Being an introvert isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If it prevents you from doing what you really want to do, or hinders your working and personal lives, then something should change. However, introverts should be happy being so.
Author on Introverts, Nancy R. Fenn, wrote a Top Ten to get introverts through their day, and it’s mostly a How To in getting out of negative situations and keeping positive about their character.
- 1. Assert yourself as a legitimate personality type.
There are two legitimate personality types: extroverts and introverts. - 2. Correct people when they refer to introverts as neurotics.
Introverts are not neurotics. They are introverts. - 3. Correct people when they refer to introverts as prone to mental illness.
Introverts are no more prone to mental illness than others. When extroverts are under stress, they overeat, smoke, drink and become violent. When introverts are under stress, they withdraw. This does not make them mentally ill. - 4. Correct people when they assert that introverts are anti-social.
Introverts are not anti-social. They are drained by other people and must limit their time in company, but they are friendly and loving people. - 5. Correct people when they assert that introverts have nothing to say.
On the contrary, introverts won’t speak unless they have something important to say! - 6. Put a proper value on your ability to be a good listener.
Good listening skills are invaluable in all areas of business and industry. - 7. Do not apologize for time spent alone.
Explain to critical “others” that introverts need to spend at least half their time alone for good mental and emotional health. Then assert, if necessary, that introverts are a legitimate personality type. - 8. Introverts are not losers.
Take pride that you are in the company of such introverts, past and present, as Albert Einstein, Steven Spielberg, Queen Elizabeth II, Charles Darwin, Mahatma Gandhi, Michael Jordan and Bruce Lee. - 9. Stand up for introverted children who are being misunderstood in your presence.
This is one of the most healing things you can possibly do for yourself as it will heal your own inner child. - 10. Don’t let pushy extroverts interrupt you while you’re reading a good book.
Explain politely that you can’t talk right now, you’re reading a book.
Personally, I think some kind of middle-ground is ideal. Any introverts out there have more suggestions?
The Top 10 Ways to Protect Yourself from Wrong Accusations as a Result of Being an Introvert – [ResourceCenter]
We’ve previously written these on the topic:
Top 10 Advantages of Introvert
1. Assert yourself as a legitimate person, not a personality type.
3. Correct people when they state that, when extroverts are under stress, they overeat, smoke, drink and become violent. There are as many ways that extroverts and introverts deal with stress as there are people.
Good Article… I have met too many wonderful people who think there is something wrong with them when they are introverts.
What about the third personality type? Ambiverts are real people. We are the middle of the road. Sometimes we are drained by people and sometimes we need to be heavily involved in conversation. It seems to me that the two extremes would realize that there must be a middle ground. :)
Nobody is suggesting that you have to fit into “extremes” or that there is a right way of being acknowlegding and validating difference is not the same thing as driving a wedge and creating contention or conflict.
i would suggest paying attention to the type of conversation you prefer. introverts often feel no problems with deep conversations about thoughts and ideas- they just don’t do space fillers because they aren’t rewarded by the “exchange”. It’s just demand to participate at all requires energy from a zero source of interest and satisfaction. Think of introverted conversations like wells in the desert. It’s not that there’s no water, it’s that you have to be knowledgeable and willing enough to go deep enough to find it ( and notice that there have been people living in arid climates for thousands of years with no problem). Extroverts prefer lawns, running water, and pools and surface “fun” conversation. Do you have a preference?
Numbers 4 and 7 especially resonated with me. I have to work at not feeling guilty when I take time away from the social scene. An additional suggestion for other introverts is choose a job with care. Any form of employment that requires interaction with a large number of people on a daily basis (usually in a fast paced environment) will use up all of an introvert’s “people time.” An introvert will then be less likely to socialize outside of work, rather than give up hours that could be spent on “alone time.”
Thanks for posting the article. More introverts need reaffirmation that their lifestyle is a valid one.
But will there be a job with care?
Numbers 4 and 9 strike me as particularly important now, when the Virginia Tech shooter is being described as a “loner.” Anneli Rufus in her excellent book about introversion Party of One: The Loner’s Manifesto” writes about the damage that can be done to children when parents start to fear their introverted child may grow up to be a crazed killer just because she prefers playing alone to socializing with other kids.
American culture puts so much pressure on people to be extroverted. As whurleygrrl said, posts like this one are important to reinforce that introverts’ feelings and inclinations aren’t social failings in need of modification.
4, 7, & 8 resonated with me. The whole article did, but those three points stick out.
My parents were extroverts and just didn’t understand why I didn’t want to play with my friends every waking moment and told me I was weird for wanting to play in my room by myself. I needed downtime from other people.
I see the same in my son. He has friends and is socialable, but some days he just wants to shut the door and play. No friends. No parents. Just be by himself. And I let him!
Your son is lucky.
More on being a loner. I grew up during the 80′s and it seemed like we were bombarded by anti-suicide films. In every case the suicide victim in their films a) liked heavy metal music and b) was a loner. I was as far from being suicidal as you can imagine, but I liked heavy metal and I was a loner and really questioned my own sanity, even though there was nothing wrong with me.
This has an interesting side effect. Apparently right before someone kills themself, they give away things. I became very stingy not wanting to give the impression I was about to commit suicide.
There was a recent article on Slashdot that said gifted kids are more likely to enjoy heavy metal music. So that was my real problem. :-P
I don’t see why this has to be in the context of yet more unecessary labeling, even if you’ve whittled it down to an attractive pair.
The issue is really asserting yourself with people, period. If you would prefer not to be interrupted because you are reading, it doesn’t mean that the other person is an extrovert or that you are an introvert. It just means that you would prefer not to be interrupted because you are reading a book.
I think if you want to talk about mental illness, you should look at how humans obsessively search for categories to define themselves by. Especially the dualism of us(introverts, in this case) vs. them(extroverts). I think that is one of the most often sickening and damaging things we do.
Try to be true to your thoughts and feelings as you have them, and appreciate others that appreciate the degree to which you can do that, no matter what they are, where they come from, etc.
Acknowledging bias is not an attack on the biased. Asking for acceptance is not asking for validation.
THERE ARE ALREADY CATEGORIES, you’re just unaware of them, most likely because you are awash in only your own. People who have to interface between categories know better.
There is a clear bias toward extroversion in some cultures and the trouble is that most cultures employ informal methods of policing of their values and making sure others are in line with them. Stating that everyone should just be free to be themselves is not the opposite of what the article is saying, you just have no idea of the context yourself, so you think it means whatever your context allows you to think it means. In reality, no one is attacking extroverts; the article is merely stating effective ways to handle extrovert policing from others.
Introverts rarely interrupt someone who is reading without apologizing– because they already know how *they* would feel and tend to generalize their feelings about being interrupted to others. (Introverts have completely different brain chemistry that does not allow for interruptions very well. Extroverts have brain chemistry that keeps them from concentrating on a single task very well. Biological fact.) Knowing that, it *is* a fair assumption that someone who would need an explanation that it’s an imposition *would* be an extrovert.
Introverts being assertive. To an extent yes but that plays against the personality type. Why bother wasting precious energy?
I’d just ignore these myopic bozos.
Im 15,a freshman at highschool in Bangladesh. The trouble becoming a introvert is the continous agression of the extroverts on introverts. and also, not only in the US, almost every society puts a great deal of pressure on being outgoing.
xxdrowningkittenxx@hotmail.com
[...] http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/how-to-be-a-happy-introvert.html This is a good article regarding notions people have about introverts. It is a good starting point for a discussion of this issue. Do you have someone who is close to you and fits this description of an introvert? Please share your thoughts. [...]
[...] Du har erkjent at du er introvert. Plutselig står alt klart for deg. Du er ingen særing, du har bare havnet i en av Jungs mennesketype-kategorier. Lifehack.org gir følgende råd om hvordan være lykkelig som introvert: [...]
Wow thanks for this post i don’t agree with all of them the book and intruption i can understand and it bugs me but who likes being interupted… no one that i know of!! so i get that point however interuptions in general makes peeps lose there thought and sence introverts are more into there brain then others this is distrubing!
my hole life i just thought i had a problem i was a loner, i had social issues i didnt’ want to sit with the peeps at lunch all the time sometimes yeah i wanted people. then reasently i thought i had social anxity or was just anit social but then sometimes i wanted to be social so i was just confused! ‘nver heard this word before however “Intovert” but it’s me!
how to help someone like me feel accepted just don’t talk down to them…
I think that you are a mix of an introvert and extrovert. Do you have friends?
Me too, sometimes I want to join in a conversation but when I talk then my classmates will tell me to shut up. But I simply just cannot mix with the other girls in my class. I don’t like their personalities and we cannot communicate at all. I don’t want to socialise and I don’t know how. Probably because I have a sister and my classmates think that having a sister is enough because I have a partner. I think I can work with my classmates on projects if they are willing to but I cannot play with them, probably because I don’t want to or that I don’t dare to, and maybe I prefer reading books than playing with them silly games. And sometimes I don’t want noise in my class (I can understand that my classmates are just playful, like me when I am at home) but it really disrupts me and I cannot focus on my writing. I don’t think I can ever mix with them and I think I am going to have problems socialising when I grow up. Darned society. But I am glad I am myself because it should be the best personality ever. I am quiet in class and I don’t get scolded in class.
Long time ago i think.. im just a freak.. different from others people.. and cannot be same like them it really make me stressed.. Im feeling lonely cause my personality.. (shy.. having problem to have friens) Now i know that theres nothing wrong about myself.. theres many people like me.. Eventhough until now i still jelous to ekstovert cause they could have many friends, could express theyself, i just dont know.. sometimes i just feel life is just unfair… :(
Extroverts have friends but introverts can also have friends! Your potential friend might be an introvert, I think! And my classmate’s mother referred to me as shy(in my classmate’s birthday party). But I don’t think so! It is just that no one wants to play with me there and I was bored. Nothing wrong with me. But my mum is an extrovert or what I think because she has many friends but somehow I can’t open up. Maybe my classmates are extroverts. And I think you just expressed yourself, I don’t know, but I am expressing myself a lot and I don’t feel anything. And I don’t ever say anything when I am sad. I just cry secretly but you commented that you are lonely? Ha, nice place for introverts here.
can someone help me to save myself from this lonelyness? This feelings kills me..
The last time someone told me I should be more social, “get out more” and called me an introvert in an accusing tone I told him…
“Introverts are independent while extroverts are co-dependant so I am doing just fine as I am thank you.”
That was the “last” time anyone has chided me for my introspective ways.
Yay. But introverts are dependent in a way, do you know what I mean?
I mean dependent on extroverts. But not directly like what you said.
I think I should try this when someone refers me as ‘emo’ and my schoolmate asks why I am always alone.
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I DEFINITELY agree with Point 7. I have recently moved in with a group of extroverts. I like to spend time alone. They do not understand this and think it is odd. One of them even inferred I had some sort of mental illness because of it >:(
Obviously, I was hardly pleased with his comments and though I did not say anything wondered how would he like it if I inferred he had a mental illness because he talked too much.
I can sympathize with you and feel my blood boil but why did you move in with the extroverts in the first place? But we have no mental illness, yay. I remember one of my classmates(last year’s) talked a lot in class. I asked him why he talked a lot, and he said that he hoped that I will speak up. But it is impossible unless he comes in here. Um, but I want to ask a question (for introverts). Do any of you like music?
At my new job, my boss gets freaked out just cause I barely talk, I’m like aren’t you paying me to work? Talking waste times and slows down productivity. It’s very tiring for me when so many people are asking you so many personal questions, and they pretty much think I’m weird just cause I don’t go party every night or something, or that I must have some big even planned out for my weekend, other than the fact that I would rather rest.
YEP. Extroversion bias in the workplace. Get used to it, especially if you’re in the US after 1960. Check out some personality maps and see where are living/working, it might shed some light on things.
I’m Jim Hallowes and I wanted to both introduce myself and I also want to invite you to visit my website: http://www.HighlySensitivePeople.com.
Hope you have a very nice weekend!
Keep up your great work!
Warmest regards,
Jim
Jim Hallowes
http://www.HighlySensitivePeople.com
11260 Regent Street, Los Angeles, CA 90066-3414
Tel: (310) 390-4767, Office: (310) 556-3466, Cell: (310) 753-9381
Hi all, great to see this discussed – we recognize it’s normal to be introverted. And we have an unusual advantage in this day with technology being such a compliment to the introverted personality.
Jim, great site too. I’d like to introduce mine as well: Introverted By Design at http://www.introvertbydesign.com
Lots of great information there to enjoy, a bit of humor too!
Cynthia
Good article i must say… and I do agree that a person with a bit of both features will be successful in life. (I also agree that this view is from an introvert’s perspective)
I think the worst thing that could happen to an introvert is ” not knowing that he’s an introvert (people not knowing the true meaning of ‘introvert’)”
and the best thing… the “internet” lol
Whereas an extrovert’s best friend is his mobile!! (I really do pity the mobile though…how does it tolerate the bad smell for such a long time..lol)
Are you sure? An extrovert’s best friend is his mobile? And do you mean that an introvert’s best friend is the internet?
And Craig ….one more thing dude!! did u just observe these comments on ur article…They clearly suggest that Introverts never give out their opinions in one shot… they need a minute or 2 to think before saying the next statement…lol
What do you mean?
I agree that something has to be done to clear up the various misconceptions and stereotypes about introverts and introversion. However I think you approach is way to assertive for you average introvert to implement. Your advice would be great for an extrovert, but not so much for an introvert. If I didn’t no better I would say this article was written by an extroverts trying to help us “poor” introverts out. I think a more suttle approach on how to better deal with pushy extroverts would be more effective. I essence I am advocating finesse over the brute force method. I think finesse lends it self more towards introverts and introversion. For information on how you can do just that I suggest heading over to http://www.introvertcentral.com/
I think the problem too is that some read assertive (non-passive) introverts as aggressive or “passive-aggressive” (mostly because they want to, it takes the onus for trying to communicate well off of them- same as calling people they’ve *never attempted to speak to themselves* to stuck up). Basically, it’s frequently a no-win situation because they are using themselves as “normal” without questioning it and assuming that you are, too, and holding you responsible for the upkeep or denial of their assumptions. and I’d guess that these people they are only assertive in non-direct ways themselves or else there would have been a decent, *two*-way conversation before things get out of hand…
Aesthier,
LOVE your comment, “Introverts are independent while extroverts are co-dependant so I am doing just fine as I am thank you.”
You are SO right in that statement!! As an introvert myself, I’m my own best friend!! I’m SO thankful that I’m not dependant on others for my happiness! Sure, we all need a “little” bit of socializing – but not much!! How lucky are we??!! :)
Um, what kind of happiness?
My blog is about learning to succeed as an introvert. It can be a long road. But the internet and blogging are wonderful tools that can help lead to success.
I had a fairly difficult childhood in the sense that I am an introvert and on the top of that – shy. I grew out of being shy but am still an introvert ie. I can talk to people (my job requires lots of people interaction anyway – I am a medical student!) as part of work but outside uni and hospital, I’d prefer to be alone. It takes courage to reply ”I’m going home to spend some ‘me-time’ ” without feeling like a loser. Lots of my colleagues are party-loving extroverts!
All the points mentioned in the article resonate with me but I often encounter #5; I often get asked if I’m feeling alright/depressed etc when I’m quiet. It’s true we don’t talk unnecessarily unless we have something worth mentioning.
Good luck to fellow introverts out there. Be proud we’re spending alone-time well doing whatever we enjoy best – be it reading, watching films or plain nothing.
Yay, I am an introvert.
A lot of people have a hard time being alone. I don’t. I enjoy being with my immediate family, I enjoy reading, gardening, drawing… What I find interesting is how people want to label me when I’m just fine, thank you.
One other thing, Howie Mandel (OCD and ADD) is not criticized to any great extent. We’re all different, as long as we’re not hurting anyone… “To each his own.”
I always thought I had a problem. I was a very shy child in the late 80s and early 90s and my Dad would always criticized me for being anti-social. In taking the Myers-Briggs test, I found out I had an INTJ personality, which explains the reason why majority of the population (mostly the extroverts) thought I’m weird for being an introvert.
Now, as an adult, I’m able to carry conversations at work comfortably, but I rarely go out of my way to talk to people. Frankly, I just don’t care knowing about their personal business (their miserable marriages, problems with their children, etc.) and I do not want to share my own private life. However, I do love intellectual and stimulating conversations, but finding these type of people are rare.
Anyway, I am comfortable and very confident with myself. Although it took me many years to feel this way.
Thank You. You just explained what I have been feeling for years. My family never understood that about me, which made me feel horrible. I will research this more in depth. Once again, Thank You. Reading felt as though I was the one writing it.
What do you mean by intellectual and stimulating conversations?
It’s very important to understand how you operate in the world because it enables you to understand others better as well. I’ve found for myself that there is a tremendous amount of shame that goes along with not being the preferred personality type. I have found that acceptance is vital to my mental health. I have to work at it everyday and it’s great that information about personality types is available. I don’t think it’s a black and white issue, but self-awareness is critical for everyone. I think it may go under the category of emotional intelligence.
Lovely!!!
Thanks a lot!
I’d say the list is pretty complete. Introversion conflicts mainly happen when you are young.In high school, being an introvert is a huge disadvantage to enjoying school which emphasizes and rewards the extravert style of socialization. As an adult I don’t notice any issues as I work at home and my close friends are all introverts as well. We kind of gravitate towards each other, just like extroverts do. I wrote about parenting and introvert here: http://www.straightdopedad.com/introverts-are-not-retarded-or-anti-social/
I like school except the part when I am forced to speak up in class.
And also forced to do projects with people I can’t get along with, such as the boys in my class.
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I like the article, but really agree with IamMe statement about the article kind of seeming like it was written by extroverts to help us “poor” introverts out.
I am also introverted and was quite shy as a kid; I’ve only recently been able to get out of the shyness part, and now I’m content with myself. I just had to come to terms with the fact that no, I’m not going to have a million friends and I can’t go into something with the goal to get people to like me. I have a few very close friends, and we’ve stayed that way a lot time, even if we become disconnected for even weeks at a time.
I just have to stop playing the social games that we are constantly bombarded with and accept that I simply enjoy being alone a lot.
I also agree with Iris in that I don’t care to talk about personal stuff, but deep, intellectual conversations are stimulating and I enjoy them a lot, though these types of people are hard to find.
Thanks for sharing. I am glad to know I’m not alone.
[...] How To Be a Happy Introvert [...]
I dont think being an Introvert is any bad. Being an Introvert u rather feel happy. And since u dont be in a social group, U dont have to hurt others by ur words or feelings but hurt urself if required. Giving pain to urself is always better than giving pain to others.
I share the same sentiments.
At first I don’t understand what you mean, because how would you hurt others? But now I understand. And I agree with you. Being in a social group might hurt others, and so they might hurt you. But maybe it might not be the case, since we introverts don’t have the ‘adaptation’ to being in a social group. The extroverts might get along easily with one another because they have the same personality type, I think. But I don’t think extroverts and introverts can get along.
I am a fairly introverted person and I agree generally speaking with how energy is spent on just being around other people, and on the other hand extroverts get energy by being in company of others. But there are too many other factors involved to classify people into specific groups. Introverts can later become less introverted and more extroverted or a bit of both later on their life and vice versa. Very often you may be stuck in a rut and finding your feet or something along those lines. All it may take is small changes to your lifestyle to help yourselve deal with being shy, sensitive, introverted and same extroverts. Although many would say the world is more extroverts and society says this or that (not my opinion) life is what you make it. There are many wonderful things about being an introvert, juts be proud for all the blessings you have in your life, and so what if you need some time and space, extroverts should know when to let introverts be and introverts should not get toosensitive by the end of the day by finding an outlet like swimming or fitness classes, something that works for them, even if it is simply to have some space and time to just reflect and to restore their balance.
[...] How To Be a Happy Introvert [...]
I’m interested in this picture above: 20070417 cloak 3.jpg Could someone please tell me who the photographer is?
I do all those things. For some reason introverts have to explain ourselves to be understood but extroverts don’t have to explain their behavior. Sitting alone is apparently sad and talking to strangers is fun.
But to me sitting alone is fun but it is okay when my friend or whatever stranger just tap me on the back suddenly. But talking to strangers really gives me the creeps.
I think that it is because the extroverts explained themselves with their behaviour. And to the extroverts, I think that they really want company and they cannot stand a minute being alone with no one to talk to. I think I am an extrovert at home, I am always bored at home and I want someone to talk to, but I don’t talk a lot in school, my classmates will criticise me of not talking a lot. So I think that the extroverts think that sitting alone is very boring and because they want company, they so desperately want company, so they would be so happy if someone talks to them.
You’re an empath. I really hope most extroverts could empath introverts as much as you do of them.
I am an introverted person and strangely, as I have observed myself (as I often do) I have found that I really don’t care of any conversation that is a part of trivia. However I can discuss very systematically and intensely on any matter of importance or if I have to make a point. I often speak less and it’s to the point. Going into the depths of any matter really fascinates me. Like most introverts it took me time to realize that I really belonged in this category. So childhood and schooldays were not really the best part of my life. I remember trying to act like an extrovert. I was not able to accept myself as an introvert and kept struggling with myself. It’s only when I crossed teenage I found material on introverts on the internet and I gained awareness on this issue. I am far better off now. Thanks :)
I’m currently sixteen and I’m in Highschool. On top of that, I have an introverted personality, which is really tough… High School is one of the most social and conformist environments in the world, there are so many rules, social obligations and strange requirements that need to be met so you are accepted.
Luckily, I’m aware that I’m an introvert and that It’s not strange that I don’t want to hang out with people all the time, go to parties or obsess over trying to find a relationship(tbh I think it’s pointless at this age) but it does bother me that others aren’t aware of the fact that these personality types exist.
However, I believe that if one is introverted and they’re in the high school environment, but aren’t aware that they have an introverted personality, it would make life really difficult and confusing, as they may think they’re abnormal.
I really think the whole concept of introversion and extroversion should be taught in high school classes, so kids are more aware of the others around them during the four long years, and in the future. It would overall create more acceptance of introversion, and people with introverted personality types may feel more accepted by society in the long run.
Even being aware of this, I’m still regularly bothered by high school, it’s extremely draining being around people for 8 hours.
You seem like an extrovert to me. But I am happy that you don’t like to go to parties. Me too.
What’s wrong with being an introvert. Why should everyone be extroverted?
What about this post says extrovert to you?
I feel that I am an introverted person, yet being in secondary school as yourself, this limits my social choices – I think that I frustrate myself a lot, being under pressure to conform and go out with friends when I’d much rather stay at home by myself. With society being so orientated towards extroverted people I often feel ostracised and isolated from my peers which is an apparent emotional paradox: whilst I would like social approval, I dislike social outgoings.
I am so happy that many people here share the same thoughts as me. But I think that introverts have to struggle in society because we have to talk a lot (or so i think) but I feel nervous when I am asked to speak up in class(to answer a question a teacher asked). Last year in class my group mates were telling me to speak up, speak up and speak up. I think they are extroverts or sort of, but I am an introvert! What can I do? However, I speak up when I know the answer to the question the teacher asked. I think my sister is more of an extrovert, I think it is because she is mature or whatever, I don’t know. But I will open up to people I am familiar with, at most a little bit, though. In this case, we have affinity. I hope I can do jobs that do not require a lot of talking. And as an introvert, I find it hard to tell others what I am thinking. I tried to write it in a blog, but I did not show the post in the end. But I think I can adjust to my personality, yay. At least I love.
!!! I have a lot to say here in this introvert ‘world’ or what I call it. There are many types of introverts, though, and extroverts, though I don’t know what they are like. But you’ll be happy when you are yourself. I hope this serves as advice. Because I started to observe about how humans think(or what I might call, I don’t really know what it is called, but I like what I am thinking, so far it poses no harm), think about love and everything, but I think mostly love and hate and good and bad and about feelings. And life. So I hope I gained some real experience in this ‘field’. Anyone know what I mean?
True, very true. Introvert, by definition is not an inferior version of extrovert. But I could remember watching one of the show in TV that tells about child abuse. What seriously offend me is the statement this one policewomen commented that goes this way:
“…child abuse, such as rape is devastating. It causes tremendous trauma to the child, and the child would later on become more recluse and withdrawn. As the consequence she wouldn’t say anything and wouldn’t go out and talk with others. The child becomes an introvert.”
At that time in my mind I was already scoffing at this lady. As if being an introvert is the effect of abuse! She has little to no grasp of what “introversion” really mean.
Unless what she really means, is a child who is extroverted by nature beforehand all of the sudden turned introverted because the incident had a very huge impact on the child. As if, in this case it could be “treated”. But I don’t think so. It was said in a direct and blunt way. I don’t think she ever meant it as in the second case. Even if she does, she still have a horribly twisted misconception about introvert.
Still, thank God I have this friend that scored off as ESFP after I told him about the MBTI test. He understood what introversion is, though not completely. But what he found bizarre is that he’s not introverted! Apparently he couldn’t believe himself that he’s an ESFP (one reason is because he’s a gamer and could play on and on for very long hours). I couldn’t too, but when I recall of his style and mode of conversation it fits him very well. He told me after the MBTI test he become more and more involved with people than before. In other word, he had more confidence in himself (to do what he’s always good at, only better).
Being introverted, however we don’t show that air of confidence to people often. In fact it’s safe to say we could be confident without outwardly showing it to the whole world. Being introverted you’d have to think of several factors – mental energy, physical energy, under-stimulated or over-stimulated, undercharged or over-analysing (over-analysing is a draining process too), type of environment for social interaction (and I mean, social as in being with ONE and/or to TWO person at ONE time), knowing your current level of energy by what you feel [buzz in the head, tingling feelings in limb, etc.].
In time I’m not much surprised when people don’t understand much of introversion. But I try, I still try.
I really freaking hate how introverts are told by extroverts that we need to be more like them – and that we can help ourselves by going to parties, and talking to strangers and going overseas and going on Contiki tours. Errgghh. I am more than happy to be alone most of the time, even at home. In fact, I revel in my times on my own. And being told ‘It’s ok. You sound like an extrovert. don’t worry about it’. There’s nothign wrong with being an introvert!
Here’s a question to my fellow introverts: was/is high school tough to go through for you? I’m on my senior year of high school now and I’m dreading going back because of the non-stop crowds and small talk. I’d like to sit alone when I can, but it feels wrong at school…