What Advice Would You Give To People Who Just Got A Breakup?

March 11 in

What Advice Would You Give To People Who Just Got A Breakup

Breaking up is a hard time, the heartbreaking feeling is difficult to get over. If you’ve experienced this before, do advice Lifehack readers how they should deal with that.

6 Answers

Move on, it doesn’t matter how much it takes. Breaking up with this person and trying to move on from this relationship only means that you are getting closer to meeting the right person.

Give yourself a few days to rage and cry and be upset. Then some time to take care of yourself. Get a massage or take a weekend away by yourself. Do something new and empowering for yourself. Learn a new skill or enjoy an activity you never got to do with your ex.
Be sure to surround yourself with those you love and focus on the possibilities in the future. Don’t devote any time to negative thoughts or thinking about your ex.

 

 

Cry, scream, yell, roar, holler, do whatever you want, and then begin picking up the pieces and moving on. Fill the gaps they’ve left with stuff for you, stuff you can do to improve your self-love.

There will be love again in your heart. Just give it a little time and have faith.

Delete your ex from your online life. Indulge in a little revenge. Unload your feelings. Go yellow. Listen to music. Exercise. Give to others. 5 more things to do to get over a breakup and find happiness again.

Let your mind, heart, and even body, process the rejection. Some people are more sensitive and empathic. To those people, breakups pose a rather deep and intense experience to get through. You’re not in a race to heal. Go as slow as you need to but don’t wallow in self-pity or anger. If you are busy trying to make revenge, you’ll find yourself halting your healing and growth, and harming yourself rather than the other person. In fact, it’s best to remove yourself from their inner circle, and personal life. It will be too painful to see their musings, postings and photographs online or watch them pursue another partner. If you work together, attend the same religious services or are students at the same university, you’ll feel obligated to make contact but you don’t have to. If you must, keep it cordial and simple. Don’t beg someone to care about you or love you in return or rethink dumping you. If someone wants to be in your life, you’ll know it. If the break-up was not mutual or ended on bad terms, you may wish to make no contact and not attempt friendship. Trying to remain in the other persons life after they’ve just decided they don’t want you anymore, will likely cause you too much heartache and confusion. Give yourself some time to decide if becoming ”just friends” with this person is in your best interest. Protect your mind and heart and don’t maintain an intimate relationship with them after they’ve just dumped you. That’s unfair to both of you and doesn’t allow room for grieving the loss of the relationship and making space for other potential suitors that do want to commit to you and be in a relationship with your lovely self.

Make sure you take this time to understand yourself better, embrace your friends, family and favorite hobbies. Do something you’ve put off for so long. Maybe you were so focused on this relationship that you neglected other parts of your life. Your self-esteem will be fragile, and everything will make you cry. Scream into a pillow, do some ranting with trusted friends, go to the movies, try Thai kickboxing, climb a mountain, run a marathon, go to therapy, make art, write in your diary, attend a concert or show, volunteer in your community. Go out and live the life you’ve always wanted. You won’t have the relationship, but you still remain. Don’t forget yourself.

You may likely come to realize the relationship was not good for you, and had been ignoring negative things or bad communication patterns for the sake of keeping it together because you were so afraid of it falling apart. The person may even begin to seem rather unappealing or unattractive, especially if they betrayed you or did other heinous acts.

Reflect on what didn’t work for you in the last relationship, and use it to better all your current relationships, romantic or otherwise. However, be very careful not to use past relationships to judge future or current ones. Lashing out at the people in your life because someone did you wrong in the past is not healthy or fair. Recognize if there is a pattern in your relationship choices and what type of people you are choosing to be with.

Breakups can be so painful, you may convince yourself that you are not strong enough to make it. You’ll make it. I swear it. You are absolutely not alone.

Do remember not to rush yourself through the grieving process. You are in mourning for a loss, that’s akin to a death in the family. Be kind to yourself. Don’t fall into hurtful self-talk or berating yourself or your worthiness for love. When you’re ready and when it feels right again, you’ll attract a new loving relationship that is far more healthy and inspiring.

*If your relationship included physical violence or abuse of any kind, please seek help. There will be mental and emotional scars and you’ll need the support of others, during this time. You can visit Helpguide.org’s webpage on abusive relationships and a listing of U.S., U.K., and international hotlines that can assist you in getting out of abusive homes and relationships.

*Even if abuse or violence was not present in the relationship, you may still want to find a counsellor, therapist or psychologist, from whom you can safely and discreetly get professional feedback. You can find one via Psychology Today’s search engine.

I would say that the problem  needs to be faced. Going around it and making your mind busy with every kind of stuff is not going to help you, but it will blur your mind and it will only procrastinate it. Face it, you are not together anymore and think deeply to the core of it. It is hard to face the fact that break-up is not easy, but what’s easy? There is no such a thing as easy on the higher rankings. Face it, strengthen your well-being and move on. This is how strong minded people are build.