11 Ways to Detect and Solve Internet Addiction
Today when I tweeted a call for topic requests, Vered from MomGrind asked me if I could talk about internet and computer addiction. This is a serious problem these days and a lot of people from all walks of life fall prey to it. It might not be unanimously recognized by all psychologists, but it has a great deal of traction and support among many reputable psychiatric researchers. It doesn’t really matter what internet addiction’s “official” status among academics is: almost everyone has known or does know someone who is seriously affecting their life and the lives of those around them through internet addiction.
I’m not a psychiatrist: if you fear your problem is so serious you need professional help, go out and see one.
I’m going to write this article for those who might have trouble leaving the computer behind when the back of your eyes are telling you it’s definitely bedtime, but your spouse hasn’t packed up and left yet as a result of it - not quite a full-blown addiction, just on your way there.
Detecting the Problem
The problem with many addictions is that it can be hard to tell when a hobby has become more than just that, and taken a hold on you. It can also be hard to be honest with yourself when facing a list of symptoms, so make the extra effort now - we’re going to go through a few.
1. You spend more time with the computer than with people. Doesn’t matter if they are your family, your friends or random people you stalk at the mall - the first symptom of the problem is spending more time with the hunk of metal on your desk than with the people in your life.
If there are no longer any people in your life because you spend so much time online, then you really need to close your browser and book an appointment with a professional! A good start would be to use the paper version of the phone book.
2. You can’t abide by your own boundaries. Part of personal development is about setting and abiding by boundaries, which happens to be where most people fail when it comes to addiction. If you tell yourself you’ll only spend an hour online before playing with the kids and end up online until after they’ve gone to bed, you’re in trouble. This self-deception is a clear sign of internet addiction.
3. Lying to others about your computer usage. Number two was about self-deception - this one is about lying to others, particularly members of your family who you may have made deals with regarding your computer usage. Lying about your usage so you can stay on that “little bit longer” is a big, glaring warning sign.
4. Feeling unable to live without the computer/internet. If you feel you can’t go without the internet for more than a few hours, you have an internet addiction. “But I make my living online!” Ask yourself if you could do the work offline and then give it to someone else to execute online - such as writing an article on paper for an assistant or friend to type up and post. Can’t bear the thought of that one degree of separation for even a week? Not a good thing!
Likewise, anxiety when you’re separated from computers is a sign to watch for. I get like that when I leave my mobile phone at home - perhaps I’ve got a problem there!
5. Misguided spending on your computer. Did your hard drive just die and, despite the fact you couldn’t afford rent or Johnny’s daycare fees this week, you went out and bought a replacement? When the anxiety of having no functional computer demands money required for other expenses, it indicates a dependency.
Solving the Problem
Solving the problem on your own, or with the support of your family, requires that you’re doing so before it gets out of hand and to the point where you need to pay excessive prices for therapy. If you’re unsure, trying to solve it on your own and seeing how far you get is a great test - if you can’t manage it, go get help.
1. For the web-workers - get a virtual assistant. They can be fairly cheap and every hourly rate spent on them is one hour that you can shave from your computer time. This won’t solve the problem on its own, but web-workers will have a harder time defeating internet addiction and need to spend as little time as possible online when not completing essential work, at least until the addiction is dealt with.
2. Set your computer usage boundaries early on. There’s no point trying to change your habits if you haven’t decided on your new boundaries. How long are you going to use the computer from now on? For what purposes? Decide this first, take action second.
3. Get your family and friends onside. Ensure your family keeps you accountable and limits the amount of time you spend online. Set a time limit in hours or minutes and make it clear that there are no valid excuses for extended use; you’ve got to be dragged away from the computer no matter what, once your time runs out.
4. Give them the passwords. Once you’ve got the agreement of your family or roommates to help you out, let them change the passwords to your computer’s user account, the modem or router, and your email account. I’m tempted to leave this next sentence out for the sake of the self-deceivers, but you may be able to avoid this pretty ruthless precaution if you can still manage to self-regulate with the help of some self-discipline.
5. Modify your routine. If you trap yourself by checking email first thing in the morning or heading straight for the computer when you get home from work, intending to get off and do other things but never quite getting there, change your routine a bit and get other things out of the way first. It’s much easier to get off the computer if you don’t get on it! Wait until you’ve done your household chores and got time spent with the kids (or pets, if that’s more your thing) out of the way, then give yourself some net time. Reward yourself, in small amounts, for holding out.
6. Don’t use the computer for recreational purposes. Remove the emotive feel-good incentive to use the computer by using it for business and email. Get it done and get off. Uninstall computer games, and vow to stay away from social networks and other recreational web destinations for at least a month or two.
Find recreational activities in real life and completely replace your internet entertainment with them. Completely. Seriously, I mean it!
6. Track your progress. Remind yourself how much good progress you’re making by tracking the amount of time you spend online compared to the boundaries you set in step one. Only spent 8 hours online out of the 10 you allotted for the week? Great work - you’ll do even better next week!
These tips should get you well on your way to a more balanced life - what are your tips? Leave them in the comments!
WRITER'S BIOGRAPHY
Joel Falconer
Offering a unique perspective and insight on productivity based on his experience as a writer, musician, family man and manager, Joel Falconer has been published online and off, and brings to Lifehack's readers practical advice you can use to be more efficient and effective.
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Comments
Shanel Yang says on June 9th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I’m willing to bet that a lot of bloggers fit the criteria you laid out for this addiction — except perhaps No. 3. Now that I’ve begun leaving comments on other people’s blogs, I find that I am spending 10 - 12 hours a day in front of my computer. Is this the norm for bloggers who post only 1 article per day? I have no idea how those of you do it post 2 or more lengthy, in-depth articles per day!
I’m not a psychologist, either; but, I did study addictions and abnormal psychology in college. One important criteria for any “abnormal behavior” is that it causes significant distress or disability. Well, luckily I’m not there yet. But, my problem may end up being not so much computer addiction as good old-fashioned workaholism.
Thanks for the interesting thoughts!
Vered says on June 9th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
“I’m going to write this article for those who might have trouble leaving the computer behind when the back of your eyes are telling you it’s definitely bedtime, but your spouse hasn’t packed up and left yet as a result of it - not quite a full-blown addiction, just on your way there.”
Yup, that would be me.
“Get your family and friends onside. Ensure your family keeps you accountable and limits the amount of time you spend online. Set a time limit in hours or minutes and make it clear that there are no valid excuses for extended use; you’ve got to be dragged away from the computer no matter what, once your time runs out.”
I LOVE this one and am going to adopt it starting tonight. I told my husband that he is to DRAG ME AWAY from the computer at 9pm each night, NO MATTER WHAT.
The problem is, he is so good-natured that if I beg for one more hour, he might cave in.
But he received clear instructions, so we’ll see how it goes.
Thank you Joel.
Glen Allsopp says on June 9th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I’m quite sure a lot of the readers here (and bloggers) will suffer from this due to the fact there is so much great information out there.
I work online so I kind of have to use the internet a lot although If i didn’t I’m sure I would anyway, it can be a great way to pass time.
Dereks says on June 9th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Well, firstly, I think such description is a bit outdated.
What about chatting with your friends via Skype? And than, if you spend a lot of time using gadgets, laptops and other tech-stuff? Does it qualify as !computer! addiction?
And the last point. Sure, such things, like family are out of question - if computer comes between, there can’t be any hesitation.
But all the rest - I’m not so sure. Why should you fight such addition, what will it bring you? Computer is the leader of productivity management. As long as you use it this way, nothing can replace it. And moving off will bring nothing but real, objective inconveniences.
Social life? Well, basically everybody knows, but hardly ever spells it out - hanging out IS a waste of time. You can spare a day or two for managing good people connections, keep good relations with those, whom you really value and that’s all. All the rest, who invite you to toss a glass after work aren’t worth it!
Dana says on June 9th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Some people are just not that social and if they didn’t spend most of their time with their computer it would be with a book instead.
me says on June 9th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Great food for thought, however, isn’t it a bit risky to give out your password? I’d rather be addicted to the computer/internet than do that.
Joel Falconer says on June 10th, 2008 at 12:33 am
@Shanel: I’m betting those who write two lengthy posts each day either have the ability to write very quickly, don’t use social media, or write articles in intense batches so they can do other things during the week. I don’t usually post more than one article a day on my own blog, but I am fortunate enough to write pretty quickly.
@Vered: Hopefully Ido will hold up to the challenge
Thanks for the inspiration!
@Glen: Agreed; the Internet is a great way to pass time and surely beats watching television. It’s only a problem when it interferes with your real life.
@Dereks: As I wrote in the article, it is only a problem once it starts interfering with your life.
@Dana: Also nothing wrong with that, until it starts interfering with the rest of your life - even people who aren’t very social have jobs, families etc (nine times out of ten anyway).
@me: It certainly can be risky, so you have to be careful who you choose to deal with. If you can’t give your password to say, your wife, then there are certainly issues in the marriage
Corey Blum says on June 10th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
The based way to solve internet addiction is to start and grow a business, in any industry, but maybe internet. For expert tips from John Assaraf, serial entrepreneur and motivational speaker, check out site:
http://www.readtheanswer.com/index.php?rta=snet
Thanks everybody.
ClickALifeCoach says on June 11th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
I am learning here! In the past I was sitting at the computer, going to my favourite websites, reloading my webmail every couple of minutes - just in case I would miss something. I found that although I spent a lot of time in front of the computer I didn’t get much work done.
I am changing and for me it starts with a plan, before I start my daily computer/internet session, I write down what I want to achieve on the day. I find I focus more on the work and I get less side tracked.
rob says on June 12th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
just turn off the computer. when it’s running it’s too much of a temptation to take a moment and check the email and before you know it 2 hours have flit away.
Joel Falconer says on June 12th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
@ClickALifeCoach: Glad to hear you’re forming good habits.
@rob: Only 2?
Bully Jones says on June 15th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I spend around 12 - 15 hours a day on the net, 7 days a week. When I’m not on the computer, like watching tv for instance, a topic or word or name will come up and I’ll ask myself “I wonder what Wikipedia has to say about that?” and go fire up my machine. Sometimes I get so bored with the internet that I’ll spend 5 minutes staring at my home page and wonder what the hell I’m going to do next, then go to my favorites and randomly pick something. I definitely have a major problem and have come to a love/hate relationship with this beast. I even thought about sabotaging my computer so I wouldn’t have a choice. The upside is that over the last four years of this addiction, I’ve become a true polymath in every sense of the word.
Zeraw says on June 17th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Well that’s completly stupid ! Why do you consider “social life” as superior to computing ?
Internet is a new way to life. It will become like food, water and air in some years.
There’s no reason to “solve” internet addiction. Begin by solving your useless social addiction.
Talking to people about what you’ve done last week-end is a worst lost of time than reading the news on the internet.
And sorry for my bad english. I learned my english on the internet…
Joel Falconer says on June 18th, 2008 at 7:42 am
@Zeraw: If you have children and you neglect them because you can’t get your ass of the net, is that healthy? This “way of life” you preach is not a life; it’s unhealthy, physically and mentally. Not cool.
And if the relationships you have with other people extend no further than talking about the weekend, well, I feel sorry for you. Sounds like you may have an internet addiction.
Trish says on October 9th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
The best way to understand internet addiction is through the discussion provided by http://www.CarlJungTypes.com They make a distinction between the psychology of the internet and the psychology of the world wide web. One is addictive another is not.