We Ask, You Answer: Advice for Your Younger Self

Jose Ricardo says on January 14th, 2008 at 8:23 am

I’d say: Don’t worry about the future.

Gary Kelly says on January 14th, 2008 at 8:27 am

It has been just over 15 years since I finished university.

The one piece of advice I would offer “me” 15 years ago would be - follow your passion - even if it does not pay very well.

If you are good at what you do and love your career choice - the money will eventually follow.

Sacrifice early to reap the rewards later.

Ole Høegh Hansen says on January 14th, 2008 at 8:36 am

Funny, just yesterday I was thinking about this myself

These three came up:
- be bold
- engage
- don’t worry

Angela says on January 14th, 2008 at 8:42 am

Fifteen years ago…
Now is the time to establish good habits for life - don’t take your 21-year-old health and fitness for granted.

Ten years ago…
Listen more, listen better, pay attention and remember!

Five years ago…
Beware, here there be narcissists.
Or, to put it another way, there are some people in this world who will make your life and others’ a misery and who are so divorced from any reality other than their own that they will never change. Should you have the misfortune to encounter such a person, in whatever capacity, don’t hang around any longer than you absolutely need to.

Kavit Haria says on January 14th, 2008 at 8:48 am

If you get an idea that inspires you, ACT on it IMMEDIATELY!

Sandra G says on January 14th, 2008 at 8:56 am

to myself @ 20: pay more attention to advice from adults

to myself @ 15: pay less attention to advice from adults

to myself @ 10: keep playing, don’t get too serious

to myself yesterday: keep playing, laughing and having fun, don’t get too serious :)

Kathryn says on January 14th, 2008 at 9:00 am

When you’re planning your college major, don’t just think about the classes or subject matters you like most. For many majors, the activities you do day-in and day-out on the job bear little resemblance to the courses you took to supposedly prepare for that job. I think it’s more important to think about *how* you want to work: do you want to work in an office and move up the management ranks to have power, responsibility, and authority? Do you want to be on-the-go? Do you want to work with people, objects or ideas? Teach? Pay attention to the people around you as they perform their jobs, or the jobs that exist behind the scenes of the products and services you use and the places you go…which ones make you think–wow, that must be a really cool/fun/interesting job!

yon says on January 14th, 2008 at 9:07 am

read Ayn Rand

mamelouk says on January 14th, 2008 at 9:18 am

you’re going to have some hard time, your future is better than you can imagine.

(it’s a message of hope, not really a life hack)

Michele says on January 14th, 2008 at 10:09 am

Don’t go out to eat so much; put the money in a high-interest bearing account instead!

and

Don’t get married. :)

alfred says on January 14th, 2008 at 11:05 am

Being older is hard and it only gets harder and harder.

Ari says on January 14th, 2008 at 11:11 am

5 years ago (I was 18):
Don’t stress about relationships. If it works, it does, if it doesn’t…their loss. Be more assertive! Be more spontaneous. Go to college away from home! Go to a co-ed school.

10 years ago (I was 13):
Stop caring about what other people think. Though things suck now (parent’s divorce)…don’t let it get in the way of making friends and doing well in school. Find ways to manage your stress early.

15 years ago (I was 8):
(Haha. What advice do you give to an 8 year old?) Being yourself is so important! Reach out more, engage yourself with others. Never lose the ability to play!

Jason says on January 14th, 2008 at 11:42 am

Most of what you worry about doesn’t matter a lick.

E.D. says on January 14th, 2008 at 11:53 am

5 years ago (26):
Report him to the harassment office and work harder to get him kicked out of the research group. Otherwise it’s going to be a long two years. Start trying to learn about more diverse research areas, since all your adviser cares about is publications.

10 years ago (21):
Take more time for yourself. Sure you could be working harder, but you would go crazy doing it. Take a few hours a week and do something for yourself. Think long and hard about whether or not you want kids in the future, so it doesn’t come back to bite you later.

15 years ago (16):
Keep working hard, but give up on that crush. It’s not going to happen.

Heather says on January 14th, 2008 at 12:25 pm

5 years ago (29):
don’t spend so much money! self-control now means freedom down the road.
tell mom you love her. you don’t know how soon she will die.
don’t believe everything he says! do not fall so hard, so fast.

10 years ago (24):
enjoy the time with your friends! this season of life will change before you know it.

15 years ago (19):
there’s so much you don’t know, but you have such a great opportunity to keep learning. never, never stop learning.
you’re in college–learn how to manage your money now so you won’t have mistakes and habits to fix later.

Brian Head says on January 14th, 2008 at 1:02 pm

Make time for people

Miguel D says on January 14th, 2008 at 1:08 pm

What I would say to myself:

5 years ago (20 years old)
Do not only going to study in university, but also to join some academic group. That would for sure made you to meet more people interested in the same field you are.

10 years ago (15 years old)
Don´t worry if you don´t have a harem. The time for girls will come! Also, stop playing so much SNES. Instead of that, find something that you like and read about that.

15 years ago (5 years old)
Never ever stop asking questions about how the world works. Make “Why?” your favorite one.

James says on January 14th, 2008 at 1:20 pm

The internal debate I would have is the fact that if I did change the way things have gone in my life, I probably wouldn’t have my lovely wife and three beautiful kids. And I wouldn’t want to mess with that.

But, if I could change some things without affecting my ability to meet my wife, I’d go with these:

- Go to either a state university like UB. Going to a private college wasn’t worth the extra money to me.

- Major in something that is a more mobile profession. I was a Chemical Engineering major and I think I would have been better off going to UB and becoming a pharmacist like a couple of my cousins.

- I wish I had all the knowledge I have today with regards to diet and exercise back when I was in high school as opposed to after college. Maybe I wouldn’t have been a fat kid in high school if that were the case………..

- Don’t be afraid to ask people for things you want if the worst outcome is that they tell you no.

Joe says on January 14th, 2008 at 1:37 pm

Get over it and kiss the girl, dammit!!

Tim says on January 14th, 2008 at 1:48 pm

5 years ago: Don’t stress out so much, it will eventually take its toll on you in various forms. You’re going to get through college just fine, so take some more time to have fun with your friends. Plenty of opportunity is going to come your way.

10 years ago: Life beyond high school is actually pretty fantastic, and you won’t live in a world of loneliness forever. In fact, you end up having a lot of friends, so just be yourself and don’t worry about what other people think. Also, stand up for yourself once in a while, people respect that and it will make your life much easier.

20 years ago: Don’t be so selfish, little four-year old Tim. It won’t get you as far in life as you think :)

Tim says on January 14th, 2008 at 1:50 pm

5 years ago: Don’t stress out so much, it will eventually take its toll on you in various forms. You’re going to get through college just fine, so take some more time to have fun with your friends. Plenty of opportunity is going to come your way.

10 years ago: Life beyond high school is actually pretty fantastic, and you won’t live in a world of loneliness forever. In fact, you end up having a lot of friends, so just be yourself and don’t worry about what other people think. Also, stand up for yourself once in a while, people respect that and it will make your life much easier.

20 years ago: Don’t be so selfish, little four-year old Tim. It won’t get you as far in life as you think!

Hayden Tompkins says on January 14th, 2008 at 2:34 pm

Stop coasting.

Marketes says on January 14th, 2008 at 2:56 pm

OK, now take a piece of paper. The lottery numbers for january 1998 are… haha just joking, had to say it.
I would say to me: Yes, she indeed wants you to kiss her, so go and do it… NOW. Oh and make sure of what you want and go after it, not after where some people expects you to go. And “yellow little buckets”. That is nonsense in fact, but would make me think a lot. And hey, you don’t have the opportunity to pull yourself leg every day :D

Leisureguy says on January 14th, 2008 at 3:30 pm

Save 10% of your take-home pay and do not touch it until you retire.

KathyHowe says on January 14th, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Who you are in your 20’s will be vastly different from who you are in your 30’s. Do not make lifelong commitments in your 20’s.

donjaber says on January 14th, 2008 at 4:50 pm

Live in the present.
Pad your future.
Move on from your past.

FUTURE
Odds are you will have one. However there is a chance you might not. Don’t put all your eggs in the present. But don’t put most of your eggs in the future.

PRESENT
It’s the only time that matters. Enjoy your meal today but leave some for the rainy days ahead. Immerse yourself in your 5 senses and affect and be affected by others.

PAST
Pure baggage. Reminiscing your past or holding on to grudges or regrets will keep you from enjoying your present and from planning for your future. Only remember your past to learn from experiences and for the time you may spend in a retirement home.

Jan Dumas says on January 14th, 2008 at 5:26 pm

Twenty years ago, I would have stopped myself from working so hard, and to stop and take a few breaks to enjoy the world. Working does not build good memories, living does.

Ten years ago, be prepared for you life to change. Realize the relationship you thought you had is going to end. Don’t let what is happening paralyze you with fear.

Five years ago, you will never feel this good again. Never!

Terra says on January 14th, 2008 at 6:43 pm

15 years ago (12 years old): stop wasting your energy on self destruction and being “liked.”

10 years ago (17 years old): you’re not going to marry him, so stop planning the wedding. You’ll just end up broke.

5 years ago (22 years old): it doesn’t have to be a perfect relationship for it to work. It just has to be harmonious with what you want.

Steven says on January 14th, 2008 at 6:58 pm

15 Years Ago (20) Keep in touch with your biological father, because you could use his advice now more than ever. Do not let your mothers new boyfriend hijack your family and insist that they pay for your college. Stepdad will divorce mom, steal her house and take all her money.

10 Years ago. (25) Before you go and fuck up your credit, buy houses and fix them up. Rent them out and sell them in 5 years and retire.

5 Years ago, (30) Remember that when people warn you not to work with religious zealots with a penchant for robbing people not of their own faith, you should listen. Zealots should not be trusted.

Tim says on January 14th, 2008 at 6:59 pm

5 years (19) - Women are evil, and don’t drink that beer…you are going to regret what you do next…

10 years (14)- Women are evil, and don’t drink that beer…you are going to regret what you do next…

15 years (9)- Women are evil. Drink water.

James says on January 14th, 2008 at 7:12 pm

My advice to my younger self:

- Be aware of life-altering decisions when you’re young. Think seriously about having kids because they will dramatically change your life.
- Focus on creating the environment to succeed. This may mean living in a certain place, being around certain people, or working somewhere for less money. If you are in a positive environment, you will be both happy and make more progress on your dreams.
- Expand yourself, even if you are sure where you are going. Learn something totally unrelated to your passion, visit a place you wouldn’t normally go. A flexible mind and attitude will take you very far and allow you to handle the uncertainties in life.
- Make your life your passion. Don’t get stuck being defined by your job. Start a website, get your name out there, volunteer, teach.

Steve Nguyen - BeyondBehaviors.Com says on January 14th, 2008 at 10:59 pm

Wow, based on the comments thus far, I think I’m one of the oldest commenters and I’m only 37! Man, do I feel old. Well, here’s my advice to my younger selves…

5 years ago (I was 32) - You are about to embark on the trip of a lifetime. Don’t turn it down it might not come back around. And if it does, TAKE IT, you’ll be so glad you did. It WILL change your life forever.

10 years ago (I was 27) - This is one of the toughest point in your life. Hang in there, things WILL get better. Don’t let the voices and disappointments of others dictate how you should feel about yourself or how you should live your life. Being dismissed from law school is NOT the end of the world.

15 years ago (I was 22) - So what if you’re not sure what you want to do with your life. Do something. Go out and get a real job and experiment. Stop wondering what if and stop looking back. Live in the here and now.

20 years ago (I was 17) - Go to a public instead of a private college. FOLLOW YOUR HEART. Have fun and take lots of different classes in different fields. Try everything. Don’t let fear hold you back.

Amy says on January 15th, 2008 at 1:45 am

5 years ago (26, grad school): Working that hard will pay off, stressing out that much will not pay off. Find ways to work without stressing, NOW.

10 years ago (21, end of undergrad): Try out more new things. Look for work and volunteer experiences that may lead you to an interesting career. Don’t let a failed romance take over school life.

15 years ago (16, end of high school): Apply for an early college program - don’t believe what others say about how hard it is to get in. Ditch friends who treat you badly.

Trish says on January 15th, 2008 at 3:00 am

Me @ 20 - get therapy
Me @ all the other ages between then and now - courage is all

e. boyd says on January 15th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

10 years ago (32): who you choose as a spouse is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Don’t get caught up in romance or the idea of being married–really evaluate your choice carefully.

20 years ago (22): Surround yourself with friends who are supportive and positive. Don’t worry about money.

Ryan says on January 15th, 2008 at 4:17 pm

present age 23 . I am still in school with about 50 hours left for a BAS degree.

College folks- Live and love it! Do trips, hang out all the time. The work will never end, but your college experience will. Learn about yourself, this is the time to sit down and figure out who you want to be. Get involved in all types of on campus activities. Don’t let relationships hurt you, but date around. Get the experience to learn what you like. Don’t settle for anything else other than what you like! This is your time!

Advice for high school- Work your ass off in school and take as many dual enrollment classes as possible. Don’t worry about your GPA! Study for SAT AND ACT! Also get involved in anything to do with school clubs,sports,social events. You only get to do this once in your life! Also spend time with your family every chance you get! Go slow in relationships. It’s like a giant stapler and two sheets of paper. Everytime you make a move a staple goes into the paper. Pretty soon when you break apart lots of holes are left.You have plenty of time to learn and experience those staples.

Advice for middle school! Just pay attention and READ! Focus on having fun don’t let others make you who you are! Hang out with your family

Rxl says on January 15th, 2008 at 5:34 pm

You’re not going to die next week. Figure out what you want to do with your life. You don’t want to be 37, broke, unemployed, and still living in your bedroom at mom’s house.
And don’t move to California with Ed.

Max says on January 15th, 2008 at 6:06 pm

10 yrs ago :
Quit your job, now!
Invest your money better and aggressively.
Spent more time with your loved ones.

Steve says on January 16th, 2008 at 12:48 am

5 years ago - Stay in Seattle.

10 years ago - Reduce your consumer habits and save for your travel dreams and retirement at 50.

20 years - It only takes one attempt to make a baby.

Robin says on January 16th, 2008 at 1:55 am

5,10,20, Now:
It’s more important to be liked than to be right.

Tony says on January 16th, 2008 at 8:36 am

Don’t put off being happy - don’t be that guy that says “I’ll be happy once I can drive / once I get out of high school / once I can buy beer / once I get into med school / once I get married / once I get a promotion / once my kids finish college / once I retire.”

Happiness is NOW, today! Try to find some happiness in the journey of life, because people just cry at the destination. By the time you retire, you body is just gonna want to lay down. When your very health is gone, happiness is just being free of joint pain - and you were free of that for most of your life!

Glen Smith says on January 16th, 2008 at 11:37 am

Very easy. Don’t get married to your first wife.

Zach says on January 16th, 2008 at 1:54 pm

2 yrs ago (22) - As soon as someone cares more about themselves in a relationship than you…they are lying to you when they say “I love you”.

6 yrs ago (18) - Have a lot of respect for others around you. The better you treat others the better you will feel about yourself.

10 yrs ago (14) - Stand up for yourself and don’t let people walk all over you. Life is full of great things, forget people that treat you horribly.

Annie says on January 16th, 2008 at 3:41 pm

5 years ago : go away for college, get your shit done. PICK a major, stick with it. do study abroad. take a photography class. dont get too attached.

10 years ago: prepare for whats about to happen, you haveee no idea!!!

15 years ago:spend time with your grand parents, they wont be around for long.

anca says on January 16th, 2008 at 4:37 pm

5 years ago (24): don’t lower your life expectations. be patient and your high expectations will eventually come true.

10 years ago (19): do not become a person you don’t like, just because other people want you to. be who you are, and evolve in a direction that you choose.

15 years ago (14): be strong, and don’t give in peer pressure. 

André says on January 16th, 2008 at 6:00 pm

Everything more than 2 years ago:

Relax, you will find your way and everything will be fine!

Greetings
André

Sangrail says on January 16th, 2008 at 9:24 pm

My advice would be pretty specific stuff - I *knew* all the general stuff, right?

5 years ago -
You already know not to jump into living with someone, right?
Uh, (unfortunately) you’re enough of a geek that your home is where your computer is.
Deduce as necessary.
And don’t move into a flat without broadband, or in somewhere out of obligation (alternately, yell at the internet company a little more - how lame is it that that would have had a big ripple effect?).
Oh, go out! As much as you can! You’ve moved back, you *are* a local now, ok? Don’t keep hanging back.
And yeah, I don’t need to tell you to do the crazy fun stuff - totally worth it!
Oh, and find something exercise-like to do a couple times a week.
And you have hayfever.

10 years ago -
Hmmmm. I’m not sure. It’s a hard decision even looking back, but maybe you might have been better moving, and living with relatives?
But man. The logistics. Maybe it was just un-possible. Oh well, you’ll make the best of it.
Oh, and keep doing something exercise-like a couple times a week.
And you have hayfever.
And Nana is a *hardass*, remember? Ok, probably not much you can do about that. Unless you’re there. In which case, if Nana says she has abdominal pains, that actually means major surgery, right? So if she kind of mentions she has a sore arm, then that means, say, she’s been going round all week with a dislocated shoulder. Good genes, kid!
Oh, and your uncle? Doesn’t it seem a little worrying that ALL the males of your direct lineage have had heart attacks before the age of 50? Yeah. (Luckily you don’t get those boy genes.)

15 years ago -
Go with the coed school.
And uh, make it really clear to mum - that move didn’t seem the best move.
But hey, now it’s hugely butterfly effect like, and you might end up a different person. Warning: I’m still a bit of a neophile (read: gambler when that involves throwing away the old for the new), so should you really take my advice?
And you have hayfever.
Oh and, far be it for me to stop you cutting all your hair off, but have you thought about dye?

17-19 years ago -
You’re a stubborn little kid, you know that? Just move schools!
Oh, see if they can put you up a year while you’re at it, maybe then you won’t be quite so bored out of your tiny skull, even if no one’s really noticing.
And you’re not just a snotty nosed kid, you have hayfever & cat allergies.
Oh, and frequent bouts of bronchitis (man that sucked). Nana is a hardass (respect, yo), but there’s this thing called *modern medicine*.
Your Mom is totally right about that property, but it’s not like anyone’s going to listen to *you*, either.
Your Grandad *is* totally the coolest person on earth.

Eric says on January 17th, 2008 at 1:47 am

5 years ago - 24yo: let her go, and don’t marry her. It would be very thought, but it will ease a lot of stuff in few years. Listen to your mom, and buy a house now. Never say your secrets to people you know for less than 2 years

10 years ago - 19yo: Algebra is important, learn that shit better. You’re losing time on those chat room, nothing good will ever come of it. Invest all of your money in Apple shares.
Don’t let her go, she’s perfect and you will regret it, she does love you.

15 years - 14yo: don’t worry, one day life will be easier. Just enjoy the freedom of being young, make real friends, be nice with your parents. And keep working your ass off at school, it’s worth the pain.

tim says on January 17th, 2008 at 7:52 am

If I could, I would go back to secondary school. I would tell myself to take boxing lessons, and insist despite my parents advice. Then I would recommend finishing school at 16 and doing an apprenticeship with an electrician and start putting away half my salary. Then I would skip forward 10 years and tell myself to take an access course in computer studies and buy a house, any house.

Jon-Michael says on January 18th, 2008 at 10:38 am

Whatever you do, believe in yourself.

You have untapped potential, and you will accomplish everything you have dreamed about.

Don’t worry so much about what other’s think.

The woman you will be married to in 10 years you currently go to high school with and she’s right under your nose. Don’t waste your time with that other girl.

When you go out on your own, give it all you got and sell out 100%!

No one has the right to tell you you can’t do something great in your life. Don’t allow them to justify their mediocre lives by destroying your dreams.

KT says on January 20th, 2008 at 6:05 pm

Years ago omitted to avoid showing my age. :o)

Advice to myself when I was 3: Your family is abnormal and so are you, in completely opposite directions. Fake being like them while secretly nourishing yourself.

Advice to myself when I was 15: You can go to a judge without fear and be emancipated so you can sign your own scholarship acceptance papers…you can be free of your family and go to college. They cannot put you in juvenile detention or the loony bin for wanting a higher education instead of being held prisoner at home for three years until you are an adult.

Advice to myself when I was 20: Date a LOT more and dye your hair. Don’t drink diet soda or milk and quit eating wheat.

Drew says on January 21st, 2008 at 4:29 pm

To myself at 15: Improve your skillset. Learn a foreign language. Learn a martial art. Learn web design. Learn piano.

Please, if anyone is reading this and still at high school (or even earlier), take this on board. It’s so simple yet can add so much to life! In fact, go back and read it again.

Pouncy says on January 28th, 2008 at 10:31 am

5 years ago: Date other people. You’ll still probably marry him, but what-ifs are a bitch.

10 years ago: Dude, he’s into you too. It’s gonna be drama, but KISS HIM and stop being scared of people complimenting you.

15 years ago: She’s a bitch. Ignore her. In 15 years, her stupid drama won’t matter. Hell, in nine months it won’t, because you KNOW you’re moving. And yes, you’re always going to have a soft spot for Mexican boys with big brown eyes. Try not to fall for the gutter trash one, because this crap’s going to string out for YEARS.

20 years ago: Don’t hit him. Even if he totally deserves it. It starts a horrible cycle that doesn’t end until you’re both a LOT older.

Luna says on January 29th, 2008 at 3:02 pm

20 years ago (age 15): Eat! You’re starting a terrible cycle that will damage your body & emotions permanently. Get help if needed, but eat! Talk to someone, your little sister sees the problem no matter how many bulky sweaters you wear to cover up, she can help even if she is ‘just a kid’. You know this is a problem, please stop it!

15 years ago (20 years old):
1) Don’t give up, you can start a career. Pick something you love and just do it.
2) Be careful with your spending, it will bite you in the butt for many years to come if you don’t.
3) And keep working on eating, you’re doing a bit better but accept that this may be a lifelong struggle but you CAN do this.

10 Years ago: Pick yourself up, dust off and live! Enjoy the good in your life, keep working on fixing the bad.
Yes, ‘this Internet thing’ is important, you really have found a career you love.. now get working on learning what you need, trust me it is worth it, don’t give up, don’t slack and really look at the joy in it. Your life will get better, it’s already starting.

5 minutes ago: What the heck.. didn’t I tell you to stop slacking? Get back to work ;) (PS: I’m glad you took a break to eat a healthy snack.. you’ve come a long way! Keep pushing and looking for the joy in life.)

CBA says on February 1st, 2008 at 4:26 pm

At age 22 (5 years) - Ignore the narcissist, stop dating him simply because you’re lonely. Be with the girl as much as you can, but don’t forget her history of deserting others.

At age 17 (10 years) - Yes, he’s wonderful, I know - but make no promises to him. He won’t keep one for you. Record papa’s stories and songs, you’ll yearn for them in a few years.

At age 12 (15 years) - Spend every moment with grandma that you can, even when she’s asleep. There will be a blond Irishman who gives you a bad feeling but you pursue anyway - stay the hell away from him!! Go for the one in tweed in lives in a basement, trust me on this, he likes you. Do your homework and enter independent study freshman year, graduate when you’re 17 and go away to college. I know you’ll kvetch, but do it.

At age 7 (20 years) - Don’t take everything so personally, none of those girls matter.

At age 1 (have to say it) - Yes the whirring noise is interesting - but do not stick your finger in the pencil sharpener!

And here’s my advice for now ;) - whatever will be will be, keep picking daises and smiling, and when someone leaves just smile at what parts were fun. And don’t be so self-absorbed/off in the clouds.

Nati says on March 19th, 2008 at 8:16 am

15 yrs ago: this too shall pass

10 yrs ago: risk more!

15 yrs ago: you can only help those who want to be helped. focus on yourself. RISK MORE!