I’ve never been one to sit on my hands and wait for some cosmically pre-ordained life purpose to miraculously reveal itself via a series of dreams, visions or prophecies. Or for an angel to appear at my window with hand-written instructions from God. Although an angel would be pretty cool.
Nor have I been the type to buy into the widely-held view of destiny and I’ve mostly considered (the concept of) fate to be the refuge of the indecisive, the lazy, the fearful and the deluded. But that’s just my (not-very-popular) view. For many people, the traditional concept of destiny provides a level of comfort and if there’s one thing we fearful, lazy creatures like; it’s comfort.
In some ways, destiny is our (perceived) escape clause: life’s all predetermined anyway, so what’s the point of working hard, taking chances, getting uncomfortable and setting goals?
Destiny Schmestiny
People talk about destiny all the time. Especially when they’re talking about big-picture life stuff. Or when they’re rationalising why something didn’t (or won’t) happen. “Don’t worry Darling; it’s not meant to be”. The term destiny has an almost romantic, mystical, feel-good kind of vibe about it. “That was always going to be her destiny” (as the orchestra comes to life in the background).
It seems that no matter what she did (thoughts, behaviours, reactions, decisions, plans, goals) her life, or part thereof, was predetermined by destiny. It was always going to unfold in a certain way. Despite her; not because of her. Apparently some unseen, cosmic force was firmly behind the steering wheel of her life. She didn’t really have to touch the controls because her life path (destiny) was pre-ordained and non-negotiable.
Am I the only person who considers this thinking to be a load of self-limiting, mumbo-jumbo crap? Am I missing something obvious? Why on earth would anyone buy into this? Oh, that’s right; it requires less effort and courage than the alternative.
Beyond our Control
In my opinion, one of the most destructive notions we embrace is the traditional concept of destiny. Why? Because it teaches us that our life, and what we might do, be, create and achieve in this life, is somehow beyond our control. Some people embrace this kind of thinking because it takes pressure off them to steer their ship, shape their own future, and be responsible for what they produce in their world.
Take a look at what conventional ‘wisdom’ teaches us about destiny:
De-sti-ny (noun):
1) The predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.
2) The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one’s lot.
3) A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control.
If the above dictionary definitions are to be accepted and believed then I may as well sit on the couch and let life happen to me, around me and despite me, because apparently, it’s all gonna eventuate in a particular way no matter what. It’s predetermined. Inevitable. We’re all just helpless passengers on destiny’s back.
I wish someone had shared this with me earlier; I wouldn’t have wasted so much time making those tough decisions, taking those chances, facing my fears, dealing with my destructive habits, overcoming those obstacles, going to university, working hard and busting my arse to create my best life.
To think that people actually believe this “preordained, inevitable and beyond human power” crap? Give me a bucket. I’ll create my own destiny, thanks.
What about you?
Wonderful post. I believe the same applies to the concept of luck.
“you’re so lucky to have/do this/that/the other”
Erm, not really, I kinda had to work my backside off to get it, luck didn’t really play a factor.
This is why most people don’t LIVE their lives. Of course, it doesn’t help that religion gives us God’s plan (or some variation of it), science gives us a determinitic universe, and newspapers gives us horoscopes that ‘tell us what to expect for the day’.
Destiny and Motivation
It’s funny that you think destiny means:
sit on my hands
indecisive
lazy
fearful
deluded
comfort
self-limiting
mumbo-jumbo
A lot in the way of loaded words.
It seems like a seemingly lazy understanding of destiny. What about the potential for destiny to provide the motivation that you need to fulfill it?
Americans believed in Manifest Destiny. That they were destined for greatness and an expansion of the nation from coast to coast. They made it happen.
Your unwavering belief in the greatness of your destiny can focus your actions to achieve what you believe will happen. There’s something powerful in that.
Try to keep an open mind, Craig. What’s with the chip on your shoulder regarding “destiny”? Those that believe destiny requires inaction are those that are destined for nothing.
I know extreme positions make the argument and that you’re not claiming to be completely self-made but there are not many people who completely surrender to concepts of fate, either.
Then again, I define destiny as the sum of our choices. I disagree to the extent that the actor is the only one who chooses.
There are events that are outside our individual control and how we react to them shapes our destiny. But the idea that our lives are completely driven by our wills is arrogant at best.
The job I have now is the best possible job for my interests and skillset but I got it after being cold-called by a recruiter. Have I seized the opportunity I was given? Yes. Did I create that opportunity? Not by myself.
Whether you want to call that luck, fate, destiny or some fourth thing is more a matter of semantics than a statement of metaphysical fact.
You are not as alone on this idea as you seem to think. MANY people do not believe in destiny and believe they have control over their own lives. I, for one, am against your idea here because it’s almost like you’re forcing yourself to believe that water isn’t water until you decide that it is, in fact, water.
As defined, destiny is beyond your control, and as you say, you’ll create your own destiny. But I don’t understand – why does destiny have to always be viewed as something contrary to what one actually wants in life?
Destiny is also supposed to be predetermined and inevitable, yet proponents of your idea always assume that by making a choice, they’re going against destiny. What’s the difference between, for example, your parents pushing you your whole life to be a doctor but then you become an engineer instead, when your destiny could have foretold that you were going to become an engineer instead of the doctor your parents wanted?
It’s not that I’m against making individuating choices. I’m all for it. I just don’t understand the bad connotation associated with the word “destiny” and the default assumption that whenever you have a thought, it’s going against your destiny.
“Faith without works is dead” This could also be read as “Destiny without works is no-existent”.
I agree that nothing comes to people who never take action, but for those who do take action, their destiny awaits them.
I agree with Mike. There are things that are out of your control. I think that there are different paths laid for us. Our choices determine where we go. Sometimes these paths overlap, and sometimes they branch off on their own.
-some random thoughts on the topic-
I think that you can look back and say something was someones destiny. But thats the key it is looking backward after the fact. Call no man happy until he is dead. So I agree with you that for the most part it is not useful in general, except perhaps as an aspirational statement (I am destined to be a star). From a religious perspective if there is an omnipotent, omniscient, eternal, God then from his (her/its) perspective there would be a “destiny” because they stand outside of time and can see the whole tapestry of one’s life. I think that is why the concept of free will is so theologically important. You have complete free will but what you will choose is known by God (fate). This then can reconcile two seeming opposite concepts (fate and free will). This also provides some justitification for the existance of evil. Evil is allowed (defined as turning from God’s will / the highest good) by a Good God because without choice there is no free will. Love by its nature is a free choice not fated not required. So in a sense evil and free will are required in order for Love to be able to be expressed. God by his nature (which is love) is inherently compelled to create things to love and allow choice. None of that however invalidates the existance of fate from a certain perspective. So in conclusion, I believe in fate but usually find it’s existance not particularily useful in day to day life. Your life is both predetermined and me determined at the same time.
I think you’ve missed the point on destiny. We say about a person “That was always meant to be her destiny” (cue orchestra) because it’s obvious through the choices and decisions of her life that she *made* it her destiny.
There’s different ways to view the word destiny. What I think Craig means in this article is that he is trying to refer destiny as our life controlling the outcome for us, rather than us being able to control our life.
But when you look at a human being’s destiny from the perspective of the universe, it’s a lot different from looking at a human being’s destiny through our own eyes. We can control our destiny in our lifetime but it’s only for so long. After that, our destiny may be controlled by some other greater force that is beyond ourselves.
Doesn’t matter.
Act as if you have free will.
If it’s all pre-determined, it won’t matter because that was your destiny.
If there is free will, you will have done your best to use it.
Cheers.
As a scientist, the author should know that the universe operates on the laws of physics which are completely “pre-determined”. Every particle in the universe functions in accordance with these “pre-determined” laws, including the particles that make up our brains.
“Decisions” are just thoughts.
Thoughts are properties of the brain.
The brain is made of chemicals.
Chemicals obey the laws of chemistry.
The laws of chemistry are “pre-determined”.
Therefore – our decisions are pre-determined.
Well said, I though it was only me sitting on the mumbo jumbo side.
my life would be so much easier if I were gullible enought to believe destiny and other “stuff” (fate, fairies, leprechauns, spirits etc).
I have no doubt that “destiny” is a very interesting notion to discuss about.
However, I feel compelled to share a quote from Albert Einstein which I have just discovered just a while ago from the post “10 amazing life lessons you can learn from Albert Einstein” I read at the Dumb Little Man blog.
Einstein said : “I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.”
I tend to agree (this guys is brilliant!). It is not that I don’t believe in “Destiny” but I just don’t feel that we should give much attention to it.
Totally agree. I don’t believe that what happen to us in our life is predetermined by some “higher power”.
Of course we cannot be in control 100% – other people’s actions, natural disasters etc all have influence on us. But it is not destiny :=)
Craig is spot on with his article on taking control of life. Mike in post 4 is also correct in pointing out there are things you can’t control. You can’t control a lot of things, like which country you’re born in, whether you’re attractive or not, whether you have good genes or bad genes, whether you have a great family or an abusive one. But you can control your behaviour, your choices. Life isn’t what happens to you, but how you respond to events that happen to you (if you haven’t started any events yourself). In that sense our lives ARE completely driven by our wills, and if we come up against our own limitations or set by problems we can’t overcome, the least we can say is that we tried.
Dave’s Manifest Destiny is bogus. It’s just a glorified version of 1) people setting goals, 2) other people believing in it enough to take action and 3) overcoming any obstacles that are put in their path, if they can. Nothing is ever certain in life.
Take control of your life? yes.
Is life pre-determined? no.
But I agree whole-heartedly with those who have said that destiny does not mean ‘laziness’ or ‘inevitable’ but instead it’s something that needs to be seized and realized rather than squandered.
I believe that I am ‘destined’ to do great things, and I work really hard every day to make sure I don’t screw it up.
Of course that everything could be explained by Destiny or God because the alternative outcomes of one action could not be tested with 100% certainty. So if a person passes under a balcony and a pot falls on his head – it is explained by destiny. But if the person decides to take another route and passes on the other side of the street – it is again destiny.
I do not deny that there people’s lives are often determined by some predispositions, but those are controlled by their genes, i.e. not “Destiny”. If we look at the etymology of the word “destiny” – from Latin destinatus, pp. of destinare “make firm, establish” – we see that this could refer either to the predetermined conditions (or objective causes) or to the established by ourselves paths and “destinations”.
All that to say that there could be two points of view. In the first, the person is attributing the power to control his life to some higher power (the Destiny) that does not exist; which leads to the decision just not to make purposeful decisions and to be passive. In the second case, the person decides that nothing but him can control the decisions in his life. Therefore he sets his goals, chooses his destinations, and makes active choices in order to attain these goals and to fulfill his purpose. There is no “Destiny” in both cases; it is just the way we choose to deal with the given circumstances and to shape our future. Of course believing or not in the chosen path can make a big difference as to whether or not we will be able to walk all the way. So in a way believing in our own selves and in our own capabilities shapes our “Destiny”. That is why sometimes even believing in something imaginary like “Destiny” or “God” could have positive influence on our abilities to attain our goals, provided that this belief leads to active and not to passive lifestyle.
Have you read “Games people play” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Games_People_Play_%28book%29)? I think it can reveal you why people love to rely on destiny so much.
I still believe that I control my own destiny. Life doesn’t come to you or to me. We let it happen. It is our activity or inactivity of a certain situation that decides the results, not some unforeseen, intangible circumstance. We live our lives the way we want. :)
Anyone who honestly believes that the success in life isn’t entirely based on luck is completely foolish.
Anyone who disagrees with me should consider how their life would have turned out if they were born to a poor single parent in Haiti, India, India, Afganistan, etc,(you get the point).
Despite how much “control” you believe you have in your life, it all boils down to who your PARENTS were, and WHERE you were born and raised.
People born to middle to upper class parents in developed countries have an enormous advantage to virtually everyone else on the globe. This fact breaks down to every subset in society. The better your parents are, the better you will likely be.
The obvious reasons are that you can only be as attractive or smart as your parents. Indirectly, your parents determine how and where you will be educated and which opportunities you will get. They also set a benchmark for what success is and what is acceptable.
This vicious cycle of wealthly people producing highly successful kids will continue. Clearly, nobody is in control of their lives because 99% of the outcome has been determined before you have any say. Most people don’t make any meaningful decisions in their lives until they turn 18. If you look at college admissions, social skills, most of that has been determined well before you can have any say. But yeah, other than that, you are a brilliant hard worker that controls your own destiny. Grow up and accept that life is ALL LUCK.
johnny12 my friend what about slumdogs who have become owners of billions?i still believe that hard work changes the destinies despite of having well established back ground or not.
ive seen many practical examples in my life of successful people who were not able to have even one time meal. but now with the hard work theyve changed their destinies
Finally someone who speaks some truth! I could not agree with you more. I absolutely despit(sic) despise the excuse/reason “it must have been meant to be.” Great article.
Despite people making excuses, I am a person who believes that everything is predetermined. I understand that belief in free will can help you get the results and changes you wanted. You can will what you want, but you can not will what you will… in other words you believing that you can make changes was predestined.
Although I don’t believe everything is predetermined I do believe we are born into circumstances that are meant for us to evolve out of or learn from. I think some are born into poverty but with the driving force to change thr circumstance. Others are there for different reasons and stay. I think both exist I just would like to find out how much is predetermined and how much is self will. I see evidence that people have different purposes ( or it could explain a lot) so I tend to believe it. The arts has been a good example for me to observe the pre-determined/self driven life debate. I’ve seen artists work EXTREMELY hard but never get anywhere because they didn’t have the “talent”. I’ve also seen very talented comedians work hard but never gain success. Then there’s the talented artists who gain success then end up killing themselves.
There’s also the fact that if you build something, who cares?
“Men heap together the mistakes of their lives, and create a monster they call Destiny.”
~John Oliver Hobbes
I believe that we have a natural course to follow in life, something
like a highway. But beyond this path exist other paths, such as
short-cuts, u-turns and stops.
No matter what you believe, you cannot prove it. Personally, I have always had an evolving value system, and don’t try to to say This Is The Way It Is. Someday…..we will all find out the truth (or not).
Is there only one option available to us? Albert Einstein wrote: “Human beings, in their thinking, feeling and acting are not free agents but are as causally bound as the stars in their motion.” The author of this article, Craig Harper, has a severely limited view of the universe and his role in it. He sees only in black and white, cut and dry. He believes only what he sees and ignores the immaterial, the intangible and the spirituality that is ALL AROUND US. To what extent do we control our destiny and how responsible are we for the course our lives take? An ancient Greek philosopher, who believed in a fixed and natural order of the universe, had this to say – “Nothing exists or has come into being in the cosmos without a cause. What seems to be accidental has always some hidden cause. Everything that happens is followed by something else which depends on it by causal necessity; it’s all part of a larger system. Likewise, everything that happens is preceded by something with which it is causally connected. The unity of the world consists in the chain-like dependence of cause upon cause.” So put that in your pipe and smoke it, silly narrow-minded Craig Harper, and open up a little.
Then we can prove that 2+2=5, my friend’s done it but i can for 100% say that its not right.