Against all odds, I became a world traveler in my 25th year.
It began, as all things inevitably do, with a girl. I thought it was ever-lasting love. She was setting out for a year abroad — a summer in Germany, then an academic year in England. I decided, halfway through our summer apart, that I’d join her in England.
Ah, youth.
The relationship didn’t even last until my departure date, but with tickets bought, baggage acquired, traveler’s cheques already paid for, I decided, “Why not?”
Best decision I ever made.
What I learned in my year abroad, besides the lessons of the healing of a broken heart and the awakening of a real relationship (for in London I met the woman I’d be with the next 7 years), besides the proper way to indicate the number “two” to a British person (hold your thumb and forefinger up; the typical US “V” with the index and middle finger means something rather else indeed in Britain, especially if your palm is facing you), besides the joys of hostel living and on-the-cheap backpacking (ah, Prague…) — what I learned was something simple and liberating, something I call “the Tao of Travel”.
The Tao of Travel is short — no epic poems here to pass down through the centuries, no book-length treatises explaining the finer points of language, no silky-voiced narrator reading the audiobook. It goes, simply, like this:
“What the [expletive] do I care?”
I take it you’ll work out which expletive easily enough — it’s hardly the most important part. Not worth offending anyone’s content filter over. You could, really, drop it, or replace it with “heck” or “doodlydoo”. In my life, though, it was definitely an expletive.
Now, that may seem simple, and it is — but not too simple. It was a kind of mantra I chanted to myself when I was about to excuse myself out of the very kinds of experiences I had decided to travel for in the first place.
Here’s an example: It’s 11:00 pm. Pubs in London close at 11:00 (or did when I was there, circa 1996), and I have to be at work at 7:00 am. But clubs are open several hours later, if you don’t mind the price of admission and the exorbitant cost of beer (served in bottles, not from draught). Inevitably, someone suggests we hit a club.
My inward response: “Well, I have to get home, I have to go to work tomorrow and if I stay out late I’ll be tired and cranky and… eh, what the [expletive] do I care?”
My outward response: “Sure, let’s do it!” Because, really, did I come to London to chop tomatoes for sandwiches (I worked in the cafe at the National Gallery), or did I come to hit late-night clubs in Camden Town?
The Tao of Travel is, I think, a fair sight more compelling than that old chestnut, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”. First of all, the Romans drive really small cars like insane people, and I don’t even own a really small car. Second of all, I think traveling should be about something more than doing what the locals do.
I mean, don’t even think about doing what the tourists do. I’m not advocating that horror. But traveling is about experiencing things new and fresh — something the locals simply can’t do. After all, you are a local, when you’re at home. How exciting is that?
And really, going well beyond what the locals do is not only valuable for you, the traveler, it’s valuable for the locals themselves. Travelers — real travelers, travelers with a sense of derring-do and adventure, and a bit of the Tao of Travel about them — give people a chance to show off, to experience their everyday surroundings as if they were fresh and new. You can easily take that old ruin on the side of the hill for granted — it is, after all, just a place where teenagers go to drink and make out — until some traveler passing through asks you what it is. Ah, there’s a story to be told…
But that story only gets told to the traveler who asks himself (or herself), when faced with a hundred reasons why this side-trip or that diversion or those few more hours out in the face of a busy day are a bad idea, asks herself (or himself), “what the [expletive] do I care?”
And that’s the Tao of Travel.
Or at least my Tao of Travel. With summer — and that means vacations — fast approaching, we here at Lifehack decided to devote this month to the theme of travel. So for the next few weeks, look for tips, advice, and maybe, just maybe, a little Tao.
















An interesting perspective.
Usually the emphasis of travel advice is on ‘doing what the locals do’, but it’s very true that as a visitor or expatriate you can see and appreciate things that locals sometimes take for granted.
Pocketcultures: Yes! Don’t get me wrong: my take on travel is much more oriented towards the locals than the touristy stuff (though let’s be honest, you’re in Rome, you pr’y want to gawk at the Forum!). When I’m traveling, I like to buy food at groceries or open-air markets, I like to hang out in locals pubs, I don’t feel the need to seek out other Americans in tourist-oriented establishments. But in the end, you’re still an outsider, and I think that’s something you can take advantage of.
“It began, as all things inevitably do, with a girl.” Sigh. I enjoy your writing and I hate to be curmudgeonly, but I thought we hashed through these issues back in the 60′s and 70′s. Please keep in mind that your readers are not all male (nothing in my life “began with a girl”) and that referring to a young woman of dating age as a “girl” is considered derogatory by women. Otherwise, keep writing, I’m a fan.
Great post and an interesting perspective. I hate traveling as most people do it. I would rather spend several months and immerse myself into the culture.
That’s awesome. Good for you!
Then again – skipping some touristy things is also stupid. Come to Paris – miss the Eiffel Tower? :-) Come on…
Go beyond locals + tourists to… what exactly? Exactly!
I believe the tao of any activity which is supposed to be about relaxation and enjoyment is to do whatever you think will accomplish that end. That’s different for each person. There’s a reason the “tourist” activities are so stereotyped and cliched. They’re what a lot of people have fun doing. More power to them.
I’ve lived in Japan for 20 years and doing what the locals do doesn’t do it for me. What I enjoy is talking to people and learning what is under the surface, but that is very much not the cup of tea of people who are visiting for just a week or so.
One of the most enjoyable vacations I took was in Texas. Rather than go to any tourist sites, just got in a car drove, stopped when I fancied and talked to people. I got to experience things I would otherwise have missed and had an amazing time.
I would have to agree with J.M. It’s great to visit tourist sites, like monuments, museums, religious institutions, etc, but what makes those visitations truly memorable are when you have a personable experience talking with new people. I’m going to Malaysia and India this summer, and seeing the Taj Mahal and other sites is exciting, sure, but I’m more interested in meeting new people, and learning a bit about their perspectives on life.
Dot: “I thought we hashed through these issues back in the 60’s and 70’s. Please keep in mind that your readers are not all male (nothing in my life “began with a girl”) and that referring to a young woman of dating age as a “girl” is considered derogatory by women.”
Yes, absolutely. I hash this out every day — I’m a women’s studies professor! I was trying, I guess not successfully, to convey some of the sense of “young and stupid” that shaped my thinking those days. (I was, like a lot of sensitive young men, that particular breed of misogynist known as “the nice guy”.) In this case, young and stupid gave way to old and not quite as stupid, I hope — and traveling was a big part of that.
Maybe that “all things” is a little over-inclusive, though — I thought it was wry and humorous (I was thinking old noir novels…), but I see your point. I’ll let it stand as an object lesson in how easily unintended meanings can sneak into even the most innocently-intended statements.
Everyone: By all means see the Eiffel Tower (how can you avoid it, it’s really really tall!) and Taj Mahal. That’s not the touristy stuff I’m talking about. What kills me is to see American tourists staying in American-oriented hotels with American tour groups and visiting “the sights” with other Americans, talking to locals only long enough to ask where the nearest Aemrican restaurant is, and asking in American! And by “American” I mean US — the Canadians manage much better than the USians with the same accents.
That said, I lived and worked less than a mile from the Tower of London for 6 months and never even saw it. And don’t feel any particular loss.
I love to travel. I have travelled in Asia, Europe, and all over US by the time I was 25. I particularly love living in the States as a student. I was lucky that a dotcom was willing to sponsor me after I graduated. Anyone who is interested in coming to US, I highly recommend that you look into Nolo’s Student & Tourist Visas. It is not as hard as you think to come to the land of opportunities! \^_^/
I moved to Canada for several months when I was 24, and recently one of my friends has moved to the US after living in Canada all her life. On her first trip out of the country, she decided she loved it and ended up moving to the US!
Fuzzy, your experience seems to be more common than we think! I wish my friend had known about the book you recommended when she moved! I’ve looked at some of Nolo’s books before, and they’ve never let me down.
When I was planning to marry a Canadian for citizenship, I read their Fiance and Marriage Visas cover-to-cover. If I had been coming to the US instead, that would have been the perfect resource!
Thanks for the awesome blog, Dustin! It’s great that you’re showing people how amazing and in-depth travel can be! :)
[...] might also be useful to know where my head is when I travel. In The Tao of Travel I expressed horror at the way most tourists travel. The target of my scorn isn’t the [...]
the art of war…
…He wrote that . . ….