Show Me the Money - Or Maybe Not!
Like it or loath it, we all have a relationship with money. We don’t really have a choice; it’s somewhat of a necessity. Unless of course you’re a skilled hunter, gatherer, farmer, living entirely off the land in your own hand-built hut, wearing animal skins and residing in some remote, exotic location. Who happens to have Internet access. Of course.
Part of the human experience
Money means different things to different people. Or different things for the same people at different stages of their journey - stress, anxiety, freedom, choices, arguments, happiness, sadness, motivation, sleepless nights, elation and sadly things like crime, violence, deception, manipulation and even marital breakdown. Like it or not, money is a necessary part of the human experience; something which needs to be negotiated and managed virtually every day of our lives.
What does money mean to us individually?
When we really dumb it down and we take the emotion out of it (yes, some of us are very emotional - periodically irrational - about money), it’s kinda simple; money is a resource. It’s a resource that let’s us do stuff. Drive this car, live in that house, wear that dress or suit, fly to that country, enjoy this type of lifestyle; for some, pretty superficial and unimportant stuff, and for others, very significant stuff. On a certain level, things only have the meaning we give them and unfortunately, many of us seem to have handed over way to much power to the ‘almighty dollar’. And in doing so, we seem to have lost part of us.
Different things to different people
For the majority, money is something to be used in a practical way to live our lives - pay bills, buy food, educate our kids, fix the broken fence and enjoy the annual holiday. While for others, it’s their life-force; it’s what gets them out of bed each day. It’s their obsession. While many see it for what it is (a resource), others make money their god; they worship it and they spend a lifetime being hopelessly enslaved to it. Usually at great personal expense.
An identity?
For some people, their money is who they are. It’s the thing that gives them a sense of worth; their self esteem, their confidence - or arrogance. Take away their money and they feel worthless and insecure; they lose their identity and their power (or perceived power anyway). Rather than it being a necessary resource, it has become their reason for being. They are captivated by it, driven by it, addicted to it and ultimately destroyed by it. Ironically, their tireless pursuit of wealth at any cost invariably results in bankruptcy in every other area of their life. When we hand over our power to something which can be taken away in a second, we have a tendency to become very vulnerable and insecure. If not, paranoid and obsessed.
Wealth without the money
What about the notion of being rich without having significant money or assets? Well, that depends on your definition of wealth. In my opinion, some of the wealthiest people don’t have much money at all and some of the poorest people are literally millionaires - it’s a matter of perception and definition isn’t it? While it’s not said too often or too loud in mainstream society (political correctness and all), the underlying message seems to be:
Money = happiness
More money = more happiness
Most money = most happiness
Having worked with some obscenely rich folk over the years, I can tell you with absolute certainty that there is no universal correlation between increased material wealth and increased happiness. And no, financial wealth and happiness are not necessarily mutually exclusive either.
Anti-Money?
At the other end of the scale we can find the anti-establishment, anti-material possession, anti-money brigade who see money as evil and the pursuit of it analogous to sin. This doesn’t seem to be a very practical, realistic or empowering paradigm to inhabit either. There’s nothing wrong with money. After all, money can’t be good or bad, it’s just a bunch of paper that’s been assigned a value by us! No, money only becomes bad or destructive when it comes to represent something that it shouldn’t.
What do I think?
Now before I get three hundred emails telling me that I’m a hypocrite because I charge companies thousands of dollars to work with them, don’t misinterpret my thoughts on money. Making money or being wealthy is not of itself, a bad thing. In fact, for the most part I admire people who succeed in business - as long as that success doesn’t come at the cost of their values, their health, their relationships, their integrity, their life, or their emotional, psychological and spiritual development. As long as we recognise and use money for what it is and don’t bow down before it, we should have a relatively healthy relationship with it. Do I have financial goals? Yep. Are they at the top of my list? Nope. Do I focus on, or obsess about, money? Nope. Have I ever struggled financially? Yep. In fact, for the majority of my adult life I have not earned a lot of money.
By the way, even with my business aspirations and goals I have never been driven by money. Of course it’s an issue and a challenge from time to time, but it’s not why I do what I do. If I was all about money, I wouldn’t be writing this article - I’d be doing something that I get paid for. I’ve been driven by a desire to do whatever I do with excellence, to have fun and to impact the lives of others in a positive way - I see my (moderate) financial success as a by-product of that pursuit.
People often suggest that “money is the root of all evil”, which is actually a misquote of a scripture from the New Testament which says, “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil” (1 Timothy, 6:10). See, even two thousand years ago they were talking about this stuff!
Didn’t know I could be theological did you? Me either!
Tell me about your relationship with, or thoughts on, money.
WRITER'S BIOGRAPHY
Craig Harper
Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is a qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host, motivational speaker and university lecturer. For the past 25 years he has been a leading presenter, educator, motivator and commentator in the areas of personal and professional development. You can visit Craig's blog at Motivational Speaker.
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Comments
Vered - MomGrind says on April 20th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Money is freedom. Freedom from worries over daily stuff like roof over your head and food on your table. Freedom from worries about unexpected expenses. Freedom from having to work at a job that you hate, being nice to a boss that makes you miserable, because you need the money.
Research often shows that there IS at least some correlation between money and happiness. At the very least, people who have money are often less stressed than people who don’t.
Rich people are healthier
Stephanie says on April 20th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Personally, I am motivated by money for the purpose of satisfying and sustaining my basic needs (food, shelter, clothing, etc). Admittedly, I do enjoy spending money on things I don’t absolutely need to survive. However, for me, personal fulfillment is motivated by learning rather than the accumulation of wealth. If I lost all of my discretionary income, I wouldn’t necessarily feel less happy. Striving to learn and grow on a daily basis is what gets me up in the morning. Sharing that growth with others is bliss.
tommyb says on April 20th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Fantastic article. It’s great to hear money talked about like this outside of religious/self-help circles. Personally, I agree with Stephanie that I am driven by learning and a desire to have a net positive impact on society with my life, and I have come to see the role of money in my life much like you do, Craig.
I sincerely hope that the wider elite cottons on to this sort of thinking. I feel that much of the world’s most intelligent, driven, and innovative people have dedicated their lives to acquiring wealth and status, and that if they shifted their focus and resources to benefiting the world as a whole, an enormous amount of potential for positive change could be released.
judyofthewoods says on April 20th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Money is just an exchange token for things we can not or will not do for our selves. So we get that something we want/need from someone else, with tokens we got for a service or material exchange with a third party. Specialization, of course, makes some things a lot more efficient too. In my opinion it gets crazy when people work hard just to pay someone else to do their laundry, make their food, raise their children, make their clothes and just about everything else. Personally, I just aim for earning the money for the things I really can’t or won’t do for myself, and try to be as self-reliant as possible, though not quite like the example in your opening. In marketing terms, money is the sausage, when we should remember that we could generate the sizzle our selves more often.
The problem with money is what people do with it, and that a big chunk of it is creamed off by others when it moves around, the biggest thief being the government. If it actually did good things with the money, I wouldn’t be so bothered, but when taxes, including all the hidden down and upstream taxes, are being used for very unwholesome things and directed into the pockets of very unwholesome people and corporations, I get rather upset. In America about 40cent out of the tax dollar goes to the war, less than 20 to so-called education, much of it perhaps better termed brain washing kids into becoming obedient cogs in the machine, and medicare is mostly a hand-out to the pharmaceutical companies and has little to do with making people healthy. Because that creaming off is the evil part of money, which facilitates all the ills in the world, it is by using it as little as possible, that we can actually bring about positive change. Unplug the power source, simple as that. It does mean a simpler life, and a more self-reliant one, but that sure isn’t a bad thing.
Andy Wood says on April 20th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
A couple of observations:
1. Money is coined personality. Who you are with your money is who you are.
2. There are four - and only four - things you can ever spend your money on: yesterday (debt), today (consumer needs), tomorrow (investments), and eternity (what you give away).
3. The believe in scarcity is that creates a love of money. Very rich - and very poor - people will continue to crave what they believe they don’t have.
Great post!
Marelisa says on April 20th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Actually, the more money you have, the more you can give to others. Some of the wealthiest people who have passed through this earth have also been some of the most giving.
MrAchievement - Stanley Bronstein says on April 20th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
One great book that talks about this subject in great detail is Prosperity Consciousness by Fredric Lehrman.
He basically says that if you have a problem with not having enough money it’s because you have a problem with money. It may be guilty associations, it can be many things.
It’s a great book. Check it out.
MrAchievement
Stanley F. Bronstein
Attorney, CPA, Author & Professional Motivational Speaker
John says on April 21st, 2008 at 12:24 am
Money isn’t everything - agreed. But it certainly helps grease the wheels. For me, in my current situation, a little extra would eliminate a couple of problems for me which would maker me much happier right now.
Incidentally, if anyone is interested in doing an experiment to see how much happier someone can become with more money, I’ll gladly be that person/experiment. Please paypal your donations to…
Jenny says on April 21st, 2008 at 4:30 am
when I was 9,baby sitting 5/hour
when I was 15,working on the farm 20/day
when I was 18,private coach 60/hour
when I was 22,my first project 2000/month
when I was 23,my rendering 200 each
when I was 24,my first job 6000/month
…
so to me,may be money is another kind of stature,difference between they 2,is that money will keep growing or contrarily decreasing.
somebody do care about money just like they ashame of their height;while others are easily content.
But whether people take notice of this special stature or not,the luck things is that anytime you want to make a change,just do it!
Also,people need to make sure if it’s their truly essential intention to earn more.cause money earned for no objective equates nothing.
B Smith says on April 21st, 2008 at 9:56 am
Great post. I think the issue is that people lose perspective of what money is. It isn’t happiness. It isn’t coolness. It isn’t your ticket to the inner circle. It isn’t evil. It’s just another resource-like time, knowledge, skills, etc…
If you don’t have enough to cover life’s necessities, it is painfully important. After we reach that level it loses much of its meaning. It is still important, but other things take priority.
But like any resource, it can be powerful if applied to achieve your goals. The real key to fulfillment is to find what you want to do (notice I say do, not want to have) and how you want to live. Set your vision, set goals, develop a plan, and take daily actions to achieve them. If your vision is of a rich balanced life and you take these steps you will be fulfilled. Money becomes a tool to help with this.