Getting Change Done: How to Deal with Resisting Change
What do getting out of a bad job, leaving a bad marriage, and abandoning a really bad friendship all have in common?
That’s right: they all require the thing we dread to do as human beings: Change.
A change in perspective. A change in mindset. A change in thinking.
We resist change, and we fear change, and we detest change, because no matter how bad the status quo may get, the fear of the unknown is enough to keep us at bay even if that unknown is the best thing that could happen to us.
We prefer the familiarity of the discomfort and pain to the uncertainty of a better life.
This resistance to change kept me at bay for far too long at a miserable job and I have a feeling that if you are reading this too, it may be keeping you stuck too.
So now that we can admit to our resistance to change, what on earth do we do about it?
Well, you first have to better understand it before you do anything about it. Why do we resist change?
For one, we like normalcy and routine. A lot! It’s uncanny how well routine and human beings go together! We believe routine does us good. We therefore protect routine by avoiding change. We believe all change is a big bad scary monster waiting to jump out at us!
I have a little secret for you, my dear: Not all change is created equal.
Remind yourself that not all change is created equal, so what if you had a horrible experience with change last time, it is completely independent of your experience with a different change next time. The results of each change will depend on where you are in your life, and how you go about choosing to change. They depend on your reasons behind wanting this change, and also your reasons for resisting it. They depend on whether this is a change that impacts a small part of your lifestyle or a change on the grand scale of aligning with your life purpose.
Analyze the change. Understand the change. Embrace and envision the change.
It is an amazing self-discovery process as you learn more how to break down your own resistance against change.
Here are some examples of the different types of change you can experience:
- Bad change: Going from doing well to doing poorly, financially-speaking.
- Good change: Going from a sedentary lifestyle to waking up your body by adding in an exercise and healthy eating program.
- Really bad change: Going from safe smart driving to fast and obnoxious driving just to be “hip” and “cool” among friends.
- Really good change: Going from feeling sorry and trapped in your job to believing that you are unique and can offer plenty to the world, with all your strengths and talents, thank you very much!
So you see, not all change is created equal, and some change can be oh so good for you. So be open to change! Stop being so terrified of change!
In fact, stop being so scared and terrified all the time!
What if you had a momentary paradigm shift and chose to believe, just for kicks, the exact opposite of the norm: that your routine and boring job is actually killing you, little by little, and that only a drastic change in the direction of your values and your beliefs can save you?
What if you thought this way for one day? Would you be more willing to give the right change a try then?
Remember, not all change is created equal, and the right change can do wonders for your soul and your bottom line. Just think about it.
(Photo credit: Changing Tree via Shutterstock)
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