Twitter is a very handy social media outlet that can be used to expand your audience and help you make some friends. Try to think of tweets that you would want to read or tweets that you would share with your own followers in order to get the biggest bang out of each 140 character string of words. Try to stick with safe and relatable humor for the best response. You do not want to turn people off with crude humor, especially if you are representing a business or brand.

Let’s face it: sometimes, it can be a challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun. Here are some ideas of funny things to tweet when you’re out of ideas.

Funny one-liners.

Quick and funny tweets are always winners on Twitter. Here are some examples:

1. 43 percent of statistics are made up.

2. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

3. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

4. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

5. Borrow money from a pessimist–they don’t expect it back.

6. Always remember that you are unique–just like everyone else.

Something funny or ironic to think about.

There are many questions that can’t really be answered, but are intriguing. Asking questions or making statements about them will surely get a response from your followers. Some possible tweets include:

7. Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

8. All generalizations are false.

9. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Sad but true statements.

Struggles in life are relatable. When you point them out with a little humor, you are sure to get responses and many shares. Basically, if something is bugging you, try to think of something funny about the situation. Here are some examples:

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

12. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

13. Gravity always gets me down.

14. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

15. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

16. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Oxymoron statements.

Statements or complaints that include oxymorons and make you do a double-take are always winners. Some examples include:

17. Ask me about my vow of silence.

18. The word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary.

19. Honk if you like peace and quiet.

Daily life commentary.

People respond best to things they can relate to, so any and all comments about daily life are a great way to get re-tweets. Some examples include:

20. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

21. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

22. Vacation begins when Dad says, “I know a short cut.”

23. Go 3 days without your favorite thing. Then go 3 days without sleep. It turns out sleep is actually your favorite thing.

24. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Bonus idea:

Some ecards.com

If you have not heard of someecards.com, you should definitely head over there. These funny photos and statements can be shared on Twitter with the click of a button and are sure to get a response.

Share your favorite articles, recipes, photos and more.

Many websites nowadays have share buttons so you can share the love (like the lovely button you see on the left..hint hint). Followers appreciate being presented with interesting articles and new websites to check out.

Remember, in order to expand your network on Twitter, share funny and relatable information or nuggets of wisdom/knowledge. Now get to tweeting!

Tweet Now: These funny tweets’ something you can’t miss! Let everyone know about these funny tweets

For more ways to get followers, check out: How to Increase Twitter Followers

Featured photo credit: Garrett Heath via Flickr

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