7 Key Questions to Answer
My brother’s son is in fifth grade and is starting to think about which high school is “right” for their family. In today’s private school market, the process of choosing the school that fits your family’s needs and style is nothing short of an art-form. Fortunately, this medium can be learned by just about anyone.
What’s your motivation for a private school education? This is the first question to ask when considering a private school education. Its answer reveals a lot about the parents and their hopes and dreams for their kids. For parents whose sole desire is to help their kids get into an Ivy-league college, private school may be helpful in this regard, as long as the child works hard and is responsible. Other families have a faith-based motivation for private schooling and so opt out of the public school system in favor of traditional values and a consistent process of discipline.
Some parents are looking for the school to provide structure and discipline which is not provided at home. This, I have found, is an unrealistic expectation. To expect a teacher to “undo” over twelve years of upbringing isn’t a fair expectation.
How far are you willing to travel? When I lived in New Hampshire, there were only four parochial high schools for the entire state. Some families would travel 45-50 minutes each way to school. What about you? Are you willing to add drive-time to your day? Can you be comfortable with your child when they get their license and handle the same commute in the 11th and 12th grades? How will the added driving expense affect your budget? The answers to these questions are as much about lifestyle as they are about educational expectations.
How much can you afford? Obviously an important question! I have seen countless families commit their teen to a private high school, only to have the school ask them to leave due to missed tuition payments. This places undue stress on the child and hardship on the family in the long run. If you can’t afford the tuition plus added expenses of books, technology and sports fees, better to go the public school rout.
What are your child’s needs? Children have particular wants and needs when it comes to a high school education. Some are so gifted athletically that they may choose for a private school that can coach them into professional sports. Others have a deep aptitude for science and choose a school that can focus his talents into an engineering path. Still others have children who need extra time, attention and resources and choose a high school accordingly.
Which values are at the top of your list? Why not sit down with your son or daughter and ask them to write 10 things down which are important for them in a high school. Encourage them to list everything from big lockers to fun dances to a fantastic art program. Parents should do the same thing and then compare your lists. Having a frank conversation about what’s important for parents and children is important.
How long a honeymoon will you endure? As it will take one to two years of research, Shopping around and open houses to attend, your decision should be given some time to play itself out. Don’t let one negative interaction with one secretary undermine several years of thoughtful discernment. On the other hand, if you see a pattern of poor communication or worse yet, irresponsibility on the part of the school administration, a red flag may be emerging. I recommend giving the school one to two years of honeymoon time.
What kind of parents help you feel at home? Let’s face it- not everyone is comfortable in every situation. If you feel out of place with the kind of people who are also part of the school community, it might not be the school for you. The key is in finding a school that helps you to feel at home. After all, your son or daughter will be spending four years there so comfort becomes a very important factor.
Mike St. Pierre is the Dean of Students at Oratory Preparatory School and blogs regularly at thedailysaint.com
Why private? I went to a public school and received a far superior education than I could have from any of the private schools in my area. The only benefits I’ve seen private schools have are slightly nicer facilities and slightly happier teachers.
Michael: private schools are MUCH less stressful as far as day to day activities go, and kids who got Fs in public schools often get As in private because the teachers are much more willing to stay later to help the students. Maybe the ones in your area suck, but there are some excellent private schools around the U.S. (like the one I went to for a year)
Personally I think Homeschooling is the best route for very independent kids, I did that as well (after private school, and I went to public school before that also). If your kid doesn’t mind sitting down and doing their damn work, you may want to look into homeschooling (but be prepared to get zero help from the state, I live in NY, and NY HATES homeschooled kids. They provide zero help, and our local school district is run by a bunch of idiots who view students as nothing more than “extra revenue” (a quote from a secretary at the school))
If your like my parents and make too much for financial aid, but not enough to “hand over a simple check”, then homeschooling is also a good option (which is why I eventually switched to it).
If anyone here wants help in getting info for homeschooling by the way, just email me at admin@nusuni.com . I did it for 2 years and loved it. I’ll give you the name of some nice online programs for homeschooled kids that are valid with most (if not all) states and other countries.
Hi Michael and Jeremy:
Maybe the key in all of this is CHOICE. Just as we can choose for whom we work and how well we do in life, education has now become a venue for greater choice. Jeremy’s point speaks to this.
Mike
[...] How to Choose a Private High School [...]
I think the most important is be clear about your objective of going to a private school. And what public school cannot offer. If you go to private school just to show off to your neighnors, forget it. Don’t waste your money and use it in a more meaningful way.
I was educated at an elite college preparatory program in my city, at a public secondary school. Prior to that, I was educated at a private school, and I would have to say, like Michael, that my education at the public school was far superior to my education at the private school. But that’s not to say all private schools are bad; it really depends on a number of factors.
I guess one factor depends on the availability of good private schools in the area one lives in (and with that, other factors). My advice to parents is to not limit themselves (and of course, their children) to one type of education alone. There are excellent magnet public high schools in every state, but also excellent private schools; and then, as Jeremy points out, there is also the option of homeschooling.
Here in Chicago, we have several excellent selective public high schools and programs that provide a variety of advantages for gifted children. If your finances don’t allow for private schooling, or you cannot see an advantage in schooling your child in a private school, try to find magnet programs and schools in your area.
Also, don’t sweat it too much if John wasn’t accepted to Excellent Bigname XYZ Secondary School. These “elite” schools/programs can help prepare your child for university life, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he or she can’t get into an Ivy League university.
I have a 15 year old son w/ADHD and ODD. I am a single parent, work full time (almost working poor). I have two other children, 20 yr. old in her 3rd year at a Saint Louis University, a 19 yr. old developmentally and physically challenged son. Both of these children graduated from our public high school w/a diploma, on time. My 15 year old is from a different father and is a different child. Has an IQ of around 130. Refuses to do his work and if he does it, he doesn’t turn it in. He is being pushed through our school system, despite his all “F”‘s. When I read your opinion that it’s unfair to ask someone to undo 12 years of parenting, I say, I don’t want him to fail. I want him to succeed. He lies about his work to me and his teachers. I need help. I don’t know where else to turn. Then, in my search, I find your ‘opinion’. At least I’m trying to save him before it’s too late.
St. John Lutheran School has been a blessing to our family. We have had three of our children attend, and very happy with the quality of education. Their preschool program is outstanding, and their small class size and classroom diversity is equaled by no other program in Libertyville. We were shocked by the tuition price, as similar programs in the area are more than double the tuition. I highly recommend St. John Lutheran School to families looking for quality preschools and day schools!
Hi Lisa, my son is very much like your own 15 year old son. He’s not quite failing every class but has a 1.2 GPA despite his high IQ. I’m looking into private schools that will be a better match than the public school he is currently in. Some time has gone by since your post, did you find a situation that is working well for your son?
Thank you, Jeremy. Private schools get such a bad rap, generally. I go to an elite prep school in a small town and am absolutely receiving a better education. The teachers are dedicated, the attention is individual, the schedule is flexible, the athletics are top- notch, the arts are fantastic, and the campus is beautiful. I love everything about my school.
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nice kind but looking for middle school