted only a few minutes, and neither Danny nor I had any idea what had happened. All he could say afterward was: ‘I made it! I don’t know what, but I can feel.’”

                                          Delving deeper

                                          Dr. Janov says he was baffled for months, but then he decided to experiment with another patient with the same method, which lead to a similar result as before. The patient started out calling “Mommy! Daddy!” then experienced convulsions, heavy breathing, and then eventually screamed. After the session, Dr. Janov says his patient was transformed and became “virtually another human being. He became alert… he seemed to understand himself.”

                                          Although the initial intention of this particular practice wasn’t to get the patient to scream, more than once did his Primal Therapy sessions end with the patient screaming and feeling lighter, revived, and relieved of stresses that were holding them down in life.

                                          Some Methods To Practice Screaming

                                          If you want to try it out for yourself, keep reading!

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                                          • Step 1: Be Alone — Be alone. If you live in a place that you can’t be alone, it might be a good idea to talk to your family or roommates and explain to them what you’re about to do and make sure they’re okay with it. If you’re good to go, move on to step 2.
                                          • Step 2: Lie Down — Lie down on a yoga mat on your back and place a pillow underneath your head. If you don’t own a yoga mat, you can use a rug or even a soft blanket.
                                          • Step 3: Think — Think of things that have hurt you or made you angry. It can be anything from your childhood or even something that happened recently to make yourself cry, if you’re not already crying or upset. You could even scream “Mommy! Daddy!” just like Dr. Janov’s patients did to get yourself started.
                                          • Step 4: Scream — Don’t hold anything back; cry and scream as loud as you can. You can also pound your fists on the ground, or just lie there and scream at the top of your lungs.

                                          After this, you should return your breathing to a normal and steady pace. You should feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted off of you. If not, you can also try these other methods.

                                          Scream Sing

                                          Scream singing” is referring to what a lot of lead singers in metal or screamo bands will do. I’ve tried it and although I wasn’t very good at it, it was fun and definitely relieved me of any stress I was feeling from before. It usually ends up sounding like a really loud grunt, but nonetheless, it’s considered screaming.

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                                          • Step 1 — Bear down and make a grunting sound.
                                          • Step 2 — Hiss like a snake and make sure to do this from your diaphragm (your stomach) for as long as you can.
                                          • Step 3 — Breathe and push your stomach out for more air when you are belting notes, kind of like you would if you were singing.
                                          • Step 4 — Try different ways to let out air to control how long the note will last, just make sure not to let out too much air.
                                          • Step 5 — Distort your voice by pushing air out from your throat, just be careful not to strain yourself.
                                          • Step 6 — Play around with the pitch of your screams and how wide your mouth is open – the wider your mouth is open, the higher the screams will sound. The narrower or rounder your mouth is (and most likely shaped like an “o”), the lower the screams will sound.
                                          • Step 7 — Start screaming to metal music. If you’re not a huge metal fan, it’s okay. You don’t have to use this method if you don’t want to.

                                          If you want a more thorough walkthrough of how to scream sing, here’s a good video tutorial. If this method is too strenuous on your vocal chords, stop. Also, make sure to stay hydrated when scream singing and drink lots of water.

                                          Scream into a pillow

                                          Grab a pillow and scream into it. This method is probably the fastest and easiest way to practice screaming. Just make sure to come up for air.

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                                          Always remember to make sure that you’re not going to disturb anyone while practicing any of these methods of screaming. And with that, happy screaming!

                                          Featured photo credit: Sharon Mollerus via flickr.com

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