It’s strange isn’t it?
Why is it so hard to move forward? One step forward, another back, yet another sideways? Sometimes it can seem like we are just going around in circles.
Most blockages come from unresolved problems. So how do we become blocked and what can we do about it so that we are free to move forward? Most blockagesare in our heads. These mental blocks come from a variety of sources but they usually fall into these categories:
- The past. We were either hurt in the past or made a mistake and it still bothers us. Perhaps we have experienced serious adverse circumstances and may have a lot of forgiving to do. Whatever the reasons you still have to move forward in spite of any unfinished business. Unfortunately, the past can linger in your brain as a distraction that continually pulls on your attention and energy to give it its due, so it can be hard to move forward when this occurs. Unfinished business can also make claims on your energy that prevent you from being wholeheartedly in the present.
- The future. The future always holds uncertainty which opens the door to self-doubt. It can harness our imaginations in a negative way and make it hard for us to see useful decisions and choices. It can also open the what-if door and keep us suspended in questions that cannot be answered.
- Our view of ourselves. All of our blockages reflect in some way our view of ourselves, our abilities, competence and potential for success. If our self view was damaged, then we may have a hard time visualizing a way to move forward.
How To Handle Blockages To Move Forward
Blockages are tricky to handle. We really cannot ignore them. If we do, our inner voice will demand our attention. We also need to realize that many of our inner challenges can’t be easily solved with an affirmation or visualization. They take a concerted effort and some time to heal and repair. What’s needed is a strategy so that we can move forward. So what can we do? I think the easiest way to handle blockages is to treat them as long-term companions in our lives. And give them their due. One way is to write in a journal every day in the morning and the evening. The amount of time doesn’t have to be great. By giving attention to the part of you that needs healing you are then freer to move forward. And you will feel better about yourself and therefore do better as a result.
Ok, so we have set aside time and attention for our healing needs, but we still have to move forward somehow. How do we do that in a way that enables us to take intelligent risks and still honor ourselves and our limitations? The trick is really in how we go about it:
- Avoid pushing yourself too hard and too fast. By accepting limitations, you actually stand a better chance of success because you are not fighting yourself.
- Be prepared for and accept obstacles as important information. Sometime obstacles occur because of details that we need to pay attention to. We may not notice when we are going too fast or when we need to take a step back because we have missed something important.
Achieving Goals That Matter
You can succeed in anything you do as long as you give the work your all. To be able to give your work your all, you must have total acceptance of yourself. This is why making sure you address your hurts and unfinished business is so important. It frees your energy for your current tasks. To really achieve goals that really matter, and to be able to consistently work at them try this approach. Start with these questions:
- Where am I? Define or acknowledge where you are. This step also lets you be honest with yourself about the skills, resources and limitations you have.
- What do I need? Notice I said need not want. Sticking to our needs keeps us closer to our true and authentic self and less likely to go off on a wild goose chase or seek less fulfilling pursuits – like excessive consumption. Need can be anything from a need to earn enough to live on to engaging in creative work. But it needs to be a real need born of our talents and desire to contribute to the world and not one that comes from others or societal pressures.
- What do I need to do to get what I need? Here you close the gap between the present and the future but you do so in a grounded way, because you are staying in touch with the realities of the present, who you are and your real needs. You can move forward intelligently and confidently, taking one step at a time.
The Benefit Of Being Grounded
Being grounded has the important benefit of enabling us to be serious about what we are doing, Seriousness has important implications for the quality of our work and therefore makes our work more satisfying. Have you ever decided on a goal, and felt a certain weakness inside about it? That feeling of weakness come from something not being right, probably in one of the steps above. Using the three questions will help you feel confident, appropriate and serious about what you are doing. That internal synchronicity will show up in your excellent results.
Featured photo credit: Young businessman moving a knight on a chessboard via Shutterstock
Set a Goal For Yourself
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