The One Thing That Makes Love Work
You can’t walk down the street at this time of year without seeing a schmaltzy couple draped over each other or a window full of love hearts. Whether you like it or not, the trappings of St Valentines Day can be seen everywhere.
Now, I’ll put my hands up right now and tell you that I’ve screwed up my fair share of relationships. I still get tongue-tied when I see a beautiful woman, I’ve pushed people away to protect myself and I’ve run round and round in circles wondering how things ’should’ be done.
Despite that, there’s a heap of things I do know about relationships. I know that it’s important to know what you really need from one; I know that you need to be in a place where you feel ready to be in a partnership with someone; I know you need to open up your baggage so that it doesn’t weigh you down or steer things in the wrong direction; I know that relationships aren’t about blaming someone else for what’s wrong or needing to be right and I know that the things you like and love about your partner are what matter, not what you don’t like.
But what I’ve also learned is that all of that stuff is useless without one, simple thing:
You have to be ready to let go and make it up as you go along.
I call this act of letting go “freefall”, because there’s a point where you just have to let yourself go; a point where you have to loosen your grip and let gravity take its course.
Love isn’t about game playing and it isn’t about logic, and all the relationship tips, advice, checks and balances mean nothing unless you agree to do this one thing.
Loving someone is scary, confusing and unpredictable, and the catalyst to making a choice to freefall is a big bag full of courage. You have to trust yourself to feel your way through and you have to forget about the old rules you’ve set and all the “should’s” and “ought’s” that set you spinning.
Be willing to make it up as you go along. Be willing to let your heart play a bigger role. Be willing to admit that you don’t know what you’re doing and be willing to take a chance.
As far as love goes, we’re all in the same boat. Play from the heart.
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