“I’m feeling guilty because I procrastinate too much”
A quick search on Twitter confirmed my hunch. There are a lot of people talking about procrastination, and the tweets I surveyed are filled with feelings of guilt, regret and remorse.
The word “procrastinate” is a heavy one, and I believe that people are trying to solve the problem the wrong way, leaving them with baggage that just won’t seem to go away no matter what they do.
Procrastination: Not a Problem!
Perhaps procrastination simply isn’t the problem we think it is.
Webster’s Dictionary defines the word as follows:
procrastinate: To put off from day to day; to delay; to defer to a future time
Anyone who is skillful at managing their time will tell you that the act of “putting off from day to day,” “delaying” and “deferring to a future time” are required skills in today’s information age.
With technology has come an increased number of demands on our time, and a variety of ways in which we allow ourselves to be interrupted, reminded or prompted to make new commitments. The only smart tactic to take is to put things off until later.
Take the simple example of checking your email Inbox.
In fifteen minutes it’s possible to scan 100 new items, while making 30 instant decisions to take further action. It’s impossible to act on all 30 items immediately. Instead, it’s a much better idea to focus on a single item at a time, rather than trying to split one’s attention between multiple tasks.
In other words, it’s better to “put it off from today,” “delay” or “defer to a future time” than to try to do multiple actions at the same time, in the very next moment.
Why is procrastination deemed to be such a problem if, by its definition, the action is such a benign and even useful one? I suspect that when we call a problem by its incorrect name, we prevent ourselves from seeing clear, common-sense solutions. The word “procrastination” is being used to label the wrong problem.
The Real Problem
To understand the real problem, let’s look at some cases in which actual failures occurred, and why they had nothing to do with procrastination.
Failure #1 – A Missed Due Date: Sam’s homework was due on Monday morning, and she waited until late on Sunday evening to get started. After she started she found out that the assignment required at least 20 hours of work, which she could not complete in time. The assignment was handed in late, and her tardiness cost her a full letter grade according to the rules stated in the syllabus.
Analysis: Most might call Sam a procrastinator, but I only see that she has a weakness in scheduling her time. The failure started by not properly estimating the size of the task, and continued when she didn’t use her calendar to determine the best time to start the assignment.
In this case what we call procrastination is actually a problem with the discipline that time management experts would call “personal scheduling.”
Failure #2 – Several Delays: Mike has made an internal decision to cut the lawn on Saturday, an activity that he despises. On the appointed day, other events intervene, and he decides to cut the lawn on Sunday instead.
Sunday rolls around and once again he decides to postpone his date with the lawnmower until Wednesday.
On Wednesday he decides that next Friday would be better, and he once again foregoes the much needed chore.
On Friday he finally cuts the entire lawn in one effort.
Analysis: Was Mike procrastinating? Many would say yes, and they might strongly imply that he was just being lazy.
If I add in the fact that it rained on Friday, Monday and Tuesday nights rendering the ground soft and unsafe for a cut, would it be said that he was still being lazy, and procrastinating?
If I add in the fact that his neighbour cut his lawn under similar conditions would you change your mind? And if I add in the fact that the neighbour is known to be a drunkard who sometimes does crazy things help you to change your mind again?
The problem with the way we use procrastination is that it has come to mean much more than the dictionary definition, and now brings with it an accusing tone filled with blame.
If we were to use the dictionary definition of the word we’d conclude that he was simply re-scheduling. The fact is that he deferred the activity, and according to the dictionary, he was procrastinating. According to our common-day usage of the word, it all depends on whether or not he was to blame for the delay.
The charge of being a “procrastinator” that we lay against ourselves and others has a become a way to cast blame.
Solutions
The negative judgements and feelings related to procrastinating don’t come from the delays, the putting off or the postponements. Instead they come from our judgemental minds which have decided that something or someone is to blame. A close look at the examples above reveal that it’s actually the negative thoughts that are producing the guilty feelings and the blame, and NOT the actual rescheduling.
What can we do about these negative thoughts? What can we do if we continue to blame ourselves and others for procrastinating?
There are a variety of approaches that we can use, but this is my personal favorite. Byron Katie’s methods of dealing with stressful thoughts is the method that I have used for the past 4 years. (Her entire approach can be found at her website.)
Her thesis is simple, and is a good match for the problem of blame.
Stress is never caused by life circumstances, but instead it originates in the thoughts that we have, and whether or not we believe them.
In the example above, Sam’s assignment was late (a fact,) but her thought that “I’m a procrastinator” would only cause stress if she believed it.
On Katie’s site, there is a powerful and simple process. It involves dealing with stressful thoughts by first writing them down and then applying 4 questions and what she calls a turnaround statement (an opposing thought.)
The result of using her process on stressful, judgmental thoughts about procrastination is a sense of relief in which statements like “I should stop procrastinating” might still recur, but without the stress that usually comes.
While this kind of habit might not seem to be related to time management, there are so many who struggle with thoughts of procrastination that if they could get past their own thinking, it would help bring peace of mind — which is the goal of every time management system.
So, if you think you have an issue with procrastination, start by separating your actions from your thoughts. Deal with your skill at scheduling if you need to. According to the dictionary, you are probably doing the right thing by procrastinating.
If you find that you have blaming thoughts that keep returning, and that they are causing stress, use Katie’s method to free yourself to be as productive as you can be without this harmful habit.
Francis, I have difficulty with the entirety of this article including it’s premise. Procrastination is a habitual act (a matter left out of the definition) from which problems typically are borne.
The examples provided are poorly constructed, as they omit details later salted in to support the articles’ thesis.
I agree that there is a “real” issue behind the procrastination, but suggest that it has to do with individuals keeping agreements (do what you say you are going to, when you say you will) more than it the act of procrastination.
The negative judgements and feelings mentioned rarely come from procrastinating, but instead from breaking the agreement to accomplish a task.
When you break you word, whether to yourself or others, you feel it.
If, as you suggest, we have the tools and technology to handle a great number of tasks, we also have the same facilities to correctly decide how and when these tasks will be accomplished.
Taking a page from project management, when scope changes or increases with a project or task, likewise there is an alteration to the project schedule resulting in agreements and expectations being modified.
To do otherwise is to be permissive with bad behavior and results in very little getting accomplished in a timely manner.
Great article, i’m a massive procrastinator and people are always telling me to ‘get on with it’!
Good point.
It is easy to procrastinate, but it is difficult to act because it requires effort and risk.
Procrastination does not actually exist, or you simply work in the present moment or not. Supporting emotional reactions represent the Procrastination as an experience.
People generally don’t understand the tradeoff between urgency and importance. Covey writes a lot about this.
And they rush through life like someone cramming for a course by speed-reading Cliff’s Notes. Unfortunately, we know the ending already, and there’s no point in rushing there. Actually, that’s too often self-fulfilling.
I’m one of the authors of a time management software tool, Life Balance, and I agree that “procrastination” is an emotionally loaded word for a lot of people. There can be real pain associated with postponing your heart’s desires and goals. Life IS short, and that’s a scary thought. There is also real empowerment by taking action (even a little bit) towards your goals every day. Tasks really do add up and projects gain momentum. Life’s a journey, and that’s a comforting thought. When deciding when to postpone, and when to act, be on the lookout for the tasks that contribute most to your long term goals. Look for positive outcomes and pursue those with steady energy.
Marko — working in the present moment IS the key — I find that I struggle with that every day!
Max,
I am a strong believer in keeping agreements also, and the integrity that it allows for in the people’s lives, AND in the world.
At the same time, according to the dictionary, that behavior is distinct and separate from procrastination.
What’s happened is that the word has come to mean all sorts of things that we equate with bad behavior… and nowadays we _only_ use it negatively.
I wish there were a distinct word for “breaking promises and agreements” — I bet that we’d do less of it if there were!!!
I’ll split my responses into a few different pieces for ease of threading…
Tx for the thoughtful response.
Max,
I started thinking about this article when I noticed the mis-use of the word “procrastination” — rather than the negative feelings. I agree that those feelings come from other sources, including the one you mentioned around promises.
When I go back to the dictionary definition, I am forced to admit that procrastination is a habit… yes… a possibly useful habit.
When I use this habit, it actually makes it easy to keep my agreements (when properly used in conjunction with other habits.)
Again, according to the dictionary, the opposite of procrastination would be “doing everything now” which is a difficult way to live in these complex times that can get stressful.
This is all more than word-play, however – as people really beat themselves up when they believe that they are procrastinators. This is what I learned from the Twitter search I did that I mentioned in the article.
One more post…
Max,
Beyond what I’ve written, here’s a question I asked myself… “what would it be like to have people break agreements without feeling guilty?” (or becoming sociopaths? LOL) Don’t have an answer… just asking… as it might have an impact on their productivity, given that breaking agreements is a fact of life… hmmm!
I agree that thinking “I’m a procrastinator” or “I need to stop procrastinating” causes more stress. In my case, it’s mostly scheduling and time management that’s the problem. And finding the will do get up and do what I am scheduled to do.
-Denise
If you ask my brilliant son who has a full scholarship to Stanford University and is being recruited by Princeton and MIT – procrastination for HIM is defined as POSTPONING THE PAINFUL.
No kid postpones opening a present. No smoker willingly postpones a cigarette. Think about it, the things people POSTPONE – they really dont want to do. They may idealistically WISH to do, but things we WANT we tend to make time for.
You see, my son, like myself – schedules. So if you schedule something for tomorrow – that is NOT procrastinating, the issue is prioritized and scheduled into its correct spot in your life.
Procrastination for him is not putting off for later what is a PRIORITY for him, but putting off what is a PRIORTY for others for him. So you might say my son procrastinates because he did not get around to doing something in YOUR hoped timeframe, but it was well scheduled to the appropriate priorty in his – aka – the ‘whenever’ pile. So, for example, if you asked my son to take out the garbage, he would ‘procratinate’ and hope it disappears (someone else takes care of it) or the garbage truck is in the street and it must be done in that hot second if it is to be done at all).
However things like homework, football practise, and video gaming, etc. – no procrastination there! He checks his planner, figures out how much time he needs to invest in the priorty thing, how much time to delivery due time, and then gets his quality video gaming in around that. He must be doing something right.
At 16, my son is a senior gradutating high school with a 5.8 GPA, football scholarship offers from 3 ivy league schools, plays 3 instruments, has two letters for outstanding academic performance from the White House (signed by President Bush), blah blah blah – I wont bore you with the rest. Ok. so I admit, he has a reliable personal assistant to help him with his ‘delegatble tasks’ – that would be me – with the title, Mom – aka, Personal Assistant.
Francis,
Thoughtful responses all and I thank you for sharing your ideas. We could spend a lot of time parsing definitions, but the idea most sources agree on is that procrastination is about putting off intentionally what should be done. By that standard of necessity, how can procrastination be viewed as a good thing?
Trudy hits on a great point, most people seek pleasure and avoid pain, which is why we are willing to put off tasks that we know will cause us some form of irritation.
Priority is an additional dimension, since it’s introduction can mean different things to different parties. But it definitely has a place at this table while Trudy may really want the garbage out (her priority), her son might want to finish his current level on Call of Duty (his priority).
I’ll split responses to keep threading….
Francis,
The “opposite” of procrastination doesn’t actually have a definition per se, but we don’t need one to bandy about. It’s unrealistic to say that one would suddenly have to do all tasks immediately. Does anyone ever really plan to, “do everything now”? I don’t think so – it’s more likely folks schedule thier tasks and times in a resonable way.
As I mention in my previous post, in project management circles when conditions change, be it the scope of the effort, deliverables or deadlines, a change of scope is made to reset expectations. Project, like life, contain all matter of fluid elements and being contained in a rigid system would only produce failure. Flexibility and agreement are needed to ensure success.
It’s OK to put things off – without feeling guilty – or to change them entirely, but only if one makes sure beforehand that its in alignment with their ultimate goal. If I plan to mow the lawn today only to realize my son used up all the gas last time, I have choices: get more gas, send another family member to get gas, borrow some from a neighbor, or decide to put it off until tomorrow. Suppose I take the last option and the next day it rains. Though I have the gas – it’s raining & the lawn won’t get done. I initally had other choices that would have ensured completion but, because of conditions changing, I now have to mow on the next dry evening after work. If that falls on my bowling night, I now have to make a painful choice – do the thing I love (bowl) or the thing I loathe (the lawn). If I willingly accept that I agreed to do the lawn on the next clear day, the choice is easy. I do the lawn. If I don’t willingly accept conditions I set for myself, I feel bad, maybe even put off the lawn again (to seek pleasure!) or maybe just grudingly do the lawn while in a grumbling bad mood (because while I said I would do the lawn, I didn’t really think @ bowling night!) This might be frustrating, but I set up my plans, I am accountable. If the next dry day was sunny and warm (and not bowling night!) there would be no complaints – I’d be outside mowing and pleased that the chore was complete. We can mix & match other scenarios, but this is essentially how things would break down.
Francis,
IMHO, if you are breaking agreements, procrastinating, or otherwise causing internal dissonance, you will, and should, feel bad – sometimes even guilty – it’s your inner voice telling yourself that something is out of synch and needs to be corrected. Francis you’re right, if folks were breaking agreements and not feeling guilty they would be sociopathic, but that’s not the majority of us.
Not everything can be easy, or produce pleasure. Choosing to ignore ones obligations only increases burden and causes pain. There is no benefit to procrastinating. It’s a bad habit, not because the word has been imbued with some magical power, but because the very act puts off things that should be done.
Thanks again for a great dialogue.
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Looking at the idea of Putting off the Painful as one’s motive….
there seem to be 2 alternatives to break through:
>enhance your perception of benefit in acting now
>reduce your perception of the cost of acting now
I dunno, but I’m having a hard time stomaching this article too. I too come from the same camp as Prioritization of tasks vs procrastination of tasks and handling them one at a time.
If you are deliberately putting off anything when there is nothing in the Queue, you’re a procrastinator.
If you are working on something, and another item comes up that has higher priority (whether it be time sensitivity, a crazy boss, life urgency, etc), then it’s okay to put off everything else until the task is complete.
Good alternate perspectives.
Yes, I totally agree about how we redefine the meaning of procrastination in our own self negative feelings.
It totally starts with our thoughts on how we perceive about it.
This issue seems to have generated a quite a bit of traffic — sorry for not checking in earlier! (A recent move disrupted a whole bunch of habits… to my horror!)
Armil: I think you have hit the nail on the head. Many of us want to be able to call other people procrastinators, and make the charge “stick” to them the way a prosecutor would want a guilty charge to stick to a suspect (OK… way too much Law and Order lately.)
It’s all about the blame.
Unfortunately, when we internalize the charge and come to believe that we are indeed **Procrastinators** then the guilt and self-blame only slow us down. This explains the tweets I see each day when I do a keyword search on Twitter which are mostly mea culpas.
According to the dictionary, however, we are being misguided in our application of the word when blame gets added in.
The problem is, blaming others (and ourselves) rarely produces better time management habits, and there are more gentle methods that _can_ be used that are simply more efficient.
Zen Capitalist: sorry for the indigestion!
You said: “If you are deliberately putting off anything when there is nothing in the Queue, you’re a procrastinator.
If you are working on something, and another item comes up that has higher priority (whether it be time sensitivity, a crazy boss, life urgency, etc), then it’s okay to put off everything else until the task is complete.”
It looks as if you are asserting a different definition than the one that the dictionary states.
No problem with that… once we know what we’re doing.
I remember when I got married, and it took me a while to work up the courage…! I also remember waiting to take an exam at the last minute in the hope that more studying would help.
It’s tough to accept that I am a procrastinator because of my decision to delay these actions. If so, it appears that each and every human being is a procrastinator, because we all delay actions until later, whether or not the mental queue is full.
If the label fits all of us at some time or another, then it’s tough to its value.
Which makes me wonder — why call anyone a procrastinator in the first place? (I’m really asking this…) If it’s to spur on some kind of change, are there other ways to do so that are more precise, and less blaming? Hmmm…
This is straying a bit off the time management topic, but it is interesting.
Catherine: well said. That brings to mind a kind of guilt-free re-ordering of tasks and schedules according to ones goals and plans. Blaming ourselves for procrastinating would only add unnecessary friction to an activity that all of us must do.
I wonder if it’s possible to keep the procrastination (as defined by the dictionary) and let go of the blame and guilt?
Box B: good point. This is a problem that we all have with scheduling, and deciding how to sequence our actions in time. We often delay the uncomfortable tasks.
I read some customer service advice that said that bad news should be bundled together and delivered all at once, while good news should be spread out over time. I wonder if something similar would help us schedule unpleasant tasks? i.e. Execute them all together … like scheduling that root canal right a few minutes before your IRS audit! LOL
I take your point about benefits and costs. It would help us make better decisions when we schedule tasks if we could see both of them clearly.
Marko — “taking action involves effort and risk” — coooooool. Thanks — this idea is one I’ll probably use in my programs when we discuss the skill of scheduling.
Max: you said “procrastination is about putting off intentionally what should be done. By that standard of necessity, how can procrastination be viewed as a good thing?”
(This could get deep if we’re not careful….! LOL)
I agree with you that many people believe the definition you gave above.
The mischief lies in the word “should” which implies a specific judgment. This judging and blaming is where the word has departed from the dictionary definition I provided (taken from Webster’s 1828 edition.)
The end-result is one that appears a bit wacky… we ALL end up being guilty of procrastination, either by the judgment of others (who believe that we _should_ be acting) or by ourselves (when we believe that we should be doing better.)
It also appears that we cannot escape this judgment as we all have 20 emails that we “should” be responding to _now_ if our thoughts are to be believed.
We can only respond to 1 at a time, making us procrastinators around the other 19, plus anything else our minds tell us we “should” be doing.
“Stop should-ing on yourself” was something I was told years ago, and it has some validity. This includes, “stop believing the thought that you should be doing anything other than what you are actually doing now.”
(OK… that actually sounds better said than written…)
Bottom line — there are lots of problems that the contemporary, popular definition that you indicated above is believed. By contrast, the dictionary definition is pretty simple, and points to some different problems (of 1) scheduling and 2) negative thoughts) that can actually be resolved with some practical new habits.
Max — great lawn example!
Now, if I were you in this situation (the lawnmower) and my wife were the one watching on, I suspect she’d think that I’m procrastinating!
I probably wouldn’t… but she would… and who gets to say what I “should” be doing?
Insert a different husband and wife team, and you could get a husband who blames himself for procrastinating while the wife couldn’t care less.
Bottom line: I like the dictionary definition of procrastination… it has no blame or judgment in it, and no guilt either!
I don’t know if this qualifies as a bonus.. but here are some tweets that I just found on the “p” word:
Whenever I’m supposed 2 clean the house I end up wanting 2 snack 2 procrastinate. make it stp!
@firstlady so u just go procrastinate????? u just go wait till the last minute? what kinda example is that swain?????
As my skills grow so does my does my drive and proficiency to procrastinate.
doing last minute hw. why do i always procrastinate?! ughhh
twitter’s solved the ‘what do I do now to procrastinate’ problem :p
It’s currently THREE degrees outside and I have to leave my apartment now. I’m trying to procrastinate in every way possible…
someday I will learn not to procrastinate
P.S. I just noticed that I spelled the word “procrastinate” incorrectly on my site… in the header of a post …. aarghhhh! (now fixed.)
Many, if not most, things are not as important or urgent as we tend to think they are at the time we are making to-do lists. Determining the small percentage of truly important tasks takes a lot of thought, and not a quick judgment. Taking time finding those is one of the most productive things we can do in a day, even though that may seem counterintuitive at times.
Those are all great points. And yes I believe that stress originates in the thoughts. What we think is really that matters.
[...] Procrastination – NOT a Problem! – Stepcase Lifehack With technology has come an increased number of demands on our time, and a variety of ways in which we allow ourselves to be interrupted, reminded or prompted to make new commitments. The only smart tactic to take is to put things off until later. Take the simple example of checking your email Inbox. [...]
Procrastination – NOT a Problem!I think so
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[...] and grabbed lunch with a friend when I knew I could be writing. I felt guilty until I found this comforting piece from Francis Wade of Stepcase Lifehack. Wade suggests that, if we removed the guilt and judgment, [...]
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