Posts Tagged ‘behavior’

Don’t let your “hot buttons” spoil your chances

Everyone has “hot buttons.” They’re your tender spots, the places where you’re most sensitive, the points where you get irritated, or hurt, or angry, and have to respond. The trick to preventing them from messing up your day is awareness: The more aware you are of what rattles the bars of your cage, the more you’ll be able to catch yourself before you do any damage. If you… » Continue

Four mental foibles we all cherish - and how to get rid of them.

As human beings, we have a natural wish to improve ourselves, and are always looking for ways to be more efficient, focused and fulfilled. However, we also have the opposite tendency to cherish certain limitations that prevent us from achieving these exact things! Let’s go into four of these limitations in detail.

1. Imagining the worst possible future.

When something bad happens, our mind often has a tendency to compound it… » Continue

Postcards from over the edge

A few potentially useful thoughts about work and working life.

  1. When you’ve reached enlightenment, your boss will still be a jerk. The good news is that it won’t bother you any more. The secret of maintaining a calm mind is letting go of emotions and refusing to waste energy on fretting about whatever you can’t change. The world is an unsatisfactory place; your boss is an unsatisfactory person. Life is good.
  2. There

Survival Rules For Your Company’s Holiday Party

Company party is around the corner. Henry Balanon suggests that you shouldn’t behave like you are in other normal parties. There are 10 guidelines in the article:

  • Don’t be the drunk.
  • Don’t bring the drunk.
  • Don’t dress like an idiot.
  • Don’t stuff your face.
  • Don’t talk business all night.
  • Don’t tip badly.
  • Don’t tell inappropriate jokes.
  • Don’t hit on your co-workers or bosses.
  • Don’t drink and drive.
  • Leave extra clothes in your car.

And yeah, most of them are common sense… » Continue

Finding More Entrepreneurs . . . and Fewer Jerks

I have two topics this week: the present-day obsession with clinging grimly to the status quo, when we have rarely needed change and entrepreneurial flair so much; and the obnoxious jerks whose presence in leadership positions disfigures too many organizations. These topics are linked by a recurring theme: the way that Hamburger Management—that dismal system of cutting corners, hounding people to reach crazy targets, and driving down every cost except… » Continue

Choose Values

I’ve been noticing some very nostalgic longing in the “Most Wanted” lists of several managers. When it comes to discussions about what could be, they talk about wanting an increased sense of responsibility, better reliability and dependability, honesty and integrity, humility and a hunger to do whatever it takes to learn, grow, and improve. What they are longing for, are those good, “old fashioned” values in the innate character of… » Continue

Antidotes to Hamburger Management

I’ve been thinking and writing quite a lot this week about Hamburger Management: the type of management approach that is based on always doing whatever is quickest, simplest and (above all) cheapest. Hamburger Managers provide the kind of leadership that is best described as: “Never mind the quality, look how fast it goes and how cheap it is.” Sadly, this approach is being forced on a great many otherwise perfectly… » Continue

How to Spot an Unfaithful Spouse

Let me begin with this disclaimer. These are generalizations. If your mate displays one or even two of these signs it may not yet be time to seek a litigator. However, if your mate displays all or most, you may wish to seek out a good counselor.
His Mannerism:

  1. You are suddenly receiving more attention than usual.
  2. You begin to get a lot of unexpected gifts.
  3. Your instincts are sending you messages.
  4. He becomes

The Power of Praise: Becoming a Great Leader #5

Effective leaders treat others with a positive regard. Specifically, effective leaders understand the power of appreciation. This goes beyond the Carnegie precepts of “Be hardy in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”

Effective praise is a skill set that must be learned like any other. As leaders we often find ourselves spending and inordinate amount of time identifying what is wrong, identifying mistakes, and concentrating on errors. Effective leaders… » Continue

Becoming a Great Leader

A series on becoming a more successful leader.

There’s no doubt about it. Being in a leadership position is a very difficult job. We are required to do so much and to be all things to so many people. The advice we get is often great in theory, but falls short of the mark in practice. We need practical strategies that will help us, and those around us become… » Continue

12 Keys To Winning an Argument

Aguments are an all too common part of life. They should be avoided if possible. But, if you can’t avoid them you may as well win.

Here’s how.

  • Never Accuse your opponent of being wrong.
  • If you realize you made a mistake admit it immediately.
  • Be pleasant.
  • Get your opponent saying “yes” It is a proven technique.
  • Let them talk. “Enough rope,” “digging a hole” all that.
  • Be receptive. We’ve already established we could be wrong.
  • Make it

5 Tips for Empathetic Listening

Empathetic Listening is a technique which can help you manage and avoid disruptive and assaultive behaviors. The foundation of the technique can be summarized in 5 simple steps.

  1. Provide the speaker with your undivided attention.This is one time “multi-tasking” or “rapid refocus” will get you in trouble.
  2. Be non-judgemental. Don’t minimize or trivialize the speakers issue.
  3. Read the speaker. Observe the emotions behind the words. Is the speaker angry, afraid, frustrated or resentful

Is He Following Me?

First of all I would like to thank Leon, Chris, and the crew for inviting me to contribute. I’ll try to keep my work up to the high standards they have established.

I work a great deal with deviant behaviors, both as a counselor to the perpetrators as well as the victims. So, I get a chance to look at things from both sides of the spectrum.

This bit focuses the facet… » Continue

Thinking About Trust

Trust in other people is one of the foundations for creating a civilized working environment. Many managers are overworked primarily because of a lack of trust. They take on too much themselves, because they don’t trust their subordinates to do the work properly. They cannot allocate enough time to their own work, because they don’t believe people will put in the required time without constant supervision. They attend pointless meetings… » Continue

The Soul of Business

When people speak about the soul — outside of a purely religious context — they’re usually referring to the qualities of something (or someone) that they see as fundamental to its identity. The word “soul” is shorthand for the innermost, truest or most obviously unique nature of whatever or whoever they are referring to.

Used in this way, the word can apply to people (where it means whatever they feel is… » Continue

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