Despite what you may think, there are lifehacks to be learned from the television show Seinfeld. Take for example the episode “The Opposite”- George Costanza decides that every decision that he has ever made has been wrong, and that his life is the exact opposite of what it should be. George decides to do the opposite of everything he has done before, and great things begin to happen to him:
What George inadvertently discovers is Victor Frankl’s lifehack for overcoming fear and anxiety, called paradoxical intention.
How to use Paradoxical Intention
If you want to overcome fear and anxiety (including obsessive-compulsiveness and phobias), do the opposite of what you ordinarily do- deliberately wish for that which you fear, in order to remove it. According to patient statistics, paradoxical intention is successful in 80-90% of cases.
As fitting with a Seinfeld episode, humor is the key to using paradoxical intention. “The neurotic who learns to laugh at himself may be on the way to self-management, perhaps to cure”, says Godon W. Allport in his book The Individual and His Religion. Unable to maintain your diet due to fear of food binging? Eat as much as you can next week. Unable to fall asleep due to fear of sleeplessness? Try to stay awake as long as possible. The pure absurdity and humor of such suggestions are what allows one to put himself at a distance from his own fear and anxiety.
How Paradoxical Intention Works
Frankl says, “as soon as the patient stops fighting his obsessions and instead tries to ridicule them by dealing with them in an ironic way- by applying paradoxical intention- the vicious circle is cut, the symptom diminishes and finally atrophies.” Paradoxical intention seems to reverse the patient’s attitude, taking the wind out of the sails of anxiety.
Sweating Out Your Fears
An example was given in Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. A young physician who had a fear of perspiring. His anticipatory anxiety of perspiration actually caused him to excessively sweat around certain individuals. Frankl advised the patient to use paradoxical intention, by deliberately showing people how much he could sweat. When the patient tried this, he was able to permanently free himself of a 4-year-old phobia, within one week.
Paradoxical Intention is Not a Panacea
If you are fighting anticipatory anxiety, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, or phobias, my suggestion is to give paradoxical intention a try. But if you are having suicidal thoughts, or have a mental disorder such as schizophrenia, paradoxical intention is not a good solution. I’m not an expert on paradoxical intention, and I don’t want to mislead anyone with this post- please do your own research, and talk to a medical professional if your condition is serious.
Thanks for the article. I am getting nervous about an upcoming conference where I will have to speak in front of a large crowd.
After reading the article I initially could not figure out how to apply it to my fear… Then, I realized and it worked. I simply decided that I hope I say or do something ridiculous and stupid in front of the crowd. It actually helped me feel a bit calmer. Thanks for the tip!
I use this same thing in my marriage, but with my parent’s as the “opposite” – they had such a crappy relationship that whenever a situation comes up with DH, I think, what would my parents do and do the opposite.. I call it the George Costanza method of marriage counseling…
Excellent.
In business, you can use this this technique too. If your business isn’t growing enough, whenever you are trying to decide what to do, do the opposite. If you were going to clean your desk, make prospecting calls instead. If all you normally do is make prospecting calls, take some time to follow up with your existing clients.
Doing the opposite is especially helpful in overcoming procrastination.
@Success Professor- Thanks for the additional tips, it seems that paradoxical intention can help in areas outside of fear/anxiety. I’ll have to experiment with it when I procrastinate next (=
@Amanda- That’s hilarious… Although I can see how it would work… Your parents get in an argument and stop talking to each other. You get in an argument w/your husband and you continue talking, work through the issue.
@Victor- Glad it could help w/your fear of public speaking- check out Victor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning for more details on how to use it.
Isn’t funny where inspiration can come from? I try to follow this approach whenever I’m afraid or anxious about something and I’ve found it works every time. When I was younger I used to be afraid of needles. I couldn’t stand the thought of them. I finally got tired of this fear and decide to start regularly giving blood. I think it was part the fact that I was doing good for others and immersing myself in the situation I was afraid of. Only until you face the fear straight on will you finally realize how ridiculous it is and will you get over it. Great post!
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The clip of the show was hilarious. I remember that episode…doesn’t everything fall apart in the end (he loses the job)?
I haven’t tried paradoxical intention yet. Thanks for explaining the Costanza way!
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Some great ways to overcome anxiety are:
breathing techniques
practicing yoga
working thru your fear by defining what exactly you are afraid of