Living a Life of Ends
Why do you do what you do? Do you ever feel like you’re spinning your wheels? Is your life filled with activities and obligations that have no intrinsic meaning for you, things you do because you have to for one reason or another? Are you bored?
I’ve been thinking about engagement since I interviewed Michael Lee Stallard last year and reviewed his book Fired Up or Burned Out, and lately I’ve been thinking about it a lot more. The issue really came home for me when someone posted a comment on my recent post, “Finding Purpose “, expressing an attitude that I fear is all too common among my students as well: that every class is just a means to an end, that end being the BA and, I suppose, the miserable grind of a desk job for the next 40 years after that. Whee!
Something came together for me then, something I’d had a hard time wrapping my head around before then, and that’s this: our lives should be lives of ends, not lives of means. That is to say, if everything you do is simply a way to get somewhere else, you’re missing out on life altogether — ideally, everything we do should be an end in and of itself, even if it’s intended to lead us ever-closer to some other goal.
Means people suck
The moral philosopher Immanuel Kant discussed means and ends in his famed Humanity formulation, saying “we should never act in such a way that we treat Humanity, whether in ourselves or in others, as a means only but always as an end in itself”(from Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy ).
Normally, this is taken as saying that you shouldn’t use others to advance your own goals, but should appreciate them for themselves, that each relationship is its own end. Relationships that exist solely to forward our own causes without regard for the humanity of those we are in relationship with become purely functional, and lessen both us and others as people. Means relationships objectify our others — that is, cause us to see and treat other people as objects, not people — and are fundamentally narcissistic.
A life of means
But there’s another part of Kant’s principle that bears mentioning — he doesn’t just say don’t treat others as means, he says don’t treat ourselves as means to an end, either. But that’s exactly what we do when we approach everything in our lives as a means to an end. Instead of engaging with the world before us, we become fundamentally disengaged and future-oriented — our attention split between the world we dwell in and the world as we want it to be, between the task at hand and the “real” reason we’re doing it.
When we treat the things we do as simply functional steps towards some future ends, function replaces meaning, and we transform our very selves into objects for the satisfaction of some future self.
Consider, for example, the growing body of research that calls into question the role of incentives. An incentive is an end separate from whatever it is we’re doing at any given moment. I might offer you a hundred-dollar bill for getting an “A”, outselling your colleagues, or serving my table well — it really doesn’t matter. The incentive is completely divorced from the reality at hand.
And research shows that this messes with our heads. In one classic psychological study, for instance, two groups of children were brought in over a period of several weeks to draw and color. In the first group, children were given awards and certificates for doing well; in the other, no rewards were offered. After several weeks, the first group — the kids with the outside incentive — were less interested in drawing and had not advanced as far technically as the second group. The kids in the second group were able to enjoy drawing for the sake of the act itself; adding incentives had shifted the first group’s focus from the fun of drawing to the ephemeral and rapidly uninteresting act of getting rewards.
It’s not just children who fail to respond to incentives, either. Another study found people were half as likely to do charity work (like delivering meals to homebound invalids) if they were offered money for the job. The ones who were asked to volunteer found intrinsic value to appreciate in the job itself; by offering money, the other subjects shifted their attention from the task to the compensation, and usually found it lacking. They researchers weren’t paying enough to get them to do a job that many of them would have been willing to do for free!
Incentives shift our relationship with what we’re doing, causing us to view our tasks as simply means to the end of gaining the incentive, rather than as activities that are valuable and worth doing in their own right. And too much of our daily lives follow the same pattern, whether they are done for incentives of various kinds or simply for the attainment of some far-off goal.
A life of ends
The trick, then, is treating every activity — or as many as possible, anyway — as an endin its own right. This means approaching the world with a higher level of reflective awareness than most of us are used to. It means taking the time to find a purpose that is internal to the things we do — that is, an incentive that isn’t imposed from outside but is part and parcel of the activity itself.
We talk about this, maybe dream about this, all the time. We speak of work that is its own reward, we lose ourselves in the flow of activity, we long for jobs that have us bounding out of bed every morning. When the things we have to do have their own intrinsic value, and when we engage with them as fully present beings, work stops being a chore and becomes something else, something better.
This isn’t to say that we should turn away from every distasteful task, every job we simply do not want to do. Sometimes we literally do have to do something because the alternative is losing a job we’re otherwise happy with, destroying a relationship, or becoming simply incapable of reaching our goals.
Truth be told, there probably are a lot of times when we’d rather be doing anything else other than the work in front of us, and it truly is the promise of future satisfaction that motivates us. As much as you can, though, try to find the gratification that everything you do over the course of the day might bring you. And if you realize that there’s little in your life that provides its own internal worth, maybe it’s time to start rethinking some things.
WRITER'S BIOGRAPHY
Dustin Wax
Dustin M. Wax is a freelance writer and project manager at Stepcase Lifehack. He is also the creator of The Writer's Technology Companion, a site devoted to the tools of the writing trade. When he's not writing, he teaches anthropology and gender studies in Las Vegas, NV. He is the author of Don't Be Stupid: A Guide to Learning, Studying, and Succeeding at College.
Follow him on Twitter: @dwax.
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Comments
TikiMexican says on April 1st, 2009 at 1:34 pm
The categorical imperative will save us all.
David Cain says on April 1st, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Excellent post.
You’ve hit on something huge here.
My quality of life jumped about a thousand percent when I started treating the means as the end. I can now find pleasure — not just acceptance but genuine pleasure — in all those mundane ‘means’ activities.
I do identify, and enjoy, the anticipated ‘ends’ too, but 90% of life is the means, and now I love all of that too.
That idea is the cornerstone of my whole blog.
I have to read some Kant.
Enrique S says on April 1st, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I used to be a “big picture” guy, and never really focused on the details. By slowing down, I’ve learned to enjoy the journey more, and to appreciate the details. Nice post.
Diana says on April 1st, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Good post. That explains why I am so averse to entering my artwork into contests and juried shows. I avoid it like the plague, even though it could bring me sales and recognition. I work because of the work. Once the work is finished, I am happy. The fact that I also need sales, or get sales, is separate. But looking for gold stars to put in my CV has always been hard for me.
I not only “fail to respond to incentives”, they can ruin the work for me when received after the fact.
That is probably why I left my “real” art behind for a long career in commercial art…plenty of gold stars there as we learned to expect in school. Now I enjoy working for my own rewards, growth, fun, flow, self expression, and connection with others.
Pamela says on April 2nd, 2009 at 8:08 am
It’s nice that at least a couple of your readers have figured out how to value the means. I still struggle with this daily, mostly because my work doesn’t keep me busy.
But I have a question: Can you give a practical example of how you can change ends activity to means activity? The advice above is all very good, but I need scenario to help me apply this. And I need to apply it. Or I will be doomed to anticipating ends until fall 2010.
I love this whole website.
Dustin Wax says on April 2nd, 2009 at 9:36 am
Pamela: The comment that inspired this post was someone saying that all of college for them was just a means to an end, which is sad — 4 years (or more) of desperation in hopes of a meaningless, empty BA. There must be a better way to approach school, I thought, and as I worked it through it seemed there was a more general lesson there.
But what I’d say is this: first, try to figure out how to engage with your “meansish” activities. What meaning can you find in doing your day-to-day activities? This may well take an attitude adjustment on your part. Second, if you can’t do that, you gotta change your activities. You gotta change your LIFE! If 90% of your day is spend on activities that you hate but that you have to do for some externally imposed reason, you’re doomed — 40 years of that then retirement and death? How is that a life?
I admit there will be some activities you just have to do. I’ve long since stoped getting any enjoyment out of faculty meetings, and they are really not “ends” for me, just a way to keep in the good graces of my employers. But it’s a couple hours every month, not the vast bulk of my life. If I were looking at more than 10% of my life where I simply could not engage, I think that would be a wake-up call for me.
Laurie | Express Yourself to Success says on April 2nd, 2009 at 10:59 am
This is a really valuable post. It can change one’s entire approach to life – which I guess is what was your intent.
I try to live this way the best I can, even when incentives are included. Often I ask myself something like, “Would I do this for free / for no recognition / if no one else knew?” It’s great when the answer is ‘yes’ – then the incentive is only a bonus and if I get it or not has no (or little) impact on how I’m spending my life’s time.
Thanks for the thoughtful post.
Travel.justluxe adviser says on April 4th, 2009 at 6:56 am
Life seems at the end when we try to tackle all the problems at a time. It is always better to deal with the problems at the very starting stage instead of letting them to grow beyond control. Thinking positive ahead of others is the best way to live with full colors.
Rich says on April 5th, 2009 at 4:04 am
nice article to read on sunday morning before i set off for a run – thanks. I’ve certainly come to a point career wise where i feel because of a difficult couple of years work wise i’ve become disassociated with the everyday tasks and just focused on bigger picture objectives or ends.
I got myself in to a position where i the means were so hard to cope with each day by focusing just on long terms ends i could get through it. However its meant over time that so many of the tasks and work related roles i perform have little real meaning for me, i just get through them. Doesn’t make for a very rewarding life when all you focus on are long terms ends. I’m trying hard to re-focus my attentions at the moment and this article has really got me thinking.
Will definitely be looking for the ends in everything i do today. Thanks for the thoughts you shared.
Aohkneyugn says on April 11th, 2009 at 6:52 am
Confusing at first. You advocate a “life of ends” by perceiving means as ends in their own right as opposed to means to ends. Many actually refer to this as a “life of means” where the focus is on the means (as an end in its own right) as opposed to the ends (which is the result of a mean).
Jon says on April 28th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
I can see this at work when my 4 year old is drawing. She changed preschools from one where the drawing was a requirement to one where the art supplies were laid out on the table and the kids can come and go. When the requirement was lifted, she draws and colours up a storm, both at school and at home. The act of creation was all the incentive she needs. Such an inspiring post.
Patrick Chuan says on April 30th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Hi Dustin,
I’d happy that you find some profound answer to the purpose of life (or at least, a really good way to live it). Finding an intrinsic meaning to every task would make your life much fuller and happier. I agreed with that.
That’s leads us to the next question; what about our bigger goals? What about our bucket list? Those goals are not going to be achieved if you don’t align your current actions to your goals.
Dustin Wax says on April 30th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Patrick: That’s a really good question. I guess what I’d say is that if you can’t live in the moment in the attainment of those big goals, achieving the goal itself is unlikely to be much more than a momentary thrill. It may well be that the work of now takes its meaning from the big goal in the future, but a) it should have meaning now, whatever the source, and b) it shouldn’t *only* have the meaning for you derived from the future. The process, the journey, the remaking of the self that results in accomplishment is the key, not the moment of completion.
Bursa Evden Eve Nakliyat says on May 24th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
thank you